Does anyone find not drinking to be the most boring thing in the world when they first quit?? I'm struggling to keep busy... and I keep thinking about how much fun it is to be drunk... but also the complete misery of me when I am. I'm a horror. Even my music is making me bored and that never happens... but I usually have a drink when I'm listening to it... I'm cracking up here! I don't really have any friends because I've been ill for so long... I can't bear too much company before I start to get upset... I have to take 650mg of Seroquel a day just to keep me managing with things... I have to take 200mg in the morning to keep me subdued enough to function... I wish I was normal... like my old mates from school... I see them out and about with their boyfriends and families and I can't even bear to be touched it makes me cringe... I feel like such a waster... alcoholic by 19... I'll be 21 next month... and I want to get clean... get my dependance on this poison under control... I want a life.
Hi there Izzy. Oh love your post so touched my heart this morning. All I can really say is one day at a time, I know it's so cliche' but it really is the truth, isn't being sober great when you wake up without being hungover? or remembering everything you did the night before? In my early days of recovery I really had to try and find pleasure in the "little" things, like taking in the sunrise, or sunset, listening to the songbirds,spending time in nature, things that really sooth your soul, and speak to you. Another thing that helped is to try not to think about what is wrong in your life, but try and focus on what is right,try and find one thing that you are grateful for, each day and soon you will see that you will recognize the good in your life. As the saying goes "This to shall pass" and if you find you are struggling keep a journal or find a really good counsellor, AA meeting, and of course we are here to be your sounding board as well. Take care of yourself, and do something nice for you today!!
Big Hugs and Love
lovedove
Big Hugs and Love
lovedove
Izzy, Are you housebound? If not, perhaps you could join in a church group, or a 12 step program fellowship, maybe even take a class at your local adult school to get started. You are very young...I'm glad you're getting sober early on...hang in there, for me the longer I stayed sober the busier I became...not that I wasn't super busy before, but I actually have a purposeful life now.
Thanks for the encouragement love-dove. VWGirl... because of my condition BPD I find company only tolerable at the best of times... My psych is starting me on a program to help me get out of the house a bit more and build my confidence... so I want to do that first with someone who understands me... whereas at church (I know a lot of the people there as my mum goes every week and plays piano for them) A lot of the people there are not the right sort for me to be mixing with at the moment... it's a long story but there is a lot of conflict there just now. Besides that I hate talking about myself coz I feel like a failure.... I've never met anyone who has a drink problem as young as me... I feel like a freak and people who know look at me strange... They don't understand... and nor do they wish to... as far as they're concerned I'm just something else for them to gossip about. And I wont put myself through that. I got out of school because of that...
You remind me a little bit of the young girl I am sponsoring, she is 25 years old and is BPD too. One thing I want to say is you are not a failure. Also, there are plenty of young people getting sober, there's a guy that attends the meetings I go to who got sober at 17 and has been sober for almost 4 years...my friend's son got sober at 14 and is now 21, 7 years of sobriety...my sister got sober in her early twenties...hopefully, your situation will improve.
I'm in the UK and where I live there seems to be no help readily available. I'm scratching around in the dark looking for something to help me but I'm having to seek it all out for myself... I see a Psychiatrist but she's not very forthcoming with information to get me on the right track... sometimes I just don't know what to do??? I don't know if we have such things as sponsors here... the only time I became aware of that was watching Desperate Housewives...
I'm sure I'll find the right thing in time... it's just frustrating not drinking.. feeling good about that... but picking up again coz I can't resist the temptation although my periods dry are getting longer and longer between drinks. AND I don't drink so much when I do pick up.
I bought my dad a bottle of Whisky as a thank you for helping me with a big task... it sat there for 3 weeks and I never felt tempted once! A year ago I would have replaced that bottle 3 maybe 4 times over. So I think that is progress albeit small progress...
Thanks for listening to me going on... but you're all so kind and non judgemental... you make me feel a little more normal...
Love X
I'm sure I'll find the right thing in time... it's just frustrating not drinking.. feeling good about that... but picking up again coz I can't resist the temptation although my periods dry are getting longer and longer between drinks. AND I don't drink so much when I do pick up.
I bought my dad a bottle of Whisky as a thank you for helping me with a big task... it sat there for 3 weeks and I never felt tempted once! A year ago I would have replaced that bottle 3 maybe 4 times over. So I think that is progress albeit small progress...
Thanks for listening to me going on... but you're all so kind and non judgemental... you make me feel a little more normal...
Love X
Hi Izzy
boy can I relate. Boredom is a HUGE trigger for me. Can I just say this. You are lucky to be realising your problems at such a young age.
If people are too much for you right now try walking. Just walk anywhere and everywhere, get to a park or coastal area if you can, if not just walk the streets. Really focus on the scenery if you see a tree or flower that catches your eye really stop and look at it, appreciate every little thing about it.
I was feeling pretty antsy myself this morning so I went down to the beach and walked a little and then meditated, it really does help.
Walk walk walk.
take care
Idgie
boy can I relate. Boredom is a HUGE trigger for me. Can I just say this. You are lucky to be realising your problems at such a young age.
If people are too much for you right now try walking. Just walk anywhere and everywhere, get to a park or coastal area if you can, if not just walk the streets. Really focus on the scenery if you see a tree or flower that catches your eye really stop and look at it, appreciate every little thing about it.
I was feeling pretty antsy myself this morning so I went down to the beach and walked a little and then meditated, it really does help.
Walk walk walk.
take care
Idgie
Great posts Idgie, LD, & VW... good to see you ladies.
Izzy - I can totally relate sweetie. Like you & Idgie, boredom is one of my biggest triggers, I've been dry almost 2 weeks and have struggled mightily with the boredom issue. (Hunger is also a big trigger, when I drink I tend not to eat so I'll get drunk faster, so hunger pangs always make me think "ooh, time for a drink!") I've been unpacking (Yep, I know, it's been 2 weeks since I moved and I'm still not finished, I hate unpacking!), so that's helped, and also have been spending more time with my pets. Exercise helps too, the endorphins released by exercise can give a natural high - I have a friend who gave up cocaine by spending all her free time hiking, the natural high replaced the coke high for her. And she got into killer shape at the same time! I'll have to give up my smokes if I want to become a mountain goat like she is though.
Also Izzy - please, DO NOT think that you are a "freak" just because you are young and alcoholic. I have met so many young people with serious substance issues, some as young as 13 or 14. One girl I met was addicted to crystal meth at 12. You are NOT alone, and it's great that you've discovered and accepted the issue at such a young age - you have so much life ahead of you and the opportunity to live it sober. I hope you'll keep posting, we're always willing to listen and support. Keep up the fight honey...
Izzy - I can totally relate sweetie. Like you & Idgie, boredom is one of my biggest triggers, I've been dry almost 2 weeks and have struggled mightily with the boredom issue. (Hunger is also a big trigger, when I drink I tend not to eat so I'll get drunk faster, so hunger pangs always make me think "ooh, time for a drink!") I've been unpacking (Yep, I know, it's been 2 weeks since I moved and I'm still not finished, I hate unpacking!), so that's helped, and also have been spending more time with my pets. Exercise helps too, the endorphins released by exercise can give a natural high - I have a friend who gave up cocaine by spending all her free time hiking, the natural high replaced the coke high for her. And she got into killer shape at the same time! I'll have to give up my smokes if I want to become a mountain goat like she is though.
Also Izzy - please, DO NOT think that you are a "freak" just because you are young and alcoholic. I have met so many young people with serious substance issues, some as young as 13 or 14. One girl I met was addicted to crystal meth at 12. You are NOT alone, and it's great that you've discovered and accepted the issue at such a young age - you have so much life ahead of you and the opportunity to live it sober. I hope you'll keep posting, we're always willing to listen and support. Keep up the fight honey...
Hi there. Fascinating what you said about not eating when you drink. I do that too when I drink I never eat properly. I haven't picked up for another 2 days and had a stressful moment this afternoon when I realised we needed bread and that meant going to the shop. I let my mum know how I was feeling and she went instead. I usually do the shopping so I can buy drink but I'm getting help now.
Instead of living in a dusty room I got off my backside and cleaned and dusted and that makes me feel a bit better. My surroundings aren't depressing now. I groomed the dog and he's all clean and fresh and smart... and much happier. I'd let him get into a right state matts and tangles (he's a Mini Schnauzer)
Am feeling ok about stuff at the moment.. going away for a bit next week...
Thanks all XX
Instead of living in a dusty room I got off my backside and cleaned and dusted and that makes me feel a bit better. My surroundings aren't depressing now. I groomed the dog and he's all clean and fresh and smart... and much happier. I'd let him get into a right state matts and tangles (he's a Mini Schnauzer)
Am feeling ok about stuff at the moment.. going away for a bit next week...
Thanks all XX
Izzy,
Definately boredum is a major problem with me too. I keep waiting for the good times to roll without drinking? It's been almost 10 months for me and I am still bored as hell! I do all kinds of things to keep busy but it is never as fun as when I was hammered! Sorry to not give any good advice..just wanted you to know that I do share your dilema. Keep your chin up you are doing great!
Peace and Sobriety,
Valarie
Definately boredum is a major problem with me too. I keep waiting for the good times to roll without drinking? It's been almost 10 months for me and I am still bored as hell! I do all kinds of things to keep busy but it is never as fun as when I was hammered! Sorry to not give any good advice..just wanted you to know that I do share your dilema. Keep your chin up you are doing great!
Peace and Sobriety,
Valarie
For those of you who are bored perhaps you can take on some of my life for me - LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Valarie, since you are close can I drop my 15 year old off with you for a while, you're near the Wedge in Newport Beach right? She'd love to stay with you, she only requires to be dropped off at the beach at 6:00 am if the surf is good, give her about $5.00 for breakfast, pick her drive her here and there, take her to a friend's house, she'll ask to go to a Punk show (what we would call a concert, more $$) then you'll hear from her again around 10:00 pm to be picked up from a friend's house....I'm cracking myself up! I do not know how I drank honestly I have so much going on all the time, I guess nothing ever got done...how the hell do I know though I went from one black out to another - too much, lol!!!!!!!!
Hi Valarie. I can only wish for 10 months sobriety. My sis wants to take me out drinking for my 21st next month. She doesn't seem to understand It's such a problem for me. Not to mention I get really dopey if I drink with my anti psychotics. I don't want to see a lot of the people I used to drink with and a few men in particular I used to go home with when I was pissed who come looking for me coz I'm such a 'good time'. It makes me sick now to think I used to do that.
This is day 3... again. I keep relapsing but I try to start again straight away instead of drinking again for a few days.
Wish me luck!
Izzy X
This is day 3... again. I keep relapsing but I try to start again straight away instead of drinking again for a few days.
Wish me luck!
Izzy X
I don't understand. If drinking was so much fun, if being drunk made you a happier person, why did you quit? I quit because the booze made me do things I didn't want to do and go places I didn't want to go. I was depressed, anxious, lonely, and full of self pity. It wasn't fun any more for me. There's a saying in AA, "my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk" and it's true for me. So if you think you are so bored sober, think back to why you quit. That life is still there waiting for you. Give it another try. We'll be here when it kicks your a** again.
lovin ya's
lovin ya's
I don't recall saying my life drinking was fun? I am trying to paint a picture of what MY experiences are. Being a 'good time' is not 'fun'. I was degrading myself... if you don't have anything constructive to say. Don't talk to me. Plain as.
As for encouraging me to drink again? Don't you have any idea of what's it's like??
If you're the type of person to post here I don't think I need to be around statements like yours... I'm working to recovery albeit a slow progress. You know f*** all about me.
Izzy
As for encouraging me to drink again? Don't you have any idea of what's it's like??
If you're the type of person to post here I don't think I need to be around statements like yours... I'm working to recovery albeit a slow progress. You know f*** all about me.
Izzy
