I haven't been smoking regularly now for nearly two weeks. had a big birthday weekend, smoked pot and went home without it and didn't need it. I love the freedom of being able to indulge but not get trapped. It is early days and I've smoked a couple of joints with some friends over the weekend but i'm not craving pot or needing it every second. I haven't abused the valium the doctor gave me to help with my withdrawals and still have plenty left which suprises me. The only thing i'm noticing is that my memory has got worse since i stopped smoking everyday. I think that's because i'm learning to function as a different person. I'm discovering a new me and a new boyfriend. We are both so amazed at how our disagreements don't become arguments. He doesn't stamp around and i don't break down in tears. Just thought I'd update everyone on how i'm going. I'm doing well and feeling positive. Thanks for listening!
Chrissie
Chrissie, I think what your going thru is P.A.W.S. You can do a search on it via the net. It will help you understand the memory etc.,
crissie-
Thats good to hear! Was wondering how you were doing, thanks for the update. Keep up the good work. And hey don't stay away so long next time, some else might need your help now that you're getting clean.
The only way to quit is to quit.
Thats good to hear! Was wondering how you were doing, thanks for the update. Keep up the good work. And hey don't stay away so long next time, some else might need your help now that you're getting clean.
The only way to quit is to quit.
hey chrissie.. if you are gonna continue to smoke be very careful.. It can get out of hand very fast.. Once you get more comfortable with doing it just socially.. you tend to want to do it a lil more each time.. then it can land you right back in the same boat before you even know what hit you.. trust me it happened to me.. and it's happening again.. altho I have not smoked any in over 2 weeks I have ingested it in small quantities and I already have to restrain myself from ingesting more..
I understand how easy it is to get started again once you think you have it under control. I'm trying to keep my motivation up by trying new habits. I worked 11 hours today without much of a break and planned to come home and watch T.V. Once i got home, I thought that i'd go a night without T.V as it is a habit and i'm trying to control all habits. Maybe i'm different to others on this message board in the respects that all i really want to be able to do is enjoy marijuana socially and then not need it the next day. So far, I've been able to do this. I've pretty much just got a promotion at work and i really want to buy a house next year. Motivation is the key. I'm losing weight, looking great, feeling great and life just seems brighter now that cloud of smoke has lifted. I hope that my feelings of happiness and some iota of success helps spur other people to control their lives. I could never remember these feelings when i was smoking and i was always told they'd come back and they have. Thanks for replying guys. By the way, what is P.A.W.S. I'm guessing post addiction withdrawal symptoms.
Chrissie.
Chrissie.
chrissie.. you are no different.. we all (well maybe not all but a good fair chunk of us) want to enjoy our drug of choice socially and not need it the next day.. but for most people that is simply not an option.. old habits die hard. Anyways I truly wish you the best of luck in whatever you do.. and if you do fall into old patterns don't beat yourself up over it... it's the worst thing you can do.. it's not your fault, it's the addiction trying to take over again. If you do manage to keep on a social only basis lemme know how you did it cause i'd love to know :)
crissie, plowking-
We are all different. That does not mean that some are better than others just different. There are some folks out there who seem to be able to control their use, and some who when they get going, can't stop. Those in the second category usually have some underlieing reason for thier use, generally trying to "kill" or cover over some kind of pain. If they can deal with these issues the need/desire to use will dissapear. If they quit using without dealing with them they just turn into "dry addicts." Not that dealing is easy.
But for other folks drug use can be recreational and occasional, there are just too many people out there who "use responsibly" to deny this. The only real debate is whether after using consisently for a long period of time, one can go back to social use and/or moderate their use prior to quitting. The posts here of jojo and perhaps now crissie tend to suggest that possibility, however rare it may be. We all have our own paths to follow and to suggest that "I couldn't do it therefore neither can you" is just petty and demeans both you and the person you are saying it to.
So crissie let us know how it goes, maybe we can convince these 12 steppers that theirs is not the "only" way. (Though quite frankly I doubt it.)
Authors note: I have no problems with the AA/NA program. Just with the folks that think their way is the only path. Whether that regards quitting or comes from religious motivation.
We are all different. That does not mean that some are better than others just different. There are some folks out there who seem to be able to control their use, and some who when they get going, can't stop. Those in the second category usually have some underlieing reason for thier use, generally trying to "kill" or cover over some kind of pain. If they can deal with these issues the need/desire to use will dissapear. If they quit using without dealing with them they just turn into "dry addicts." Not that dealing is easy.
But for other folks drug use can be recreational and occasional, there are just too many people out there who "use responsibly" to deny this. The only real debate is whether after using consisently for a long period of time, one can go back to social use and/or moderate their use prior to quitting. The posts here of jojo and perhaps now crissie tend to suggest that possibility, however rare it may be. We all have our own paths to follow and to suggest that "I couldn't do it therefore neither can you" is just petty and demeans both you and the person you are saying it to.
So crissie let us know how it goes, maybe we can convince these 12 steppers that theirs is not the "only" way. (Though quite frankly I doubt it.)
Authors note: I have no problems with the AA/NA program. Just with the folks that think their way is the only path. Whether that regards quitting or comes from religious motivation.
hippinerd, just playing devils advocate a little or throwing in a little more info into your pot, no pun intended, i think sometimes we tend to look over the metabolic/chemical issue as well
yes there might be underlying issues, maybe drugs help us deal, maybe that is why we started, maybe that is why we fear stopping, or just maybe we dont even know anymore why we use.
it was for fun at first, the social thing, parties, then habit, then...why are we doing this all the time, it isnt so much fun.
are head is saying i dont really need this or want it for that matter
maybe it isnt a simple choice of i cant deal with lifes problems, past present or future.
we are saying i want to stop, but or now chemically dependent brain is saying you cant... you cant live without me.... you will screw it up like you always do.... you can do socially..... 1x a day isnt as bad as what you used to do....my nerves would be shot without it....i aint going to no stupid group....what would i do at all those parties,... what would my friends say if i quit.....what would i do on saturday nights when i am by myself... the list goes on and on.
i think if it were as simple as a matter of choice, none of us would be here.
I would definately CHOOSE to be a social pot smoker. wouldnt you?
i am not knocking any ones way of getting clean, i dont go to meetings either, i know a little about the steps and use what i find helpful, whatever it takes to stop, great, and yes those underlying issues have to be dealt with. but if you are an a**, you are an a**, high or straight.
take care love you guys
yes there might be underlying issues, maybe drugs help us deal, maybe that is why we started, maybe that is why we fear stopping, or just maybe we dont even know anymore why we use.
it was for fun at first, the social thing, parties, then habit, then...why are we doing this all the time, it isnt so much fun.
are head is saying i dont really need this or want it for that matter
maybe it isnt a simple choice of i cant deal with lifes problems, past present or future.
we are saying i want to stop, but or now chemically dependent brain is saying you cant... you cant live without me.... you will screw it up like you always do.... you can do socially..... 1x a day isnt as bad as what you used to do....my nerves would be shot without it....i aint going to no stupid group....what would i do at all those parties,... what would my friends say if i quit.....what would i do on saturday nights when i am by myself... the list goes on and on.
i think if it were as simple as a matter of choice, none of us would be here.
I would definately CHOOSE to be a social pot smoker. wouldnt you?
i am not knocking any ones way of getting clean, i dont go to meetings either, i know a little about the steps and use what i find helpful, whatever it takes to stop, great, and yes those underlying issues have to be dealt with. but if you are an a**, you are an a**, high or straight.
take care love you guys
Chrissie, my memory seemed to get worse too. But it has been improving again. So hang in there. I couldn't find the paws thing either in google. Just got puppy info.
Today has been the first day where I have been at home and not thought of taking valium (which i have not had in over a week now). At one stage I thought that i had taken some because i felt so good! I have so much to look forward to these days. I used to hate thinking about going out to pubs and barbies, because i'd be watching the clock to see when i could get home to smoke. The friends that i was afraid of losing when i stopped have been so supportive. They were also our dealers and have promised not to give in if we ask them to buy pot. I'm also finding all these other friends that we forgot about because they didn't smoke. For all those feeling hopeless, i hope my happy feelings can make you feel positive. If you can get through a couple of weeks of feeling hopeless and sick, then you'll realise life is so much better. Its now spring in aussie and the sun is shining which makes life so much sunnier. I was in denial that pot made me feel depressed but i'm so high on life now, that i realise i won't need anti-depressants or valium all my life. I don't need it now and it has hardly been any time since i stopped regular smoking. For those who are feeling hopeless, go to my posts from last month and read how sad, hopeless and depressed i was feeling. I hope me feeling positive helps others but i also know it can make you feel even worse. You just have to stay strong!!!
you are so right crissie, it only last a few weeks, of course ups and downs come but nothing like right after you quit, and i have enjoyed life so much more. good for you. and good for you not needing the valium
paws.... google post acute withdrawal syndrome
my memory still sucks
paws.... google post acute withdrawal syndrome
my memory still sucks
Thanks JAMV. I looked it up and it explained a few of the things i've been experiencing. I easily forget where i've put the keys, wallet, jewellery etc. and t first found it quite disturbing as when i was smoking i never forgot where these simple items were. At first i thought, whats the point of not smoking if my memory is worse and would get very angry and upset if i couldn't find these things (another part of PAWS). I just laugh now, take a deep breath and look a little later on. I always find everything (although sometimes i think there is a little fairy who comes and hides things on me and then returns them). Thanks for your support.
Chrissie.
Chrissie.
how's it goin with the smokin chrissie? you still trying for the occasional puff ?
I haven't had a puff in over a week thanks plowking. I'm doing extremely well and haven't felt like having any. Today is the first day in ages that i have felt really down and depressed, but it hasn't made me want to smoke. I feel down because the reality of not having anywhere to go or have any friends to talk to is now becoming clear. When you are down and you are a smoker, you have a smoke and it all goes away. I don't have that anymore and have to deal with it on my own. Thats why this message board is so important to me because i can get it all out.
Chrissie
Chrissie
Chrissy, when you think about it, even when we go talk to our friends, we still are left to deal with whatever it was we were feeling...writing it down helps tremendously...it's just getting it out that counts not actually having someone physically there...you're strong and you're growing and I think that's amazing.
Although I had decided to becomea vegaterian, when the fish were hauled over the side and cut open, I saw that the big fish had little fish in their bellys and so I decided to eat them. It's so handy to be a rational animal in that it allows one to rationalize anything.
-from Ben Franklins autobiography recounting his thoughts while on a ship trapped in a harbor during a bombardment of a fort by the british. (i think it was fort McHenry, Star Spangled Banner)
So for over two hundred years, and probably since the dawn of rational thought, humans have been finding arguments to support the conclusion they desire to reach. And so it is with users, once they make the choice they can find any number of reasons why they have to do what they have chosen.
But the choice is always up to them. Notwithsanding those poor souls who are hoplessly hooked due to their particular brain chemistry. But I think those are vanishingly rare, so those who read these words should not use this excuse, if they think they can, get to a doctor.
Ultimately there are only two possibilitys, fate or free will. Either the path is laid out for us by a "higher power" or we make our choices, you cannot have it both ways. (Much to the dismay of many christians I know.) Now if you believe in fate, then you have no choice. But if you believe you have even one free choice in your life, then fate is not the ultimate arbiter, and by extension all of the choices you make are yours, and the opportunity to make them is the product of chance and the choices of others.
To use, or not to use, that is the question. The rest is simply self-bulls**t.
-from Ben Franklins autobiography recounting his thoughts while on a ship trapped in a harbor during a bombardment of a fort by the british. (i think it was fort McHenry, Star Spangled Banner)
So for over two hundred years, and probably since the dawn of rational thought, humans have been finding arguments to support the conclusion they desire to reach. And so it is with users, once they make the choice they can find any number of reasons why they have to do what they have chosen.
But the choice is always up to them. Notwithsanding those poor souls who are hoplessly hooked due to their particular brain chemistry. But I think those are vanishingly rare, so those who read these words should not use this excuse, if they think they can, get to a doctor.
Ultimately there are only two possibilitys, fate or free will. Either the path is laid out for us by a "higher power" or we make our choices, you cannot have it both ways. (Much to the dismay of many christians I know.) Now if you believe in fate, then you have no choice. But if you believe you have even one free choice in your life, then fate is not the ultimate arbiter, and by extension all of the choices you make are yours, and the opportunity to make them is the product of chance and the choices of others.
To use, or not to use, that is the question. The rest is simply self-bulls**t.
HOLY s***
I have a 19 year old son that doesn't believe in addictions. When I first spoke to him about my concern over my daily pot use. He said, " so quit." Now, as i get healthier, he really gets to see what my addiction/recovery did/does to/for me.
So I did quit. Over 40 days ago. Free will. A choice was made. There's no denying I need the f2f on thursday nights, though. If anything, to make sober friends.....Gawd, I still have that Halloween party to go too saturday....arriving, telling all my dear friends that I'm doing it sober, people I haven't seen in months....questioning if I even should tell them???.....I didn't go to the other party this past weekend, I just didn't feel like it (alot of strangers would have been there) Anxiety might make me want to get high? Who knows? Didn't want to risk it. The concert was a good enough outlet for having some fun in my life this past weekend. The Halloween party coming up, I have a plan in place. Arrive late, leave early, take pictures, dance alot. Planning to threatening my husband if he gets wasted, I leave without him......and he knows I will. Tough love or controlling wife? Why does addiction have to be so hard?
Interesting that my son proudly announced that his sister and he did not smoke anything that was offered at the Anthrax concert. I told them I was proud. They were a few rows ahead of us. He said it was offered more than once. "It's about choice, mom." He did have two beers, though. Legal age, ahhhhh...remember when ????
So I did quit. Over 40 days ago. Free will. A choice was made. There's no denying I need the f2f on thursday nights, though. If anything, to make sober friends.....Gawd, I still have that Halloween party to go too saturday....arriving, telling all my dear friends that I'm doing it sober, people I haven't seen in months....questioning if I even should tell them???.....I didn't go to the other party this past weekend, I just didn't feel like it (alot of strangers would have been there) Anxiety might make me want to get high? Who knows? Didn't want to risk it. The concert was a good enough outlet for having some fun in my life this past weekend. The Halloween party coming up, I have a plan in place. Arrive late, leave early, take pictures, dance alot. Planning to threatening my husband if he gets wasted, I leave without him......and he knows I will. Tough love or controlling wife? Why does addiction have to be so hard?
Interesting that my son proudly announced that his sister and he did not smoke anything that was offered at the Anthrax concert. I told them I was proud. They were a few rows ahead of us. He said it was offered more than once. "It's about choice, mom." He did have two beers, though. Legal age, ahhhhh...remember when ????
oh to be 19 an idealistic
