Ahh geez I hate admitting this, but I sure can't give people advice on how to stay sober when I just had a bit of a lapse...
My mom just found out she has a degenerative disc in her neck and the doc gave her a script of Vics which she is actually doing good with, taking less than perscribed, I am a bit shocked but totally proud of her. Well, having them in the house made me a bit uneasy. At first I handled it well, she left them right out in the open and actually dangled them in my face a few times... still I didn't want em. A few days passed and I was still doing okay... then, of course because I hit a milestone for myself (staying clean for four months, bipolar meds are working well) of course the devil came around with some pills and the idiot in me said yeah... ugh god I'm disgusted in myself. Funny part is because I'm on a dopamine regulator and so many other mood stabilizers I couldn't get high... but I did take a xanax with them and I am pulling a nodding out session. Ahhh gay. I still have some left, where am I going to find the strength??? I'm not yet addicted physically yet, god I don't want to be... I just have such a comulpulsion to take them even though they don't do anything! God I hate my stupid self... I'm so sad now... my moods were so fine and now I have f***ed up my head all over .... I feel so ashamed, especially to you guys who are so supportive. Damn pain pills. Damn my addiction. Sorry everyone :(
Dont be sorry man we are only human at least you know that you have done it and have wrote and told someone take care be strong love sue
Thanks sue. I'm glad to see you are doing well though, hopefully the s*** symptoms are easing up on you a bit.
Trooper you live up to your name you are strong keep telling yourself each day. We have a desease and that is what it is that makes us f**k up we are ill people not everyone understands that. I was 6 years clean and thought i was cured didnt relise once a addict always a addict but now i do i go to na meetings which i never did before and i relise that together we can beat this you have 4 months clean just call it a little mistake and get back on with your recovery take care and dont be down on yourself as that will end up making use take care love suexx
flush the rest and get up and brush yourself off and start all over again.
my son abused mj, pain pills, benzos, his add med, and alcohol. i still have the same old wine in the wine rack, but we really don't have other alcohol in the house. my husband and i both take the same med as he did for add, so i only keep out one weeks worth at a time in our pill cases (kept in our drawers), and the rest of the bottle goes in our safe. he knows that we will know if any of ours from the pill case are missing. he knows the cases are in our room, but they are not being "dangled in front of him".
there are no pain meds in the house, and if there ever are, they will go into the safe.
get back on that wagon trooper, you've been there for 4 months, and you know how much better it is on the recovery side.
best of luck to you,
patricia
my son abused mj, pain pills, benzos, his add med, and alcohol. i still have the same old wine in the wine rack, but we really don't have other alcohol in the house. my husband and i both take the same med as he did for add, so i only keep out one weeks worth at a time in our pill cases (kept in our drawers), and the rest of the bottle goes in our safe. he knows that we will know if any of ours from the pill case are missing. he knows the cases are in our room, but they are not being "dangled in front of him".
there are no pain meds in the house, and if there ever are, they will go into the safe.
get back on that wagon trooper, you've been there for 4 months, and you know how much better it is on the recovery side.
best of luck to you,
patricia
trooper as the others said just 1 slip out of 4mths aint bad.as u know im on a long term script[meth 70ml].also me ma has neck pains so ive got oxycontins around & i hate 2 admit it every now&then i dip into her supply of oxys&valium&dalmane.take it eze trooper as sue said try 2 be like yer name. 4get about the slip &charge forward big up yerself.davey
Eh me girl, Troop's........it was a LAPSE.......not a RELAPSE.
You did good telling us all too, and I think the best thing to do would be to tell mom to hide them........or even lie and say they are outta the house....funny us addicts telling people to lie......I know your mom has her own stuff......so you gotta hang on there........ya can't flush what's not yours......TELL HER.....if you don't you may next time hit her up for four or more.....you know how we do.
Davey, Phew I would have trouble having the oxy's in the house.....I wonder just why they let us know what they got......if I was on the other side of it....I would tell us NOTHING.....complain and say that damn Doctor told me take some Advil.........just me anyway.
It's O.K. my Trooper........you are a Trooper....now carry on my wayward girl.
You did good telling us all too, and I think the best thing to do would be to tell mom to hide them........or even lie and say they are outta the house....funny us addicts telling people to lie......I know your mom has her own stuff......so you gotta hang on there........ya can't flush what's not yours......TELL HER.....if you don't you may next time hit her up for four or more.....you know how we do.
Davey, Phew I would have trouble having the oxy's in the house.....I wonder just why they let us know what they got......if I was on the other side of it....I would tell us NOTHING.....complain and say that damn Doctor told me take some Advil.........just me anyway.
It's O.K. my Trooper........you are a Trooper....now carry on my wayward girl.
yeh brynn the oxys are a big temptation luckily there only 10mgs but now&then its a matter of (hey whoes counting).its really the benzos that im a pig for as well as my mums script im on 70ml a day &on the sly i get a script from another doc 60valium 10mgs,30 dalmane 30mg,zyprexa 10mg every mnth.giving up smack was easier than gettin off this lot.cheers davy
Trooper, dust your azz off and climb back in the saddle....flush the temptation and feel the sense of empowerment that you will get.
You only have today....24 hours...one day at a time...one moment at a time.
You remind me of the way I felt after I smoked a cig, when I hadn't had one in two months....roughly almost a one month relapse...but tomorrow is quit day again...stop now before you are drawn back in again, like i was...
You can do it!
You only have today....24 hours...one day at a time...one moment at a time.
You remind me of the way I felt after I smoked a cig, when I hadn't had one in two months....roughly almost a one month relapse...but tomorrow is quit day again...stop now before you are drawn back in again, like i was...
You can do it!
T,
No worries....KEEP ON TROOPIN!
All the best!
Darin
No worries....KEEP ON TROOPIN!
All the best!
Darin
Thanks guys, it's already where I started hating it, they don't mix with my other meds well because i am on so many mood stabilizers and tranqs. I rationalized and rationialized, making excuses thinking about my chronic pain, but I have delt with the chronic pain with tylenol and grit, using only makes it worse. I am sick, and today at work I was falling asleep, looked like a nod out session... probably was but I was in denial. You're right brynn, my mom has a xanax problem, I lied and told her that I didn't get a script for benzo's... she shoulda probably done the same, but no excuse, I know better. Time to get back on the wagon. Thanks for the support everyone :)
Trooper: Just chalked it up to a bad day and move on. You had a little slipped up. Just let it be that, a slip up. Don't let it be that start of using all the time. I know you already know all of that. Sometimes it is good just to be reminded.
Good luck and I will be praying for you.
Good luck and I will be praying for you.
WHAT THE f*** IS WRONG WITH ME!!!! Christ almighty I know the answer... the advice I would give to myself
Trooper, you know where this leads to, and you know you can't handle being around it, you are too early in recovery, get the f*** out of the situation.... you are on five different head f***ers for your bipolar, all which opiates have a bad interaction, just think of being sick, do you wat to be sick? No!!! Quit now before it's too late and get your a** to a meeting.
Nice advice, only I can't follow it because I have no faith in myself. I need to get rid of these pills but I can't because they are not mine to get rid of. I should be ashamed taking my mothers pills. I am too afraid to tell her, too ashamed because I am always preaching at her... I feel like the minister who stands at the podium talking about carnal sins and after goes out and picks up hookers. Curse me!!! I should be ashamed taking my mothers viccodin that she shouldn't have because she is an addict. Look at me I'm already pointing fingers here...
Trooper, you know where this leads to, and you know you can't handle being around it, you are too early in recovery, get the f*** out of the situation.... you are on five different head f***ers for your bipolar, all which opiates have a bad interaction, just think of being sick, do you wat to be sick? No!!! Quit now before it's too late and get your a** to a meeting.
Nice advice, only I can't follow it because I have no faith in myself. I need to get rid of these pills but I can't because they are not mine to get rid of. I should be ashamed taking my mothers pills. I am too afraid to tell her, too ashamed because I am always preaching at her... I feel like the minister who stands at the podium talking about carnal sins and after goes out and picks up hookers. Curse me!!! I should be ashamed taking my mothers viccodin that she shouldn't have because she is an addict. Look at me I'm already pointing fingers here...
