I have a 59 yr old bro with a 50 yr addiction to one substance or another, whatever he can get his hands on. I accept where he is at and what (as much as someone w/o a substance can comprehend) he will do to obtain a fix.
My parents although mostly my mother is another matter. Once in awhile she tells me what my bro is doing to them (such as stealing their, eg, cash, meds, food - he doesn't go 'anywhere' without his pack sack). When mom does this I know my bro's conduct has amped up and she wants help. I brainstorm for/with her; our discussions intensify before reason kicks in a bit. She will not put locks on her cupboards, freezer, fridge, etc; she will not call the police... ...
I just learned a life long friend of his (she's not as bad as him, she does try to honestly earn a few dollars for herself) banned him from her life - for the same things my bro does to our parents. My mom 'believes' my bro's story('s) and that his friend (typical behavior of mom and bro) was the one who wronged him or is nuts or something like that. And this is just the latest.
I am of the mind my bro has been this way too long; too enabled; never worked (on disability for yr's), never taken responsibility for himself; etc. I could be wrong.
What does a person do? I cannot be at my parents all the time. Mom's tied my hands. She does not get that a family intervention is not going to work with him - he does not respect her, he is not going to respect his siblings telling him to stop. ... Anything?
The end results for an addict is jails institutions and death. Your moms enabling is actually helping your bro into one of those categories. Have you tried Alanon? see if mom would be willing to go? Its for family and friend of addicted loved ones. As long as there is breath, there is hope. Don't give up on him but mom isn't helping.
I recently discovered the TV Show "Intervention". In their words, codependency has killed as many people as the drugs. Also, most addicts on their own don't have the capability to maintain their habits. They have people around them that enable and "bail them out" in order to keep the addiction going.
I had never heard it expressed that bluntly before - but suspect it is true.
For codependents there are good programs wih Al Anon and NAR Anon. They are in the phone book and online for meetings nearby. Attend the meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps .. and then you'll be able to more expertly assess the life circumstance.
Just my 2 cents....
I had never heard it expressed that bluntly before - but suspect it is true.
For codependents there are good programs wih Al Anon and NAR Anon. They are in the phone book and online for meetings nearby. Attend the meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps .. and then you'll be able to more expertly assess the life circumstance.
Just my 2 cents....
