Hi...you talked about your mom in a thread somewhere and I've been thinking about it.....how you thought of her when you wanted to die.....how much she loves you....I just wanted you to know....my son told me something similiar several weeks ago........he had been feeling suicidal....I didn't know what to say.....I just told him he's not supposed to go before me.....and that things will get better....I'm scared Zac and I'm hoping he'll come to me like Sammy's son did....and I can take him to the hospital....I'm hoping I didn't miss my opportunity.....maybe that was my one chance.....and I blew it....I wonder about his drinking.....he is functioning and he's got a gf and good things in his life...but I get scared...
Anyway...thank you Zac....your post helped me.....to talk about this....
Love and Light,
Diana
Hey WW ~ Don't despair...Zac responded to a thread I wrote about my girl being clean six months. She was like your son, just as Zac was. They feel so lost and at sea - unfit for the world, confused about how 'normal' people deal with things, overwhelmed by everyday things...but both Zac and my daughter found their way back to the light, and I hav efaith your son will, too. You are a compassionate and loving mom, WW, and he'll feel that when he most needs it, just as Zac felt it. It does mean something and can give them hope, so don't despair - just keep loving him.
Peace~MomNMore
Peace~MomNMore
Aw mom n' more you're post made me feel so good....bless your heart....my son and I are very much alike and that's good on one hand because talking alot is so necessary when hurting....but then there's the awful depression I've had....I really hope this girl he's fallen for is healthy....he says they have alot in common and synchronicities abound... they wanted to come for dinner last night but I just couldn't I was out...I have never said no to him for sunday dinners, this was a first and now i can't reach him on facebook, email or phone and I pray this is just temporary because he's moved and needs time to settle....I really do want to meet her though....thank you and congrats on 6 months for your daughter !
Gidday WonderWoman
Try not to get inside your head thinking about what your son is thinking about in regards to the missed dinner, all you need to do is organise a get together that suits you all and who ever heard of kids who answer there parents messages straight away.
My mum was treated in ways all her life that told her she was useless to the point she though if i stubbed my toe it was her fault or if the kids got the flu she had given it to them.....years of being beaten up and then verbally enforced how stupid she was took its toll and she died believing this.
I could tell my mum i loved her and she would get uncomfortable because she didnt know what unconditional love was, she would say it back but i could always sense the fear but hey she got to see 2 of her sons who are alkys sort there lifes out and get sober and now i know that she is looking down on me understanding of her life on earth and its lessons for her.
To all Mums and Dads tell your kids you love them and are proud of them, hug them everyday, say sorry if you need to straight away and never goe to bed angry with them and if they are asleep when you get home tell them you love them and they will hear you in there dreams.
I know that some kids dont want to hear and in cases tough love is needed because addiction is there earmuffs, but even earmuffs need to be taken off now and then.
I know for all this to work for me i have to love myself and allow that energy to flow from me to others and sometimes i F this up but at least one day at a time i am trying to break the cycle and share Gods love.
MomNMore and WonderWoman by just being there and caring and understanding your own lives and letting your kids know they are truely loved is a head start for them in lifes journey and all you can do and as they progress in life they will realise all the love that shines there way as indeed they are already starting to do.
light and love Zac
Try not to get inside your head thinking about what your son is thinking about in regards to the missed dinner, all you need to do is organise a get together that suits you all and who ever heard of kids who answer there parents messages straight away.
My mum was treated in ways all her life that told her she was useless to the point she though if i stubbed my toe it was her fault or if the kids got the flu she had given it to them.....years of being beaten up and then verbally enforced how stupid she was took its toll and she died believing this.
I could tell my mum i loved her and she would get uncomfortable because she didnt know what unconditional love was, she would say it back but i could always sense the fear but hey she got to see 2 of her sons who are alkys sort there lifes out and get sober and now i know that she is looking down on me understanding of her life on earth and its lessons for her.
To all Mums and Dads tell your kids you love them and are proud of them, hug them everyday, say sorry if you need to straight away and never goe to bed angry with them and if they are asleep when you get home tell them you love them and they will hear you in there dreams.
I know that some kids dont want to hear and in cases tough love is needed because addiction is there earmuffs, but even earmuffs need to be taken off now and then.
I know for all this to work for me i have to love myself and allow that energy to flow from me to others and sometimes i F this up but at least one day at a time i am trying to break the cycle and share Gods love.
MomNMore and WonderWoman by just being there and caring and understanding your own lives and letting your kids know they are truely loved is a head start for them in lifes journey and all you can do and as they progress in life they will realise all the love that shines there way as indeed they are already starting to do.
light and love Zac
You are so right....inside my head....thanks for the reminder....I do that somethimes...
ok...now I'm crying....yeah..your mom and I have something in common....I felt useless growing up too....thank you for your words of wisdom Zac....they mean alot.....I think I'm gonna be ok....as long as i never give up...
ok...now I'm crying....yeah..your mom and I have something in common....I felt useless growing up too....thank you for your words of wisdom Zac....they mean alot.....I think I'm gonna be ok....as long as i never give up...
Zachary that was a beautiful post! I know your Mum is looking down so proud of you!
Have a great day! Your old pal Val
Have a great day! Your old pal Val
WOW Zac, that was awesome. My mother is like that, but you wrote it in such a way that made me kinda think about how she got here. I have taken on a lot of that myself and am really trying to work on it.
My mom and I stay at odd, not really fighting, but she has her issues and I cannot fix them for her. She seems to have no desire or tools to fix them herself.
WW we do need to stay out of our heads as well as those of others. I got up this morning feeling my husband was angry with me. I told him some things he had done and said that I did not like. This is hard for me as "I am not supposed to have emotions or feelings" (words and actions of others taught me this growing up)(then I marry a man that can't feedback).
It is hard to find a balance of standing up for yourself and feeling as if you are hurting someone else.
The thing is I am sure he was angry with himself, not me, but then I feel responsible for his feelings. Hmmm
The positive....at least I care, huh?
My mom and I stay at odd, not really fighting, but she has her issues and I cannot fix them for her. She seems to have no desire or tools to fix them herself.
WW we do need to stay out of our heads as well as those of others. I got up this morning feeling my husband was angry with me. I told him some things he had done and said that I did not like. This is hard for me as "I am not supposed to have emotions or feelings" (words and actions of others taught me this growing up)(then I marry a man that can't feedback).
It is hard to find a balance of standing up for yourself and feeling as if you are hurting someone else.
The thing is I am sure he was angry with himself, not me, but then I feel responsible for his feelings. Hmmm
The positive....at least I care, huh?
Gidday Jamv
Sometimes when i am scared or fearful say if my wife is crook or i feel im being disregarded (they had to do this when i was drinking and old habits are hard to break for partners as well) or there is a pressure situation (worry) coming up in my life or should i say in my head i can mask all this fear with anger and it is usually with the ones i love and one day at a time i am getting better at taking ownership of my fear and not giving it away to someone else.
And it is hard making all these changes and starting to have opinions and standing up for myself because these are all things i was not known for and it can be difficult for my wife because she was captain for so long when i was drinking and now i want to wear the hat as well.........sometimesLMAO
light and love Zac
Sometimes when i am scared or fearful say if my wife is crook or i feel im being disregarded (they had to do this when i was drinking and old habits are hard to break for partners as well) or there is a pressure situation (worry) coming up in my life or should i say in my head i can mask all this fear with anger and it is usually with the ones i love and one day at a time i am getting better at taking ownership of my fear and not giving it away to someone else.
And it is hard making all these changes and starting to have opinions and standing up for myself because these are all things i was not known for and it can be difficult for my wife because she was captain for so long when i was drinking and now i want to wear the hat as well.........sometimesLMAO
light and love Zac
My son moved back into the downtown apt.....I find myself sending prayers out to the universe a little more. The other day he helped a woman and her two kids who were "drunk on listerine" to the nearest shelter. He just scooped them all up from his front step and walked them over to the next block. I am so amazed at who he is as a person. Shamefully speaking I would have judged and ran away from them. :-(
Jamv, I have the same thing going on here with my husband....yet I don't even know how to begin the conversation. I can't get past the fact that he is stoned before 8 am on a sunday. I get out of the house more these days.
Jamv, I have the same thing going on here with my husband....yet I don't even know how to begin the conversation. I can't get past the fact that he is stoned before 8 am on a sunday. I get out of the house more these days.
