Whats The First Step???


Ive been off and on this sight all day just reading other posts .. I guess trying to find the majic answer. Ill start from the beginning, about 2 years ago I went to the ER and was givin percocet, gawd they were great! Well, now its 2 years later and I dont know how its happened, I cant stop. I was in a really abusive relationship and JUST had a new baby. Those pills made all the pain go away, I all the sudden could even do laundry and actually play with my new baby. Accept then I only took them every 4-6 hrs. When it happened I dont know but am up to 20 a day now sometimes I get ahold of morphine too. Problem now is its going to end up killing me for one, and not only that but it doesnt really even feel good. Now I take them just to feel normal, and sometimes I think they actually make me hurt more.. my muscles just ache. I tried stopping.. only lasted the first part of the morning when I started feeling feverish and couldnt stay awake to watch my own baby. I dont have anyone to help me with my kids btw, their father is in jail for attepted murder on me (thank God he is gone) now that he is gone and me and my kids can start living a normal life without hiding I want to do it right.. completely clean. How long will the wd's last do I really need to see a Dr? Can I do it by myself? I just dont know what to do.... whats the first step???
PLEASE REPLY SOON!
you should find a dr in your area that prescribes suboxone...with a new baby, inpatient treatment will be a challenge...
I tried to put up a link, but I am technologically challenged...Misty is better at that...
And welcome. You are not alone, and it can be done...
You will miss out on so much of your babys life...one mistake I regret so much.
So you are in the right place, and others will be along soon to offer you some help..
Kerry
Kerry's right about the suboxone..... It will help you go through the recovery process with little or no withdrawal symptoms, so that you'll still be able to take care of your baby AND yourself.

If you don't want to go the sub route, you can also try tapering..... Reduce the amount of pills you take each day by one pill and then just quit when they're all gone. You will still have withdrawal symptoms, but they won't be nearly as bad as they would be without the tapering.

Be prepared, though, that very few people can successfully taper.... Most people cheat because tapering still keeps the drugs in the front of your life.

If you do decide to go cold turkey, you will feel like you have a bad case of the flu. Is there anyone who could watch your baby for you for a couple of days while you go through this? Be sure to keep some Cold & Flu medicine, benadryl (for sleep), Immodium, gatorade, vitamins, and ibuprofen on hand for the process and you should be okay.

Good luck!
Danielle
Dear single mom.I was where you are at one time.I finally left my abusive SOB after he cut my throat 12 years ago.I dont know if that was the reason I started the pain pills or if I was just a train wreck waiting to happen.I want to welcome you & hope we can make you feel less alone in this.We are here so post your heart out & we will try to help....mj
Dear singlemom,

I remember when I was taking 20-30 hydro (vic) a day and it wasn't really working anymore either. The tolerance builds up fast, and you need more and more to produce less and less of an effect....it's a dead end street, and expensive as hell.

People have various experiences withdrawing off percocet on this site. Some have gone cold turkey, some have tapered down (reduced their daily dosage over time, then gone cold turkey), some have gone to a detox facility for a medically-aided and supervised withdrawal, and others have gone on short and long courses of treatment with buprenorhine. Some people will swear that cold turkey is the right or best way, others swear by bup. Personally, I tapered down to 6/hydro a day and then went c/t. Whatever you choose, I think most would recommend that you consult a physician and work out a safe plan for the physical withdrawal. You have been taking a lot of percocet for a lobng time, so the physical withdrawals will likely be pretty rough....wish I could say differently. No need to do it alone and without medical supervision, especially if you're the primary caregiver for small chidren. If you want to learn more about bup, you might try the following link: http://buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/

Whatever plan you decide to try for the physical withdrawal, please also consider putting in place a plan for the mental addiction afterward. You'll see people on this site say over and over that stopping the pills was hard, but staying stopped was the biggest challenge. the mental addiction is cunning, powerful, and stays with you.....we have all found that ongoing treatment -- whether individual or group counseling, 12-step or secular programs, Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs), etc. -- have been essential to maintaining longterm abstinence. Try to keep an open mind and don't let pride stand in the way.....there is absolutely nothing weak in seeking help to battle this disease of addiction. You wouldn't try to get over diabetes or cancer alone, so there's no need to battle adiction alone either.

Glad you're here singlememom, and glad you had the courage to post about your situation. Getting honest with someone, anyone, is such an important first step toward recovery. I flushed the remainder of my norcos more than 8 months ago and I can't remember a better time in my life than today. Maybe it's because I have a newfound appreciation for the freedom you get when you're no longer a slave to a bottle of pills....Keep posting and asking questions. You'll find your path, and you can get on the other side of this. Peace, M.
welcome,

the first step is admitting your powerless over your addiction...there are detox dr.'s out there and out patient rehabs. that is the route i went. you can find a dr who will give medicine non narcotic to help ease your withdrawal symptoms. it wont be easy but it doesnt last forever.

check into all your options there are alternatives to sub. consider the fact that you can do this more then one way. i'm not all that up on the sub...from what i understand is that you will withdrawal from sub as well.it also sounds expensive especially if you need a long term usage. i am not knocking sub. i am just saying do a little research. stick around read and see that there are different approaches. you can decide what best suits your lifestyle.

try going to an n.a. meeting or a.a. that doesnt cost a thing. you can learn from others there as well how they did it. what worked best for them.

either way you will be supported here. stick around there are lots of good people willing to help and answer any questions you may have.

terrianne
that is exactly what I meant to say, none...lol...
Good luck single mom, and like None said, I have found that staying stopped afterwards was by far the biggest challenge. Congrats on the new baby!
Kerry
Hey and here I thought I was good for something, Kerry......lol
I have some more info on sub I am putting in some links for you, which should help you also Singlemom........I hope that you find some good things that will help you to get out of the pill hell that you are in.....
Hugs,
Tina

http://www.helpmegetoffdrugs.com/
http://www.heroin-detox.com/forum.a....asp?FORUM_ID=4
Just wanted to say Welcome, SingleMom! I'm so glad you found this site. There are tons of people here who will help you.
It's worth it for your kids, and mainly for YOU!
Hi and welcome to the board. How old is the baby? Did you stop taking the percocets while pregnant? Do you have a doctor that can detox you?
I think sub is ok for some but for others it isn't the answer. Have you tried Na meeting? Have you tried cutting back on your pill intake? 20 pills a day is alot. I can't relate to that. I feel it may be life or death for you. Sub is very expensive for a single mom, so I don't know if that is an option for you or not. I will tell you I quit percocet back in 1998 after using for 2 years. I quit the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. Granted I was only taking 1-2 pills a day but still I quit and got through it. I stayed clean for a year and went back to taking vicodin here and there for an injury but my point is it can be done.... Tell us more about you!!! Rae
First, Thank all of you for the replies. Funny I woke up this morning and yeah, first thing took a few pills so I can get to work today. BUT not with the same feeling as even yesterday morning. Did it happen for anyone else like that too ... just one day ya make yourself sick looking at yourself .. the way you act taking these.. I really want to stop and yeah, I know now I cant do it by myself. instead of taking three and 1/2 on waking up tho I only took 2 this morning, I am going to TRY tapering down but not really sure I can. I have such easy access to them Im going to be honest and say I am not too confident I can do it this way.. but I am going to try. If I go to my Dr and he cant give me sub or anything will he turn me in? Dont know if Im just paranoid or what but thats kinda what is stopping me. Anyway, Im running late for work now ... this is when it would be easier for me to just pop a few more.. you know so I can feel better .. have that energy to get me there faster ... wonder how it is Im not a walking zombie with all these? hmmm... I read a bit more last night tho on this board .. old posts etc. while I was impatiently waiting for your replies and actually see my story is really not so bad actually theres so many just like mine, kinda crazy when you think about it. I guess ya just never really realize how strong a hold something can have over you. Thank you guys SOOO much for your replies. I will be back. Im so scared of the wd's but I guess I can always lie and say I have the flu and keep telling myself it doesnt last long .. bout how long anyway? Like a weekend or week before you start feeling like yourself again... the energy probably doesnt come bnack that quick tho does it. I read someone said walking helped them .. exercize seems like a good idea. I dont know why the wd's scare me more that the actual stopping forever process.
Ah Gawd.. Im going to be late! Thank you again .. I hope you dont mind me posting alot ... Ive decided to try quiting this weekend that way I have the whole weekend to slumber. the more I think about it .. I know Im not strong enouph for tapering. Should I feel better by monday to get back to work or should I use a vacation day?
RAE -- forgot to answer your Q's. No I wasnt using when pregnant. As I said but briefly thats kinda how I got started. It was right after I had her, I had a huge hemroid and wnt to the ER and got it lacerated, they gave me the pills then and even tho it was only 20 that time, I was going through so much at that time with my abuser it just made me feel better and had more energy to take care of her then.. she is now almost two ... going through wd's with a 2 yr old running wild is whats really scaring me .. when he (my abuser) tried to kill me in just Dec my Doc has been giving me plenty because of the injuries I suffered.. even tho I know Im not feeling them anymore. Not only that but I work in the med field and is so easy to get ahold of them .. when I started two yrs ago after my scrip ran out it was amazing how many other people around me either took them or could get them so I just never stoppped I always made sure I had more when I got down to 30-50 .. usually I get a bottle of 100ct and its not very expensive for me .. I usually tell ppl they arent for me or use fibro myalga sp? for my reason and nobody says no ... Uhg.. Im late for work!
Use as many vacations days as you can. I know you say you are not strong enough to tapper but I would really suggest you rty. You just said you usually take 3 in the morning just to wake up but today you took ONLY 2. So see that is tappering. Now try it in the afternoon and eveing. Cutting back little by little will help the withdrawl process. When I quit percocet back in 1998 I really don't remember how long it took to get over the withdrawls. If I had to guess the worst of it was over in 1 week.Energy wise I would say give yorself a good 2 weeks. With you taking 20 a day or so for 2 years it may take a little longer. Everyone is different. The fact that it CAN be done remains the same.
A few suggestions:
Exercise as much as you can even if it hurts.
Multi-vitamins and B-12 help with energy.
Comtrex Cold and Flu(day time and night time pills
Benadryl for sleep
Motrin 800 mg for aches
Hot bathes
Remember you CAN do this and don't be paranoid about your doctor turning you in. That is ridiculous.If he is giving you percocet trust me he will not turn you in for wanting help. If he is not giving you percocet and you are getting them elsewhere well then I would suggest finding a doctor that specializes in detoxing or an out-patient treatment facility. I know being a single mom is hard and rehab is probably out of the question. Try a NA meeting it may benefit you more than you think. Take care and post all you want if it helps! Rae
single..
first let me say congrats on your coming here and realizing that you cant keep this up...
second let me say most importantly... that you can do this without the use of anything else.... sub or any other drugs (except over the counter stuff) ... all you have to do is quiet your fear of w/d ...this is often worse than the actual w/d itself... if you let your mind take over and all you do is lay around letting your mind tell you how bad you feel and say pooor pooor me... I am soo sick than you will be very sick... if you set your mind that this will be temportary and uncomfortable but that you are a strong independant woman that you have come through the abuse of a husband and all.. you CAN do this ... many many others have and in about 3-4 days you will be done with the worst of the sick...

lastly you need to do both couseling and NA/AA ...counceling for the abuse in your backround ... you have a child to raise and you dont want any cycles of self medicating to go through to them... i dont mean to say it would be on purpose but.. our behaviours have a way of just be consistant with co-dependancey even if we dont use drugs.. that taking care of every one except yourself symdrome is not always healthy and a child will pick that us and well you will learn about this is therapy.... secondly NA/AA will teach you about your addiction as a disease and how to deal with the mental aspects of the cravings when they come and give you tools and face contacts to talk you through it... it is without a doubt what saved my life and continues to to this day...

as for inpatient rehab... if you can go... go.. if not then do the best you can.. but... to automatically switch to sub.... will at this point in my opinion is just not a good choice.

btw.. I am also a single mom and have been clean for over 4 years... went cold turkey from 30 pills a day....
God Bless
Teresa
Teresa,
Have I told you how smart you are lately? Well consider it done!LOL You always have great advice and I love reading your posts..Maybe it's because I know you know what you are talking about with 4 years clean, you must be doing something right.
So anyway,how are you? What's up, talk to me. Rae
rae...
well i was a little perterbed at the beginning of this thread some of the replies... (not you..) and if you know me .. you know why but....I posted and now I feel some better .. I still dont get why ... of wel...
anyway i am doing ok.... hope things are well with you.....

thanks for the words.. you dont do too bad yourself...

Teresa
:-) Thanks!
Now what I am about to say is in my own words here and everyone can take it for what it's worth. I think suboxone MAY be good for some. I think if it is used short term like 2-3 weeks to get over the biggest hump of withdrawl then that is one thing. Anything longer than that in getting over an opiate addiction is just ridiculous in my opinion. I hear so much talk on this board about sub this and sub that and I am truely happy it has helped some and it is still helping some.
However if it is only used to help aid in getting over the withdrawls then I think it should ONLY be used for short tern if at all. It's almost like people want to get over the withdrawls totally painless but then they want to stay on it long term to help them achieve sobriety. For those of you I say you are still dependant on pills, either way you jusify it. If used long term you are still going to withdrawl. If it is used for chronic pain that is one thing.But you can withdrawl from sub just seems crazy someone would want to be on it for a long period of time. So I realize I am rambling and everyone here has there own opinion on it. I was just a little upset earlier to read the above post and see everyone was real quick to give her sub advice.


I just can't see taking a pill and pretending to be "Normal" with me it is either use or not use.Not faking my brain out to believe I am normal having to take a pill in the morning to function and a pill for bed to sleep. Maybe it's me but that's my take on it. Just wanted to ask everyone out there~~~~~~~~~~
What's up with the old fashion way. Maybe it's just that sucking it up is the only way I have tried it.Granted I went back to using within a year but there are some on the board that did not use sub and people I know and they survived it. I just don't want every new person that comes to this board with withdrawls or that is thinking about quitting pain pills ONLY hears about sub and how great it is. Glad to get that off my chest. I am on this board hell almost everyday and I am just kind of sick of hearing about it. It is a personal choice and to each his own ,I guess. Maybe I am just being bitc*y today what can I say!! Rae
that was my point ... thanks rae... that is what my thought was .... at the begining.. this person was asking for the first step and all she heard was .... GOT GET SUB..... omg... I bout flipped... what ever happened to this being the last house on the block...?.... and I am sure that this happened when people first found methodone... well and I would almost wonder .. do some of these get a kick back on refering people to sub... I know that is not the case but as many as on here that pretty much say run run and find a doctor and get it quick fix.... well..

anyhoo thanks rae.. your thoughts are my thoughts...

teresa
Your funny! Glad someone out of the bunch agreed with me. I am sure I am in for it later though when all the sub users read what I wrote,LOL Gotta say what's on my mind,you either love me for it or hate me. There's never an in between... Rae
love ya./.....
teresa