Last night I had a dream that I found a zip lock bag in my dresser full of pills.......and I took them. I woke up thinking wtf... I have never had a dream like this, not even when using.
Today, I drilled a drill bit right through my finger in my garage, yes it went to the bone..I called my wife and had her meet me at the hospital, I told her if I was given a script to not say anything and just rip it up once we left the hospital I was in the ER from 10:20 to 2:20 at which point I had to walk out without being seen, I had a parent /teacher conference at school that could not be missed.
I basically just need a tetanus shot, but the whole thing had my heart racing. I feel I could have said no to the script if I had the chance, but it was nice to have back up if I needed it. My finger hurts, but not as much as I would have expected.
Best Regards,
Tom
Tom
You made my finger hurt just reading that. Was the hospital that crowded ? You should watch for infection. Good job on telling your wife to tear up the scrip. I'm sure you already know this but if it starts to swell put ice on it. I hope it feels better soon
Frank
2 nights ago, I had a dream that the police were rounding up people to sit in a grounded airplane to experience what astronauts do..... you got to sit in there and then they would shake the plane and explode things around you and it was supposed to simulate re-entry of the space shuttle.....
I got out of the plane at the last minute because I was scared.... and, when the "training" was done, I realized everyone inside had burned up (including my niece, whom her mom had said she could stay inside with me)...... Come to find out, the police were rounding up anyone with a pain pill addiction and anyone on suboxone and were killing them on purpose, to rid the world of pill addicts.
Each time a new group of people would get in, I would scream and try to warn them.... then my son would run close to the "plane" and when I would finally get him away, my 2 dogs would run over there..... I would be screaming and crying, trying to get my dogs to come back, and would get them away right as the next explosion happened. This went on all night; I would wake up crying, then would go back to the same dream as soon as I fell asleep again.
And you all wonder why I take Ambien.... LOL..... This is what I go through when I don't....
Tom, you did the right thing today, taking your wife with you to the ER. When I first got sober, I posted that I was worried about the same thing - if I had surgery or broke a bone or something, how would I take pain pills "as prescribed" and not get addicted to them (if I have another baby, I'll have to have a C-section again and won't have a choice as to whether or not I take narcotic pain pills).
I'm proud of you.
Danielle
I got out of the plane at the last minute because I was scared.... and, when the "training" was done, I realized everyone inside had burned up (including my niece, whom her mom had said she could stay inside with me)...... Come to find out, the police were rounding up anyone with a pain pill addiction and anyone on suboxone and were killing them on purpose, to rid the world of pill addicts.
Each time a new group of people would get in, I would scream and try to warn them.... then my son would run close to the "plane" and when I would finally get him away, my 2 dogs would run over there..... I would be screaming and crying, trying to get my dogs to come back, and would get them away right as the next explosion happened. This went on all night; I would wake up crying, then would go back to the same dream as soon as I fell asleep again.
And you all wonder why I take Ambien.... LOL..... This is what I go through when I don't....
Tom, you did the right thing today, taking your wife with you to the ER. When I first got sober, I posted that I was worried about the same thing - if I had surgery or broke a bone or something, how would I take pain pills "as prescribed" and not get addicted to them (if I have another baby, I'll have to have a C-section again and won't have a choice as to whether or not I take narcotic pain pills).
I'm proud of you.
Danielle
Thanks Frank, Its not as swollen as you would think, strange, when it happened I thought " there goes that finger",, but it seems ok (I am typing with it even)
Danni,
Some day when I have the time and energy, we got to talk dreams,,, I have some dooozies sometimes, like my house was filled with 5 foot long white lab rats , but they were all wearing blue t-shirts... yep had that one..... But I have never had a dream about drugs before, I just thought it odd.
Best Regards,
Tom
Danni,
Some day when I have the time and energy, we got to talk dreams,,, I have some dooozies sometimes, like my house was filled with 5 foot long white lab rats , but they were all wearing blue t-shirts... yep had that one..... But I have never had a dream about drugs before, I just thought it odd.
Best Regards,
Tom
Tom ouch,,, I know that had to hurt like Frank said it makes my thumb hurt just reading that... Keep an eye on that it seems like it takes forever for an injury on the hand to heal maybe because we use our hands so much.. I am so proud of you for passing that little test.. that showed real strength., strength that I hope i will have one day..
Wow! Tom, I'm PO'd that you waited that long at the hospital - that's terrible.
Dani, what a dream. I've noticed my dreams are more vivid (maybe I can just remember them for the first time in years) since I quit using.
Hi Frank - how ya doin?
Dani, what a dream. I've noticed my dreams are more vivid (maybe I can just remember them for the first time in years) since I quit using.
Hi Frank - how ya doin?
Tom & Betsy.... whenever you want to start a post about dreams, just let me know (or we can do it in private email). My therapist wants me to start writing them down anyway, because he thinks what's happening is that I always numbed my emotions before.... When things got rough, I self-medicated.... and now that I'm not doing that, I'm forced to deal with what's going on in my life...... these issues are in my subconscious and come out in the form of dreams.
How yuppie like..... I start every post with "My therapist says...." Someone shoot me now.... LOL
My dreams are usually about death..... I've been having them since I was a little girl and they make me afraid to go to sleep. Last week, I dreamt that my son was in the bottom of a lake and I could see him, I KNEW he was down there and he was dead... but I kept telling myself "If you don't get him out, if you don't look at him, then you can pretend this never happened. If you don't go in the lake, then you can pretend this isn't real, that he ran away and he's still alive."
This was very telling of ME.... First of all, I'm very afraid of water. Second, Freud always said that the subconscious was like dark water and I remember the lake being so dark that I could only see my son's outline.
Third, I ALWAYS run away from my problems.... This is the first time in my life I've ever faced anything. Ex: Once in 2000 I had my husband (then boyfriend) and another boyfriend arguing about me in a room, having "the" conversation about what was going on with the three of us... and I ran out of a back door and didn't come back until the next day. So for me to dream and think "If you don't face it, then it's not real," well, that's ME.
Fourth, my therapist says that my dreams are often about trying to protect my son, but maybe it's more about protecting a CHILD...... I often tell him that I resent my parents in a way for not protecting me as a child and perhaps the innocent life that I'm trying to save is myself.
Okay, it's official.... I over-analyze everything.
Danielle
How yuppie like..... I start every post with "My therapist says...." Someone shoot me now.... LOL
My dreams are usually about death..... I've been having them since I was a little girl and they make me afraid to go to sleep. Last week, I dreamt that my son was in the bottom of a lake and I could see him, I KNEW he was down there and he was dead... but I kept telling myself "If you don't get him out, if you don't look at him, then you can pretend this never happened. If you don't go in the lake, then you can pretend this isn't real, that he ran away and he's still alive."
This was very telling of ME.... First of all, I'm very afraid of water. Second, Freud always said that the subconscious was like dark water and I remember the lake being so dark that I could only see my son's outline.
Third, I ALWAYS run away from my problems.... This is the first time in my life I've ever faced anything. Ex: Once in 2000 I had my husband (then boyfriend) and another boyfriend arguing about me in a room, having "the" conversation about what was going on with the three of us... and I ran out of a back door and didn't come back until the next day. So for me to dream and think "If you don't face it, then it's not real," well, that's ME.
Fourth, my therapist says that my dreams are often about trying to protect my son, but maybe it's more about protecting a CHILD...... I often tell him that I resent my parents in a way for not protecting me as a child and perhaps the innocent life that I'm trying to save is myself.
Okay, it's official.... I over-analyze everything.
Danielle
Don't mind the over-analyzing...I think it's fascinating. I really didn't remember dreaming at all when I was using. Maybe I never got any real REM sleep; I know I was tired all the time, even after sleeping all night through.
I used to have dreams of flying as a kid; I still remember them vividly. I LOVED that feeling, and I always wished I could fly for real. Just like swimming in the air!
I used to have dreams of flying as a kid; I still remember them vividly. I LOVED that feeling, and I always wished I could fly for real. Just like swimming in the air!
Haven't had a flying dream in a while...... used to have a bunch of "falling" dreams as a kid.... I would be falling from a building and my stomach would get that feeling like it does on roller coasters... and then I'd wake up right before I hit the ground.
(My mom always said that if you actually hit the ground in your dream, you'd die...... another one of her "Old Wives' Tale"..... just like she always said going outside with a wet head would make you sick - not true- or things like that)
(My mom always said that if you actually hit the ground in your dream, you'd die...... another one of her "Old Wives' Tale"..... just like she always said going outside with a wet head would make you sick - not true- or things like that)
Danni,
I think it makes sense, and I agree with Betsy, it is interesting. I had horrible nightmares when I was using, you know the kind you get up and turn the light on and say ...whew thank god that was a dream. Now they are very seldom. But if I eat pickles or a peanut butter sandwich before bed,,, forget it, here come the pink elephants on parade,,lol
Regards,
Tom
Danni, me too, falling or cant run when being chased
I think it makes sense, and I agree with Betsy, it is interesting. I had horrible nightmares when I was using, you know the kind you get up and turn the light on and say ...whew thank god that was a dream. Now they are very seldom. But if I eat pickles or a peanut butter sandwich before bed,,, forget it, here come the pink elephants on parade,,lol
Regards,
Tom
Danni, me too, falling or cant run when being chased
Tom, if I see your rats in blue T-shirts tonight, I'm gonna lose it!
Lately I've been >JOLTED< awake just as I'm almost asleep. Then I'm feaked out and my heart races. My body is saying "HEY! Where are all the drugs!"
Lately I've been >JOLTED< awake just as I'm almost asleep. Then I'm feaked out and my heart races. My body is saying "HEY! Where are all the drugs!"
I have had dreams about drugs quite often whenever I ran out. Not always doing them, a lot of times I would wake up just before doing them. always weird! dreams. then feel mad or sad and ultimately stupid when waking up.
I have had dreams of the police driving up while I was getting my pills from my dealer. I use to call her my friend but not anymore. I haven't had them in a while.
Paula
Good job on finding that meeting. I'm going tomorrow as well. I said before I am kinda nervous and excited at the same time.
Frank
Hi everyone... Thank you Frank, Let me know how you meeting turns out as well..
How was your day Paula ? I think its at 7:30 . I just hope I can sit and observe until I'm ready to share. Does anyone know if they make you stand up and talk.
Frank
Betsy, you are having what's called "nocturnal panic attacks".....
I never had using dreams when I was using.... I always had them after I had gotten clean....
I remember once having a dream that a man and 2 young teen boys knocked on our door at 3 o'clock in the morning..... My husband, who, trust me, could literally kill anyone if he had to, opens the door and is actually SCARED when the guys barge in. The man holds a knife on my husband and the 12 yr old is holding a knife on me and the three of them are demanding Vicodin. I'm trying to tell them that we don't have any in the house and they're getting frantic.....
I'm bigger than the 12 yr old (now you know it's a dream) and I have a black belt in karate (in my dream AND in real life), so I know I can get away from this kid. My husband is screaming "Take the baby and run!" and I can't make myself leave him there in trouble (this dream is also weird because my husband actually works as a security consultant and trains companies & other countries anti-terrorist tactics, so he wouldn't be scared of a junkie and his wimpy kids).
Finally, I run out of the door, but I get across the street and realize I've left the dogs inside..... So I stand there screaming for the dogs... and the 12 yr old is threatening to kill them if I don't give him pain pills. I know I should take my son and run, but I can't leave my dogs in the house (they are my kids, too) and I'm scared to leave my husband.
Then I wake up.
No wonder I did drugs..... I'm crazy, even in my sleep.
Danni
I never had using dreams when I was using.... I always had them after I had gotten clean....
I remember once having a dream that a man and 2 young teen boys knocked on our door at 3 o'clock in the morning..... My husband, who, trust me, could literally kill anyone if he had to, opens the door and is actually SCARED when the guys barge in. The man holds a knife on my husband and the 12 yr old is holding a knife on me and the three of them are demanding Vicodin. I'm trying to tell them that we don't have any in the house and they're getting frantic.....
I'm bigger than the 12 yr old (now you know it's a dream) and I have a black belt in karate (in my dream AND in real life), so I know I can get away from this kid. My husband is screaming "Take the baby and run!" and I can't make myself leave him there in trouble (this dream is also weird because my husband actually works as a security consultant and trains companies & other countries anti-terrorist tactics, so he wouldn't be scared of a junkie and his wimpy kids).
Finally, I run out of the door, but I get across the street and realize I've left the dogs inside..... So I stand there screaming for the dogs... and the 12 yr old is threatening to kill them if I don't give him pain pills. I know I should take my son and run, but I can't leave my dogs in the house (they are my kids, too) and I'm scared to leave my husband.
Then I wake up.
No wonder I did drugs..... I'm crazy, even in my sleep.
Danni
Danni
Have you seen a doctor about this ???? ..Just kidding. I have a lot of dreams where I'm trying to get away from someone and I can't move my feet.
Frank
Betsy, I was told by my doc that while on opiates you dont get deep sleep, thats why I was always tired even if I slept 10 hours, Im not sure if its the same with fiorinal but it sounds it.
When I first quit drugs I used to jolt awake just like your saying, it happened for a couple weeks or so.
JohnDee
When I first quit drugs I used to jolt awake just like your saying, it happened for a couple weeks or so.
JohnDee
Frank..sorry I am the one that is slow tonight. My day was ok only worked a half a day today.. I dont think that they make you talk at all unless you want to.. My meeting is at 8, what is the time difference where your at compared to where I am at?
Paula
What time is it now and I'll tell you.
Frank
