I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years he struggles with heroine addiction.I have been with him threw every decision he has made in order to better him self. weather its moving to a different state to get away and detox. the multitude of rehabs he has gone to. Attending meetings with him. I am at the point where I feel like i should walk away from him. I am scared for a multitude of reasons. 1. I Love him I have never felt unloved by him just his addiction. 2. There is no doubt in my mind Im not suppose to spend my Life with him. 3. He is capable of getting clean. 4 I am not sure if i walk away it will make him more depressed and use or make him get his s*** together. 5. Will this help or hurt? 6. I want to be with him I am scared I am enabling him. I know giving money is enabling so hell ask me to buy a pack of cigs and i will because it's not a big deal Im out any way. Then I question if thats an act of enabling. because if he wasnt buying drugs he would afford his own. but if he was clean i would still buy cigs for him Another scenario I wonder am actually pretty sure Im enabling is when he buys subs He will ask me for a ride to get them. also when he is high Should i leave or be there for him? I never know if staying with him while he is emotional and high is a helping or hurting?
Only you can answer those questions .. but Nar-Anon and Al-Anon can help you do that.
Look them up in the telephone book or on-line and go to some of their meetings.
I think you will be inspired by what you find there.
All the best.
Bob R
Look them up in the telephone book or on-line and go to some of their meetings.
I think you will be inspired by what you find there.
All the best.
Bob R
In my opinion I think you already know the answers to your own questions you're just afraid because it's very painful and sometimes it's hard to make the decision. you have to think about your own well being. I recently detached from my beautiful intelligent 26 year old mother of my daughter. . It is very difficult and it hurts so much but it is the best thing for all of us. I love her but hate the addict. I have to be a better person for myself and my daughter. I am much older than her I deserve better I've worked my entire life for what I have. I just want to be a good person and be happy. I don't know where she is or what she's doing I want to go find her and hold her so tight to make myself feel better but it won't change anything so I won't do it. a lot of tears for something I can't fix. Don't really know what's going to happen. Nar anon has helped me. We are not alone. Her addiction stole my soul I need to get it back somehow. It hurts to not wake up with her in my arms every morning but it feels good not to be lied to every day. I get to see my daughter in about an hour,she lost custody to her mom right when baby was born so now I have to fight to see her and not be a family. Suffer the pain now for a while or stay together and have the pain the rest of my life. good luck with your decision, I know it's hard. You're not being selfish to worry about yourself ,things are different when you have a relationship with an addict.
