Hi Everyone,
I got some discouraging news. Well, let me give you a bit of background on my health issues first. My ankle has been in a cast for over a month. MRI and CT scan showed a big cyst in between bones or something and alot of other things that were not good. My two options are being in a brace for the rest of my life or surgery that will require a three month recovery period, limit movement in my ankle and minimize (not get rid of) the pain.
Secondly, I have a tear in my shoulder, haven't been to the ortho on that yet, but assuming it'll probably be surgery too.
Plus I have bad knees. (Used to be very athletic in my younger years).
Anyways, I have talked to my doctor about my concerns about the pills, and at yesterdays appointment I asked him what I'm about to ask you. Whats the point of having all these surgeries ifyou end up in pain anyway? I mean thats quite a bit. It all started with the knees. My doctor (gp) who I trust said that it could take down the amount I'm taking. But my problem is is that I don't want to fight this for the rest of my life, I'd like to be done with the pills at some point. And if I put myself thru all this, there's no guarantee that I will be done with the pills. I'm really discouraged because I've been trying. I got off the oxycontins because you guys terrified me about them. (Job well done in my opinion) and now I'm on regular oxycondone without the tylenol, as I had a problem with tylenol some time back as some of you may remember. Just whats the point of all this if I'm not going to get rid of the pain anyway? Or am I just justifying staying on the pills? I don't think so, but can't say 100%.
Either way you look at it, surgeries or not, I'll be an addict and have to have them held for me or something and I don't like them on my mind. Makes me think I'll never be the success story that I want to be.
Hi Wouldnt the point of surgery be to give you better movement to those areas?I would think that has something to do with it not just pain relief because youll always have some kind of pain to a injured area?
Using drugs and abusing drugs are two very different things. Take them as prescibed and if you cant do that let someone hold them for you.
I am here to tell you... taking what is prescibed, nothing less, nothing more, is a very proud feeling. Addictive even. Especially is youre a control freak. I just tapered from 4 mils a day of Xanax and I got off like a rocket everytime I tapered... LOVED it. I enjoyed kicking its a** every second of the day, love a good challenge and that it was.
I am here to tell you... taking what is prescibed, nothing less, nothing more, is a very proud feeling. Addictive even. Especially is youre a control freak. I just tapered from 4 mils a day of Xanax and I got off like a rocket everytime I tapered... LOVED it. I enjoyed kicking its a** every second of the day, love a good challenge and that it was.
Roe~ What's up lady? I am sorry you are in so much pain. This is going to be up to you and your doctor. You already know you can't take pills as prescribed. Most people can't and the ones that do even have a hard time getting off them.
So letting someone hold them is a great idea. How many oxycodone are you taking now? Is someone giving them to you as needed?
What hurts the most? Ankle,Shoulder or knees? I would start out having one sugery at a time and take it from there. I don't know what else to tell you.
We are here for you so keep posting. Love ya Rae
So letting someone hold them is a great idea. How many oxycodone are you taking now? Is someone giving them to you as needed?
What hurts the most? Ankle,Shoulder or knees? I would start out having one sugery at a time and take it from there. I don't know what else to tell you.
We are here for you so keep posting. Love ya Rae
Hi MJ,
Nice to hear from you. Well, in my ankle anyway, my movement will be a bit limited, not better, the others I don't know because I haven't looked into them that much yet, one thing at a time. Its just that yesterday was when I had to have my cast changed (3rd time) and all the tests were in and he went over them with me, I was with my six year old, so in two weeks, I have an appointment with my ankle doc, my husband and my best friend for many questions, as I'm pretty medically ignorant.
Mrs. Understood, Thanks for that perspective. That is an interesting point, I guess if I can take as prescribed I'm winning? But its just that I want to be clean and count my days and be like alot of people on here that I've looked up to and admired for a long time. But thank you, that is a very interesting point. I am a bit of a control freak, I just feel so weak when it comes to me and controlling pills, I've tried. I have someone holding them for me now and its so consuming to think about when I can go get more, when its time, etc. I don't like thinking about it that much, but its on my mind. I've even gotten a dose and not taken it, saved it till I could get the next one so that I can take a double dose. I don't sound like someone who would do good being on these like this. (I can't beleive I just admitted that). Roe
Nice to hear from you. Well, in my ankle anyway, my movement will be a bit limited, not better, the others I don't know because I haven't looked into them that much yet, one thing at a time. Its just that yesterday was when I had to have my cast changed (3rd time) and all the tests were in and he went over them with me, I was with my six year old, so in two weeks, I have an appointment with my ankle doc, my husband and my best friend for many questions, as I'm pretty medically ignorant.
Mrs. Understood, Thanks for that perspective. That is an interesting point, I guess if I can take as prescribed I'm winning? But its just that I want to be clean and count my days and be like alot of people on here that I've looked up to and admired for a long time. But thank you, that is a very interesting point. I am a bit of a control freak, I just feel so weak when it comes to me and controlling pills, I've tried. I have someone holding them for me now and its so consuming to think about when I can go get more, when its time, etc. I don't like thinking about it that much, but its on my mind. I've even gotten a dose and not taken it, saved it till I could get the next one so that I can take a double dose. I don't sound like someone who would do good being on these like this. (I can't beleive I just admitted that). Roe
RAE!!!
Hi girlie, didn't see your post till after I posted the last one. Oxycodones are 15mg 1 pill four times a day as needed.
I miss you girl. Email me so i can email ya back. How is the family? How are you? Has anyone mentioned Fla, or did it kinda die out? I have to find Marie's number and call her, I haven't talked to her in weeks and I miss her, have you heard from her? Love you too.
Hi girlie, didn't see your post till after I posted the last one. Oxycodones are 15mg 1 pill four times a day as needed.
I miss you girl. Email me so i can email ya back. How is the family? How are you? Has anyone mentioned Fla, or did it kinda die out? I have to find Marie's number and call her, I haven't talked to her in weeks and I miss her, have you heard from her? Love you too.
Roe you should be proud that you did admit it.That couldnt of been easy for you.I hear ya when you say double dosen.I use to steal from myself if you can belive that.My BF would hold my pills,well the poor man as soon as he got home as soon as his back was turned Id steal some.Robbing myself so I ALWAYS ended up short at the end of the month.It amazes me sometimes some of the crap we will do just in search of that lasting buzz.But the jokes on us because there is NO SUCH THING as a lasting buzz ya gotta come down sometimes & depending on how far up you are it can be one hell of a long fall back down.
3rd cast change?My goodness you must be so sick of it all.Is your cast colored or just white???
3rd cast change?My goodness you must be so sick of it all.Is your cast colored or just white???
Roe~ Your a strong woman in every other way but I just don't think so when it comes to pills. You CANNOT ever have them on you and take them as prescribed.... I have been using on and off since 1996 and I am one of the rare ones that always took less than prescribed. It may be because I am a control freak,LOL I like to stash them and have some left over just in case my doctor would cut me off or something. Isn't that funny....I can't remember a time where I ran out early and had to withdrawl til my next appt. So everyone is different. You are doing the best thing by letting someone hold them. Anyway, how are the kids?
How are you enjoying your nice new home?
How are you enjoying your nice new home?
Briar:
Someone holding my pills would have never worked, would have felt as if something was being taken from me. My pills were always right here for the taking. I knew I could sit here all day long and chew them like tic tacs but that was only screwing myself. I would look at the bottle through the day and snicker a lil. It was like the devil sitting there trying to seduce me and I pretended not to even notice. So, he packed up and headed out.
Remember though, I never felt high so I had nothing to miss. I only had withdrawals to beat. I never had the 'god it would feel so good to have a buzz right now" cravings. Hate to admit this, but I was so uneducated about xanax that I didnt even know it gave you a buzz. I took it like clock work thinking I was being a good girl so I never felt mini w'ds, although I know now that I did I just didnt know what I was feeling.
Our addictions are so much the same but getting clean is sooooo different for everyone. Most people say nooooo way with the pills right there. I say nooooo way if they would have been taken from me. I would have felt resentment and out of control... two emotions I steer clear of. You do what works for you and if that is someone holding your meds, you do that. Me, I would have freaked.
Someone holding my pills would have never worked, would have felt as if something was being taken from me. My pills were always right here for the taking. I knew I could sit here all day long and chew them like tic tacs but that was only screwing myself. I would look at the bottle through the day and snicker a lil. It was like the devil sitting there trying to seduce me and I pretended not to even notice. So, he packed up and headed out.
Remember though, I never felt high so I had nothing to miss. I only had withdrawals to beat. I never had the 'god it would feel so good to have a buzz right now" cravings. Hate to admit this, but I was so uneducated about xanax that I didnt even know it gave you a buzz. I took it like clock work thinking I was being a good girl so I never felt mini w'ds, although I know now that I did I just didnt know what I was feeling.
Our addictions are so much the same but getting clean is sooooo different for everyone. Most people say nooooo way with the pills right there. I say nooooo way if they would have been taken from me. I would have felt resentment and out of control... two emotions I steer clear of. You do what works for you and if that is someone holding your meds, you do that. Me, I would have freaked.
Forgot to answer your question Rae, shoulder hurts this a.m. thats why I'm up so early. Yesterday I was on my foot too much so it was that and the knees are pretty much a constant bother. I am so grateful that I don't have a bad back. I really feel for those who do. I mean, you can't do anything without using your back. When my foot and knees hurt, I can sit down, shoulder, heat and those smelly rubs help (with the pills) but I really feel for back pain people, there really would be no releif from that.
Hi Roe,
What you are living, I see ever day. Yet mine knows it isn't only just the pain that drives him to abuse.....But the pain is the factor in the mix that he can't deal with the most.
I think you need to get your doctors together and get yourself a good addiction counsellor on who knows how pain plays into addiction. Yes there are some out there or a shrink. Have everyone on the same page,and take one thing at a time. Start with the most important, the thing that is effecting your quality of life the most. Then go onto the next and the next......Keeping present the fact that in time and with some patience there will come a point where you will be able to put most of this behind you, have the surgeries/rehab done. That probably will be the day you will start thinking seriously about putting those pills away also....
I wish you nothing but the best. Sounds like it will be a long hard road......I will keep you in my prayers...
You take care of you ok....
Love,
Tina
What you are living, I see ever day. Yet mine knows it isn't only just the pain that drives him to abuse.....But the pain is the factor in the mix that he can't deal with the most.
I think you need to get your doctors together and get yourself a good addiction counsellor on who knows how pain plays into addiction. Yes there are some out there or a shrink. Have everyone on the same page,and take one thing at a time. Start with the most important, the thing that is effecting your quality of life the most. Then go onto the next and the next......Keeping present the fact that in time and with some patience there will come a point where you will be able to put most of this behind you, have the surgeries/rehab done. That probably will be the day you will start thinking seriously about putting those pills away also....
I wish you nothing but the best. Sounds like it will be a long hard road......I will keep you in my prayers...
You take care of you ok....
Love,
Tina
Hi Roe.... will you please email me (I don't have your email address)?
We need to talk.
Love you
We need to talk.
Love you
Tina's right Roe. That sounds like a great idea. I will send you an e-mail soon. Go talk to Lisa. I'll write ya soon. Best of luck to you, keep posting.
Missed ya, Rae
Missed ya, Rae
Tina,
Your such a caring and good person. I love your advice. Always have.
Cowgirl: YOU'VE GOT MAIL
Rae, you right, I am not strong when it comes to these damn things. Other than that, kids are fine, house is great, I love it. I'll send you some pics of it.
Your such a caring and good person. I love your advice. Always have.
Cowgirl: YOU'VE GOT MAIL
Rae, you right, I am not strong when it comes to these damn things. Other than that, kids are fine, house is great, I love it. I'll send you some pics of it.
Dear Roe I hope you will keep us updated on whats going on.Until we talk again....take care & if I can help out in anyway please let me know....mj
Roseanne,
Send me some pic's. I would love to see them. I will send you a few. I need to take the baby to have her's done soon. Seems like everytime I get ready to go she falls and gets a bruise on the forehead,LOL Gotta love the one year old walking,climbing and throwing fits when she doesn't get her way! Oh what fun.
She is too funny though she has personalitiy+...............Rae
Send me some pic's. I would love to see them. I will send you a few. I need to take the baby to have her's done soon. Seems like everytime I get ready to go she falls and gets a bruise on the forehead,LOL Gotta love the one year old walking,climbing and throwing fits when she doesn't get her way! Oh what fun.
She is too funny though she has personalitiy+...............Rae
