Is it worth every possible try? How do you get through to a user?
I have heard time & time again; Recovery has to be the addicts choice.
But what makes an addict choose? The addict I know has chosen to protect her addiction at all cost. How can I possibly penetrate that barrier?
Help Please!
Gracia,
Only she can really say when enough is enough...i already suggested the intervention, and sometimes it can help sway the person to get help, if its done properly and with a lot of love, not judgement....
You just have to be there for her, and not enable her...dont "pretend" justbecause she does...call her out but in a gentle way and tellher when she is ready to ask for help its there for her. And pray for her.
Hugs
Ali
Only she can really say when enough is enough...i already suggested the intervention, and sometimes it can help sway the person to get help, if its done properly and with a lot of love, not judgement....
You just have to be there for her, and not enable her...dont "pretend" justbecause she does...call her out but in a gentle way and tellher when she is ready to ask for help its there for her. And pray for her.
Hugs
Ali
Good question, Gracia, with unfortunatly no cut and dried answers.
I hate the over simplification of this statement, but it really does take what it takes.
Many of us have to suffer horrible consequences. Some of us just get weary of the never ending cycle.
For me, it took finding out I had a choice. Seems ridiculous, doesn't it? But it's true. I honestly felt doomed to live out a life of using, as if I had ruined myself somehow.
Sometimes, as in my case, it takes someone to show you there's hope, to be tossed a life preserver when you feel as though you're drowning.
I don't know who you're speaking of but whoever it is, tell them there's a way out. Offer this person hope, tell them of others just like them who are clean and enjoying life again.
Believe me, when in using hell, it's hard to imagine that.
Love, Kat
I hate the over simplification of this statement, but it really does take what it takes.
Many of us have to suffer horrible consequences. Some of us just get weary of the never ending cycle.
For me, it took finding out I had a choice. Seems ridiculous, doesn't it? But it's true. I honestly felt doomed to live out a life of using, as if I had ruined myself somehow.
Sometimes, as in my case, it takes someone to show you there's hope, to be tossed a life preserver when you feel as though you're drowning.
I don't know who you're speaking of but whoever it is, tell them there's a way out. Offer this person hope, tell them of others just like them who are clean and enjoying life again.
Believe me, when in using hell, it's hard to imagine that.
Love, Kat
Kat
That is SO true.
Funny but I think that those that are so kind and give gentle but truthful advise to others by way of doing their steps are in fact a great way to show that.
The way that a person is, when they are happy with themselves and have a certain serenity about them,makes others want what they have.
They ( you) show a good example that life can still be good without drugs, just by being kind confident and happy.
I think that is easy to forget that you were ever happy without your DOC once you become truly addicted to it.
Hugs to you Kat
and to All,
Ali
That is SO true.
Funny but I think that those that are so kind and give gentle but truthful advise to others by way of doing their steps are in fact a great way to show that.
The way that a person is, when they are happy with themselves and have a certain serenity about them,makes others want what they have.
They ( you) show a good example that life can still be good without drugs, just by being kind confident and happy.
I think that is easy to forget that you were ever happy without your DOC once you become truly addicted to it.
Hugs to you Kat
and to All,
Ali
Dear Ali & Kat,
Thank you for your insightful comments and thank you for your compassion towards both me and my friend. This is by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to work out in my life. I positively know that an intervention will not work because she has already made that perfectly clear. A group of friends have been considering The Marshman Act where we would petition for her to go into rehab without her consent, enforced by the state court system, but this seems awfully harsh.I have been urged by some to just leave her alone, she will crash and then our job is to pick her up and get her into a program that will fit her needs. I am afraid that this could go on for years and the brian damage could be irreversible. She is already suffering from extreem paranoia and psychotic breaks.
Thank you Ali & Kat for 'listening' you seem to me to be two very extrordinary women.
Thank you for your insightful comments and thank you for your compassion towards both me and my friend. This is by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to work out in my life. I positively know that an intervention will not work because she has already made that perfectly clear. A group of friends have been considering The Marshman Act where we would petition for her to go into rehab without her consent, enforced by the state court system, but this seems awfully harsh.I have been urged by some to just leave her alone, she will crash and then our job is to pick her up and get her into a program that will fit her needs. I am afraid that this could go on for years and the brian damage could be irreversible. She is already suffering from extreem paranoia and psychotic breaks.
Thank you Ali & Kat for 'listening' you seem to me to be two very extrordinary women.
Gracia,
You might want to check out Ala-non. It is for family and friends of drug addicts and alcoholics. It's free and you can learn ways to help her without enabling her. This group will also help you learn to cope with all of this. Just be there for her. She will eventually hit rock bottom and need you. I wish you both the best. Take care, Atlas
You might want to check out Ala-non. It is for family and friends of drug addicts and alcoholics. It's free and you can learn ways to help her without enabling her. This group will also help you learn to cope with all of this. Just be there for her. She will eventually hit rock bottom and need you. I wish you both the best. Take care, Atlas
I have to be honest - if I would have had a limitless amount of money, I'd still be using. Than k God I couldn't pay my bills - it made me come clean.
Gracia, I can only tell you what worked for me. All my money resources ran dry. My mom and dad stopped dishing out money, All my friends stopped calling. I sold everything. I cashed in all my kids bonds and CD's. I was losing my house-(3 months behind), they were looking for my car to reposess and the police were at my door wanting my children to take away from me. I still wanted to play the poor victim role. "Why is everryone picking on me?" There was no where else to go. I think the suggestions of alanon or naranon are great. It took for me to have everyone detach from saving me before I sought help. Some people it doesn't take that hard of a bottom and others it takes more. I can only share what it took for me. Ali had suggested about the intervention. I think that is a great idea too and sticking to the consequences, not giving in. Good Luck, Dawn
There is a show on Sunday nights called Intervention. I can't remember what channel but it comes on at 10:00 EST. Real addicts getting a real intervention. It may interest you if this is something you are considering.
It's on A & E at 9 pm Central Time! Love it - and boy can you relate if they show a pill head!!!
Thank you EVERYONE for your attention to my crisis.
What if someone had made the decision to get clean for you?
What would you have done if you were faced with state intervention and you had been sentenced by the court to a rehab facility?
Do you think it would have been effective or maybe just piss you off?
I will take your advice and attend a nar-anon meeting, I am aware that interventions work for some addicts but I know my friend and she has the strongest will alive.
Gracia
What if someone had made the decision to get clean for you?
What would you have done if you were faced with state intervention and you had been sentenced by the court to a rehab facility?
Do you think it would have been effective or maybe just piss you off?
I will take your advice and attend a nar-anon meeting, I am aware that interventions work for some addicts but I know my friend and she has the strongest will alive.
Gracia
I think it depends on the person. I have seen some that come into NA and do it for someone else and find that it only to be temporary solution until that person gets off the addicts back. I go to a treatment facility weekly and see some go there as a court order and use the rehab as a vacation=They have a nice warm place to lay their head and food. Some have stayed around and made major changes and others have not. I think it doesn't hurt to try anything. Once the seed of recovery was planted and I knew there was another way to live- it messed up my highs or even trying to get high. It wasn't until I was beaten down and said enough is enough and too much pain that I made changes. Never give up hope but take care of you. Dawn
Even if it does not work the first time around, it will still be a huge wake up call for her. If she uses again, it may not take as long to hit her rock bottom. Whether she wants to or not, she will learn some things in treatment. That knowledge will be with her even if she continues to use.
A recovering alcoholic with 10+ years sober told me that once he went to AA and rehab, it made it harder on him to continue drinking. As he was drinking, he knew he did not have to be. He knew his life could be better. Before AA and treatment he just thought he had to live that way, he did not identify with anyone, he must be the only one who was that bad. The things he learned whispered to him while he was drinking, and finally he listened. He drank for 20 years, then finally sobered up and has been for 10 years.
A recovering alcoholic with 10+ years sober told me that once he went to AA and rehab, it made it harder on him to continue drinking. As he was drinking, he knew he did not have to be. He knew his life could be better. Before AA and treatment he just thought he had to live that way, he did not identify with anyone, he must be the only one who was that bad. The things he learned whispered to him while he was drinking, and finally he listened. He drank for 20 years, then finally sobered up and has been for 10 years.
Hey Gracia, you ask the tough questions, lol.
There were two things I feared in active addiction, losing my children and jail. If one of those things were in the picture I would have done anything I was told to.
If not it would have just pissed me off. I would have played the victim card to the hilt.
I think you have to be ready. Sometimes consequences will bring us to that point, sometimes we die. I believe more than anything else, education is the key, plus a willingness to try. If you could find a way to get your friend to be at least willing to attempt sobriety, it would be wonderful for her.
I think she's lucky to have you. We should all be so lucky.
Love, Kat
There were two things I feared in active addiction, losing my children and jail. If one of those things were in the picture I would have done anything I was told to.
If not it would have just pissed me off. I would have played the victim card to the hilt.
I think you have to be ready. Sometimes consequences will bring us to that point, sometimes we die. I believe more than anything else, education is the key, plus a willingness to try. If you could find a way to get your friend to be at least willing to attempt sobriety, it would be wonderful for her.
I think she's lucky to have you. We should all be so lucky.
Love, Kat