hey people, i havent been on here in a long time but iv got some q?. exuse my typing....im a mess. so i used to be on methadoen for almost 3 years, i lost my insurance and couldnt afford to pay out of pocket. i knew i was losing it so i started a rapid detox at 21mg. that brounght me down to 8mg last sunday. i decided it was just prolonging the whole things so i got a leave of absence from work to kick this s*** at home and expected to be able to be back to work this monday. today is day 6 with out dosing. i had a really, really hard time on day 4 and then all of a sudden i felt pretty good yesterday-no 100% but good. now i wake up today and i want to kill myselft all over again. how long till the tuff part is over. iv had numberuous attempts kicking dose , but this is the 1st with methdone. all i keep hearing is "everyones different". well im sure, but there must me an average. and is it normal to feel better and then feeel worse.? they've given me clonadine, visteril, and dalmane. on the side i had ativan, and did have some somas. i wish i new how much worse it was going to get and i would have saved those somas for now. thats all i want=-a muscle relaxer. people: im going damn nuts. NUTS. when will this ease up. i didnt think leaving at such a low dose would be this bad. i mean i know what w/d is all about but i just didnt think it would be like this. i am taking any suggestions! im all alone, not to mention 3 other huge life changes that are going on and i just cant cope with this. all i get is bitcheyness ajbout it. today is the first day i just really feel like throwing the towel in. i know that my place at the clinic is still there......i know i can get something if i want to, BUT I DONT WANT TOO. iv made it to day 6! but i donwt know....i really down. im feeling so overwhelmed right now. i cant even stay still to keep my mind on somthing else! i have one little vicadine here and have been playing with it for hours, should i, shouldnt i. i know i should just toss it in the toilet but i cant let it go. if i take it, will my detox start alll over again or willl it just start back up in a few hours. what the hell can i do.
please respond friends, please.
toss the V in the toilet. stick to it. don't give up. my BF has been kicking using Suboxone for a week and a half. he says that out of all the times he's tried to kick, the easiest has been with Suboxone. (i hope i'm spelling it right)
anyway, i am not a user but i love one very much and i know he's had some rough days, but he is still not shooting dope. don't give into your desire. the faster you walk away from it, the faster you will have a happy normal life back. please....your natural opiates will kick back in on their own. but you need to stop feeding opiates to your body, when your on drugs your body STOPS producing the normal levels you need. suck it up. read a book. clean the house. go for a long walk. anything but putting that toxic s*** onto your body. YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO.
all the best,
D
anyway, i am not a user but i love one very much and i know he's had some rough days, but he is still not shooting dope. don't give into your desire. the faster you walk away from it, the faster you will have a happy normal life back. please....your natural opiates will kick back in on their own. but you need to stop feeding opiates to your body, when your on drugs your body STOPS producing the normal levels you need. suck it up. read a book. clean the house. go for a long walk. anything but putting that toxic s*** onto your body. YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO.
all the best,
D
i should know all this, but the addictive thinking is really sinking in today. nobodys is here with me. i cant settle down enought to get into enjoying anything! sitting here typing is miserable! that pill is like a little securtity blanket. im just falling to peices today. i want to go to this na meeting in a bit but i dont think i can even sit still threw it. iv been wobbling side to side in my chair for hours. in the whole 3 years on methadone i cant say i ever had a real desire to get dope, its amazing how much im thinking about it right now. its never really bothered me up untill this week. i know its my addictions but i feel it pulling me closeer and closer. i know i willl HATE myself if i get something but i cant stop thsse god damn feelings. i dont really have anyone to talk to, i do but half dont understand and the other is my sort of ex who was in teh program as long as me, he switched to subs and stayed on that for 1month and hes doing great...but hes a hard a** on me. i guess i need that but i dont want to hear it ...do you know? i dont know, i really dont. im just venting here...going out of my mind i guess. but thanx for responding.
i'm starting my detox off of methadone also. i was on 85 mg for a little less than a month. i'm on day 2 and still haven't had anything other than sweats and runny nose.. all i know is that i really don't want to ever go back to that clinic and feel the way that i did when i was sitting n that line listening to all those other people talking about their methadone. i guess we just got to do it. i'm gonna be perscribed subutex once the real w/d's kick in so i at least have that to look forward to. maybe you should cheeck some doctors out. you can get a list of the nearest doctors around you at naabt.org or .com i can't remember which, but that's how i found my doc. i also read on the internet that any doc can supply an emergency script of suboxone, but just 3 days worth and that you have to take it in front of the doctor.
i was also given clonidine i haven't taken it yet though. and just like you i have a security vikaden waiting for if i can't handle it, i'm not strong enough to flush :((
i can give myself millions of reasons to not do it and to do it!!!
if you've made it 6 days i say GO FOR IT. just think of the pure life you'll be living after all this s***.
whatever you do don't go or call the clinic. they are going to tell you you need to come up and dose, which is exactly what you'll want to hear so you'll listen.
i've already twice tried calling the clinic to talk to my counselor but was talked out of it by my g/f.
it must suck doing it alone but you always have us on the cyberweb, and don't forget it!!
i was also given clonidine i haven't taken it yet though. and just like you i have a security vikaden waiting for if i can't handle it, i'm not strong enough to flush :((
i can give myself millions of reasons to not do it and to do it!!!
if you've made it 6 days i say GO FOR IT. just think of the pure life you'll be living after all this s***.
whatever you do don't go or call the clinic. they are going to tell you you need to come up and dose, which is exactly what you'll want to hear so you'll listen.
i've already twice tried calling the clinic to talk to my counselor but was talked out of it by my g/f.
it must suck doing it alone but you always have us on the cyberweb, and don't forget it!!
I look forward to reading your responses.....it gives me hope. i mean that.
i got real-really low last night for a lil' bit, but smartly enought i called a friend. i was way to sick to go to a meeting but she come over to lend support which was nice. being alone going threw this sucks! i made the step to tell her i had the vicadine...she damanded i flush it. we went back and forth about that for awhile but somehow i was able to bring my self to do.( of course i split in half and was going to keep it, saying it was gone) but as i flushed i tossed it in as well. it actually was big thing for me.
i went crazy, to say the least, trying to get to sleep last night. this sleeping pill the doc gave me doesnt even phase me-which is odd cuz stuff like that does me in. so needless to say i was up all night, tossing,turning,rocking and the whole nine. i know many wouldnt agree but iv been smoking pot to help with sleep and stomach pains. thats my choice and it helps for me. we could go round for round on that, but lets let it be. so that helped me get a few hours of sleep. my legs dont hurt as much today, but i know too well this might not be the case in a few hours. i felt the same yesterday. how much longer with this. i just want to be DONE! 2 years of using, 3 years of methadone......i cant stand it anymore. i refuse to go on suboxone, my doc has a spot for me...but the thoguht of lingering on another med-makes me ill! im not knocking it-im just done with this sh** thats all. i know some of you can feel me on that.
well i dont know any of ya and im just rambling i guess, but writing this makes me feel better-and know people in the same boat are reading it and offering suggestions is nice.
take care, peace~
i got real-really low last night for a lil' bit, but smartly enought i called a friend. i was way to sick to go to a meeting but she come over to lend support which was nice. being alone going threw this sucks! i made the step to tell her i had the vicadine...she damanded i flush it. we went back and forth about that for awhile but somehow i was able to bring my self to do.( of course i split in half and was going to keep it, saying it was gone) but as i flushed i tossed it in as well. it actually was big thing for me.
i went crazy, to say the least, trying to get to sleep last night. this sleeping pill the doc gave me doesnt even phase me-which is odd cuz stuff like that does me in. so needless to say i was up all night, tossing,turning,rocking and the whole nine. i know many wouldnt agree but iv been smoking pot to help with sleep and stomach pains. thats my choice and it helps for me. we could go round for round on that, but lets let it be. so that helped me get a few hours of sleep. my legs dont hurt as much today, but i know too well this might not be the case in a few hours. i felt the same yesterday. how much longer with this. i just want to be DONE! 2 years of using, 3 years of methadone......i cant stand it anymore. i refuse to go on suboxone, my doc has a spot for me...but the thoguht of lingering on another med-makes me ill! im not knocking it-im just done with this sh** thats all. i know some of you can feel me on that.
well i dont know any of ya and im just rambling i guess, but writing this makes me feel better-and know people in the same boat are reading it and offering suggestions is nice.
take care, peace~
Great Job on the flush !! That took a lot of strength to do that. You are strong and you will CONQUER ! I wish you the best.
My doc was hyrdrocodone--12-20 a day and i got on the suboxone 1/8 and have never been so optimistic about my life--It is really an amazing tool.
I respect your decision-You are very very brave for going the way you are going !! You can do this !!
God Blesss You--I will you all of my strength and hope to get through it !
My doc was hyrdrocodone--12-20 a day and i got on the suboxone 1/8 and have never been so optimistic about my life--It is really an amazing tool.
I respect your decision-You are very very brave for going the way you are going !! You can do this !!
God Blesss You--I will you all of my strength and hope to get through it !
