Things still going well but he's feeling like s*** on the subbies and had to go back to work today. Well he ended up having to leave work and is now really worried that he'll lose his job. Rang me and asked if I'd come over and "look after him", so...my fantastic friend comes to the rescue again and is gonna babysit so I can pop in on him. We've got crummy weather over here at the moment and he's freezing cold all the time. "Wish I was still on the H, at least I'd be warm". He's watched all the films I got him at least once and has not eaten at all or slept very much for 3 days. But you know what? I'd forgotten how much I love his smile...it's ages since I've seen him this happy...feeling s*** but smiling :o)
He also said today "I never want to go through this s*** again"...a good sign except he followed it with "yeah I've said that before!!!"
We're hanging in there. Maddy x
Awww Maddy thats great news. Am so happy for you. Its crunch time for my fella again tomorrow. Apparently he is starting his tablets again tomorrow. We will see???? Heard is too many times to build my hopes up and give a sh*t. I know what you mean about seeing that smile because Kevin didnt have anthing the otha night or the morning but took some valium. He was ill but smiled that old lovely smile again. Its so nice...and its the first time that I felt like it was like old times and it felt good.
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Hope it goes well Bunny! He was pissed as a fart when I got there tonight and passed out in his favourite armchair for the whole time I was there! But it's good to see him actually getting some sleep. I'm kinda exhausted with worrying and well just thinking about him 24/7. He took 22mg of subutex today, I think that's quite a lot...hopefully it will settle down soon...he has to work tomorrow afternoon so I hope he's feeling better because his work are starting to get more than a little pissed off with him.
On a brighter note, I found a house today that I really really want! So keep fingers crossed for me that I'll get it! It would mean my kids being able to have their own rooms, theyr'e sick of sharing and my 7yr old needs more sleep than the older one and is getting real tired.
Keep me posted on his progress...and let's hope we see more of their smiles :o)
Maddy x x x
On a brighter note, I found a house today that I really really want! So keep fingers crossed for me that I'll get it! It would mean my kids being able to have their own rooms, theyr'e sick of sharing and my 7yr old needs more sleep than the older one and is getting real tired.
Keep me posted on his progress...and let's hope we see more of their smiles :o)
Maddy x x x
wow-that gives me the tingles--good and bad--i know what your talkin about with the smiles--thats the real them--and trust me they know it too--you feel the real you--but much of the good is overshadowed by the way you feel--but thank god they are taking the subs--we dont have those here--they are still in test mode as far as ive heard around here--(kansas city missouri) i wish everyday that i couldve gotten on them instead of the methadone-im so scared of withdrwal and if i go to jail im screwed--anyway congratulatiopns--and stay positive--i hope you are telling them the things you see that really helps--massages and warm baths too--love the crap right out of their systems--but if they go bck out--its not your fault--and stop all communication till they do the right thing--sorry to put that there--but this is the devil we deal with--sounds really great--you all are wonderfull girls to be there so much for someone else--all the luck to you
Maddy, Like Amity said..........yep.......that's exactly all right.
The smile too.........that's the real deal........the dope smile of course we love ourselves, but it's just that........it's heroin smiling not the person.
I'm really glad ya got to see him smile...........and how he said "I ain't never going through this s*it again"...............think of it like when ya drank and had the wrose hangover............and ya say NEVER AGAIN........only amplify it by a trillion...........some suffering is really good cause it keeps it real when ya feel better...........and that's good ya didn't snap and say "Oh yeah ya wanted to get high. Ya did it to yourself. Now pay the band"............LOL.........my dad and boyfriend said that to me..........more than once..........and all it id was get me more p*ssed.
MUSIC...........music is the best when ya get clean............that's one thing made me really see how numb I was when using........yo, too he made it to work huh..........now that is heroic...........even if he had to leave.
Glad to hear it's going better, Maddy..........the house sounds great too.
The smile too.........that's the real deal........the dope smile of course we love ourselves, but it's just that........it's heroin smiling not the person.
I'm really glad ya got to see him smile...........and how he said "I ain't never going through this s*it again"...............think of it like when ya drank and had the wrose hangover............and ya say NEVER AGAIN........only amplify it by a trillion...........some suffering is really good cause it keeps it real when ya feel better...........and that's good ya didn't snap and say "Oh yeah ya wanted to get high. Ya did it to yourself. Now pay the band"............LOL.........my dad and boyfriend said that to me..........more than once..........and all it id was get me more p*ssed.
MUSIC...........music is the best when ya get clean............that's one thing made me really see how numb I was when using........yo, too he made it to work huh..........now that is heroic...........even if he had to leave.
Glad to hear it's going better, Maddy..........the house sounds great too.
i can't agree more.. when i'm clean t.v. doesn't get a look in. music music, music.. i think it was u bryn that mentoned afghan whigs . i heard them a while back doin that song from charmed . really cool ... ...................and amity.... wot i originally meant 2 say was that most people i know that try and come off gear with subs actuallly come off, not like with methadone where it seems 2 drag on.and on..... i hope he really sorts it .............. my partner scored today...( she is on methadone ) and i told her 2 keep it all 2 herself... if i was on meth 2 ( i'm on subbies ) i'd argue til i got half...and i think thats the subbies talkin..... hopefully if i say no often enough she will come round...i really hope she will....
I hope so too Herman, it's a real shame she can't be on the subbies too. But she got you on her side, that's a good thing :o)
Thank you so much for reading and replying to my update...it's good to know you all care. This morning my eyes are like glued together I'm so tired. I think I've kinda stopped worrying a bit now, so the adrenalin has slowed and now I'm exhausted!!! I got my brother's wedding this weekend and my kids are performing in a show on the same day, one of those days where you gotta be in two places at once and I'll be so glad when it's over!
Sunday I'm gonna sleep all day! Actually that's not true, I got a lot of paperwork to do, goin thru divorce and it's complicated! One day I'll sleep...
How's your guy going Bunny?
Thank you so much for reading and replying to my update...it's good to know you all care. This morning my eyes are like glued together I'm so tired. I think I've kinda stopped worrying a bit now, so the adrenalin has slowed and now I'm exhausted!!! I got my brother's wedding this weekend and my kids are performing in a show on the same day, one of those days where you gotta be in two places at once and I'll be so glad when it's over!
Sunday I'm gonna sleep all day! Actually that's not true, I got a lot of paperwork to do, goin thru divorce and it's complicated! One day I'll sleep...
How's your guy going Bunny?
I am the same this morning. That lovely little one in my picture had me up at 6:30am this morning. I cant grumble..she went to bed at 7:30pm last night and slept right through. Am soooo tired though!
He has gone to price a job but he handed me all of his money yesterday when he got in from work...well he may well of kept a little and I know how it works. If he is out and starts getting a little bit errrrm poorly am dam sure he will have something. You see the thing is I can see the patterns now and I always know whats coming next. Good thing I suppose. Better than all the lets downs previously.
Well no houses in mag this week so am stuck here another week. I just found out too that so called friends of mine...she has to take a house anywhere cos she is classed as homeless...she has to bid every week for anything and anywhere. Hopefully she gets one far far away eh? lol
Anyway little one throwng breakfast all over the place and screaming MMMMaaaaammmm so I got to go.
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He has gone to price a job but he handed me all of his money yesterday when he got in from work...well he may well of kept a little and I know how it works. If he is out and starts getting a little bit errrrm poorly am dam sure he will have something. You see the thing is I can see the patterns now and I always know whats coming next. Good thing I suppose. Better than all the lets downs previously.
Well no houses in mag this week so am stuck here another week. I just found out too that so called friends of mine...she has to take a house anywhere cos she is classed as homeless...she has to bid every week for anything and anywhere. Hopefully she gets one far far away eh? lol
Anyway little one throwng breakfast all over the place and screaming MMMMaaaaammmm so I got to go.
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