I have not posted in long time yet a lot as been going on. I did re start methadone september 2010 still on it been clean sience starting. Getting on the mdone caused a lot of conflict with my fiance because of the cost. I had started a detox to please my fiance. Just a few days ago I had a heart to heart with my fiance now, He has finally agreed "after months of conflict" that no matter the cost I sould stay on my methadone. I'm so annoyed that I allowed his feeling to cause me to try to detox "now i'm not on a stable dose.I told my man without the m-done no question that I would be using at some point. He said our relationship won't survive another relaspe so I have his support with the methadone for how ever long I need it. He will pick up the extra money cost. I work but, my money covers just my m done and gas with maybe $60-70 dollars a week left ...leaving all the house and utilitys and food on him. I go to my m-done group meeting every week even thou i only need 2 groups a month to get a take home. I had already arranged with my counslor that I could still attend meetings after I was detoxed out. The meetings are a huge sourse of support for me. Mentally i'm doing better but, I am craving a lot due to being on a low dose 52mg was up to 86mg before detox. I am mad at myself for not putting my foot down that I was not ready to be off/going down my med. I'm angry at my fiance for asking me to detox. Things are better i'm feeling more stable knowing I don't have to go off my done to keep my man happy. I get a lot of family presure to use my older brother offered me a oxycottin to give him a ride to his friends house..my little brother offers all the time to split a bag of H with him. My Dad was in rehab for 5 monts got out last week and is now smoking crack and drinking again. I need my fiances ssupport so much it feels so nice to have it now.
Hey ZG
Nice to hear from you again buddy,,its also nice to see you not at the depths of despair like you were just b4 going back on yer script... I remember having a right good chat wi u on facebook late one night,,or early one morning i should maybe say and i really enjoyed it as it made me understand about things with you so much more..I think you had just smashed your motor during your trip to or from the clinic one snowy morning..I remember being totally shocked at you were having to pay all your wages basically just to get and pay for the running costs to and from the clinic as it was in another state if i remember correctly.I know you didnt want anyones sympathy but it was hard not to sympathise with your predicament..
So now that you have your guys support sounds a whole lot better,,i,m really pleased for you in that respect but still find it so hard to accept the distance you have to travel and the costs you have to pay...I guess us Brits are spoiled compared to people like yourself....
Anyway my friend,,i hope you get back up to the dose you need and things continue to get better for you as in my opinion you have had your fill of hurt,n,hardship so good luck,n,take care of yourself..
Dont leave it so long the next time to check in as you have alot of friends on this board,,
ECK..xxx
Nice to hear from you again buddy,,its also nice to see you not at the depths of despair like you were just b4 going back on yer script... I remember having a right good chat wi u on facebook late one night,,or early one morning i should maybe say and i really enjoyed it as it made me understand about things with you so much more..I think you had just smashed your motor during your trip to or from the clinic one snowy morning..I remember being totally shocked at you were having to pay all your wages basically just to get and pay for the running costs to and from the clinic as it was in another state if i remember correctly.I know you didnt want anyones sympathy but it was hard not to sympathise with your predicament..
So now that you have your guys support sounds a whole lot better,,i,m really pleased for you in that respect but still find it so hard to accept the distance you have to travel and the costs you have to pay...I guess us Brits are spoiled compared to people like yourself....
Anyway my friend,,i hope you get back up to the dose you need and things continue to get better for you as in my opinion you have had your fill of hurt,n,hardship so good luck,n,take care of yourself..
Dont leave it so long the next time to check in as you have alot of friends on this board,,
ECK..xxx
ZG, you keep walking up that hill...I know that's how it feels...especially with a family that can't stay claen to help themselves, never mind support you. Hang in there and do what's right for you, Jen.
Love ~ M&M
Love ~ M&M
Do you have ESP? Seriously. I just wrote about you on here this morning. Was gonna try to get ahold of you and here you are.
Good news on your man's support. That says alot and da*n well helps immensely.
As always I am thinking of you. That's crazy with all that pressure from the family. Point blank I know if it was me I'd be really tempted. An oxy for aride? Splitting bags? Much respect.
You know I am sorry about your dad.
Hope the kids are good.
If you get a chance can you look at MomG's post on here?
Thanks honey. Much love.
Good news on your man's support. That says alot and da*n well helps immensely.
As always I am thinking of you. That's crazy with all that pressure from the family. Point blank I know if it was me I'd be really tempted. An oxy for aride? Splitting bags? Much respect.
You know I am sorry about your dad.
Hope the kids are good.
If you get a chance can you look at MomG's post on here?
Thanks honey. Much love.
