Tropical1,
I am soooo glad to hear it is working for you. Boy I sure did ruffle some feathers (which obviously is relatively easy to do around here Ha!) by pointing out some things for new NA'ers to be aware of. Such as, getting numbers from the court ordered folks that are there because they have to be, with no intentions of being clean. In the scheme of things though, if one isn't willing to quit it doesn't matter if you put them in a crack house or a church, they aren't going to quit. And Vice-Versa. I was thinking you may be younger..... early 20's? Weird how we construe images of what we think others look like online, huh. Let me know about any other meetings you attend. I started this post so it would be easier to keep up with you. Got my eye on you girl! *wink* Did you notice you and I started our recovery on the same day? I just noticed it when I read your post. Woooooooooo, what is this? Do I sense I good mood this morning ack! It seems after you crawl through and over hell the clouds part and although addiction sucks it becomes barable and before I knew it I am now smiling and playing around again. You have it kinda harder, I suppose. If there is such a thing as harder when it comes to one form of addiction or another. You are completely clean, not taking a single pill. I can't do that on my meds because they are benzos. I am doing the Ashton Manual and it is a pure godsend. I can only be proud I haven't cheated by taking my meds in a larger amount or at a different time. It will be many weeks before I can be proud of not using at all. Close to 25 weeks, I believe. I don't know the plan by heart but I do have the dosage schedule down pat ha! Wouldn't ya know it. And by the way, I am glad that you took my post for what is was.... a warning of potential dangers to newcomers at any form of addiction recovery. Rather than an attack on you and your plan for recovery... or on NA meetings in and of themselves. One tends to feel the need to make others aware especially when you can drive by the church up the street around meeting time and watch people use in their car right before going into a meeting. But with your experience with your ex, I know you realize that everyone there may not be a good person to reach out to. Then again, at your meeting place there may not be a single person in that room that still uses. Do what you do girl! Work it Momma! We all have to plan our work and work our plan. As all of our addictions are different, so are our means to end them. Big hugs... and kisses too if you're a hottie ha! Ew, I don't know about this good mood stuff. I don't think I have felt a mood in over a year. A good mood is almost like a high in itself. No wonder happy people grin all the time.... they are high as hell off of life. One day soon, you and I will be too!
Carol, Just read your post on Oneill's thread.......WOW! You sound so positive and focused.........good for you!
I laughed about the blouse returning and 2 hours in bed, I went through the same thing.....any little chore was impossible. But at 120 days, I can make it through several missions a day now, when I want, and feel great without a nap! You will get there, I am sure of it!
Good luck tomorrow with the new job if I don't talk to you! : )
hi kaela, i am happy to hear you are feeling better today, good moods rock man!! no i am not in my early 20's more like early 40's!! check this out kaela i went shopping yesterday and bumped into a sober person who has been a good friend and they stated they saw my ex a week ago in this ghetto bar 2 blocks from my house and when i saw this fool 3 weeks ago, he was stating that he got a apartment in fresno cali and we are in oregon and i am like right dude. when this person told me that i started laughing, becuz i KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT this fool was creepin around here. oh he was so high when i saw him and he said he was buying a car the next day, wrong yellow taxi knows his first name, he still has no license at 40!! oh he was bragging about collecting work comp, however he was on unemployment for almost a year and for a fact didnt get hurt, so he may be dealing. i thinking he doesnt want me to know he is around becuz he owes me so much money and he knows i will not tolerate any drugs or alcohol around me. and me being clean for 9 days, my thinking is so different now, its like i dont even care if he is around, the obsessive thinking about him has been removed, and my recovery my state of mind is what i am working on. it was a trip going to that meeting and meet his prison using buddies back in the day but to see them clean was truly inspirational, all i know is if you want something bad enough and are willing to do whatever it takes it can be yours, maybe not today but it will happen. so kaela thanks for posting to me and you are doing great!!
take care
carol
take care
carol
That lil devil is chasing you literally haha. Sounds like 'your man' was ashamed of the fact he was doing no bettter (probably worse) than when ya'll were together. Man, us users... we sure can make up elaborate stories to make others believe what we want them too, huh. And if we are far enough gone, we believe half off the pure s*** that flows from our mouths. I bet you felt a lot of power walking away from him knowing you are getting better and he is just lying to himself. To me, and Imma new-be but no idiot, I would say he is probably your most likely reason you would fail. ALTHOUGH WE KNOW YOU AREN'T. So I would stay away from him. When I got to missing his sorry butt just think of him and his sickness fermenting in a nasty bar somewhere and him staggering to a taxi spending the last 10 bux he has on a ride home because he isn't worthy of the privalage of driving hehe. That should make you sleep cozy! But, Im partial.... I like you and I don't like him. You are trying and he isn't so no pity here. Although I should probably pray more for those that haven't made steps to become clean rather than focusing on people who are. They are sick too, not just people in recovery. You seem very stong right now, I feel that way too. Scary though because I feel like tomorrow I may not be so strong. Then I realized that's what people mean by a day at a time. As our heads get clearer I am realizing I was only running on 70% brain power, tops. I have even noticed stuff in the house we have had for months and I never even noticed it. I know this is going to be a little weird but: I am really starting to dig how it feels to be aware. I am lucky, I have the luxury of taking a nap during the day, which I just woke up from so hoping this is making atleast some sense. I have 4 kids and my husband works at home. He is super dad. He basically does everything for us, hand and foot. I don't know why he is like that and I have asked him and he just says his ex never did anything so it is what he is use to. I might make myself something to drink and shower, other than that I am waited on hand and foot, as are the kids. Jokingly he says "pretty girls and cute kids are suppose to be happy with not a care in the world". I went from scrathing through life to this and I must say, this is much much better. I worry though if I have been spoiled, ruined, and if ever left to do for myself again if I would still have that pit bull approach that got me this far. Just some thoughts. Use me as a journal too if you like haha.
