Today is the day before good friday down here(Australia) I was on my way back to work after I had done my last delivery,
I looked at my watch ,it was 15.35pm, and I thought, only 8 and a half hours till the pubs close (midnite on good friday here),
I will have to get 3 boxes of beer! One for drinks before I go to the pub, one that I can chip into after the pub, and one for tomorrow, as the pubs are closed!!
I havent had a drink in 14 mths, and have no intentions of drinking again, I really dont know what made me think like this, even now I just went outside for a smoke, and was thinking about what the "boys" would be up to at the pub!
Has this happened to anyone else??? It has really suprised me, as I can go for a whole few days without thinking of drinking, and even then when I do it passes in a few seconds, but today is harder,
Good thing is I didnt drink, and think what an idiot for even getting this s*** in my head, but I dont know where it came from,
Take are Ginge
Hi there Ginge! Oh ya I can relate to that all to well!!sometimes old patterns will creep up, it's something you did all the time and it's hard to shake that old way of thinking about drinking!! Good for you for not succumbing to temptation!
I always play the tape forward and not try to glamourize drinking anymore, I go more towards how I feel the next day,what an a** I will probably make of myself, and also pray!!
Keep up the sobriety it looks good on ya!!
Cheers!
lovedove
I always play the tape forward and not try to glamourize drinking anymore, I go more towards how I feel the next day,what an a** I will probably make of myself, and also pray!!
Keep up the sobriety it looks good on ya!!
Cheers!
lovedove
Hi,
Could it be cuz it's right around a Holiday? I know that is when I used to use/abuse more than usual. Just a thought.
Could it be cuz it's right around a Holiday? I know that is when I used to use/abuse more than usual. Just a thought.
I too have days like that ginge...as my sponsor says "we have no control over our incoming calls,its the out goping action that counts"...
thats should read out going not goping...lol
I have been doing the mods thing and it SEEMS to be working pretty well in that I can take a few drinks and stop most of the time and even times I have had a few more than that I didn't drink untill it made me act crazy or black out or anything. I have cut my drinking BY 2/3rds of what I used to drink and even BY 3/4th some other weeks.
I have moderated my drinking very well!
BUT I am still phychologically addicted to alcohol, so sometimes moderating does not work even when it is working.
So stick with the way you are going!
(Still don't know what I am going to do since I can't quit.)
Cailyn
I have moderated my drinking very well!
BUT I am still phychologically addicted to alcohol, so sometimes moderating does not work even when it is working.
So stick with the way you are going!
(Still don't know what I am going to do since I can't quit.)
Cailyn
Ginge, Crikey (I saw that in one of your posts) - don't really know what it means, but I love the word. lol ~ I started saying it at work "Oh Crikey" ~ You had a perfectly normal thought for an alcoholic...as stated before you are "romancing" the drink...however, you are not obsessing on it or having physical cravings, at least that's the way I read your post. At times I have a fleeting thought of how nice it would be to have a glass of wine after work ~ who am I kidding, I am an alcoholic and one was never enough! Also, as mentioned before I think that drink all the way through, and try to never forget my last drunk...in fact, I journaled it so now I can re-read it....it reminds me exactly where I came from. More importantly, you told on yourself...by posting here...when I share at meetings about what's really going on with me...it takes the power away from what my head is trying to tell me. You're doing terrific!
Cailyn,
Happy to see you your post! Glad to hear you are doing well with moderation. I believe if you ever want total sobriety you can do it...heck, I did it and I thought I was a hopeless case ~ thought I'd die a hopeless alcoholic/addict.
Cailyn,
Happy to see you your post! Glad to hear you are doing well with moderation. I believe if you ever want total sobriety you can do it...heck, I did it and I thought I was a hopeless case ~ thought I'd die a hopeless alcoholic/addict.
Hi Ginge,
I remember when you stopped drinking! I was going to also but wasn't really sick of it I guess. I'm almost to 30 days now and going to AA and have a sponsor.
I think that romancing thing does happen. I was at the dog park hot and sweaty the other day and thought it will sure be great to have one of those cranberry coolers. Sure like that is gonna happen! I kept thinking about it for awhile then got my water out. lol
Just don't act on it. You are an inspiration to all of us.
pm
I remember when you stopped drinking! I was going to also but wasn't really sick of it I guess. I'm almost to 30 days now and going to AA and have a sponsor.
I think that romancing thing does happen. I was at the dog park hot and sweaty the other day and thought it will sure be great to have one of those cranberry coolers. Sure like that is gonna happen! I kept thinking about it for awhile then got my water out. lol
Just don't act on it. You are an inspiration to all of us.
pm
I have heard in the rooms of AA that we are not responsible for our thoughts ,but we are responsible for our actions.
Thank God for that.
I have those fleeting thoughts all the time- but so far in sobriety (one day at a time) I have not acted upon it.
Don't beat your self up for those moments- its just the disease popping up. It is always there ,just below the surface- I try to think through the drink.....to the next day and the consequences of my actions if i did.It always works...so far.
I stick close to the program and share when I get those thoughts, I always feel better.
Good luck and God Bless.
Carolyn
Thank God for that.
I have those fleeting thoughts all the time- but so far in sobriety (one day at a time) I have not acted upon it.
Don't beat your self up for those moments- its just the disease popping up. It is always there ,just below the surface- I try to think through the drink.....to the next day and the consequences of my actions if i did.It always works...so far.
I stick close to the program and share when I get those thoughts, I always feel better.
Good luck and God Bless.
Carolyn
Hi to everyone,
Thank you all of your replys!!!
I had an early nite last nite, up bright and early this morning, Not thinking of drinking,
Yesterday was one of the strangest for me yet in my sober time. I am at 14 mths today, thankfully I didnt stuff that up yesterday,
Thank you very much again,Have a happy and safe easter.
Ginge
Thank you all of your replys!!!
I had an early nite last nite, up bright and early this morning, Not thinking of drinking,
Yesterday was one of the strangest for me yet in my sober time. I am at 14 mths today, thankfully I didnt stuff that up yesterday,
Thank you very much again,Have a happy and safe easter.
Ginge
VW Girl,
Thank you for your response. Nice to hear from you!
Perhaps someday I will quit altogether, it might be easier that way actually.
Guess, I am not quite ready to do that yet. But if I do decide to do that I will do the AA thing all the way.
Have a Happy Easter!
Take Care,
Cailyn
Thank you for your response. Nice to hear from you!
Perhaps someday I will quit altogether, it might be easier that way actually.
Guess, I am not quite ready to do that yet. But if I do decide to do that I will do the AA thing all the way.
Have a Happy Easter!
Take Care,
Cailyn
Happy Saturday All, Just checkin' in...everyone is doing well I hope. Loved reading all of your posts...Have a Happy Easter!
P.S.-I was going to put my email address at the bottom of my last post, just incase anyone here would like to communicate with me off list but then I forgot.
Cailyn_h123@yahoo.com
Cailyn_h123@yahoo.com
