Trying To Help My Bf Has Made Me Suicidal

he wants to stop and i try to be there for him but the stresses from the past 1/2 yr has taken its toll on me. i almost did it lst night. help
Hi Spinning,

I'll try to be as clear as possible because it seems that time is of essence. You need to be there for YOU, not him. I'm usually not so blunt, but you need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. Don't wait another day. Is there anywhere you can go tonight?

I'm sorry to hear of your despair... Things will get better as soon as this burden is lifted. It is up to you to decide when you want that to start. The sooner, the better!

Good luck & God Bless!
JC
HI Spinning

I'm new to this website because my boyfriend is addicted to cocaine and alcohol but I am not new to the disease of depression and suicide. I want you to read this line very careful YOU NEED TO FIND A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU TO BE TONIGHT. You can not help anyone unless you are healthy mentally and physically. I agree with lostsoul you need to walk away from him. I know it sounds easier than it really is I'm not going to sugar coat that for you. BUT YOU HAVE TO WALK AWAY IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. He has chosen his path and there is nothing you can do about it. He has to do it for himself. As the saying goes the blind can not lead the blind. PLEASE PLEASE FIND A SAFE PLACE FOR YOURSELF AND MAKE SURE HE IS NOT ALLOWED UNTIL YOU ARE STRONG AND READY. My grandmother use to say to me all the time " just because you love a person it does not mean you have to sacrifice your self being to make them happy. Just because we love them doesn't mean you have to be with them." Maybe he needs for you to walk away for him to get better because there is no one else to depend on but himself. I pray for you to get help, I have been in the similar boat of suicide and you don't hurt only yourself but your family and those who TRULY LOVE YOU AND TRULY CARE FOR YOU.
Spinning,

I'm going through the same thing as you as you have probably noticed from my posts, and I used to let his addiction get to me, but I've recently decided that if he wants to go down, he's not taking me down with him anymore! Don't let your boyfriend take you down with him! Their addictions not only ruin their lives but ours as well, but just like they have the choice to do something about it, so do WE! We don't have to sit by and watch anymore, I'm not. Ya I'm still with him, and I've been with him through all this, but instead of letting myself get depressed, I just decided whatever, he wants to do crack, he can do it at his moms..not here. I refuse to watch him on it. If he comes over on it, then I make him leave.
If he pulls disappearing acts, I don't sit and wait for his calls, I go out and try not to think about it. And it has helped! I'm pulling myself up again, because he took me down with him to the point that last December I was doing speed because it helped me take my mind off it! I caught myself in time and decided not to let him do this to me anymore and you need to try to do that too. If he's doing coke, get away from him and tell him to call you when he's clean. Its hard, I have a hard time with it but I feel so much stronger for doing it.
And because of it he overdosed and tried to blame me! I told him he overdosed because HE was doing crack, not because of me, not because I wouldn't talk to him or see him!
None of this is your fault at all...you need to break free from this! If you don't want to leave him, (because I didn't leave mine), then do what I told you..it worked for me. Good luck...I know you can do it...and NO ONE especially not a drug addict is worth being suicidal over..do you think he would do the same thing for you? Nope, because the drug is their number one love...I learned that the hard way, you can't compete...
Everyone is completely right. Canitazz's grandmother was a very wise woman. What she said really hit home.
I tried very hard to help a boyfriend who was an addict and had very serious self esteem issues. I tried and tried, but I had to leave because he was affecting my self esteem and was very verbally abusive. I actually still sometimes feel guilty to this day that I couldn't help him (isn't that sad?), but it's true that you have to take care of yourself before you can help someone else. You need to figure out what's right for you instead of focusing on him, and hopefully one day you can be in a two-sided relationship.
Good Luck,
Jen