Hi all I know its kinda silly that Im posting again,but I cannot help it I myself am very proud of me!!!! Tomarrow I get back into the "swing"of things.I have my therapy tomarrow than group Tues,Weds Thurs,so I probaly won't be online much during this comming week.
I agree with all who were saying about getting back to group.I planned on it anyways for this week.I didn't go for 2 weeks & though Ive been okay,I admit....I enjoy that "group"time.It's Sabrina time ,a time & place that I can have all & just for me.
Its so odd when I first started this journey 59-60 days ago,I went to group & therapy mainly because...I had no choices left.I could of "just stopped"getting high like before & think...."Oh I'm okay"Or I could do what I did.Admit that even though I may not be getting high,Im NOT okay.I will never be totally okay because I will carry this addiction & the habits that come with it for the rest of my life.And THAT is one hell of a battle to try & fight alone with no extra support,.I admit I am or at least I was at one time a very strong woman.Id square off my shoulders & do what I needed to.However when it comes to drugs....I didn't stand a chance.I even KNEW what I was doing yet I still did it,still made the excuses,still talked myself into believing I NEEDED the pills...for energy,for me to be me.Ive learned that where I was 60 days ago is NOT who I truley am,that person is just a shade of the real me.
It's been a crazy kind of 2 mths.The first 2-3 weeks I really didn't know if I could do this.When I say the first 2-3 weeks I mean EVERYDAY,Id obsess over pills,wanting them.Than Id dream of them at night (when I did sleep)After those couple weeks....surprise surprise...it did get better.Not all rainbows & sunshine better but I didn't obsess everyday.Ive had a couple of close moments,& THANKFULLY this time I knew enough & had the right type of support there to help me work through those cravings.Im sure for the rest of my life Ill have moment of wanting that feeling,but its something I just need to deal with & be aware of the things that "set me off".Slowly Im changing my habits.As far as how I handle life & such.I realized that I was so use to "just getting high"over anything.Instead of seeing it for what it is...& dealing.
Well all Im not sure when Ill pop in again,as you know my BIL is real sick.Hes so strong & fighting it.And beings my group is located in the same town the hospitals in it will be easy to go from group to go visit him.Thank GOODNESS for my Anne as shes been cooking dinner for us & helping out so much.
ANYWAS.....Sorry this is so long,but I just can't help it.Its been ALONG time since Ive been proud of myself.Yet today,I am so proud of ME.Im proud of how far Ive come & how far Ill be going.True life can be hard & have the real crappy times,but Im getting use to feeling happiness without taking a bunch of pills.I have that sparkle back in my eyes I lost so long ago.It takes a bit to get use to.....but its feeling pretty darn good.
Take Care all
Love Sabrina
MJ- Congratulations, you deserve to be happy and proud of accomplishing 60 days clean. I know you've had hard times and have hard times to come with your BIL, but you can do it. My prayers are with you!
Congratulations Sabrina.Is this group IOP and then you go to meetings seperately? I was in IOP about 12 years ago and that's what they did.
Have you thought about getting a sponsor Sabrina? They can help you start the steps.When you are ready,I will mail you the guide I followed.It saved me a lot of headache trying to figure it out.
I'm proud of you.
Have you thought about getting a sponsor Sabrina? They can help you start the steps.When you are ready,I will mail you the guide I followed.It saved me a lot of headache trying to figure it out.
I'm proud of you.
Sabrina,im so very proud and happy for you.Ive always had faith you would find your way.Im confident you will follow through with what you need to do,becasue i believe you really WANT this for the first time in your life.Good for you girl!
I hope your BIL gets better,if not,i hope he is as comfortable as possible.
Thinking of you~KIM
I hope your BIL gets better,if not,i hope he is as comfortable as possible.
Thinking of you~KIM
sabrina.........
thinkin of u and praying for u...........
God Bless you...
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
thumper
thinkin of u and praying for u...........
God Bless you...
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
thumper
molly IM so happy for you...you have gone a long long way ,thinking of you often ,will email you and others soon ,tell you whats going on in my life ,,love poopie,clean today,
Congratulations! you have every right to be proud. Stay strong and good luck. God bless and take care.
Congratulations! 60 days is awesome. You have every right to be proud of yourself.
60 days is a turning point. If you can do 60 you can do 120.
Take care
Hawk
60 days is a turning point. If you can do 60 you can do 120.
Take care
Hawk
Congrats MJ/Sabrina! All good things to you...
~MomNMore
~MomNMore