I'm new here, and only have a few moments to post before my little one wakes up from her nap, so I apologize if this has been covered over and over and over.
My brother has been staying here for 8 months and has all of his belongings (maybe a storage units worth) in my garage and spare bedroom. I don't want him to live here anymore. He attempted suicide, again, this afternoon and is currently in the hospital. This was after a nearly week long paranoid & psychotic episode, as a result of his meth use. What should I say to him when he comes to? Should I give him a period to collect his things after he gets out? Should I just do something with all of his belongings? What can I do?
I told him a week ago that he could not stay here while he was using, but he's continued to use and continued to come here. He certainly has residency rights at this point. I don't think he has anywhere else to go, and since he's not working he has no money. His only friend is a fellow meth user he recently met. No one else wants to be around him anymore. I don't know if his mental state would allow for a homeless shelter, and he's uninsured.
Look at the tabs at the top of this website, Find Treatment, Programs & Resources, etc.
Post a message on the Methadone message board, maybe someone there who has been through it has some ideas.
Ask the people a the hospital if he can go to the psyc ward. or if there is a state run rehab, and half way house. Some kind of program that he lives at.
You do need to get him out of your house bc of your child and you want to have a life without drugs.
Hope this helps!
Go to Nar-Anon meetings. you will find the reassurance you need.
you can box up his stuff, put it in storage or basement or garage, or a relative's house.
Post a message on the Methadone message board, maybe someone there who has been through it has some ideas.
Ask the people a the hospital if he can go to the psyc ward. or if there is a state run rehab, and half way house. Some kind of program that he lives at.
You do need to get him out of your house bc of your child and you want to have a life without drugs.
Hope this helps!
Go to Nar-Anon meetings. you will find the reassurance you need.
you can box up his stuff, put it in storage or basement or garage, or a relative's house.
Look at the tabs at the top of this website, Find Treatment, Programs & Resources, etc.
Thank you. I checked. It lists our state's human services department. I have called them numerous times. Everything has extensive waiting lists, and he's been on them already for months. That doesn't help us out *right now*. The only other thing listed is 12-step meetings. He's been doing those off and on, and that level of support is not working.
Post a message on the Methadone message board, maybe someone there who has been through it has some ideas.
He uses crystal meth, not methadone. Sorry for the confusion.
Ask the people a the hospital if he can go to the psyc ward. or if there is a state run rehab, and half way house. Some kind of program that he lives at.
He's been in the hospital at least 4 times now for suicide attempts and psychosis related to his drug use. The psych ward releases him the moment the 24 hour mandated hold is up. His history is not relevant, but his lack of insurance certainly is. I have been told there's a spot for him in another state's halfway house program, but at the moment he's too unstable to make it through airport security and I'm not sure if I could stand to be with him for the 8-hour drive. His incessant paranoid delusions are exhausting to me.
You do need to get him out of your house bc of your child and you want to have a life without drugs.
I know!!! But there doesn't appear to be any way to do this, short of allowing him to live in his car or be homeless. Seems awfully cruel to do that when he's so paranoid, particularly when he's prone to suicide attempts.
you can box up his stuff, put it in storage or basement or garage, or a relative's house.
I can't afford to put his things in storage. If I hold them, won't he continue to come around and try to badger me into letting him stay? There is absolutely no one else willing (or even able) to take on his stuff. What do the other parents/partners and families do in this kind of situation?
Thank you. I checked. It lists our state's human services department. I have called them numerous times. Everything has extensive waiting lists, and he's been on them already for months. That doesn't help us out *right now*. The only other thing listed is 12-step meetings. He's been doing those off and on, and that level of support is not working.
Post a message on the Methadone message board, maybe someone there who has been through it has some ideas.
He uses crystal meth, not methadone. Sorry for the confusion.
Ask the people a the hospital if he can go to the psyc ward. or if there is a state run rehab, and half way house. Some kind of program that he lives at.
He's been in the hospital at least 4 times now for suicide attempts and psychosis related to his drug use. The psych ward releases him the moment the 24 hour mandated hold is up. His history is not relevant, but his lack of insurance certainly is. I have been told there's a spot for him in another state's halfway house program, but at the moment he's too unstable to make it through airport security and I'm not sure if I could stand to be with him for the 8-hour drive. His incessant paranoid delusions are exhausting to me.
You do need to get him out of your house bc of your child and you want to have a life without drugs.
I know!!! But there doesn't appear to be any way to do this, short of allowing him to live in his car or be homeless. Seems awfully cruel to do that when he's so paranoid, particularly when he's prone to suicide attempts.
you can box up his stuff, put it in storage or basement or garage, or a relative's house.
I can't afford to put his things in storage. If I hold them, won't he continue to come around and try to badger me into letting him stay? There is absolutely no one else willing (or even able) to take on his stuff. What do the other parents/partners and families do in this kind of situation?
Florida gave you good suggestions. Unfortunately there aren't many feel good answers. You asked what other people do in this situation. Well, almost all of us have kicked our loved ones out of our homes. Yes, we've had our kids that were homeless and it hurt. I'm sorry that it seems that you had your brothers burdens put on you. It's not fair. It's also not your responsibility. You need to tell the hospital that your brother has no where to go. Make sure to talk to a social worker. If you have to continue to store your brothers things at your house then you set rules on what day and time your brother can come get things that he needs. None of this is easy. It's definitely not easy to set down rules and boundaries but I agree with Florida, you need to do this because of your child. Your brother could have a psychotic event on meth and hurt you or your child. Check into Al Anon or Nar Anon. Good luck.
Michelle
Michelle
There's places to go if they really want help.
I know of several free ones in Texas but they have to want it. I did not drive to try to save my 2 weeks ago. It was only a 3 hour trip but he road a greyhound bus. He has 2 weeks left in rehab.
After that, I'll make a few suggestions but he needs to figure it out. I'm offering to pay 1 month max with grocery card but hoping he will choose a Christian place that is free. As far as his personal stuff... I have taken the sentimental stuff and put it away in case he gets it together one day.
Good luck
Paula
I know of several free ones in Texas but they have to want it. I did not drive to try to save my 2 weeks ago. It was only a 3 hour trip but he road a greyhound bus. He has 2 weeks left in rehab.
After that, I'll make a few suggestions but he needs to figure it out. I'm offering to pay 1 month max with grocery card but hoping he will choose a Christian place that is free. As far as his personal stuff... I have taken the sentimental stuff and put it away in case he gets it together one day.
Good luck
Paula
this whole drug/addict/mental illness stuff is completely heartbreaking. tears are falling as I read.
I heard a story on the radio, a group of mothers who have lost their children to drug abuse. A mom put her son out of the house a few times. She told him he can not live at home if he is abusing drugs. He died on her front steps.
I find peace in knowing that they no longer suffer. It is us that are left behind that suffer.
We don't have the perfect answers. Make amends with your brother so you have no regrets.
Talk to the social workers.
Go to NarAnon meetings - you will find others who know of resources in your location.
keep trying
I heard a story on the radio, a group of mothers who have lost their children to drug abuse. A mom put her son out of the house a few times. She told him he can not live at home if he is abusing drugs. He died on her front steps.
I find peace in knowing that they no longer suffer. It is us that are left behind that suffer.
We don't have the perfect answers. Make amends with your brother so you have no regrets.
Talk to the social workers.
Go to NarAnon meetings - you will find others who know of resources in your location.
keep trying
I know exactly how you feel, BDM. I also had my brother living with me and I also have children. Just different addictions. I had to kick my brother out for his drug use. His belongings are still in my home as well. I have not seen or heard from him since then. I have no idea what to do with his belongings. They take up room I need. No one in the family will take them either.
I would tell your brother he is not allowed to come around your home anymore. You have children that you cannot risk because of his choices. He is a grown man and needs to take care of himself. You were only helping to get him on his feet. If he can't help himself, you cannot help him. You cannot worry about him because you have a child to worry about.
I know how hard it is. I worry about my brother all the time. But, my children need me more. Try your best to start distancing yourself from him at this point in his life. Maybe it will help him to open his eyes.
I'm always here to listen if you need a vent. Our situations are similar.
Hugs and prayers to you, your family and brother.
I would tell your brother he is not allowed to come around your home anymore. You have children that you cannot risk because of his choices. He is a grown man and needs to take care of himself. You were only helping to get him on his feet. If he can't help himself, you cannot help him. You cannot worry about him because you have a child to worry about.
I know how hard it is. I worry about my brother all the time. But, my children need me more. Try your best to start distancing yourself from him at this point in his life. Maybe it will help him to open his eyes.
I'm always here to listen if you need a vent. Our situations are similar.
Hugs and prayers to you, your family and brother.
