I just want to make this real short cause I am walking out the door and will be back on later! In your opinions which option was best for you and why? I can't see myself going to a meeting even though I am a people person and I have taken pills on and off since 1994. I have been clean for the whole year of 1998 and then started again. Then in 2002 and then started again and then from August 2003 til April 2004. Now I have completely weaned myself down to one 5 mg vicodin a day and have been doing that for a couple weeks now. Every once in a while I will take 2 mg pills in a day. My mind just keeps telling me it's no big deal cause it's such a low dose and I justify it,make excuses bla bla bla. I am soooo sick of this cycle and I want to stop I truely in my heart do. If I didn't I wouldn't be posting on this website at all. I had it all planned in my mind that I would stop altogether tomorrow. This has been my goal for the past week.. I just don't think I can do it or that I want to do it. I just keep saying well maybe after the holidays but I am just prolonging something I know needs to be done. My mind just keeps telling me otherwise.... I need some opinions and suggestions,maybe even a kick in the a$$ from some of you... So please give me some opinions of what you think and maybe some stories of how you quit and why? Thanks, Rachel
Hello Rae,
I just wanted to post a quick note, before I am off to get somethings done. You are always there for others. I am "amazed" at how far you have been able to "taper". I am so happy for you. You are soooooo close. With your determination, I would stick with my schedule and go off tomorrow. Flush whatever you have left. I know many others can help you with better advice. I am going C/T tomorrow night. So if you want someone to W/D with , you will have me lololol. I just want you to know, I am here for any support. I am going to do it, afraid, if I don't I will just extend it longer. I am looking forward to this Christmas w/o "pills". Have a great night. Take care, Best Wishes
I just wanted to post a quick note, before I am off to get somethings done. You are always there for others. I am "amazed" at how far you have been able to "taper". I am so happy for you. You are soooooo close. With your determination, I would stick with my schedule and go off tomorrow. Flush whatever you have left. I know many others can help you with better advice. I am going C/T tomorrow night. So if you want someone to W/D with , you will have me lololol. I just want you to know, I am here for any support. I am going to do it, afraid, if I don't I will just extend it longer. I am looking forward to this Christmas w/o "pills". Have a great night. Take care, Best Wishes
What's one pill really doing for you Rae?
I don't know Rae but i can't imagine your withdrawal would be that bad after having come so far! it has to be physcallogical now and not physical.. i suppose it's not wanting to break that final connection and knowing you can get more.. think back to how you did it before and stay focused.. you are so close. good luck..maybe you could do the on line meetings.
Good morning Rae and everyone!Rae stop beating yourself up all the time.You do what you can do.Take the good with the bad and your friends here will be your shoulders when you need us.I can't tell you in 20yrs how many fights I've had with myself,how many excuses I've made.All you can do is keep looking ahead at your sucsesses not your failures........mollyjean
Thanks you Bestwishes, that was very sweet of you! What are you going C/T from tonight? and why did you decide to? I will be here here for you also,just let me know how I can help!
None4me, Yes exactly,what is one pill doing for me, not a whole lot. It is all mental. I enjoy taking it once a day and cleaning my house,going shopping or whatever..Started using for pain and now using for pleasure!
Fearnoeveil,
It is fear of the "final connection" it's like saying good-bye to an old friend as crazy as that may sound. If I could only get it out of my mind I would be alright..But we all know that is easier said than done.I look back to how I did it before and I always quit the day I find out I am pregnant and not only do I quit taking pills I stop smoking cig's too! Now that is will power.. I CAN DO IT for my children but never can seem to love myself enough to do it for me... Maybe I will check out the online meetings.
Thanks so much for all your help, I really apprecite knowing that some of you care! Rae
None4me, Yes exactly,what is one pill doing for me, not a whole lot. It is all mental. I enjoy taking it once a day and cleaning my house,going shopping or whatever..Started using for pain and now using for pleasure!
Fearnoeveil,
It is fear of the "final connection" it's like saying good-bye to an old friend as crazy as that may sound. If I could only get it out of my mind I would be alright..But we all know that is easier said than done.I look back to how I did it before and I always quit the day I find out I am pregnant and not only do I quit taking pills I stop smoking cig's too! Now that is will power.. I CAN DO IT for my children but never can seem to love myself enough to do it for me... Maybe I will check out the online meetings.
Thanks so much for all your help, I really apprecite knowing that some of you care! Rae
Thank you Molly.It is hard not to beat myself up when I keep repeating the same old mistakes in my life. No matter how clean I am or for how long, I always seem to think somehow I can control it and take just one pill... Then the cycle starts up again. Then I justify it with only taking 1 or 2 pills a day and then it becomes a habit again.. I am tired of "THINKING" about pills,COUNTING pills,COUNTING days til the next appt... I have been doing this one and off for 10 years and I am just disgustied with myself. Sorry to sond like I am feeling sorry for myself cause I am not and I have to be hard on myself metally or I'll never stop,know what I mean. That's for all the support,it truly helps me! Rach
Dear Rae our problems are like old lovers they are hard to get rid of and they are always in the back of our minds.You know its a mental thing belive me alot of people dont realize that they keep up with excuses of pain to keep usen.What can I do to help you through this ruff patch?....mollyjean
Sweety Its OK to feel alittle sorry for yourself I think we all do.And when you say your sick of counting pills I'm right there with you.You have given so much to me as far as your friendship etc I wish I could make the mental part easier but I think that is a cross we all have to bare alone.But keep talking with us you may find the strength you need to get you past this part....mollyjean
Thank you sweetheart! You are always so loving and kind... I will be back on in a few, going to give baby a bath!! Rae
Molly go read the e-mail I sent you! Rae
