Posts: 1
Joined: November 20, 2007
Well, I was a heroin addict for one year, when I realized that it is really bad for me and my health, and then I made my mind and decided to quit drugs. It has been two f***ing hard weeks since I stopped using heroine, and started a healthy life. I don't know how am I holding on, I think of getting some stuff every day, I am in a great deal of pane, my skin is different, my voice is changing, I can't study, I'M IN A REALLY HARD DEPRESSION, my thoughts are f***ing dark and deathly, my only wish is to wake up normal and not to want to do drugs and think that it will be ok then.. it is so hard for me, i am 19 years old and I won't tell my folks about it because it will dissapoint them and they will think that i cannot handle myself very well. And it makes it evan harder to be quiet about it and stand the pain and depression on my own and pretend for my parents that everything is ok. nothing is ok, the truth is that i'm out of my mind, and i don't think i can do this any longer, how can I help myself get over this, how??? I am f***ing dead, I lost my optimism somewhere, and happiness and creativity and I think that I am not worth living like this.. Nadia
Nadia,
You are not alone............please come here and share cause we have all been through it and it is extremely difficult, honey................two weeks and ya did this on your own................you're one tough cookie, honey......that's not easy at all............at all.
PLEASE come on here with us, and everybody here is cool.........the depression is part of it, and everything else you have mentioned...........it's part of the withdrawl and getting clean...........it's not just you.
You can get back tthe real Nadia...........yes you can, but we get like this....it don't just poof go away after ten days of withdrawl.............ya done good so far honey.............now ya have to keep going........picking up ain't the answer.
Pretty sure we all know the lonesome part too...............kand our loved ones don't know what is going on...............that big time stinks......you just hang on now baby and we'll help ya best we can, O.K.?
You are not alone............please come here and share cause we have all been through it and it is extremely difficult, honey................two weeks and ya did this on your own................you're one tough cookie, honey......that's not easy at all............at all.
PLEASE come on here with us, and everybody here is cool.........the depression is part of it, and everything else you have mentioned...........it's part of the withdrawl and getting clean...........it's not just you.
You can get back tthe real Nadia...........yes you can, but we get like this....it don't just poof go away after ten days of withdrawl.............ya done good so far honey.............now ya have to keep going........picking up ain't the answer.
Pretty sure we all know the lonesome part too...............kand our loved ones don't know what is going on...............that big time stinks......you just hang on now baby and we'll help ya best we can, O.K.?
Oh yeah, Nadia often we think nobody knows...........I know I did........they may not know exactly what is wrong, but I'm thinking your parents know something is wrong.............probably not heroin, but we all swrore nobody knew.......and years later when we say that everybody says "Oh we knew"........it's a tough thing to hide when you're kicking that's for sure.
Hope you're feeling a little better right now.
Hope you're feeling a little better right now.
Nadia, Two weeks is great. I am sitting here so proud that youhave come this far. Please don't look back. This is just the down side right now. Can you get out to an NA or AA meeting? Get some face to face support. Also keep posting and reading on recovery. Your family probably knows something is going on. They may be disappointed at first but also supportive knowing that you are trying to get off this junk and get better. There is hope Nadia. Please don't turn back. If the obsession and compulsion gets overwhelming, call an NA or AA hotline and just tell them you want to use and they can try and help get you through. Take it 15 minutes at a time if you have to. Don't pick the s*** back up, no matter what. It does get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please believe it. We believe in you Nadia. Believe in yourself. Thinking of you and hoping you make it through. Keep posting and hang in there.
Dawn
Dawn
Dear Nadia,
I can speak from the parent's side of things. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!
For myself....I knew something was wrong with my son when he was on heroin and wouldn't admit it. He couldn't hold a job for long. He was evasive...preoccupied. He didn't care about anyone but him and his girlfriend (and the drug....but I didn't know it at the time). Of course I was shocked when I found out that he was addicted to heroin BUT if I was your parents I would want to know so I could give you support and encouragement during this difficult time that you are working to get your life back. I realize I couldn't do it for him and I couldn't make him better, but I could be understanding.
One day at a time! I will keep you in my prayers.
God bless and keep you strong!
Susan
I can speak from the parent's side of things. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!
For myself....I knew something was wrong with my son when he was on heroin and wouldn't admit it. He couldn't hold a job for long. He was evasive...preoccupied. He didn't care about anyone but him and his girlfriend (and the drug....but I didn't know it at the time). Of course I was shocked when I found out that he was addicted to heroin BUT if I was your parents I would want to know so I could give you support and encouragement during this difficult time that you are working to get your life back. I realize I couldn't do it for him and I couldn't make him better, but I could be understanding.
One day at a time! I will keep you in my prayers.
God bless and keep you strong!
Susan
nadia you cant deal with this on your own you need support from your loved ones your doing so well but your alone you need to express your feelings to family or friends talking will stop you from keeping things bottled up and will help you get through your recovery your only young you got your whole life ahead of you , maybe talk to your doctor or a counclar good luck on the road to recovery . You wont feel like this forever keep feeling strong
emma xx
emma xx
Nadia baby-girl, I know it seems so very hopeless-but as Bryn said--you are doing great, better than I ever did cold-turkey'in it. thats amazing-but if this is how your feeling you won't last long--I wouldn't expect anyone to keep going with no support feeling like you are-no matter how strong and willfull you may be--theres too much help and knowledge of addiction for anyone to suffer this way--the worst is over now its time to pick up the peices, and you CANNOT do that alone--if you cannot tell your parents exactly whats up--maybe you can tell them you just are needing help--or you can find other sources-NA and AA, treatment centers (outpatient&inpateint) stay away from old playgrounds and playplaces--keep coming here i have been coming here for 2 years steadily and couldn't imagine not having this outlet, you cannot keep all this inside --you will use!!!!!! look for things that keep your mond of--dont stay still--go do things no matter how bad you feel laying down will make it worse--oh man--i wish you were right here with me- i would take care of you!!
Hunny please do not keep this to yourself. I only know what the dark side of drugs does and the dangers of the depression. My partner just last week hung himself through the depression because he felt so alone. I kept everything about my partners addiction to myself and my family and friends didnt have a clue. I regret not telling them. You are so young and cannot deal with this alone. Speak to your gp, get in touch with a drugs worker if you have not already and please tell your parents. Let them see this website and let them know what pain you have gone through alone the last 2 weeks to kick this habbit on your own. You should be so proud of yourself.
God bless you hunny.
God bless you hunny.
Nadia, please come tell us how ya are, honey.
Hey Nadia, welcome... like others said please don't keep this to yourself...tell someone. When i finally decided i had had enough i had the full support of most of my family... that was a great help. Congrats on your clean time....it Does get better. Peace n P vibes, Kev
