well my son lost his job, and will be loseing his apart, soon, and i don,t no were hil go, im still trying to recovor,from back surger, and im not doing to good with my meds, i was letting my hubby hold on to them, and then i asked to count, them, and say that moer then half were gone, but he says he did,ent i don,t belive him, enyways, like i said things are not good in my famile, last nite i wastold by my son that his x, is back to yousing, and the kids, are in danger there, i think she left, her hubby thank god, he was vary mean to the kids, i had this feeling, about it, but did not want to say enything, the kids have been , throu so mush in there 5years, no my son im so pissed at him, becuse he did this to himself but it, effects everone, he is so blind, to his addiction. i think at this point he should go back into recovory, i worry all the time, and then i don,t deal with things in the writ way, i just take moer pills like thats going to change things/ i was praying this year, would be better, not a good start, if yous could say some prayes, that would be great, thanks karen.
Karen, Early on in my recovery I was dealing with some of the issues you are now. I had a 20 year old daughter who was pregnant for the second time and our grandaughter living with us.My daughter is not an addict but her life was a mess. We did everything we could to try and help her get her life straight but she wasn't having it. She wanted to do things her way. My husband knowing at that time I was stressing out over the situation and me knowing the situation was not helping me in my recovery said enough was enough. It was time for tough love with her. We knew we were taking a chance of not seeing her or the grandbaby again or the little one she was pregnant with but we knew what we had to do for all of us. For me and my recovery I had to let go and place them in Gods hands. I will never forget the night she packed up her stuff and took the grandbaby and left but I will never regret the decision we made. Things are better now and we are working on our relationship. Karen, there comes a time when you have got to let go of other peoples problems so you can work on your own. You cannot help anyone until you help yourself first. Shantel
Karen,
I didn't know how to respond until I read Shantel's post. She's right. Letting go doesn't mean you don't love. As mothers it's hard to let go -- they're always our babies -- but sometimes it's better parenting to let them go their own way, as long as they know you're there loving them no matter what happens.
Take care of yourself. That's not selfishness (or so my psychiatrist, Dr. M tells me). Until you can take care of yourself, you really can't take good care of anything else.
Love,
Gina
I didn't know how to respond until I read Shantel's post. She's right. Letting go doesn't mean you don't love. As mothers it's hard to let go -- they're always our babies -- but sometimes it's better parenting to let them go their own way, as long as they know you're there loving them no matter what happens.
Take care of yourself. That's not selfishness (or so my psychiatrist, Dr. M tells me). Until you can take care of yourself, you really can't take good care of anything else.
Love,
Gina
thanks shantil, yes thats what i have to do but thogth, love has always been hard for me to do, but i know im not helping him eather, he puts such guilt trips on me, and trys vary hard to make me feel like a bade mom, my other son how lives in TO, does not do this, also becuse we don,t see him as mush, and we spoiled him so mush, and now we are, paying for it know, , its the kids that realy gets me, thel have no benifits now, its hard for me to take caer off myself with all thats going on, thanks again karen.
Karen, Gina is right and if your son's situation is causing you to take more pills or even entertaining the thought you gotta let go. I love my daughter and grandbabies with all my heart but I couldn't of helped them if I didn't help myself first. As far as letting you husband hold your pills and some were missing. Didn't you say he had a problem with pills to and went to rehab? Not a wise decision. Shantel
Karen, Guilt trips I get them everyday from my 4 children. It took me along time to realize it was not about me it was about what they wanted and what they wanted to do. You are the parent and they are the children. I have made my mistakes in the past but I will not use my children as an excuse to use. Remove yourself from the situation until you are strong enough to handle it. Shantel