Today

Hi
thanks everyone for your responses its nice to know other people really understand what you are going thru. Today my h picked me up hed been smoking dope all day and doing nothing else, he was pissed off i was even talking to him when he picked me up from work. I am so incredibly angry i feel like smashing somthing i have run out of things to do, he has been lectured to death, i have clients that get over thier issues quicker than he does. I have run out of responses and have continual head and stomach aches. I think my options are gradually reducing. Like one of you said you cant reason with a drug addict, he tells me he wants to stop but does nothing to stop. I am so sad because I really want a baby and cant have one bcause the marajuana effects his sperm but he doesnt care. I dont even believe anything he says, i think he works nightshift but maybe some days he just hangs out with his dealer, i sont know i wouldnt even put it past him if he had a girlfriend
i am in so much pain and i have noone to support me
emile
Emile,

It sounds to me like you need to take a step back to take sometime out for yourself so that you can think straight and focus on what you need to do. Its hard when you feel all this anger and resentment, when you cant understand how they can be so careless and just walk a way from something that could be so good - how they can choose their dealers over their wives - which are really more than just a person, who are entire lives and futures and everything. Its almost easier to think that there is someone else because it makes their irrational decisions a little less empty and hopeless.

Hang in there, from my experience you are going through the worst part now - when you realize that it cant be both - a family life and drugs, when you want them to stop so much but you realize that there is little you can do about it, when things have crossed that line that you are beginning to realize you may not be able to cross back from, but you dont just want to throw in the towel and walk away. It all takes time. A lot of time one hump at a time.

On the bright side realize that you will be ok. You will surive and get over this - some days are easier, some days are harder but you will be just fine.

Take care

emile, he's probably selling.