he's "18" now and thinks he has the right to do LSD and other drugs. His mother and I live in different towns. He lives in the city where he and his brother grew up. He insists on living there. Now third time rushing to his assistance because of an LSD trip which he does not handle well. I know the answer I think but am looking for others thoughts.
Dear Tired Dad, He's 18 Sure he has the right to make decisions as LONG as he is willing to except what comes along with his decision. ...as Long as his decision doesn't inflict upon others...He wants the right to make decisions but he wants someone to run to his rescue the moment his decision turns into a bad one.....his third stint with a adverse reaction....wouldn't a rational decision maker realize maybe just maybe their choices / decisions aren't beneficial to him? He sounds like Peter and the wolf....he will keep having close calls and you will run to his side....what happens when the adverse reaction is coma.brain damage or death....yup.He has the right to make decisions. ..but is he willing to except the consequences. ...ask him that one.
Dear Tired Dad,
There are a lot of us who are watching loved ones suffer. There are many good people on this message board.
If I had one suggestion, it would be to seek out a family support program such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. They are in the telephone book and the internet. There should be a meeting near you.
Going to the first meeting is important, or calling their telephone line. Once you cross that step, I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how welcome and understood you are.
In order to be the best parent possible, I think it is crucial to be on firm ground from a recovery standpoint.
I hope this helps. Hang in there. -Fly
There are a lot of us who are watching loved ones suffer. There are many good people on this message board.
If I had one suggestion, it would be to seek out a family support program such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. They are in the telephone book and the internet. There should be a meeting near you.
Going to the first meeting is important, or calling their telephone line. Once you cross that step, I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how welcome and understood you are.
In order to be the best parent possible, I think it is crucial to be on firm ground from a recovery standpoint.
I hope this helps. Hang in there. -Fly
Christophers Mom brought up a VERY good point: "wouldn't a rational decision maker realize maybe just maybe their choices / decisions aren't beneficial to him...? " My hubby's counselor at rehab said rational goes out the window when it comes to addicts. They use a substance that they KNOW will made them feel bad later-- sick, guilty, depressed, anxious, etc. It might feel good while getting high, but afterwards or in your son's case: while he's on a bad trip, they know it'll bad. So, knowing that, why would a person choose a short term high over a long term overall bad feeling? A rational person wouldn't.
I'd say stop rescuing him. Let him experience the effects of his poor choices. He might be acting like a 4 year old kid with impulse control issues and who hasn't learned better yet (normal stage of development), but your son's 18 and now it's a conscious choice--- just like he told you. Therefore, he's not a little boy anymore who needs to be prevented from rushing into traffic. Your son can figure it out on his own. Like he said, he's an adult. Good luck!
I'd say stop rescuing him. Let him experience the effects of his poor choices. He might be acting like a 4 year old kid with impulse control issues and who hasn't learned better yet (normal stage of development), but your son's 18 and now it's a conscious choice--- just like he told you. Therefore, he's not a little boy anymore who needs to be prevented from rushing into traffic. Your son can figure it out on his own. Like he said, he's an adult. Good luck!
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon, as stated by Fly, will give you not only a direction to be the best parent but also the strength.
look them up in your telephone book or on-line for meetings in your area.
All the best.
Bob R
look them up in your telephone book or on-line for meetings in your area.
All the best.
Bob R
