Today is my last day I took my last pill today, the tapering has done good so far I have stayed on my planned, but I almost caved today, My type of work takes me in people's homes all day I am there by myself, This person had pain pills in her bathroom I knew she would not miss one or two or three etc., I kept telling myself not to do it because then I would have to start all over again the other side of my brain said what the hell just a couple could do no harm, at least it would get me to the weekend and then maybe the wd would not be as hard to handle if I was home... but something stopped me, maybe it was the thought that I just can't go thru this again or maybe it was the thought that if I took them then, what would happen next time I am around them am I going to just keep taking them from people that trust me. I dont know what stopped me but something did and I did not do it.. It was nerve wracking I wanted them so bad, but I stopped myself, maybe I will make it this time. I am just so scared not so much of the wd. but of this mental thing, this horrible voice in my head that keeps at me all the time.. Well tommorow is suppose to be freedom day . Please everyone Pray for me, keep me in your thoughts I hope I can do this I really want to.. Thank you soooooooo much for all of your support..
Trying........you will surely be in my thoughts and prayers for the next few weeks. You can do this, you know you can!
Have you made sure all the pills are out of your house? Can your husband hide his or take them somewhere else. The temptation is just more than you should have to deal with for a while.
Taking a pill from someone else's house..........I am very proud of you. That took some strength! I was once in real estate, and did that while showing a house. Not proud of it now, but we all have done things we are not proud of.
If you need any help in the next few days, you can e-mail me if you'd like.......shewhosews56@aol.com......And you always have the board for support! Good luck and take care!
Trying-
Yay!!! Wow, what a temptation. I would've thought exactly as you did. I'm so glad you resisted the urge, because it never would've stopped.
I told this before, but when I worked for a dentist, we got a box full of Vicodin samples. I took one, then another, etc. Finally I took them all and told everyone I cleaned out the cupboards and threw out all the expired meds.
We all have similar stories. We tell them not to shock, but to share.
I'll be praying for you!
Yay!!! Wow, what a temptation. I would've thought exactly as you did. I'm so glad you resisted the urge, because it never would've stopped.
I told this before, but when I worked for a dentist, we got a box full of Vicodin samples. I took one, then another, etc. Finally I took them all and told everyone I cleaned out the cupboards and threw out all the expired meds.
We all have similar stories. We tell them not to shock, but to share.
I'll be praying for you!
You said you were tempted to take one or two or three because she would have never known the difference....
You might be surprised..... I almost always knew EXACTLY how many pills I had in my bottle... Even if it was full with over 200, I could usually tell you exactly how many were in there. This person may be the same way and it could have damaged your relationship in a way that the pills would not have been worth it...
I'm proud of you... You can do this!
Danni
You might be surprised..... I almost always knew EXACTLY how many pills I had in my bottle... Even if it was full with over 200, I could usually tell you exactly how many were in there. This person may be the same way and it could have damaged your relationship in a way that the pills would not have been worth it...
I'm proud of you... You can do this!
Danni
Danielle........LOL...you have a good point...I would have missed one pill, too! But i never kept mine in a medicine cabinet. Mine were hidden....deep in the back of my closet, in an obscure drawer in the back of the basement.......in the spare bedroom under the mattress.......anywhere but the medicine cabinet!! hehehe
Thanks to all of you guys for your kind words I just hope I can stay clean this time.. Yes Carol my husband has hidden his pills reallllll good I know because in a moment of weakness I looked for him I was so mad that he hid them so well even tried to get him to tell me where they were LOL.. but lucky for me he would not.. I have stopped looking for them. and told him that he needs to pick up his own prescriptions for now on, and hide them again.. He says he will. I am trying to stay strong but each day seems like it is a new test. I cant believe how many people have pain pills in their houses, that they take only when they need them, I dont know how they do it, mine were always gone in a few days. LOL.... I am trying and I think I will make it this time.. Thanks again for all your support.
Carol, you're right.... I would have never kept my pills in the medicine cabinet.... Not only would it be too tempting for anyone who came over, but my husband would have been able to count them and see how many I was REALLY taking.
My hiding places were: in a shoe box (I have 100 pairs of shoes), at the bottom of a vase, in a tin container I keep pasta in, in the doggie treats jar, behind my recipe books (my husband actually did find them there - he was looking for something and the bottle fell out), underneath my dresser, in the trunk of my car, in the garage, on top of my dresser, under the sofa......
Isn't it weird all the places we've hidden these things?
My hiding places were: in a shoe box (I have 100 pairs of shoes), at the bottom of a vase, in a tin container I keep pasta in, in the doggie treats jar, behind my recipe books (my husband actually did find them there - he was looking for something and the bottle fell out), underneath my dresser, in the trunk of my car, in the garage, on top of my dresser, under the sofa......
Isn't it weird all the places we've hidden these things?
Not weird at all to me. I needed to have them accessible, no matter what. I used coat pockets in the foyer, cups in the china cabinet......somewhere in every part of the house. I was never more than a few steps away from a fix in the event I had company or something and couldn't go to the main stash upstairs in my room. It was a full time job.
It's a sickness, you know. There is no better liar or coniver than a drug addict. I am very glad I can laugh about this now. ha ha
