My dear friends and supporters:
I have one and a half vic tabs left and I have been tapering since Friday afternoon. Yesterday, Sunday, I took three one-half tabs about every 6 hours. Today and tomorrow will be somewhat the same.
HOWEVER, Wednesday will be a brand new DAY ONE for me. I am armed with Clonidine, Ritalin and OTC Motrin that I plan to take 4 200 mg tabs as needed for the pain that still haunts me.
I feel like I am about to enter into a very dark battle of Biblical proportions, but for some reason, I am not so scared this time.
I know I have my faith and GOD will carry me through this.
I remember, my mother always told me as a teenager that I should be fortunate for the people, faith and situations that God has given me. I have the luxury of being a full time telecommuter from home and I know if I start to feel crappy, I can just go lay down for a while. My preschooler goes to school Tues, Weds, and Thurs and I can take advantage of those nine hours to take care of my healing spirit and body! I am fully able to tell the other boys in my family, including my husb. that I am in the process of cleaning my system and head and please be patient with me while I get over the physical part of the w/ds.
It is certainly the time that will arrive about Friday mid day when I know I will begin to mentally crave the vics. I will be in a constant battle with my mind and what I know to be true....I DON'T NEED THEM!.
This addict is pissed and sick and tired of being weak and enslaved to pain pills.
During the time which I have described above, I plan to spend a great deal of time on the board, as it is the absolutely one aspect that has helped to be honest with myself and I sincerely am grateful for all you!
So....keep my in your thoughts, prayers and send lots of mental hugs and I UNDERSTANDS.
Of course, any advice for alleviating the symptoms other than what I listed above would be appreciated from the deepest part of my heart and soul.
Needing you all,
T
Much luck T ! Wow, you're almost there! You've tapered so low I bet w/d won't be hard for you, or at least not as bad as what some go through. You sound really determined and that's great. I know it might sound odd, but music helped me through that time. It just elevated my mood. Be stong and reach out to everyone here, talking will help. Good luck, hang in there, much love, Kat
Hey Kat:
Thanks for your support. I am also somebody who loves to talk on the phone and although many of my friends and family know what I am going through, it is hard to be fully open verbally with them. I would love to chat with anyone who is willing to listen. Anything that can help!
T
Thanks for your support. I am also somebody who loves to talk on the phone and although many of my friends and family know what I am going through, it is hard to be fully open verbally with them. I would love to chat with anyone who is willing to listen. Anything that can help!
T
Kat:
My email is pnjmn@aol.com. Feel free to send me an email and if possible, I can devulge the phone #.
Love
T
My email is pnjmn@aol.com. Feel free to send me an email and if possible, I can devulge the phone #.
Love
T
You go T! I know you can do it. M.
Hey M and everyone else:
That goes for you as well. Email me at my address. My husband is a very suspicious person when it comes to sharing any info on the internet, he has heard lots of horror stories. He is also very old school. However, I have found that this site seems very trustworthy and that we are all here for the same reason.
T
That goes for you as well. Email me at my address. My husband is a very suspicious person when it comes to sharing any info on the internet, he has heard lots of horror stories. He is also very old school. However, I have found that this site seems very trustworthy and that we are all here for the same reason.
T
I agree that this is a great site and that most if not all who post to it are trustworthy. Just remember, however, that any information you post about yourself is also open to anyone on the Internet, whether they post here or not. So I probably fall into your husband's category as "old school".....not trying to discourage honesty, just the disclosure of certain types of personal information. M.
Dear None:
I totally understand. Right now at this point in my life, however, other than $ issues, I am totally an open book. Maybe thats wreckless, but I so want cleanliness and recovery that I have to be overly honest and open. Guess I just need to be careful.
T
I totally understand. Right now at this point in my life, however, other than $ issues, I am totally an open book. Maybe thats wreckless, but I so want cleanliness and recovery that I have to be overly honest and open. Guess I just need to be careful.
T
T, you can do this! It is worth it. I am just curious, why Ritalin??
Just remember that it is only a temporary state...you can get through it!!
kerry
Just remember that it is only a temporary state...you can get through it!!
kerry
I think none is probably right T, so it's a good idea to get those things through emails. As far as I know, that's pretty safe. Funny thing, have you guys ever noticed the huge number of people who view these posts as oppossed to those posting? Kind of makes you wonder, not to be paranoid or anything. I know lots of people lurk before jumping in, I did that a little myself. But still..........a thought worth considering maybe. Love you guys, Kat
hey T, Kerry made me notice that you had said ritilin. I guess it went over my head the first time I read your post. Have you ever taken ritilin before? My now nine year old son took it for quite awhile and it must be something quite sought after. I actually had people ASK me for one of my child's pills. Once I found that a couple had been stolen. After that I started hiding them. Isn't that ridiculous? to have to hide your child's medicine? My son is ADHD and has learning disabilities, so he truly has to have medication. Recently we put him on a non narcotic called straterra (if I spelled that right). Why is the dr putting you on ritilin? If you don't mind me asking. I know the potential for abuse and addiction is high. I have a cousin who takes it for narcolepsy. So I realize there's lots of reasons for taking it. Just being an addict myself, I'm leery of anything that could be yet one more thing I have to fight. You know what I mean? I have to get off here soon and go pick my kids up from school. So T, hope you got my emails. I'll check when I get back. Much love, Kat
Hi There Kat:
Well the Ritalin is something that I have been on since about the age of 12 when, and thats a long time, after lots of testing, the pediatrician instituted this for ADD. I'm 38 and I was probably the first female child at the age in the whole Mid-Atlantic region to be 1) diagnosed ADD and 2) placed on Ritalin. Well, it was the trick for school, behavior, etc. I stayed on Ritalin through my teenage years and when I was trying for my first child, went off and stayed off until I was finished makin babies.
I spoke to my OB/GYN and my internist as I noticed the same attention problems that I had when I was a youngster. They both thought it was fine to go back on Ritalin about 3 years ago and I have been fine ever since, except, of course, for this little pain killer prob. Anyway, I have never abused it and when I stopped taking it way back when, I had no w/ds or problems.
Thats my story and I'm stickin to it.
Love T
Well the Ritalin is something that I have been on since about the age of 12 when, and thats a long time, after lots of testing, the pediatrician instituted this for ADD. I'm 38 and I was probably the first female child at the age in the whole Mid-Atlantic region to be 1) diagnosed ADD and 2) placed on Ritalin. Well, it was the trick for school, behavior, etc. I stayed on Ritalin through my teenage years and when I was trying for my first child, went off and stayed off until I was finished makin babies.
I spoke to my OB/GYN and my internist as I noticed the same attention problems that I had when I was a youngster. They both thought it was fine to go back on Ritalin about 3 years ago and I have been fine ever since, except, of course, for this little pain killer prob. Anyway, I have never abused it and when I stopped taking it way back when, I had no w/ds or problems.
Thats my story and I'm stickin to it.
Love T
TryingtokickVic,
Watch out for the Ritalin. It's very addicting as well. It's pretty much speed in a pill.
Watch out for the Ritalin. It's very addicting as well. It's pretty much speed in a pill.
I will certainly keep that in mind. It has never been a problem for me and everything is closely monitored by my doc and if I have a concern, I call him anyway.
I was just having a little w/d symptoms, even though I'm tapering. Little headache, body tingles, sour tummy, etc. This time of the evening is always the hardest. Everyone is coming home, dinner needs to be in the works, toys are everywhere from our 5 yo who plays all day long when he is off of school. UGGH!
Keep me lifted folks!
T
I was just having a little w/d symptoms, even though I'm tapering. Little headache, body tingles, sour tummy, etc. This time of the evening is always the hardest. Everyone is coming home, dinner needs to be in the works, toys are everywhere from our 5 yo who plays all day long when he is off of school. UGGH!
Keep me lifted folks!
T
For a little help with your faith, go to Recovery Friends message board, and log on to the thread," Language of Letting go, Financial responsibility".
Read through the posts, if you haven't already done so. God is there for us. I had lost faith. And hope. Then God stepped in.
You're embarking on a wonderful adventure, a new life that will outshine anything you have ever experienced. Keep the faith. He is there for you too.
God Bless,
Susan
Dear T,
You've come a long way in helping yourself withdraw safely. I have no doubt that you have done this with a huge amount of courage.
We'll all be here to offer you help, support, and inspiration, not only on Wednesday, but before and after.
Great job, T. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ben
You've come a long way in helping yourself withdraw safely. I have no doubt that you have done this with a huge amount of courage.
We'll all be here to offer you help, support, and inspiration, not only on Wednesday, but before and after.
Great job, T. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ben
Thanks so much Susan
I have not ever lost my faith through this whole thing. I know that God has put me here, in this experience, for a reason. I have had some very divine experiences, literally, verbally telling God that I know this is in his hands and that whatever the outcome, I trust to be His will. Almost lost both of my youngest boys during delivery and they are both here only by God's gentle grace and healing!
Thanks for the link info.
God Bless you 2
Love
T
I have not ever lost my faith through this whole thing. I know that God has put me here, in this experience, for a reason. I have had some very divine experiences, literally, verbally telling God that I know this is in his hands and that whatever the outcome, I trust to be His will. Almost lost both of my youngest boys during delivery and they are both here only by God's gentle grace and healing!
Thanks for the link info.
God Bless you 2
Love
T
Hey T, just checking to see if you're still around and doing okay. Evenings are a pain aren't they? Mine is about to settle down. Dinner's done, baths and homework finished, now it's just waiting for bedtime to arrive. Anyway, just letting you know I'm back and can meet you whenever. Much love, Kat
