My 25 year old daughter just decided to leave her husband and little girl for a world of meth with loser men she's met. She hasn't been happy in forever and ended up in jail tonight. All of her life she was the girl with good grades, well behav d learned her bible verses and always know the kind things to say but she's turned into a monster. The words that come out of her mouth freak me out! I know that call is coming from the jail tonight and I don't want to enable but my heart breaks. What words do I use when I get that call and in the future?
No words are necessary. Simply don't take the call. She is facing the consequences of her actions. She is not being a wife or mother to your grandchild. It's her problem, not your responsibility. Support your son-In-law and grandchild. Take care of yourself. There's nothing you can do for her. She has to figure out and initiate her own recovery. Educate yourself on addiction. Nothing easy about it and you can drive yourself insane from someone else's sickness. Reality is you're now "infected" with addiction. So now you have to work on your recovery. Nar-anon is helpful. I could go on but it'll just be overwhelming. Make your start on your recovery and get off the addicts rollercoaster. Nothing changes unless something changes. You can only change yourself.
Well put. And oh so important!! Get off that rollercoaster now! That's the only way you can really love your child.
My son in law holds all the cards and he just loves my daughter so much he wants to bail her out. She just received a court date of March 13 and he feels that is too long and she'll become rough being in jail. He is asking our permission but also he is part of the problem. He was very demanding, emotionally abusive and his anger is crazy. We all feel he is bi polar or something. His mood swings go so high " I love her" to low "stupid B what a w**** I hate her" well before she ran off to do drugs. We don't know how to deal with either of them and he thinks if he bails her out forces rehab which I don't believe you can force that all wil,be well and she will go back to him. I might add she was leaving him when this all came about. We are not prepared for the aftermath of her getting out of jail. My mother in law only has a few weeks left from cancer and we are wrecks. Any advice on how to deal with the son in law and his decisions?
The 12 Step programs of Al-Anon and Nar-Anon will help you through this.
Look them up in the telephone book or on-line to find out where the meetings are in your area.
Your daughter has the disease of addiction.
Alcoholics Anonymous & Narcotics Anonymous will be there for her when she hits bottom and reaches out like it is there for millions of other alcoholics/addicts.
Al-Anon & Nar-Anon will help you.
All the best.
Bob R
Look them up in the telephone book or on-line to find out where the meetings are in your area.
Your daughter has the disease of addiction.
Alcoholics Anonymous & Narcotics Anonymous will be there for her when she hits bottom and reaches out like it is there for millions of other alcoholics/addicts.
Al-Anon & Nar-Anon will help you.
All the best.
Bob R
