Im writing for help. I have spent 3 days online looking for a sight that I felt that I could trust. I am on day 4 of staying off Vicodin ES, and I was hoping today that I would wake up and feel a little better. I have been using for 3 years, and since December my use has gone way up. Just last week, I ended up in the ER on fluids, and morphine because I could not stand the pain. I work at the hospital that I went to, where everybody knows me and just told them I had the flu. I could not bring myself to tell anybody the hell that I was going through. On Monday, I then went to my doctor and came clean. He started me on a blood pressure med called, Terazosin to help with the night sweats that I have been having for weeks. Also, Xanax to sleep. Will I turn the corner soon? Every muscle in my body aches, and Im pissed at myself for letting it go this far. Looking for a little help today!
Shabee...The worst WD's are usually the first 3 days. After that it does get better but takes about a month to really feel back to normal again. How many pills where you taking a day? Hang in there, this is the hardest part but you can do it. Let me know if you have any other questions. You have found a great place, the people here are great, they all have been through a lot so there is always someone who will be able to shed some light for you. Stay strong because it does get better, I swear...My DOC was percocet and I took about 6-10 a day for 2.5 years. I have been clean since 1/12 of this year and feel really good. But I wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't find this board. Welcome and keep the faith!
GHF...
GHF...
Three days is great, don't look back, just ahead, sounds like you are on the right track. As far as when you will feel better, I have been off since 2/21/05, so not that much longer than you, but now, my only real problem is lack of sleep.
There are alot of really good people on this board, if you keep posting, they are sure to see and respond better than I. Again Good Luck and stay with it, I promise it will get better.
There are alot of really good people on this board, if you keep posting, they are sure to see and respond better than I. Again Good Luck and stay with it, I promise it will get better.
Oh yeah CONGRATS ON 4 DAYS!
Shabee...I bumped up a post that someone here (o'neill) wrote that was a great day to day diary when he quit taking Vicodin. Maybe this will help you.
Shabee...I bumped up a post that someone here (o'neill) wrote that was a great day to day diary when he quit taking Vicodin. Maybe this will help you.
Thanks for the quick response! Im glad that I took a leap of faith and that Im talking about my Vicodin problem. I went to a new doctor in December, and told him the whole story about my back (herniated disc) bla... bla and he turns around and gives me Vicodin ES #40 with 6 refills. I was up to taking at least 8 a day for months. I have been working in the medical field for 15 years, I know doctors, and all the ins and outs. Im also the mother of 3 great kids and a husband, and I should know better. I guess that this is the first step in recovery is talking about it. I have a lot of friends, and I have never shared this journey with anyone, or should I just say my battle with Vicodin. The night sweats are what really bothers me..... do they last for weeks? Today, every muscle in body aches, and Im blue............
Shabee,
Welcome to the board. This board has helped me more than I can tell you, so keep coming back and post, even if its to just vent.
Everyone is different in their withdrawl, but it sounds like you are at the peak of yours. It will get better as time goes by. The days seem like they drag on forever when you feel like you do, but they still pass. It is going to take some time for you to start feeling better. The physical part usually lasts for 7 to 10 days, but the mental cravings can go on for much longer. Do you have outside support?
I'm glad to hear you went to your doctor and told him everything, that is a hard thing to do for alot of people, so that was a big step in the right direction.
Hang in there kiddo, and try not to beat yourself up. Yes, you put yourself here, but you can pull yourself out.
Redd
Welcome to the board. This board has helped me more than I can tell you, so keep coming back and post, even if its to just vent.
Everyone is different in their withdrawl, but it sounds like you are at the peak of yours. It will get better as time goes by. The days seem like they drag on forever when you feel like you do, but they still pass. It is going to take some time for you to start feeling better. The physical part usually lasts for 7 to 10 days, but the mental cravings can go on for much longer. Do you have outside support?
I'm glad to hear you went to your doctor and told him everything, that is a hard thing to do for alot of people, so that was a big step in the right direction.
Hang in there kiddo, and try not to beat yourself up. Yes, you put yourself here, but you can pull yourself out.
Redd
Sahbee,,,,,Hey and welcome to the board!...,,Congratulations on 3 days clean, almost 4! You are doing great.....should be on the upswing now or at least by tomorrow/Friday. Are you taking vitamins? I highly recommend B12 for energy. Having 3 kids I am sure you need that!
Night sweats......... although I have had them, I did not have them during w/d. Guess I got lucky on that score.Maybe someone else will come along and tell you what might help you with that. Just know that most of your symtoms should subside soon. How great will that be? : )
I also am a mother of two and a wife whose DOC was hydrocodone. I was up to 150mg a day when I stopped in November.
The best thing that could have happened........DID! I found this board by accident on day 4 of my w/d and have not missed many days here since. Finding others who understood where I was, where I had been, and where I might be headed was instrumental in my success. Please rely on this board as much as you want to help you through the coming days! Also try to get some outside help, as well i.e. meetings, counseling, etc.
Hang in there! You're going to love being clean.
Shabee, you said you spent time looking for a website that you could trust..... Well, you've come to the right place! This site is a WONDERFUL place for anyone going through recovery or still in active addiction.
After joining this Board, I looked up other message boards & read a lot to see if I could find other support groups like this one. It didn't happen. I found a lot of info & many people with experiences just like me, but it was nothing like this group. On here, we are like one big dysfunctional family. Sometimes you may need advice, sometimes you may just want to talk, and other times maybe you just want to read & take it all in..... you will not only have the support of many people like you, but you'll also get opinions and advice from people who DON'T agree with you and this is good, too. As addicts, we become very self-absorbed & think we have all of the answers..... so every once in a while it's good to be reminded "I do not know it all" or "I am not right all the time"
You'll find people on here 24 hours a day.... people from all over the world. We get to know each other, so after a while you'll log on and it will be like your friends are online with you. We get personal so that we get to know everyone. We share pictures, we talk about kids, we talk about our jobs...... It's not like a bunch of strangers talking about addiction - you end up really caring about the people that come to this site just like you.
We are a group from all walks of life. Sometimes, the hardest part with addiction to pain pills is that you feel like you are the "only one" to go through this. Many pain pill addicts do not consider themselves drug addicts because they dont' fit the stereotype of what they think a drug addict is.... on here, you'll meet people who work in hospitals (doctors, nurses).... you'll talk to lawyers, pharmacists..... And you'll also talk to stay at home moms, secretaries, bartenders, waitresses (never talked to a priest though... I think that's the one profession we don't have someone to represent). You'll find someone that's a lot like YOU and knows what you're going through.
We're glad to have you here.
Danielle
After joining this Board, I looked up other message boards & read a lot to see if I could find other support groups like this one. It didn't happen. I found a lot of info & many people with experiences just like me, but it was nothing like this group. On here, we are like one big dysfunctional family. Sometimes you may need advice, sometimes you may just want to talk, and other times maybe you just want to read & take it all in..... you will not only have the support of many people like you, but you'll also get opinions and advice from people who DON'T agree with you and this is good, too. As addicts, we become very self-absorbed & think we have all of the answers..... so every once in a while it's good to be reminded "I do not know it all" or "I am not right all the time"
You'll find people on here 24 hours a day.... people from all over the world. We get to know each other, so after a while you'll log on and it will be like your friends are online with you. We get personal so that we get to know everyone. We share pictures, we talk about kids, we talk about our jobs...... It's not like a bunch of strangers talking about addiction - you end up really caring about the people that come to this site just like you.
We are a group from all walks of life. Sometimes, the hardest part with addiction to pain pills is that you feel like you are the "only one" to go through this. Many pain pill addicts do not consider themselves drug addicts because they dont' fit the stereotype of what they think a drug addict is.... on here, you'll meet people who work in hospitals (doctors, nurses).... you'll talk to lawyers, pharmacists..... And you'll also talk to stay at home moms, secretaries, bartenders, waitresses (never talked to a priest though... I think that's the one profession we don't have someone to represent). You'll find someone that's a lot like YOU and knows what you're going through.
We're glad to have you here.
Danielle
Great post Danielle.....do you write any fiction? Just wondered because you certainly can write excellent. I am going to reply in your LACK OF MOTIVATION thread as soon as I can get motivated to write more.
I just wanted to add that although we do not have a priest, we have a preacher, Johnny.....aka Atoz. LOL
Carol, you're right..... Johnny "Atoz" IS our resident preacher......
Yes, I write fiction. Well, I DID.... I don't have time any more. I wrote a 329 page book when I was 15 (never got it published) and have probably wrote 100 short stories and beginnings to books since then (you know, where you get an idea and start writing and do about 2 chapters and then get bored and quit? lol And my doc wonders why I think I have ADD)
And, Shabee, it's important for you to realize that we DO argue on here, we do fight... I made this board sound so great, but sometimes we do bicker and other times it can get pretty ugly.....that's what we have moderators for and they do a great job keeping us in line most of the time. But we're human and that means we're cranky and irritable at times..... So if you ever see any fighting, don't get scared and run off..... For every mean post, there's 500 good ones.
Okay, so Johnny is our resident preacher.... What is everyone else? The hardest job in the world is being a stay-at-home mom and I know we have a few of them...... Rae is our resident martyr in that division I guess, so she's a good one to go to if you're ready to kill your kids (just kidding). Rachel is our resident pharmaceutical rep, so she's a great one to go to if you need advice on a new drug or if you just want to learn how to manipulate doctors..... LOL.... I've warned you all before - I think I'm funnier than I really am.... LOL
Everyone out there, join in on the fun..... What do you want to be appointed as the expert in? What do you do for a living? We should probably start a new post for this, so Shabee doesn't think we're ignoring her problems and just kidding around.
I guess I'm our resident bimbo..... JUST KIDDING. I'm just saying that because it doesn't matter what my other jobs are, like working with disabled people or going to school or being a mom, most people only care about my dancing job and that's what I'm known for..... so if anyone needs any help on how to get money out of lonely old men, I'm the one to go to! LOL
Danni
Yes, I write fiction. Well, I DID.... I don't have time any more. I wrote a 329 page book when I was 15 (never got it published) and have probably wrote 100 short stories and beginnings to books since then (you know, where you get an idea and start writing and do about 2 chapters and then get bored and quit? lol And my doc wonders why I think I have ADD)
And, Shabee, it's important for you to realize that we DO argue on here, we do fight... I made this board sound so great, but sometimes we do bicker and other times it can get pretty ugly.....that's what we have moderators for and they do a great job keeping us in line most of the time. But we're human and that means we're cranky and irritable at times..... So if you ever see any fighting, don't get scared and run off..... For every mean post, there's 500 good ones.
Okay, so Johnny is our resident preacher.... What is everyone else? The hardest job in the world is being a stay-at-home mom and I know we have a few of them...... Rae is our resident martyr in that division I guess, so she's a good one to go to if you're ready to kill your kids (just kidding). Rachel is our resident pharmaceutical rep, so she's a great one to go to if you need advice on a new drug or if you just want to learn how to manipulate doctors..... LOL.... I've warned you all before - I think I'm funnier than I really am.... LOL
Everyone out there, join in on the fun..... What do you want to be appointed as the expert in? What do you do for a living? We should probably start a new post for this, so Shabee doesn't think we're ignoring her problems and just kidding around.
I guess I'm our resident bimbo..... JUST KIDDING. I'm just saying that because it doesn't matter what my other jobs are, like working with disabled people or going to school or being a mom, most people only care about my dancing job and that's what I'm known for..... so if anyone needs any help on how to get money out of lonely old men, I'm the one to go to! LOL
Danni
Danni- You used to dance? Professionally or like at a go go bar? You certainly are pretty enough to do either...You should model and write books...LOL...
Guys I just got back from my doctor that did my back surgery. I go back to work monday and cant wait!! I gotta be honest, I was so tempted to get some percs it was killing me. I would have been easy but I didn't do it! Very proud of myself.
Shabee...Welcome my friend...
GHF...
Guys I just got back from my doctor that did my back surgery. I go back to work monday and cant wait!! I gotta be honest, I was so tempted to get some percs it was killing me. I would have been easy but I didn't do it! Very proud of myself.
Shabee...Welcome my friend...
GHF...
Shabee,
Congrats on Day # 4. Yes you will turn the corner soon. It shouldn't be too much longer... I wish you the best.
Danielle,
You are too funny. Yes I am the president of being a stay at home mom and wanting to kill my kids,LOL... As I type this I have an almost 11 month old wedged under my chair and an almost 14 year old begging to drive my car around the yard. Then to top it all off I have to go pick up my kindergarten son from school,LOL... To top it off my BF is requesting chicken salad for dinner and wants me to stop at the store to get dinner.Ugh!! Danni, I can so relate to the lack of motivation.... I have it for sure. I quit lortab Feb 2nd and today is Mar 2nd and I still am lacking energy. Anyway gotta run! Talk to ya soon~ Rae
Congrats on Day # 4. Yes you will turn the corner soon. It shouldn't be too much longer... I wish you the best.
Danielle,
You are too funny. Yes I am the president of being a stay at home mom and wanting to kill my kids,LOL... As I type this I have an almost 11 month old wedged under my chair and an almost 14 year old begging to drive my car around the yard. Then to top it all off I have to go pick up my kindergarten son from school,LOL... To top it off my BF is requesting chicken salad for dinner and wants me to stop at the store to get dinner.Ugh!! Danni, I can so relate to the lack of motivation.... I have it for sure. I quit lortab Feb 2nd and today is Mar 2nd and I still am lacking energy. Anyway gotta run! Talk to ya soon~ Rae
GHF, in gentlemen's clubs.... I technically still do it, though I don't work as much any more. I'm getting older (I'm 32; the girls between ages 28-35 make the most money, but, like being a model or an athlete, you really start to worry about getting too old for your job) and I'm married...... I'm such a big flirt, but there it can be taken wrong by some of the people (for obvious reasons) and that can cause problems in any marriage.
Also, having a child makes it tough..... Most of the girls have kids or started dancing because they are a single mom, but I began for the $$$$ and now that I have a child, I dont' want to be there. I don't want my son to know what I did for a living before he was born and while he was little. It's not that I'm embarrassed - everyone knows what I do, except for the parents at my kid's school- but with a child it's different. Kids can be brutal and I don't want other kids teasing him about it.... I want him to know that intelligence & college & learning is what will lead to a good career, not being naked.
And now that I'm not drinking or doing drugs, that makes it tough, too. It's hard to be the only sober one there. I've worked for years without drinking or taking anything, but I always COULD if I wanted to. When I was really into karate, I didn't drink because I was really into working out and stuff, but every now and then I would and would have a great time (before then, I drank every night at work, sometimes close to a bottle of Jager, and would have contests to out-drink people... and my husband said he could SMELL the alcohol coming out of my pores the next day). Or every now and then I could take a few pain pills or take a hit of E with my friends and it was fine..... Now, I CAN'T do anything and it's tough dealing with everyone when you're in a different mindframe than they are. When I'm having a bad night or if a good customer wants me to drink with him and have fun, I CAN'T.
Also, it's not good for me to be around that any more..... It's not good for me to be in an atmosphere where drugs are the norm. Drugs were never a big deal to me because EVERYONE I knew did them (except the hubby, who would say "It's NOT normal to be around drugs like that), but after getting addicted, it's hard for me to see others high or drunk or partying like that. Being around sober people, it's a lot easier..... having people all night say "one drink won't hurt" or "what's the big deal, it's only Vicodin" makes it a lot harder. Just yesterday, a girl called and left a message that she had some pills if I wanted them (I don't).
A few years ago, I thought I had the greatest job in the whole world. It's lead to many great opportunities and I wouldn't change the past for anything. I've done things that I NEVER could have done without this career...... but now partying and money and having fun is not my top priority. It's just not who I am any more.
D
Also, having a child makes it tough..... Most of the girls have kids or started dancing because they are a single mom, but I began for the $$$$ and now that I have a child, I dont' want to be there. I don't want my son to know what I did for a living before he was born and while he was little. It's not that I'm embarrassed - everyone knows what I do, except for the parents at my kid's school- but with a child it's different. Kids can be brutal and I don't want other kids teasing him about it.... I want him to know that intelligence & college & learning is what will lead to a good career, not being naked.
And now that I'm not drinking or doing drugs, that makes it tough, too. It's hard to be the only sober one there. I've worked for years without drinking or taking anything, but I always COULD if I wanted to. When I was really into karate, I didn't drink because I was really into working out and stuff, but every now and then I would and would have a great time (before then, I drank every night at work, sometimes close to a bottle of Jager, and would have contests to out-drink people... and my husband said he could SMELL the alcohol coming out of my pores the next day). Or every now and then I could take a few pain pills or take a hit of E with my friends and it was fine..... Now, I CAN'T do anything and it's tough dealing with everyone when you're in a different mindframe than they are. When I'm having a bad night or if a good customer wants me to drink with him and have fun, I CAN'T.
Also, it's not good for me to be around that any more..... It's not good for me to be in an atmosphere where drugs are the norm. Drugs were never a big deal to me because EVERYONE I knew did them (except the hubby, who would say "It's NOT normal to be around drugs like that), but after getting addicted, it's hard for me to see others high or drunk or partying like that. Being around sober people, it's a lot easier..... having people all night say "one drink won't hurt" or "what's the big deal, it's only Vicodin" makes it a lot harder. Just yesterday, a girl called and left a message that she had some pills if I wanted them (I don't).
A few years ago, I thought I had the greatest job in the whole world. It's lead to many great opportunities and I wouldn't change the past for anything. I've done things that I NEVER could have done without this career...... but now partying and money and having fun is not my top priority. It's just not who I am any more.
D
Danni,,,,,,guess I'm not like most people then, I care more about you being a mom and a Danni than the dancing. I think the fact that you ALSO work two jobs and go to school is amazing. The dancing doesn't define you, these other things do.
Let's see.....I don't know what my speciality could be.
We have a Sci-Fi Specialist........Gabby, with MJ as second in command.
Mj is also our Ultram specialist.
Danny is the Avatar Specialist, among other things. : )
Cowgirl's area would be horses.
Vinny's.....of course, sex and boners.
Sammy is Queen of Inspiration and Logical Thinking
Rae also gives a really good post on Methadone Withdrawal, so we can give her two titles.
Briar was our Travel Agent, but she may be taking some time off, not sure.
Anymore? I could think of a lot more, but I'll leave some for everyone else. LOL
S.....sorry if we've taken over your thread, but just look at how much you're learning! Hope you're doing good. Let us know when you come on!
Hi Shabee;
I too was addicted to vicodan HP 10 mg per tab. I was afflicted with night sweats that lasted approx 5 to 7 days, and my mood did not lift for about 7 to 10 days. You probly are already taking advil 600 mg every 6 hrs if not this does help with the muscle aches, also stay hydrated, and try to get some exercise even if it is just walking. I also found getting fresh air and bright sunshine helps alot.
I live in the north east, and the dreary days and long nights were getting to me so I bought one of those "light boxes" they sell for SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder....It has helped alot!.
Also Insomnia was a horrible problem for me, even before becomming an addict. I recommend the book "Say good night to Insomnia" by Gregory Jacobs it is awsome I am now sleeping 6 to 7 hrs a night where I used to get between 3 to 5 hrs total.
Hang in there it will get better, and once you do feel better your next hurdle will be fighting these thoughts ...it wasn't that bad... I could use occasionally and keep it under controll...... I know it is hard to beleive now but getting clean is the easy part........Staying clean that's the trick......
You may want to keep a journal and describe in all the gory details how bad you feel physically and emotionally, you should even take a picture of yourself if you look sickish and put it in the journal......On those days when you feel great and think this would be a good day for a buzz, pull out the journal and re-read it, hopefully it will motivate you to stay sober.
Good luck, tomorrow will be better than today
Paul
I too was addicted to vicodan HP 10 mg per tab. I was afflicted with night sweats that lasted approx 5 to 7 days, and my mood did not lift for about 7 to 10 days. You probly are already taking advil 600 mg every 6 hrs if not this does help with the muscle aches, also stay hydrated, and try to get some exercise even if it is just walking. I also found getting fresh air and bright sunshine helps alot.
I live in the north east, and the dreary days and long nights were getting to me so I bought one of those "light boxes" they sell for SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder....It has helped alot!.
Also Insomnia was a horrible problem for me, even before becomming an addict. I recommend the book "Say good night to Insomnia" by Gregory Jacobs it is awsome I am now sleeping 6 to 7 hrs a night where I used to get between 3 to 5 hrs total.
Hang in there it will get better, and once you do feel better your next hurdle will be fighting these thoughts ...it wasn't that bad... I could use occasionally and keep it under controll...... I know it is hard to beleive now but getting clean is the easy part........Staying clean that's the trick......
You may want to keep a journal and describe in all the gory details how bad you feel physically and emotionally, you should even take a picture of yourself if you look sickish and put it in the journal......On those days when you feel great and think this would be a good day for a buzz, pull out the journal and re-read it, hopefully it will motivate you to stay sober.
Good luck, tomorrow will be better than today
Paul
Paul.....great post! The journal and picture are great ideas! Wish I had done that.
Hope you are doing well!
Had to jump in here before I go to work......
Carol, you could be an advice columnist, kinda like our own Dear Abby. I know I get alot of good advice from you.
Have a great night everyone
Redd
Carol, you could be an advice columnist, kinda like our own Dear Abby. I know I get alot of good advice from you.
Have a great night everyone
Redd
Carol, could you start another post to put all of that on there?
I think it would be great to have a list of what everyone does..... or even what their area of "expertise" is (could be a job or an experience.... like, I'm in school and know how tough it is to go through recovery while trying to graduate... also, I am on suboxone, so I can help with that... and I have had panic attacks for 13 years, so someone going through those while on drugs or after quitting, I can help them with that)
We can all help each other in any area, of course, but there ARE certain things that a few of us are better in...... It would be great to know who would be the best one to turn to.
I would do it (start the post), but I have to return a porn movie and then pick up my kid from school (yes, in that order).... LOL
I think it would be great to have a list of what everyone does..... or even what their area of "expertise" is (could be a job or an experience.... like, I'm in school and know how tough it is to go through recovery while trying to graduate... also, I am on suboxone, so I can help with that... and I have had panic attacks for 13 years, so someone going through those while on drugs or after quitting, I can help them with that)
We can all help each other in any area, of course, but there ARE certain things that a few of us are better in...... It would be great to know who would be the best one to turn to.
I would do it (start the post), but I have to return a porn movie and then pick up my kid from school (yes, in that order).... LOL
Danni, LOL Since you are also our Resident Author, would you start the thread and explain what we're doing, then I'll list those.pllleeeaasssee!
Redd.....Thanks very much, but I do not feel qualified to be the resident Dear Abby.....lmao.......let me think on that and I'll see if I can come up with someone else for that job.
I would wind up giving bad advice and quickly lose that title!
dani....... Just saw ........you're leaving. We'll be here when you get back!
I have to go out. We'll get together when we get back. In the meanwhile, we'll gladly take suggestions for assignments. lol
Redd.....Thanks very much, but I do not feel qualified to be the resident Dear Abby.....lmao.......let me think on that and I'll see if I can come up with someone else for that job.
I would wind up giving bad advice and quickly lose that title!
dani....... Just saw ........you're leaving. We'll be here when you get back!
I have to go out. We'll get together when we get back. In the meanwhile, we'll gladly take suggestions for assignments. lol
I would like to thank all of you that have responded to my first post this morning. This morning was hard, and Im feeling better this afternoon. I am taking advil every 2 hours, and I had to take a Xanax this afternoon, because I thought I was going to go out of my mind. Taking a shower was painful, and I have had the chills all day. I finally called my best friend who also works in the medical field, and dropped everything to come over today and talk with me. I told her that I didn't tell her my journey with Vicodin because I didn't want a lecture from her (she is the oldest of 7 girls, and is the ring leader)... she is very caring and supportive. THIS IS A WONDEFUL sight, and Im so glad that I found it. Thanks to everyone for caring and support to a stranger that just joined. I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU..... Shabee
