I doubt this is just me.......no matter how much clean time you have, and how hard you try, and the effort you give this happens:
Someone is angry at you.......it can be about anything.....not even related to drugs........you get your past thrown smack in your face.
No matter you had been forgiven a long time ago......maybe you have distension with someone........you call them on their chit.......no matter.
You will always, always, always have it thrown in your face what you did, and what you stole, and how your hurt people, and it makes you wonder just why the heck you didn't keep using...........why you ever told.......why you thought people closest to you would not throw in your face your heroin addiction.
You're pegged for life...........you messed up, and you will pay for the mistake you made by having someone throw in all the messed up stuff you did.
I hate this.
Amen to that, but f*** those people! Getting wasted ends up s***ting on you and no one else in the end, so why give in? Call them on thier bulls*** by staying sober. My mom is going to go get pain killers tomorrow for her back... waaa... poor f***ing baby her. I have real f***ing back problems, don't see me taking s*** but tylenol. I am ready to throw chairs around.
Bryn
Hi Ya
If i was that person i would be having thoughts of starting over again, somewhere fresh where i could build on new relationships ect.
If i was that person i would'nt stand for it, repeatly being said what i have done in the past.
One thing i do know is that i would not keep apoligizing for all of my mistakes that i made while i was using.
If they were to keep putting all of that crap in my face i would have to remove myself from their space permantly.
Thinking of ya Bryn
Emily
Hi Ya
If i was that person i would be having thoughts of starting over again, somewhere fresh where i could build on new relationships ect.
If i was that person i would'nt stand for it, repeatly being said what i have done in the past.
One thing i do know is that i would not keep apoligizing for all of my mistakes that i made while i was using.
If they were to keep putting all of that crap in my face i would have to remove myself from their space permantly.
Thinking of ya Bryn
Emily
YOU ARE NOT PEGGED FOR LIFE.....
EVER.....
Deep breath in deep one out if that doesn't help then god damn it throw something a window....Hope you are laughing that was me not being serious as usual.
This might help. I found it more than interesting and so uncomplicated.....
Not sure who the credit goes to Silent Partner or Cynical but it was something that was uncomplicated and made to much sense.....
It is a work in progress always for all of us and that in itself I think is a good thing as we are still able to learn and not think we have all the answers.....
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Dont Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Dont Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
EVER.....
Deep breath in deep one out if that doesn't help then god damn it throw something a window....Hope you are laughing that was me not being serious as usual.
This might help. I found it more than interesting and so uncomplicated.....
Not sure who the credit goes to Silent Partner or Cynical but it was something that was uncomplicated and made to much sense.....
It is a work in progress always for all of us and that in itself I think is a good thing as we are still able to learn and not think we have all the answers.....
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Dont Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Dont Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
..Bryn..
..I don,t know if you ever feel like this..but when i see sumone who i done wrong to or stole off..i automatically think of wot i,ve done to them in the past..and maybe the people your talking about are the same wit you..its like a verbal weapon for them to keep hitting you wit everytime they wanna remind you of wot you,ve done..when i use to argue wit my sister or brother..they use to give me the same bulls***..about wot i,ve done to them or wot i,ve done drugwise in the past..and also remind me of how they helped me..as easy as it is for me to say this to you..cos we all show are emotions and attitude differently..but i don,t let them drag me down no more..of course it hurts to be reminded of our past..but we,ve made our apologies and wotever else we done to let them know how sorry we are..but if we keep letting it affect us..we will never be able to move on from it..as i said earlier..we will never forget wot we did to our family or friends..but we should be allowed to move on from it by them and they should stop dragging up our past just cos they,re in a moment of anger..hope that makes sense.lol..Robbie..
..I don,t know if you ever feel like this..but when i see sumone who i done wrong to or stole off..i automatically think of wot i,ve done to them in the past..and maybe the people your talking about are the same wit you..its like a verbal weapon for them to keep hitting you wit everytime they wanna remind you of wot you,ve done..when i use to argue wit my sister or brother..they use to give me the same bulls***..about wot i,ve done to them or wot i,ve done drugwise in the past..and also remind me of how they helped me..as easy as it is for me to say this to you..cos we all show are emotions and attitude differently..but i don,t let them drag me down no more..of course it hurts to be reminded of our past..but we,ve made our apologies and wotever else we done to let them know how sorry we are..but if we keep letting it affect us..we will never be able to move on from it..as i said earlier..we will never forget wot we did to our family or friends..but we should be allowed to move on from it by them and they should stop dragging up our past just cos they,re in a moment of anger..hope that makes sense.lol..Robbie..
Bryn,From what you say someone has obviously thrown up yr. past in yr. face & that's not fighting fair.You got 2 yr clean & from what you write you seem mighty strong in yr. attitude to sobriety:No Going Back.You are to be commended for your journey so far.I hope this is not a person you have to deal w/ daily.There's no pleasing some people. But YOU Stay Strong, girl.Remember the old cigarette ad:You've come a long way, Baby.Bless you-alaska
