I thank those that have helped and appreciate the people I have met on this board. I'm not going to be posting here anymore. It hurts when you write something and you have 30 or 40 people read it and 1 reply. I know some just come here to read posts and some write back also. But since I've been clean i think 4 people have written back to any of my posts. It seems that the drama that has happened here since I've been on gets more response than people that are actually writting for a friend to talk to or support or anything. I feel bad I'm not the only one I know there are many that write I need help now or other things and that goes basically untouched. If it's not bashing people or tring to correct everyone or making some feel guilty about a post and them apologizing 1,000 times then feeling bad for themselves alot of people like myself that would love to have support through this journey of recovery are ignored. I know that's a strong word but it hurts. When you already feel alone which isn't your fault of coarse and would like help or someone to talk to and don't get it it touches a sensitive spot with me.
On the other hand when I was using I appreciate all who helped me through. All who posted just to say hello, good luck on my job or god luck in detox which I ended up doing at home. I wonder if people think I just wrote going to "Detox" to get replys and are angry I did it at home. In my recent posts I have explained why and I can't explain this in any other why and I can't keep wondering why I feel isolated here now.
I'm not a misserable person I was just asking for help after I have stopped using because it's a hard thing to do to stay clean. I can't rely on everyone else for my sobriety but I am a sensitive and caring person. It hurts to feel isolated in a place that I once felt so comfortable. For five years I used. I'm just now rediscovering myself and thought we could all help eachother through this. But there are clicks and favorites and personally can only rely on myself and my family and NA to get through this..but I at one time thought we were all family.
Good luck everyone keep your head up. I feel as though you have to meet certain standards these days or other things just to get a reply or a hello.
I wish you all well. THis is not meant to bash anyone and some may call me scared insecure or other things and you know I am this is new to me. I am new to me. I expected too much and honestly regret ever coming here because of the saddness of feeling alone where I once felt welcomed.
reconsider. Take a break tonight and check back in the morning. You have alot going on. There are a gazillion people who are voyers on this site. Most people don't post, they just read. So if 30 people look at your post maybe only 2 of them are active posters. 15 of them might be actively using and don't have any clue what to say to you. You are not alone. Come post in the morning or just check out what is going on.
l2bc,
I understand exactly how you are feeling!!! In fact I am having many of the same thoughts myself right now. I have posted before looking for support and noticed many people had read my thread, yet very few responded to it. Then I posted some info last night that was requested by another member only to get bashed. And I notice that the number of views were really high also. Dozens of comments and hundreds of views all in less than 24 hours! It amazed me because I don't see that here on the threads where people are looking for help or support. The Kaela threads are a very good example. But I think that she was definitely mentally unstable and needed to be banned purely based on the fact that her posting here took away from the people that were really needing help!!
I don't really know.....maybe we are overly sensitive during this difficult time. I am sure that I am guilty of doing the same thing myself. I read 1,000 posts more than I respond to!!! But I am a shy person and it takes me a while to get to know people where I would be comfortable to post regularly. I was a long-time lurker before I even registed my user name!!! And I was a little afraid to give advice to some that were asking for advice from other addicts. Now I am even more afraid to do that. I will probably still post but just make sure to clarify that nothing should be done without consulting with a doctor, I am only giving an opinion, etc, etc, etc Even though I assumed that everyone knew all posts here are just the OPINION of the person - nothing here should be taken as 100% true & factual. I was trying to help and now I feel really bad and am in tears again!!! It's sad that we are feeling this way here. I wonder if it's just me feeling too emotional and sorry for myself..... I am sad that you are feeling the way that you are!!! Maybe by saying the things you just did, things could improve a lot for you here. I really hope that you will stay. But I would understand completely if you decide not to. Please at least think about it!! I promise that I will respond to ALL of your posts that I see when I come to this site - although I am not here every day like some others are. You do matter here!!! If you stay, I have a feeling that you will get more support than you have in the past. You have only been here for about 6 weeks - during that time it seemed very crazy here - I think it was because of all that craziness that your posts may have been overlooked.
I'm sorry that I rambled so much and talked more about how I feel than how you are feeling!! I just want you to know that I can relate....AND I tend to ramble once I start typing....
Best of luck in your recovery!!!
I do hope that you'll stick around....
Swizzle
I understand exactly how you are feeling!!! In fact I am having many of the same thoughts myself right now. I have posted before looking for support and noticed many people had read my thread, yet very few responded to it. Then I posted some info last night that was requested by another member only to get bashed. And I notice that the number of views were really high also. Dozens of comments and hundreds of views all in less than 24 hours! It amazed me because I don't see that here on the threads where people are looking for help or support. The Kaela threads are a very good example. But I think that she was definitely mentally unstable and needed to be banned purely based on the fact that her posting here took away from the people that were really needing help!!
I don't really know.....maybe we are overly sensitive during this difficult time. I am sure that I am guilty of doing the same thing myself. I read 1,000 posts more than I respond to!!! But I am a shy person and it takes me a while to get to know people where I would be comfortable to post regularly. I was a long-time lurker before I even registed my user name!!! And I was a little afraid to give advice to some that were asking for advice from other addicts. Now I am even more afraid to do that. I will probably still post but just make sure to clarify that nothing should be done without consulting with a doctor, I am only giving an opinion, etc, etc, etc Even though I assumed that everyone knew all posts here are just the OPINION of the person - nothing here should be taken as 100% true & factual. I was trying to help and now I feel really bad and am in tears again!!! It's sad that we are feeling this way here. I wonder if it's just me feeling too emotional and sorry for myself..... I am sad that you are feeling the way that you are!!! Maybe by saying the things you just did, things could improve a lot for you here. I really hope that you will stay. But I would understand completely if you decide not to. Please at least think about it!! I promise that I will respond to ALL of your posts that I see when I come to this site - although I am not here every day like some others are. You do matter here!!! If you stay, I have a feeling that you will get more support than you have in the past. You have only been here for about 6 weeks - during that time it seemed very crazy here - I think it was because of all that craziness that your posts may have been overlooked.
I'm sorry that I rambled so much and talked more about how I feel than how you are feeling!! I just want you to know that I can relate....AND I tend to ramble once I start typing....
Best of luck in your recovery!!!
I do hope that you'll stick around....
Swizzle
Hi there looking im so sorry that you feel isolated you right with what you say that some posts go un-answered. For me its finding the time or mentle energy to respond there is no point im my pretending i understand you i need to read all posts but i dont have the time so i usually read quickly and if i can respond i do so. Im sorry your having a hard time, please dont feel you have to leave sometimes it takes time to get to know people and as true as life is sometimes we dont get the answers we want or the attention we need but persistance usually pays off. ive been around this site for nearly a year and some of mine go un-answered but i take it like this if a reader gets something out of it then im doing ok. ((((((((hugs)))))))))) jackie xxxxxxxxxx
Hey...I am really sorry if you felt ignored...I for one always try to shout out a welcome and a "you can do it" but sometimes it is hard to get to posts...
Sometimes we get caught up in ourselves...and forget how scary that first space of this disease is...
Just hang around...and have you tried AA or NA? I know just going to those rooms makes me feel not so alone. You can get face to face support, and some numbers of people that will hang around with you during those phases..
So keep coming back, and I don't think anyone intentionally ignored you..
kerry
Sometimes we get caught up in ourselves...and forget how scary that first space of this disease is...
Just hang around...and have you tried AA or NA? I know just going to those rooms makes me feel not so alone. You can get face to face support, and some numbers of people that will hang around with you during those phases..
So keep coming back, and I don't think anyone intentionally ignored you..
kerry
i am sorry that you feel that you want to leave the board. i also am sorry for not responding as much as i could be, kaos is the best word to describe my life recently, and not able to be online much lately. when i am away from the board, i do miss my friends here, and often think of how they are doing. this board is such great support for me and my recovery, as i am sure it would be for you as well. by the way, i am kimber, 2 months clean of lortabs.sorry to not introduce myself first.:)
i truly hope that you will stay around here, i am here if you ever want to talk. i hope to talk to you soon,take care and and be strong.kimber:)
i truly hope that you will stay around here, i am here if you ever want to talk. i hope to talk to you soon,take care and and be strong.kimber:)
I'm so sorry you guys! I appreciate your replys! I can't stay away I feel at home here. Your posts helped me so much and did my heart some good:)
Swizzle sweetie please don't cry or be upset anymore. I know you didn't mean any harm at all. It's a touchy subject when remidies are posted sometimes and when someone asks for it you try and help. That's all you were doing. You didn't do it in hopes of harm or to upset anyone. In fact I didn'y kmow klonopin was a benzo...why do I ask? I'm on that for anxirty attacks and have been for 4 yrs. So you helped me in a way you didn't realize:)
I think alot of the reason I feel so down and crappy also is I chipped part of my tooth off last weekend eating pizza..yummy. Well tonight it's giving me he**! My whole rgt side of my face is killing me even my eye hurts.
I had a minor surgury to remove a boil on my rump (ingrown hair) was suppose to go back a week ago to get the stiches out and didn't becasue I wasn't ready for the temptation of asking for more pain meds. Well Sat night I had a nurse friend of mine cut them out and now the whole darn thing is open 1 inch wide and one inch deep. My doctor knows and has looked at it this week and have to soak in epson salt. Talk about pooring salt in a wound.
And I cancelled my pain management doctor becasue thats a source. I also recieved injections in my back form him they really helped. Well I already had 3 injections can't have any more for 6 mo. and with all the exercise hurting also. I know alot of it is my mind playing tricks on me also..but I feel crappy. And what did I always do? USE? I'm not going to . I just wonder if it ever stops? Heck maybe my tooth has been bad for a while I never would have known lol couldn't feel a thing! Does that make sense?
With Love and Thanks
Sarah
P.S probuly TMI but 17 days late on period. On my journey of always tring to get pills found out I had a ovarion cyst. WOrried about that too....maybe early menopause..could you imagine only 27.LOL
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Swizzle sweetie please don't cry or be upset anymore. I know you didn't mean any harm at all. It's a touchy subject when remidies are posted sometimes and when someone asks for it you try and help. That's all you were doing. You didn't do it in hopes of harm or to upset anyone. In fact I didn'y kmow klonopin was a benzo...why do I ask? I'm on that for anxirty attacks and have been for 4 yrs. So you helped me in a way you didn't realize:)
I think alot of the reason I feel so down and crappy also is I chipped part of my tooth off last weekend eating pizza..yummy. Well tonight it's giving me he**! My whole rgt side of my face is killing me even my eye hurts.
I had a minor surgury to remove a boil on my rump (ingrown hair) was suppose to go back a week ago to get the stiches out and didn't becasue I wasn't ready for the temptation of asking for more pain meds. Well Sat night I had a nurse friend of mine cut them out and now the whole darn thing is open 1 inch wide and one inch deep. My doctor knows and has looked at it this week and have to soak in epson salt. Talk about pooring salt in a wound.
And I cancelled my pain management doctor becasue thats a source. I also recieved injections in my back form him they really helped. Well I already had 3 injections can't have any more for 6 mo. and with all the exercise hurting also. I know alot of it is my mind playing tricks on me also..but I feel crappy. And what did I always do? USE? I'm not going to . I just wonder if it ever stops? Heck maybe my tooth has been bad for a while I never would have known lol couldn't feel a thing! Does that make sense?
With Love and Thanks
Sarah
P.S probuly TMI but 17 days late on period. On my journey of always tring to get pills found out I had a ovarion cyst. WOrried about that too....maybe early menopause..could you imagine only 27.LOL
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Swizzle..you meant no harm. Benzos can be worse to detox off of than opiates, and those who have done that know how LONG and painful it is. And since we are addicts, it is quite easy to switch addictions...
I agree with your program...but the hard part is not continuing to take those meds...
Every thing else was spot on...
Kerry
I agree with your program...but the hard part is not continuing to take those meds...
Every thing else was spot on...
Kerry
Sarah,
A while ago you shared about the abuse you suffered as a child. Your story was such a trigger, Im ashamed to say I was unable to reply. And Ive been sorry about that ever since. It may be why I stopped posting to you altogether.
Im glad to see that youre going to give us a second chance. Please understand that sometimes I dont reply to posts because obvious suffering overwhelms me, due entirely to where I am in my own recovery. Im new to this myself and want to be very careful of what I say, especially to people who are clearly fragile. Its not because I dont care or think one person is worthier than another. Everyone here is an addict, just like me. Perhaps all you wished to hear was one line saying, Youre not alone.
Best regards,
Gina
A while ago you shared about the abuse you suffered as a child. Your story was such a trigger, Im ashamed to say I was unable to reply. And Ive been sorry about that ever since. It may be why I stopped posting to you altogether.
Im glad to see that youre going to give us a second chance. Please understand that sometimes I dont reply to posts because obvious suffering overwhelms me, due entirely to where I am in my own recovery. Im new to this myself and want to be very careful of what I say, especially to people who are clearly fragile. Its not because I dont care or think one person is worthier than another. Everyone here is an addict, just like me. Perhaps all you wished to hear was one line saying, Youre not alone.
Best regards,
Gina
