HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't wanna say this to anyone..........and Tres is at work.........PARENTING!
This is still going on with my daughter.........I've been in therapy and I am learning so much..............it comes to be I should ignore this kid........because she keeps calloing cause she wants something.............it's texts and calls......can I have this of mine and that of mine.........it's all been recent after TEN MONTHS of her walking out this door.........I been chill and calm.......I let her ask for her stuff.........she can have anything she wants.......and she's blatantly nasty, ignorant and mean........I can handle that, BUT she hasn't even asked how my mom is.........my brother had open heart surgery.......I mentioned that.........the other day I said he was sick when she called, and she said AGAIN??????????????? My brothers both of them have been nothing but overly generous with time, money and lending a shoulder or an ear.
How about MY grandmom..........nope........I mean come on the 82 year old woman used to take a bus twice a week just to see you.......still I said nothing.
Well I had it.........texted me on Friday..............woke me up at like 1:30AM.....did I get her games together for her..........I texted back.........she texted back........things were fine when suddenly nothing........NOW I am thinking did she get hurt, where is she, is she in her dorm, I tried her a few more times..........NOTHING.........the next morning I see her calls on there......guess what I ain't needing a heart attack.......I left a message I would NOT be here but to call me on Tuesday or I would call her and I'd bring her stuff down to school to her or meet her or whatever...........don't this cell go off over and over and over again? TONIGHT. I'm ignoring it like I learned at therapy....that this no matter what is somebody treating me rotten and only want something...........ignore it........don't react..........she's expecting you to react.........and ya haven't been like ya used to.........nothing changes if nothing changes.............that's right.
So, being a mom I wonder is she at school, stuck on the subway, attacked?
I go to her mysapce which I don't look at anymore ever........even Tres had to tell me she cut off all her hair..........I don't look........well I look worried and it says DEPRESSED..........VERY DEPRESSED........come on what is a mom to do? Plus she put up a really OLD picture of herself.
I call.........she answers..........she wants her stuff.........O.K. so I say "Look it's been months and I'm hoping you would speak to me"..........WHY you kicked me out...........NO I did not..........she left............yeah there was a fight and I did flip out and freaked..........however I did not tell her to LEAVE...........she says "Why would I want to stay there?".......O.K. got that.........I'm calm.......well I am the reason for everything wrong in her life.........AND she don't care about the drugs...........the drugs ain't it.........me flipping out on everyone was it.............I get that.........my mom used to flip out on me too....I'd have loved to walk out, BUT guess what.............it's my mom and she was my greatest ally in my life..............I forgave her..........she forgave me.
So, O.K. ya can't forgive, BUT don't she say too........."Well the other night when I texted well I couldn't understand what ya said and I was kind of messed up.............of course i say like what drunk, high????????? Well ummm, never mind she says.............why'd ya mention it.
I left it like this I love you...........I'm here for you...........meantime like her whole life she had to quit work cause while on vacation a guy from work was calling every half hour in the AM saying vile things.............threatening her........don't come back to work................everyone hates your guts...........AND it ruined everyones vacation.............this is her dad's family...........I felt like saying NOW see..........I was the over reacting person..............SEVENTEEN YEARS you lived with us..............that's been ten months minus the last almost month at school..............NOW your dad is put out............oh yeah he was funing and flipping out............NO JOKE............I lived with ya coming home late.......trying to get in a car with five guys.............all that stuff........but now he gets it.
Here's the biggie..........I called back again to ask about a particular game.......then it all went bad...........it's MY fault her grandfather don't feel like he does about her like his other grandchildren.........WHAT.......I kept her from him.........no, I thought it frightening he gives little girsl baths, BUT that's it.....nothing else..............and he's bombed doing it..............and nobody stops him.............would he hurt ya I don't know.
So, me being raped as a kid effects the world............it does..........I am so freaking sorry..........I was trying to protect her..........and I know we got single dad's here who comb hair, take the kids to school, mother and father.......my own dad was that way.............the kids and grandkids were his LIFE.....but this man was drunk and ONLY gave baths.............sue me, hate me.
So, I explained that she was that to my dad and more and even my nephews didn't even get close to that and he adored them...........yeah, my dad dropped dead on Christmas morning on her........well on me and my mom and brothers too and yeah he was the anchor.............I am sorry about that...........but again she was blaming me.
O.K. therapy.............I was doing great through months of her stinginess, and actually she called me an Fing b****..........so be it...........whatever, BUT
she then said "What does Pop being dead have to do with this? My dad took me in"...............he's your damn DAD...........you lived with my parents and I for SEVENTEEN YEARS................he took you in.........he's your dad.
She says "You're a mother Fing b****"...........I did I said it..........guess what I'm gone to speak the truth...........Guess what your grandfather always took that grandchild A as his favorite. Plain and simple. Look at B, and C does he treat them the same?"..........I lived with them people looooong before she was born............he has a favorite..............so guess what ya could have lived there your whole life, and it wouldn't change that A is his favorite".
Well, she screamed "I hate you, hate you you lousy mother Fing b****."..........and hung up...............honest to God I feel like calling back and saying...........chalk me up with boyfriend A, B, C, D............who won't even look at ya..............and every girlfriend ya ever had who hates your guts..........and yes, I know they said you are a self-centered........needy, condescending, cynical beotch.
I hate this.............my heart has already been ripped out............man, my mom freakedout on me many times.............it's my mom.............and guess what there's women I know what they did with and to their kids while high.......guess what.............BAD.............it's no excuse, BUT I can't help thinking their kids STILL love them and have respect for them.............if i freaking OD'd this kid would be thrilled............only then who would she blame?
WHO?
WHO????????????????????????????????????????????
18 years old don't give ya no damn license to walk over people and treat them like garbage cause you're angry at the world............man, I so tried.
Bryn i think they call 18 the age of indifferance...they only care for themselves...complete blinkered vision in a selfish way....as yer daughter seems to be ...but you know shes a big girl...or trying to be....so let her be ignorant and make her stupid lil f***ups herself ...do you really need a ringside seat ...nope youve done yer best ..how much more could someone ask...your a selfless,honest,unique..person and im lucky to have you as a freind...so i hate you tearing yerself up over that young lady.If it makes ya feel any better me and Sian had a major row dis afternoon...bout her mum and contact ..which Siano dont really want ....man did that kid beg and cry so i relented and said she will only see her mum if she wants...but now ive got her biotch of a mother to deal with....cant please anyone it seems ....you know where ima coming from ...Bryn.
Take good care o.k....love ya ........Davey
Take good care o.k....love ya ........Davey
Bryn wish i was able to say something to help but i've not got the right words sometimes. Thinking of you and your family. How are you Mom and your Bro now? Take care, Kev
You're my boys.........my crew.....my posse.
After being called a white trash, low life, scumbag today........by my ex husband..........it did a girl good to hear you guys support me.
Thanks guys.
Davey, Ohhhhhhh Davey.........Sian should only have to be concerned with school and playing and swimming and dolls, and Punch.
I wish we could bridge continents, Davey.
Meanwhile it was all on the burner........my ex husband drove by with a moving van........my daughter was NOT at school.............she's with some guy......that's who she wants the Playstation games for.........my mama didn't raise no fool........that was a set up........I ain't gone down without a fight....well yeah I ain't fighting like I used to.
He called me them names I said "O.k. thanks then, buh bye".
Rang the phone off the hook...........I ain't reacting anymore.
Oh and my daughter I ruined her day, her life, I'm a lousy B*tCH and all that got her was caught in a hundred lies.........not my bad.
She's an adult..........I had to hear that for the last three years.....a countdown.
Davey hit the nail on the head........as they say here......"I GROWN"
That means you are all grown up and know what you are doing......she has to learn the hard way............and don't blame no Irish genes on that! LOL
That's the EYE-Talian genetics.............and I am again so kidding.
Love you guys.
After being called a white trash, low life, scumbag today........by my ex husband..........it did a girl good to hear you guys support me.
Thanks guys.
Davey, Ohhhhhhh Davey.........Sian should only have to be concerned with school and playing and swimming and dolls, and Punch.
I wish we could bridge continents, Davey.
Meanwhile it was all on the burner........my ex husband drove by with a moving van........my daughter was NOT at school.............she's with some guy......that's who she wants the Playstation games for.........my mama didn't raise no fool........that was a set up........I ain't gone down without a fight....well yeah I ain't fighting like I used to.
He called me them names I said "O.k. thanks then, buh bye".
Rang the phone off the hook...........I ain't reacting anymore.
Oh and my daughter I ruined her day, her life, I'm a lousy B*tCH and all that got her was caught in a hundred lies.........not my bad.
She's an adult..........I had to hear that for the last three years.....a countdown.
Davey hit the nail on the head........as they say here......"I GROWN"
That means you are all grown up and know what you are doing......she has to learn the hard way............and don't blame no Irish genes on that! LOL
That's the EYE-Talian genetics.............and I am again so kidding.
Love you guys.
Hey Bryn,
Your wonderful, caring, sweet, funny, kind...and Irish for god's sake!
Hope those names are better than what he was calling you... and hope you feel better soon.
Your daughter is such a teenager by the sounds of it..God I've given my mother greif, I still do
Kym x
Your wonderful, caring, sweet, funny, kind...and Irish for god's sake!
Hope those names are better than what he was calling you... and hope you feel better soon.
Your daughter is such a teenager by the sounds of it..God I've given my mother greif, I still do
Kym x
Dear Bryn,
Man I feel your pain. I have two and have had a couple of freak-outs lately with one in particular. But it does sound to me like she is trying to reach out in her crude, immature way. I don't think she has the skills to bridge the gap she's created. You've been handling it so well. You really have. Anyone is going to respond to the names.
18 has changed mine...only two weeks into it. They still have one year of high school and think they can do what they want. Disrespect me. It's so hard. I can only offer my sympathy and understanding. I think they'll all return to the human race some day. We have to hang on until then.
Beck
Man I feel your pain. I have two and have had a couple of freak-outs lately with one in particular. But it does sound to me like she is trying to reach out in her crude, immature way. I don't think she has the skills to bridge the gap she's created. You've been handling it so well. You really have. Anyone is going to respond to the names.
18 has changed mine...only two weeks into it. They still have one year of high school and think they can do what they want. Disrespect me. It's so hard. I can only offer my sympathy and understanding. I think they'll all return to the human race some day. We have to hang on until then.
Beck
There ya go Bryn....Becks has come outta hiding to support ya ...youll have a gang soon...well ya do...homework time ..just a bit of colouring...i do the edges and Sian fills in the blanks ...sounds familiar dont it.Take care ..Bryn and Becks hope alls cool with you.........Davey
Hey Doll Face!
I knew if I waited long enough someone would come along and say what I tried to in a million different ways in my mile long post that I had to erase because, after a while I couldn't even figure out what I was trying to say. She's a hard headed teen. She's got a chip on her shoulder the size of a Colorado boulder. She can claim it's all your fault and as long as you let her manipulate you into believing it, the cycle will never end. Don't do her more harm than she's doing herself by allowing your guilt to fuel her fire and don't give her the reigns to a carriage she's not yet ready to drive. I know you've got to fight her father tooth and nail but you are still the adult here. She'll come back...maybe a little worse for wear, but she'll come back. No matter how f***ed up we are, they most always come back. I wouldn't say that if I didn't think you weren't someone she'd see fit to come back to, but you are.
There! I said what I had to say. That wasn't so hard. I gave you my email on Maddys post. Use it if you want to!
Love you!
~Callie~
I knew if I waited long enough someone would come along and say what I tried to in a million different ways in my mile long post that I had to erase because, after a while I couldn't even figure out what I was trying to say. She's a hard headed teen. She's got a chip on her shoulder the size of a Colorado boulder. She can claim it's all your fault and as long as you let her manipulate you into believing it, the cycle will never end. Don't do her more harm than she's doing herself by allowing your guilt to fuel her fire and don't give her the reigns to a carriage she's not yet ready to drive. I know you've got to fight her father tooth and nail but you are still the adult here. She'll come back...maybe a little worse for wear, but she'll come back. No matter how f***ed up we are, they most always come back. I wouldn't say that if I didn't think you weren't someone she'd see fit to come back to, but you are.
There! I said what I had to say. That wasn't so hard. I gave you my email on Maddys post. Use it if you want to!
Love you!
~Callie~
so much to say not enough time at the present to say it--love ya ill post later lunch time is over--back to work--sorry
Here's some more nice names for ya...
kind, caring, considerate, strong, wise, compassionate, hilariously funny, understanding, honest, insightful, in control, generous...
I could go on...
kind, caring, considerate, strong, wise, compassionate, hilariously funny, understanding, honest, insightful, in control, generous...
I could go on...
I second those Believer and you can only do what a Mom does and thats worry. She wont realise that what she is doing is hurting you and messing with your head but believe me when she reaches that age when she has a family and has settled down, one day she will realise what she has done and the hurt she was causing. I learnt eventually after many years of treating my Mam like cr*p. I used to disprespect her, everything that she said was wrong, everything she told me to do, I DIDNT DO IT. I think its just part of growing up and some people just like to learn for themselves. Its the hard way but one day she will learn. I DID.
Love ya Bryn, not enough words in the dictionary could describe what a lovely caring person you are. Your always there for everyone and I have nothing but respect for you. I dont know the inn's and out's but hopefully one day your day your daughter will gain the respect for you that you deserve. Untill then, you just have to let her learn for herself.
Thinking of you.
Love ya Bryn, not enough words in the dictionary could describe what a lovely caring person you are. Your always there for everyone and I have nothing but respect for you. I dont know the inn's and out's but hopefully one day your day your daughter will gain the respect for you that you deserve. Untill then, you just have to let her learn for herself.
Thinking of you.
Awwww, y'all thank you so much..........youse are too nice calling me all them fabulous names.........I so appreciate it.
Yeah well I don't understand it because I was that age and it's the honest to God's truth I NEVER treated anyone like that........EVER!
I went to therapy today and basically you all are therapy too and I appreciate it.
Yep, it's alllllllllllllllll my fault.............I ruin everything..........guess what? She gotta make it on her own then cause she thinks "SHE GROWN".
That's a saying. "I'M GROWN".
I'm not killing myself over here or relapsing.........and like Callie said she can't drive..........clueless..........and I ain't handing her the reigns no more.
Thanks again.
Yeah well I don't understand it because I was that age and it's the honest to God's truth I NEVER treated anyone like that........EVER!
I went to therapy today and basically you all are therapy too and I appreciate it.
Yep, it's alllllllllllllllll my fault.............I ruin everything..........guess what? She gotta make it on her own then cause she thinks "SHE GROWN".
That's a saying. "I'M GROWN".
I'm not killing myself over here or relapsing.........and like Callie said she can't drive..........clueless..........and I ain't handing her the reigns no more.
Thanks again.
