This week has been especially difficult for me. I've been wanting to drink and I feel so annoyed with everyone around me especially my husband. I usually get up in the morning at 530 or 6 am. I am a morning person and I love to be alone and do my own thing. That is MY time and it's when I do most of my writing on board and stuff Last couple of mornings he's been up and just across the room from me. It is driving me nuts. I feel like my alone time is been taken away. I feel anger anyway because I feel stuck sometimes in a relationship I am not sure I want to stay in anymore. Some issues that I am not saying here bothers me and when I drank could just ignore it. It's always to ignore stuff when you are drunk as you all know.Now that I am sober I am still dealing with the crap that I was trying to deal with drunk only now I have to do it sober. This week has been especially difficult for me because I have so much to deal with and I am finally admitting to myself that I wonder if this relationship is doing me any good. I think I want out but then again half the time I don't know what the f... I want.told my counsellor too that I think I want out but there are too many people that would be hurt by it,him especially I know this sounds like a self pity trip and maybe it is but I just had to vent. MY friend stayed with me last evening for 3 hours to support me so I have lots of positive things in my life but this s*** of addiction still sucks.Thanks guys for letting me rave and rant yet again.
Pirate........Good Saturday Morning.
The minds racing,eh? Do you have any meditation books on hand?
I've got mine right here so let's read something together.I'll make it simple.
CONFLICT.............Basic Text,p.87
We learn that conflicts are a part of reality,and we learn new ways to resolve them instead of running from them."
All you have to do right now is quite your mind long enough to think of a solution.You need your quiet time and I'm sure your husband will find nothing unreasonable about that.What's 5-10 minutes?Have you asked him in a nice way that you need that and any disturbance distracts you?
I am exactly like you.The mornings are mine.I spend that time reading my meditation books,praying and then I go run.I get everything done by 8"00am.
I don't have a partner so that makes it easier for me.
When I'm getting the most irritable,it never really is about what someone else is doing.
Yeah,using helped me coast through all this with relative ease for awhile, but I wasn't getting rid of anything.When the dam broke,all those feelings I was so adept at stuffing,came at me all at once.The problem was that my maturity skills were about 12 years old.
Thanks for reading with me this morning.It sure helped me.
The minds racing,eh? Do you have any meditation books on hand?
I've got mine right here so let's read something together.I'll make it simple.
CONFLICT.............Basic Text,p.87
We learn that conflicts are a part of reality,and we learn new ways to resolve them instead of running from them."
All you have to do right now is quite your mind long enough to think of a solution.You need your quiet time and I'm sure your husband will find nothing unreasonable about that.What's 5-10 minutes?Have you asked him in a nice way that you need that and any disturbance distracts you?
I am exactly like you.The mornings are mine.I spend that time reading my meditation books,praying and then I go run.I get everything done by 8"00am.
I don't have a partner so that makes it easier for me.
When I'm getting the most irritable,it never really is about what someone else is doing.
Yeah,using helped me coast through all this with relative ease for awhile, but I wasn't getting rid of anything.When the dam broke,all those feelings I was so adept at stuffing,came at me all at once.The problem was that my maturity skills were about 12 years old.
Thanks for reading with me this morning.It sure helped me.
thanks Tim the urge is getting worse though. I am having MAJOR problems today that I have not posted on here and for today I can't but I am seriously considering just getting a bottle of booze and drink till I am too drunk to remember or care about what is happening in my life.I just want to escape and I know I desperately need help this morning and I will try and get hold of my sponsor and until I do all I have is this board. F...k I hurt so much. I am so defeated. My life is a total f***in messEven now as I am typing this he is telling me what a sick person I am and why I should not be doing this,typing to you guys while I am upset and angry . I hate this f***ing situation I am in.
hey Guys its me again. I am totally freakin out here. I don't think I am going to make it through the day. It is so hard and the urge is so strong. Husband gone outside now for a bit. He was saying to me that what are you guys going to think of me getting on here and ranting and raving and that when I calm down I am going be ashamed and embarressed about carrying on. I resent him so much today. If I am not this perfect person ,if I look after me for once,If I let my flaws show through I have to be made feel bad. It's like I am not allowed to do or feel anything and believe me I have every reason to feel the way I do this morning. I know its not a reason to drink but Its a goddam good excuse to.I think this marriage is over for me. The last hurtful thing has been said that I think finished off any feeling that I should feel as a wife. There are more than ways than one to betray someone and that has been done this morning.If I am ranting and raving and a SICK person then so be it thats what I am. I can accept that what I can't accept is the betrayal from him of something that is going on in our lives right now.
Gidday Pirate
Please pause and collect your thoughts and allow a bit of the anger, resentment, fear and betrayal you are feeling to go.....ok ok and if you do drink yeah it will fix your head and your husband for the time you stay drunk BUT it will not help the desire in you to be sober for your daughter and others in your life that you are there for
Pause when agitated, keep typing, go somewhere else where you can talk to someone or just tell him to F off the thing is you have to do something different instead of the old habit of drinking, there is positives in this even in the pain you may be realising things you have known deep down for ages...Pause
Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful and it wants you to drink, be strong you can get through this
light and love Zac
Please pause and collect your thoughts and allow a bit of the anger, resentment, fear and betrayal you are feeling to go.....ok ok and if you do drink yeah it will fix your head and your husband for the time you stay drunk BUT it will not help the desire in you to be sober for your daughter and others in your life that you are there for
Pause when agitated, keep typing, go somewhere else where you can talk to someone or just tell him to F off the thing is you have to do something different instead of the old habit of drinking, there is positives in this even in the pain you may be realising things you have known deep down for ages...Pause
Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful and it wants you to drink, be strong you can get through this
light and love Zac
Getting drunk isn't going to change the status of your marriage woes.Freak out all you want.Do you really think for a moment anyone thinks less of you? If it means allowing you to go one more minute without picking up,I could care less what you share here.I have exposed myself on here plenty of times because it's things I needed to get out.At the end of the day I was still sober regardless if anyone thought less of me.
Hold on for even 5 minutes and things will change.Why don't you e-mail me if you need to write some more.timlincoln@aol.com and can't get ahold of your sponsor.
I don't know what's happening in your life but it doesn't matter in the scheme of things.A drink is not going to make anything better.If you are thinking it's going to punish someone,well you're right.You.
Keep posting.I notice Kat's up so talk to her too.
Hold on for even 5 minutes and things will change.Why don't you e-mail me if you need to write some more.timlincoln@aol.com and can't get ahold of your sponsor.
I don't know what's happening in your life but it doesn't matter in the scheme of things.A drink is not going to make anything better.If you are thinking it's going to punish someone,well you're right.You.
Keep posting.I notice Kat's up so talk to her too.
Thanks Zac.You obviously have a lot of friends on here Pirate.I don't know you but it doesn't matter.I am no different.Hang in there.
Gidday Tim and Pirate
We all know each other enough via addiction and the mind F it can be at times especially when the heat is on, im half a world away and my thoughts and energy are being sent to you Pirate...post when you can and thanks also Tim:)
light and love Zac
We all know each other enough via addiction and the mind F it can be at times especially when the heat is on, im half a world away and my thoughts and energy are being sent to you Pirate...post when you can and thanks also Tim:)
light and love Zac
pirate, I am a pill addict, never was into the drinking, but it doesnt matter, what matters is from a pp perspective, those of you who are alcoholics, have my utmost respect. why? It is everywhere. Pills are not. I applaud you for not drinking.
I wont sit here and pretend I know what you are feeling, because I don't, but what I do know is this. If pills were on every shelf, or they had PBC stores instead if ABC, I know it would be hard to not walk in there and grab a few hundred bottles.
What I am trying to say is this, if you drink your woes away, they will be there when you sober up, going back to drinking isn't going to help the situation. But you know all of this, we all know this.
Instead of drinking or focusing on 'i want to get drunk', how about trying to change the brain to focus on. Focus on you, and not drinking for the next 15 minutes, or the next minute.
Hell, if you have to get up get dressed and head to a gym, or take a walk or run. If you have pets, take them for a walk, anything to divert your mind.
Get outside, look at the sun, do anything, but sit and think. Diversion.
PUT all your energy into trying to find a solution to bring peace within you. Not trying to take that energy from you. And drinking will zap every thought or energy you have, only if it is temporary, then you are back where you started.
Remember the hell you went thru to get sober, never forget that. If anything, do this for you. NOT him.
I sense the desperation in your words. Do you have anyone you can call like now? A sponsor? A friend, or family member, anyone, except the bottle.
Remember the bottle is your enemy, sounds like your husband is too, now do you want TWO of your enemy's taking you down? You are stronger than that. Get up and fight for you.
I know if it were me, I would want to remain in a clear state of mind, to deal with whatever comes up so i could handle it with the fierceness.
You can and will do this. What you wont do is drink. At least not at this moment. Take deep deep breaths. Calm the mind.
I wont sit here and pretend I know what you are feeling, because I don't, but what I do know is this. If pills were on every shelf, or they had PBC stores instead if ABC, I know it would be hard to not walk in there and grab a few hundred bottles.
What I am trying to say is this, if you drink your woes away, they will be there when you sober up, going back to drinking isn't going to help the situation. But you know all of this, we all know this.
Instead of drinking or focusing on 'i want to get drunk', how about trying to change the brain to focus on. Focus on you, and not drinking for the next 15 minutes, or the next minute.
Hell, if you have to get up get dressed and head to a gym, or take a walk or run. If you have pets, take them for a walk, anything to divert your mind.
Get outside, look at the sun, do anything, but sit and think. Diversion.
PUT all your energy into trying to find a solution to bring peace within you. Not trying to take that energy from you. And drinking will zap every thought or energy you have, only if it is temporary, then you are back where you started.
Remember the hell you went thru to get sober, never forget that. If anything, do this for you. NOT him.
I sense the desperation in your words. Do you have anyone you can call like now? A sponsor? A friend, or family member, anyone, except the bottle.
Remember the bottle is your enemy, sounds like your husband is too, now do you want TWO of your enemy's taking you down? You are stronger than that. Get up and fight for you.
I know if it were me, I would want to remain in a clear state of mind, to deal with whatever comes up so i could handle it with the fierceness.
You can and will do this. What you wont do is drink. At least not at this moment. Take deep deep breaths. Calm the mind.
Marie
The BB says sometimes the only thing between us and a drink is our Higher Power. It also says prayer is a very powerful thing. Now is the time to get down on your knees and ask Someone to take away your desire to drink. No one ever got drunk while praying to not drink. You know a drink is not the answer to your problems. You aren't stupid. You're just another drunk like me. Just for today, don't drink. Maybe tomorrow but not today. You can do that, right? I don't care how far away meetings are from you. It's time to hit at least one a week. You need face to face fellowship. Hang on. Pray. Don't drink.
The BB says sometimes the only thing between us and a drink is our Higher Power. It also says prayer is a very powerful thing. Now is the time to get down on your knees and ask Someone to take away your desire to drink. No one ever got drunk while praying to not drink. You know a drink is not the answer to your problems. You aren't stupid. You're just another drunk like me. Just for today, don't drink. Maybe tomorrow but not today. You can do that, right? I don't care how far away meetings are from you. It's time to hit at least one a week. You need face to face fellowship. Hang on. Pray. Don't drink.
Hi pirate,
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I don't know what's going on in your life but I know a bit about being a partner and I could make some guesses about your husband.....I've heard it said that recovery is a challenging time for partners as well as recovering alcoholics....and I've seen/heard enough on the Al-anon side to know it can get very tricky when the dynamic changes....email me if you like...all I can do is guess and you can take what you like....
As for drinking you know the answer....I know when I was feeling it a few months ago it was a part of me calling me to oblivion, a little death....a roaring raging "f*** the world!".....and underneath that noisy, angry "strong me" part was the crafty sly, part of me that was strengthened EVERY time I listened to that raging fool.....the sly part of me that was whispering in my ear that I'm no good...not worth love...not worth life....always failing...always will....alcohol is IT'S weapon of choice, designed to lead to my torture, insanity and death.
It's your enemy pirate. Always was, always will be.
You deserve a good life pirate, whatever you choose to do with your relationship....you ARE free to choose....life has pain and it CANNOT be avoided....we can't always keep taking it onto/into ourselves, we can't take on others pain....and every time we are tempted to avoid being true to ourselves we pay a price....
What is your HP saying pirate? Listen.......take a deep breath....nothing has to be decided today....not about relationships....not about drinking....one day at a time....just don't drink today and tomorrow you can listen quietly to your HP.
Take care,
Martin.
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I don't know what's going on in your life but I know a bit about being a partner and I could make some guesses about your husband.....I've heard it said that recovery is a challenging time for partners as well as recovering alcoholics....and I've seen/heard enough on the Al-anon side to know it can get very tricky when the dynamic changes....email me if you like...all I can do is guess and you can take what you like....
As for drinking you know the answer....I know when I was feeling it a few months ago it was a part of me calling me to oblivion, a little death....a roaring raging "f*** the world!".....and underneath that noisy, angry "strong me" part was the crafty sly, part of me that was strengthened EVERY time I listened to that raging fool.....the sly part of me that was whispering in my ear that I'm no good...not worth love...not worth life....always failing...always will....alcohol is IT'S weapon of choice, designed to lead to my torture, insanity and death.
It's your enemy pirate. Always was, always will be.
You deserve a good life pirate, whatever you choose to do with your relationship....you ARE free to choose....life has pain and it CANNOT be avoided....we can't always keep taking it onto/into ourselves, we can't take on others pain....and every time we are tempted to avoid being true to ourselves we pay a price....
What is your HP saying pirate? Listen.......take a deep breath....nothing has to be decided today....not about relationships....not about drinking....one day at a time....just don't drink today and tomorrow you can listen quietly to your HP.
Take care,
Martin.
{{{{{{ Marie }}}}}, Positive vibes and hugs sent your way Pirate. Remember as you are changing so is the dynamic of your marriage. Many times our partners don't know what to do with us once we are getting well. They are so used to us in our weakened drunken state that once we are sober they don't have the control anymore. Sounds like a bit of codependency going on with him. There may be a part of him that subconsciously wants you to stay the way you were.
Fight it Marie. You can do this! If you think you are depressed and feeling hopeless now.....imagine how you will feel if you pick up.
I used to come on here and spill like there was no tomorrow. Hell I just did it a few days ago. You keep writing if it will help you. No one will EVER judge you. If your husband says that again you can just smile because you will know it's NOT TRUE!
Hang in there! Don't drink over this. This too shall pass. btw..YGM
XX Valarie
Fight it Marie. You can do this! If you think you are depressed and feeling hopeless now.....imagine how you will feel if you pick up.
I used to come on here and spill like there was no tomorrow. Hell I just did it a few days ago. You keep writing if it will help you. No one will EVER judge you. If your husband says that again you can just smile because you will know it's NOT TRUE!
Hang in there! Don't drink over this. This too shall pass. btw..YGM
XX Valarie
Pirate,
Allowing myself to be a victim is no longer an option for me. Passive aggression isn't an answer because in order for ME to stay sober, I have to stop fighting everything and everyone and focus on my sobriety. Those around me had noticed the change and they, too, became frightened--fear that their control dynamic might change, that the one they loved might no longer find them adequate, that I might be looking for someone or something else. Remember what we said about fear? This is why we have sponsors and groups and advisors--to advise us through the changes because we are unaware of what they really mean. You're growing. You're gaining sobriety and you're changing. It's natural for him to wonder. Guys have an ownership thing and it's physical--and the insecurity of not knowing can result in lashing out.
My wife, not too long ago, actually told me that, "Sometimes I think I liked you better when you were drinking," because she was scared. The control of my being drunk and apologizing all the time seemed almost better than not knowing, and I had to remind her that I wasn't worth a s*** to her as a drunk, and that sobriety had to come first--but that she was my lifetime partner and love. I was just changing and I welcomed her to be a part of it. We talk more now. We laugh together more. We're partners, not dependents. Remember, it's not ALWAYS about you when you're growing in spirituality--and getting healthy means that EVERY thing must change.
Don't make any hasty decisions, and remember that expectations are resentments waiting to happen. He's concerned--take that for what it is--and communicate. Don't whine, don't give him the silent treatment. He has loved you through your drunkeness and you've embarrassed him plenty, I'm sure. Give him the chance to be a part of your recovery, too. Your marriage will be far richer as a result.
Finally, don't do anything stupid. The first year of recovery is about changing. The second is about adapting the 'new you.' Focus on your recovery and let those that love you, well, LOVE YOU.
Allowing myself to be a victim is no longer an option for me. Passive aggression isn't an answer because in order for ME to stay sober, I have to stop fighting everything and everyone and focus on my sobriety. Those around me had noticed the change and they, too, became frightened--fear that their control dynamic might change, that the one they loved might no longer find them adequate, that I might be looking for someone or something else. Remember what we said about fear? This is why we have sponsors and groups and advisors--to advise us through the changes because we are unaware of what they really mean. You're growing. You're gaining sobriety and you're changing. It's natural for him to wonder. Guys have an ownership thing and it's physical--and the insecurity of not knowing can result in lashing out.
My wife, not too long ago, actually told me that, "Sometimes I think I liked you better when you were drinking," because she was scared. The control of my being drunk and apologizing all the time seemed almost better than not knowing, and I had to remind her that I wasn't worth a s*** to her as a drunk, and that sobriety had to come first--but that she was my lifetime partner and love. I was just changing and I welcomed her to be a part of it. We talk more now. We laugh together more. We're partners, not dependents. Remember, it's not ALWAYS about you when you're growing in spirituality--and getting healthy means that EVERY thing must change.
Don't make any hasty decisions, and remember that expectations are resentments waiting to happen. He's concerned--take that for what it is--and communicate. Don't whine, don't give him the silent treatment. He has loved you through your drunkeness and you've embarrassed him plenty, I'm sure. Give him the chance to be a part of your recovery, too. Your marriage will be far richer as a result.
Finally, don't do anything stupid. The first year of recovery is about changing. The second is about adapting the 'new you.' Focus on your recovery and let those that love you, well, LOVE YOU.
Pirate, I took the liberty of consolidating some of your posts, I do hope you don't mind.. Print these out and read them when you want to drink.
pirate Posted: May 2, 2008, 4:51 AM
I will not drink today because I know if I take just one I would not be able to stop.
pirate Posted: April 29, 2008, 10:14 AM
I will not drink today because I am done with it. It is a thing of the past that I don't want to bring forward to the future. It has no room in my life anymore.
Posted: April 30, 2008, 6:21 AM
I will not drink today because I am an alcoholic.
pirate Posted: April 22, 2008, 3:12 PM
I will not drink today because I still have to deal with things I did while I was drinking so I really don't want to add anymore to the stupid things I've done .and I know I would if I were to drink.
pirate Posted: April 23, 2008, 10:20 AM
I will not drink today because I am beginning to see the light at the top of the deep dark pit that I have been trying to crawl out of and I ain't gonna let myself fall back in.
pirate Posted: April 27, 2008, 12:24 PM
I will not drink today because I have no reason too. not one
Posted: April 17, 2008, 9:52 AM
I will not drink today because I have 15 weeks sober now and I don;t want to send myself back to hell.
pirate Posted: April 20, 2008, 2:41 PM
I will not drink today because I feel too good and healthy and alive to ruin it all by handing my life back to alcohol.
Posted: April 12, 2008, 4:55 PM
I will not drink today because I have FREEDOM to enjoy this beautiful day we are having.
Posted: March 31, 2008, 3:00 PM
I will not drink today nor tonight because I do not belong in the world of the walking dead anymore. I now belong to a world that is for the LIVING.
Posted: April 3, 2008, 6:20 AM
I will not drink today because it's been 13 weeks today since I had a drink and I wouldn't want to break my record.
pirate Posted: April 6, 2008, 9:47 AM
I will not drink today because I won't let myself to. (one day at a time)
Posted: March 23, 2008, 8:50 AM
I will not drink today because I would gain nothing by doing so and lose a lot if I did.
Posted: March 24, 2008, 11:30 AM
I won't drink today because with the way I am feeling I know one drink would send me into a downward spiral of a big binge and I don't want that to happen.
Posted: March 25, 2008, 10:56 AM
I will not drink today because I have free will and I chose to live my life instead of being a slave to the bottle.
Posted: March 26, 2008, 12:57 PM
I will not drink today because I am an alcoholic.
pirate Posted: March 27, 2008, 9:26 AM
I will not drink today because I have 12 weeks of being clean and if I did drink, everything that I have done to accomplish this would all be in vain.
Posted: March 28, 2008, 6:39 AM
I will not drink today because I have plans for today and drinking would keep me from doing them.
pirate Posted: March 17, 2008, 12:22 PM
I will not drink today because my will power is stronger than the need to drink is.
Posted: March 1, 2008, 12:40 PM
I will not drink today because I want to recover completely and live a normal life like God intended me to live.
pirate Posted: March 7, 2008, 5:42 AM
I will not drink today because I am becoming my own person,and beginning to find my own way without needing booze as a crutch.
Posted: March 9, 2008, 12:54 PM
I will not drink because I have too many problems to deal with today that drinking would only make worse
Last but not least.
pirate Posted: March 10, 2008, 12:43 PM
I will not drink today because I have to there for my daughter who needs her mom now at this time in her life.
--------------------
pirate Posted: May 2, 2008, 4:51 AM
I will not drink today because I know if I take just one I would not be able to stop.
pirate Posted: April 29, 2008, 10:14 AM
I will not drink today because I am done with it. It is a thing of the past that I don't want to bring forward to the future. It has no room in my life anymore.
Posted: April 30, 2008, 6:21 AM
I will not drink today because I am an alcoholic.
pirate Posted: April 22, 2008, 3:12 PM
I will not drink today because I still have to deal with things I did while I was drinking so I really don't want to add anymore to the stupid things I've done .and I know I would if I were to drink.
pirate Posted: April 23, 2008, 10:20 AM
I will not drink today because I am beginning to see the light at the top of the deep dark pit that I have been trying to crawl out of and I ain't gonna let myself fall back in.
pirate Posted: April 27, 2008, 12:24 PM
I will not drink today because I have no reason too. not one
Posted: April 17, 2008, 9:52 AM
I will not drink today because I have 15 weeks sober now and I don;t want to send myself back to hell.
pirate Posted: April 20, 2008, 2:41 PM
I will not drink today because I feel too good and healthy and alive to ruin it all by handing my life back to alcohol.
Posted: April 12, 2008, 4:55 PM
I will not drink today because I have FREEDOM to enjoy this beautiful day we are having.
Posted: March 31, 2008, 3:00 PM
I will not drink today nor tonight because I do not belong in the world of the walking dead anymore. I now belong to a world that is for the LIVING.
Posted: April 3, 2008, 6:20 AM
I will not drink today because it's been 13 weeks today since I had a drink and I wouldn't want to break my record.
pirate Posted: April 6, 2008, 9:47 AM
I will not drink today because I won't let myself to. (one day at a time)
Posted: March 23, 2008, 8:50 AM
I will not drink today because I would gain nothing by doing so and lose a lot if I did.
Posted: March 24, 2008, 11:30 AM
I won't drink today because with the way I am feeling I know one drink would send me into a downward spiral of a big binge and I don't want that to happen.
Posted: March 25, 2008, 10:56 AM
I will not drink today because I have free will and I chose to live my life instead of being a slave to the bottle.
Posted: March 26, 2008, 12:57 PM
I will not drink today because I am an alcoholic.
pirate Posted: March 27, 2008, 9:26 AM
I will not drink today because I have 12 weeks of being clean and if I did drink, everything that I have done to accomplish this would all be in vain.
Posted: March 28, 2008, 6:39 AM
I will not drink today because I have plans for today and drinking would keep me from doing them.
pirate Posted: March 17, 2008, 12:22 PM
I will not drink today because my will power is stronger than the need to drink is.
Posted: March 1, 2008, 12:40 PM
I will not drink today because I want to recover completely and live a normal life like God intended me to live.
pirate Posted: March 7, 2008, 5:42 AM
I will not drink today because I am becoming my own person,and beginning to find my own way without needing booze as a crutch.
Posted: March 9, 2008, 12:54 PM
I will not drink because I have too many problems to deal with today that drinking would only make worse
Last but not least.
pirate Posted: March 10, 2008, 12:43 PM
I will not drink today because I have to there for my daughter who needs her mom now at this time in her life.
--------------------
How you doing pirate?
When I read the amazing posts on this thread it is absolutely clear that people here really care about you. They know you and they know you deserve to be safe, healthy and happy. You are amongst friends.
Take care, God bless,
Martin
When I read the amazing posts on this thread it is absolutely clear that people here really care about you. They know you and they know you deserve to be safe, healthy and happy. You are amongst friends.
Take care, God bless,
Martin
Absolutely Awesome Brooke! Thanks for taking your time to do that.I'm blown away by all the un-selfish acts around here lately.
Please check in Pirate and let us know how you are.
Thanks,Tim
Please check in Pirate and let us know how you are.
Thanks,Tim
Yeah, I should have said that to Brooke because I thought it. And so....
Skg, I I loved your post too. It seems to me to come from deep in your heart.
Thanks Tim.
Skg, I I loved your post too. It seems to me to come from deep in your heart.
Thanks Tim.
Pirate I just want to send you a big hug... and lots of love... I hope you make it through...
From Izzy X
From Izzy X
Hi Pirate
Its amazing where my scenario thinking can take me in regards to how you are and i remember the same when Jayde was posting and last night when i went to bed i sleep easy because i can hand it over and allow my higher power to deal with it instead of a complicating mind, yeah when i woke at night for the loo or a wife that snores enough to remove plaster...next door evenLOL...i still wondered how you are and sent energy and i get up this morning and read all the support and extra that people who understand do and i am grateful to be part of a world that does care and is active in that caring
light and love Zac
Its amazing where my scenario thinking can take me in regards to how you are and i remember the same when Jayde was posting and last night when i went to bed i sleep easy because i can hand it over and allow my higher power to deal with it instead of a complicating mind, yeah when i woke at night for the loo or a wife that snores enough to remove plaster...next door evenLOL...i still wondered how you are and sent energy and i get up this morning and read all the support and extra that people who understand do and i am grateful to be part of a world that does care and is active in that caring
light and love Zac
Hey there guys. I have to say I am totally overwhelmed with all the responses. I feel so humbled right now. I thank God for all of you.THANK YOU SO MUCH. I certainly feel a lot of support here. You will be happy to know that I did not drink but it was one of the worse days in my recovery. I came so very very close to it many times throughout the day. however I am going to take some medication that was prescribed for me earlier to help me relax. They tell me its ok to do just for tonight because I am really distraught.Your prayers and positive vibes must have helped because something kept me from picking up and I don't think it was me. I don't feel very strong today.I feel defeated and betrayed. It's not even really anger I feel but a deep sense of hurt.I went for a walk with a friend and then when I came back I did manage to get in contact with my sponsor. I have been in contact with him several times today and I went to another friends house for a while who is one of my biggest supporters. I am so thankful to have great friends who care and that includes you guys. The urge is still there to drink and I am still feeling really down over what was said to me.I told my sponsor what it was and he was totally blown away from it all and he said he could definitely understand why I would feel like I would want to drink. The problem and the hurt was not over my drinking but another matter. I am so deeply hurt. I am glad to have this place to come to because it do help me a lot. Brook,thank you for taking the time to consoldiate my previous posts that was awesome of you to do that. I can't believe that a stranger would take the time to do that for someone they don't know to make one feel better. God bless you. I am too tired to write anymore It's been a very difficult day but I want you all to know that my heart is filled with love and gratitude for each and everyone of you. Thank you so much for your support it means a REAL LOT to me. God bless you all.
