Violant / Abusive

MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN USING METH FOR APROX 2 YRS NOW. SHE HAS A RELATIONSHIP WITH PAWN SHOPS, I LET HER BORROW MY VEHICLES WHILE HERS WAS BEING REPAIRED AND SHE HAS LET OTHER PEOPLE DRIVE THEM AND HAS TOTALED HERS AND MINE.
MY WAS COVERED BY INSURANCE HERS WAS NOT SO NOW SHE DOESN'T HAVE HER OWN VEHICLE TO DRIVE. I FIRED HER FROM OUR FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS APROX 1 YR AGO. I HAVE LET HER RENT A HOME FROM ME AND IT BECAME A DRUG HOUSE FULL OF THIEVES. THEY WOULD STEAL FROM HER . SHE MET A BOY AND THEY MOVED OUT OF THERE UPON MY INSISTANCE INTO A CONDO I ALSO OWNED
THINKING SHE MIGHT RELIZE THE DRUG THING WAS REALLY BAD AND SHE WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE THAT WAY. ALSO BY LIVING AT THE CONDO SHE WOULD HAVE TO OBEY SOME RULES. WELL AFTER SEVERAL PARKING / CODE VIOLATIONS AND OTHER TENANTS COMPLAINING ABOUT FIGHTING AND DRUG SUSPISION SHE WAS BEING FORCED TO MOVE FROM THERE INTO MY HOUSE. SHE IS NOW IN MY HOUSE AND ITS A FIGHT EVERYDAY. THE CAR TO GET CIGS/GROC STORE,FOR HOURS AT A TIME, BUT SHE TELLS ME ITS 10 MIN. NOW HER AND HER BOYFRIEND WERE FIGHTING AND SOMEONE CALLED POLICE SAYING HE WAS HITTING HER. SHE SAID HE WASN'T HITTING HER. WELL HE HAD TWO WARRANTS FOR TRAFFIC VIOL AND WAS ARRESTED. THEY THEN SEARCHED THE VEHICLE AND FOUND DRUGS
NO CHARGES FOR THE DRUGS AS THEY RELEASED HER SAYING IT WAS GOING TO BE INVESTIGATED. SO CHARGES TO COME I ASSUME.
I'VE LIMITED HER CAR USE NOW AND SHE HAS THREATEND ME DAILY
SAYING SHES GOING TO KILL ME AND BURN DOWN MY HOUSE.
IS THIS REALLY ABNORMAL FOR SOMEONE COMING OFF THE DRUG?
SHE WASN'T LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I'M PRAYING SHE'LL COME BACK
TO BEING THE CARING BIG HEARTED PERSON SHE USE TO BE.
DEAR LYNNIA,

AS A MOTHER OF A FORMER METH USER I KNOW THE PAIN YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, MY DAUGHTER LIED STOLE DID EVEYTHING AND ANYTHING TO GET THE DRUGS SHE WANTED. WE ALSO LET HER MOVE BACK INTO THE HOME AFTER SHE RAN AWAY AT 16. I WAS MAKING HER CAR PAYMENT FOR HER WHICH SHE WRECKED DRUNK. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT I THROUGH HER OUT ONTO THE STREETS THIS WAS THE HARDEST DECISION I HAD TO MAKE. I DID NOT HERE FROM HER FOR FOUR MONTHS. EVERYDAY WAS HELL. BUT LIVING WITH HER WAS ALSO HELL IT WASN'T FAIR TO MY OTHER KIDS. SHE IS NOW A VP FOR A LARGE CORP THAT DEALS WITH DRUGS PUT HERSELF THROUGH SCHOOL AND NEVER ASKED FOR ANOTHER THING BUT OUR FORGIVENESS. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS THE ONLY WAY BUT SHE CAME TO ME AND SAID IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID FOR HER. MY PRAYES ARE WITH YOU. THE PROBLEM IS UNTILL THEY HIT BOTTOM OR YELL HELP WE AS MOTHERS GO THROUGH THE HELL WITH THEM. STAY STRONG AND REMEMBER YOU ARE THE PARENT NOT HER BEST FRIEND AT THIS TIME.

SUE
Hi Lynnia,

My heart goes out to you. You might not like what I'm am about to say but I say it from personal and professional experience. Meth has away of turning wonderful people into very ugly heartless people and from what I read on your post that is how it has been for your daughter. It affect the part of the brain were a person's values, morals, and feelings are distorted. Things one used to care about no longer matters. People they love are put aside and the only thing that becomes important is getting high. Anyone standing in the way will get pushed out of the way. It's not personal It's addiction and it hurts the people involved. What I tell people( I work with addicts and their families) is an Addict is going to get away with whatever they can. So as long as you are letting your daughter treat you the way she does she will continue. I know putting her out on the street is a very difficult thing to do. I know because I have a daughter out there. It doesn't mean I don't worry about her everyday and pray for her everynight or that I don't love her with all my heart. It means I can't help her until she is willing to help herself and as long as she dosen't see her drug use as a problem there is nothing I can do to talk her into it. So I have to set boundaries for myself about what I am willing to do and not do. Yes it's hard . When your a mom the need to take care of your child is what we do, however when someone is caught up in their addiction there is only so much one can do for them. I'm not saying to throw her away. What I am saying is take care of yourself. Get a support system. You might want to tell her you can help her get into treatment, support her when she finds recovery, but as long as she is using she doesn't get to treat you the way she has or behave the way she has, not around you anyway. Just a thought. Take care,
Love and support,
Recovey Happens
Coming from a long time user, RecoveryHappens is right.The only realization a user will have, that they have a problem is hitting bottom . As a parent your best action would be to make the bottom hit 'em in the a** even sooner. I dont think anything is harder for a loving parent to do, but to allow it to continue is a path full of very severe consequences.......to everyone.Something I want to ask , are they drinking a lot of alcohol?? The last time I tried quitting I was drinking a lot also. I was extremely angry most of the time. This time I am staying off of everything, and am told I am entirely different, just wondering and looking for answers. I wish you the best, it is a long and difficult battle , but one worth fighting
I had originally thought my daughter was using cocaine....I believe I was wrong. She married a self professed "freak"......she only knew him 4 months, married him him behind my back and hasn't talked to me in a month. I took her car.....it was in my name....payments, sticker, insurance....she wasn't paying.....so, I took it. I met with her and him.....I told her she could get her car, I got up to go to the bathroom and she started hitting me......she was sobbing like a "wounded animal." She told me she's been losing weight.,.....he has isolated her from everyone we knew......my best friend went to where she worked the other day.....she ran in the back and wouldn't talk to her.
We were very close.....she always called me the best mom in the world...till he came along. She won't talk to me at all....I am so afraid for her.....what can I do? I hope at some point she wakes up......he is a liar and a loser. They have nothing.......they don't pay their bills and have no credit.....sex and I assume drugs is all they have. Maybe I'm wrong....but she is not herself anymore.....what can I do?