Hi everyone! I feel that like I have known some of you all my life..... Last week I started posting on this site, when I was going thru Vicodin w/d. Many of you gave such good advise.... Thank you! I am now on day 10, and clean. Since last week I have gone from hiding my addiction, my w/d's, my fears, and tears.... to telling a few friends, and my husband what was really going on. Yesterday, I went to my primary doc, and I no longer have to take the BP med, and on Friday I am going to try acupuncture. Many of you have asked about this, and Im going to give it a try. I feel that it may help with the promothion of health and well-being, that right now I am searching for. I then went from his office to my counselors office.... I have been seeing this gal for 3 years, and even last Monday while going throught w/d hell.... I never said a word to her. I don't know how I pulled it together, and even got to her office. WELL, I told her everything from, how long, how much, how I got all the pills, blah, blah.... and I feel so wonderful that I came clean with her. I know that some one sent me a thread on what my plan was to staying clean:) My friend that had the needle core biopsy? NO CANCER FOUND!!!!! I even got to talk with the Radiologist last night at work, and he told me that he really thought that when he removed the tissue, it looked cancerous. THANK GOD! Last week when she was going through all of this, I think that her whole focus was on me... she was SO worried about me. Thank you to all that supported me last week, when I was crying because my body hurt from my toes to my teeth.... I felt that my life was laying in a zillion pieces on the floor. I know today that I am clean and that I am making that choice. For those of you that may read this and are going through w/d.... EVERYDAY gets better. The fog slowly lifts.... and staying close to this message board is a good idea. I think after my first posting, it was minutes and someone reached out to me..... THANKS! Carol, MJ, Redd, Terrianne.... (if I missed anyone Im sorry).... xxoo
Dear Bee (I think thats your nickname )Anyways your very welcome.It feels good to know that something we said made such a positive difference to you.Comming clean is ONE of the hardest thing(I mean being open)But it is a very enpowering feeling.It makes you feel stronger cause that wewight is lifted.I am very proud of you & hope you keep it up.A sober life can & is beautiful...mj
Shabee,
You sound so much better, you are on the right track. This is a tricky thing you are going through, some say its harder to stay clean then get clean and vice versa. I'm about to find out for myself, but thats another story. Just remember, you can't go back, only look forward. Relapse is one pill away, please don't ever risk it, take it from me, I used to think I could "reward" myself, its just one pill, blah blah blah. When that thought behavior came in and I acted on it, it spelled relapse. You have come too far for that. Keep coming back, let us know how you are.
I am so happy for you and your friend
Redd
You sound so much better, you are on the right track. This is a tricky thing you are going through, some say its harder to stay clean then get clean and vice versa. I'm about to find out for myself, but thats another story. Just remember, you can't go back, only look forward. Relapse is one pill away, please don't ever risk it, take it from me, I used to think I could "reward" myself, its just one pill, blah blah blah. When that thought behavior came in and I acted on it, it spelled relapse. You have come too far for that. Keep coming back, let us know how you are.
I am so happy for you and your friend
Redd
Sha.........I am so glad we had a positive impact on your recovery. I can remember when I found this board, it was like a gift from God to have others to talk to and confide in who could give me advice from their own experience. What a great idea!
I am so happy for you and how well your recovery is going. You're doing great and making progress each and every day. Keep it up! There are many on here right now who need to hear your story. You are an inspiration and have much to offer others! I hope you stick around for awhile!
Hey... Im sticking around :) It is amazing when you start to help others, how wonderful it feels. Im clean today, and I feel SO good. You girls are like a little posse.... When the natives are restless, and wondering you guys bond together, and help a lost soul. Do you all know how many people that you have touched??????????????
Hey Bee I know there are awesome people here.I joined in Nov 04 & Im thankful everyday.And for me its the first time in years Ive let myself make some good friends
Shabee.......it is amazing, isn't it? It is so difficult to explain to the one's still sitting on the fence the feeling of being clean........ finally, isn't it? I am glad you know that feeling, and yes, it only adds to it when you share and help others.
A "posse" huh? LMAO
Hey MJ, Im thinking of changing my little name to Bee, instead of Shabee.... I like it. Everyday, I feel better.... You know that you have touched many lives.... :)
Ok Carol.... LAMO? What am I missing? I am a little virgin at computer talk. It took me a while to know what w/d, c/t ment.... LOL
Thank you.I woul;d like to invite you to try & join us in the mornings.We get on pretty early and have alittle coffee club.We all joke around or welcome or just talk.Of course if someone is having a hard time we all kinda pitch in to try to help.So please if your an early bird feel free to join us ok?Im sorry but I gotta sign off for now.My BF calls on his lunch everyday.So Ive enjoyed talking with you and hopefully we can talk again soon.Take Care...mj
Thanks for the invite... Im still in my dream state when you are all on in the morning.... I will try to get my a** out of bed, and join you girls! Im so glad that IM laughing this week once again, I really thought I never would....
Shabee,
telling selected ones in your life of your addiction and your actions to get and stay clean is a huge and important accomplishment that it takes many a long while to get to if ever... while it is scary and it may not feel comfortable it is winning a great battle... it is just like adding one more support in your corner.. you are doing great and though you will have days that arent so good and maybe down right bites... you will have the tools to help you deal....
you are doing great... keep it up...
Teresa.
Addiction is not a morale character defect it is a disease that requires treatment.. and the more we talk to people and educate them the more they will come to understand this. Just my soap box thought for the day...lol..
God bless ....
telling selected ones in your life of your addiction and your actions to get and stay clean is a huge and important accomplishment that it takes many a long while to get to if ever... while it is scary and it may not feel comfortable it is winning a great battle... it is just like adding one more support in your corner.. you are doing great and though you will have days that arent so good and maybe down right bites... you will have the tools to help you deal....
you are doing great... keep it up...
Teresa.
Addiction is not a morale character defect it is a disease that requires treatment.. and the more we talk to people and educate them the more they will come to understand this. Just my soap box thought for the day...lol..
God bless ....
Bee........I second MJ's coffee chat invite! anytime you can make it, you are welcome!
So how did your counselor react when you dropped the bomb? Does she have any background in addiction?
I have found counseling to be the best thing in the world for me recently. Especially exploring the glitches in myself that most likely caused me to want to escape through using drugs. Stuff I never would have admitted to myself, if you know what I mean. Having an objective professional look at me and make observations and give directions, it's like having a "life coach" <wink>, and right now, it's nice to have someone else pointing me in the right direction.
LMAO- laughing my a$$ off
LOL- laughing out loud, lots of laughing
ROFL-rolling in the floor laughing
IMO- in my opinion (?)
Can anyone think of anymore.......
Teresa.... Thanks for your soap box.... you are right. Thanks for your post as well. I know today Im feeling good, and I know that I have some rough roads ahead....
Carol, LOL! You make me smile..............................Bee, What do you think of this little change? I think I like it!
Carol, LOL! You make me smile..............................Bee, What do you think of this little change? I think I like it!
hey bee,
i am so happy for you and proud of you as well. your hard work is paying off and you are a shining example that brings much hope to those who are struggling. stay in the light and keep your chin up. its easier to see heavan that way : ) keep up the good fight you are worth every minute of it. you are staying in my thoughts and prayers.
terrianne
i am so happy for you and proud of you as well. your hard work is paying off and you are a shining example that brings much hope to those who are struggling. stay in the light and keep your chin up. its easier to see heavan that way : ) keep up the good fight you are worth every minute of it. you are staying in my thoughts and prayers.
terrianne
Ok, when I dropped the bomb.... She just sat and went "Oh, Oh" She is a very soft person, if I would describe her. I have never seen anyone write so fast, probably because I talk fast. The hour I did all the talking and I go back on Monday...... I will keep you all updated. The secret is out of the bag..........
Bee.........i'll bet she has some things to say when you go back on Monday, though. don't worry, i am sure she has heard worse.
she writes it down? my coun. never writes anything! and she remembers things I told her 2 years ago with detail. she is amazing, in that she has the whole picture of my life and everyone in it, and can keep it all straight just from memory. that amazes me because i can't remember why I go to another room sometimes!
have you given any thought to attending NA?
Yes I have..... where would I start to find N/A meetings? Call my insurance... I think I have Cigna Behavioral Heath or something like that...
NA contact for your area:
612-724-4712, tmaas@seren.com
Or you call your counselor, i am sure she would know or know where to find out.
Have a good afternoon, I've got to get out of here, the day is passing me by!
Talk to you later!
Carol
Thanks I will call today... and for the email address. You have a good day, and I will chat with you later. Im going tanning today to burn the little suckers off my forehead, and my chin..:)
Thanks I will call today... and for the email address. You have a good day, and I will chat with you later. Im going tanning today to burn the little suckers off my forehead, and my chin..:)
