When You Admit That U R Powerless

When you admit that you are powerless over drugs and turn your life to a higher power........what happens.

How has that helped you?

I know that it is not intended to have u give up responsiblity, but there have been times I have thought of doing that in the past, only fearing that if I said that to myself I could see myself ending up saying to myself "OK, I'm p0werless over drugs, so I'll just use them and leave it up to my higher power to take care of stopping me."

I've never thought that way, and don't plan to, but do fear a little, if I were to really honestly do that, that might be my thinking.

That's kind of along the lines of when a drug counselor said to me that it's not my fault I have a disease. I feel like it is my fault and calling it a disease is me making excuses.

PLEASE SHARE YOU'RE EXPERIENCES WHEN you honestly accepted the above concepts and how it really helped you.

thanx
Old Dog ~ hope you make that NA meeting tomorrow that you posted about. It is my hope that you will find someone who you can identify with and ask them to sponsor you.

You actually have written about Step 1 and Step 3 in you message above. Let's see if this helps.

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IN THE TWELVE STEPS

The Steps are a powerful statement of personal responsibility. They call for the us to admit powerlessness over alcohol. At the same time, the Steps ask us to act to promote recovery from alcoholism. In doing so, the Steps strike a balance between loss of control and the our choice to reorient our life--a balance that has guided recovery for millions of people.

Step One asks us to accept powerlessness over alcohol and the consequences of alcohol use. The core of this Step is loss of control--the inability to control the amount and frequency of alcohol use. Choosing a new way of life requires us to admit loss of control. Then, this admission makes it possible for us to abstain from alcohol and avoid the consequences of its use.

Step Two makes clear what is needed for the us to refrain from taking the first drink: a Power greater then ourselves.

Step Three asks us to act on this realization--to turn our lives and wills over to the care of the God of our understanding. The important point is that the loss of control extends beyond the our compulsive use of alcohol and to our inability to consistently abstain from alcohol. The sanity of these Steps is that they bring the fundamental choice--to drink or not to drink--to the foreground once the consequences of alcoholism are accepted.

Here, again, is the issue of control. In order to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. This is done in a spiritual way, not in a dogmatically religious or subservient way. The Higher Power is a source of inner strength, not external controls imposed by an outside authority. Surrendering control reflects our desire for sober living by accepting dependence on proven principles--the Twelve Step program.

In short - Steps 1, 2, and 3 to me mean - I can't - He can - I think I'll let him. It works if I work it.

Hugs to you ~

Sammy

edited to say in Pills Anonymous we rely heavily on the Big Book of AA. We suggest that where you see the words alcohol or alcoholism you think pills or addiction.
Thanks Sammy,

Ur words are right to the point and I'm going to read them over a few times. U R a person who has made me a believer that it is possible to really get better then we ever were. Partially because of something you said over a year ago (I think it was a topic dealing with inner happiness - real happiness, or something similar) I have come to objectively believe that a reality of genuine purpose and day to day satisfaction is a true choice and possiblity to be worked at.

THere was a long period of time, from about 21 to age 32 or 33 that I was genuinely 'clean.' Drugs were completely not a part of my life or universe. Even though at the time I was a 'born-again Christian' , my faith, as much as I believed and as hard as I tried, was sometimes I think, a desparate grasp at trying to keep my sanity. Some of the problems were theological, and seemingly impossible to resolve. A lot was a result of fearing I might believe the wrong thing, and some was trying to justify a theology that many believed, and I feared was true. But no matter how I tried to twist , turn and justify certain things that many believed -------I finally, with a lot of inner trepadation, and after consulting with a man who I thought was Good and Holy (he later turned out to be anything but that, and that is another story)- I understood that I HAD TO LEARN TO RELY ON MY BELIEFS, AND LEARN MYSELF AND TRUST GOD AND MYSELF IN WHAT I NEW TO BE TRUE.

I was able to set myself free from the almost prison like trap I had set for myself by believing , or trying to believe, that somehow some terribly wrong things could be right.

I learned to believe what I believed, and had that peace of mind- but still, I was ALMOST ALWAYS unhappy inside. MY LIFE, OR MY HAPPINESS WAS LIVED VICARIOUSLY through my childern. I accepted that this is the way life is, and if my children are safe and happy and healthy, it didn't matter how I felt.

And if my wife was happy, or at least not miserable and bitching, and somewhat happy, that was it.

THEN WE GOT DIVORCED, and as much as I said I'm not going to get back into drugs and alcohal again, it wasn't more then a couple months till I started. I did end up being way worse then I ever was.

FROM WHAT I NOW UNDERSTAND, I WAS ESSENTIALLY LIVING A DRY DRUNK. The problem was, I wanted to get better, I just had never learned how to.

That is what does encourage me about many of you - you have not just quit drugs and become a version of what u were before u used. You , mostly thru NA teachings I think, are learning to really live and become on the road to being fulfilled human beings. I have believed for a long , long time, that that is one of the major things God wants for us: I just never learned how to do it.

That is my hope of what being clean again will lead to. Becoming what I once was, though I tried to be a good person, etc.--JUST IS NOT GOOD ENUF.


When I admitted that I was powerless, I stopped struggling. I stopped trying to control my disease, something of which, I had no control over. It wasn't until then that I was able to put a few 24 hours under my belt.

Admitting that we are powerless doesn't mean that we are weak, quite the contrary. It gives us strength. At least it did for me. I had to let go absolutely...something I practice at daily. When I let go, I was able to see alot clearer and absorb what was suggested. Only then did things start to make sense.
Thx CGirl, I'm not worried about feeling week - I;m not gonna do this, but there are times when I couldve seen me using as a rationalization to use. U know, I have no control anyhow.

I know thats not the intention, nor mine, but in the past I cant say that idea would not have crossed my mind.

By the way, I don't have any big girl panties
Started to listen. My way did not work. Started to trust others by taking suggestions and implementing them.

Jeff
Admitting that we are powerless doesn't mean that we are weak, quite the contrary. It gives us strength. At least it did for me.

That's my experience too. When I was done, down and tried every possible way to stay sober on my will & kept relapsing after months of dry time, when I finally surrendered that I didn't know sh*t about staying clean and reached out and asked somebody for help and she shared with me her story and gave me direction and suggestions, I started to stay clean & sober on a daily basis....She shared with me the simplicity of it all, trust God, clean house, help others which I continue to do to this day. Then the power of the group carried me until I could find a HP of my understanding and today I see that power when I walk into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Alone I am powerless, with God and my fellows, I have the right kind of power today.....

Sammy wrote it out beautifully....

Hope you get to that meeting tonight, Browndog....
xoxo
Stacey
It's a metaphor Dogbreath...I don't have any either anymore. xxoo
Sorry MSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Cowgirly.

it is some kind of thing, but definitely not a metaphor.

A metaphore is comparing two things with the use "like or as"

Such as: "Cowgirls' eyes are voluptously beautiful, like the Alabama sky on a perfect day"

a Simili is without using like or as

"That lady is an oversized drunken lizard"

Im pretty sure Im correct on this , though I misspeled simily and there is a slight possiblility I have them backwards.


I forgot what kind of thing an (alligorical?) statement like yours is called.

I think it is along the same lines as "Take no prisoneers"

or "It's time to get out your guns and stand up to him"

Now it will bug me until I figure out what this kind of symbolism is called, but it is definitely not a metaphor, Just like you are not a female cow nor am I a browndog.

---->When you admit that you are powerless over drugs and turn your life to a higher power........what happens.

How has that helped you?


Looks like we got 2 questions here.

1 When Admitting your powerless over drugs.

2. Turning your life over to a Higher Power.


This is just my experience with changing my lifestyle. I for years had the same unhealthy thought process. I would ask these question all the time, I was buying time. Time to get people off my back, make a go at living clean, Stop the pain in my life and in the lives of those I loved.

However,it was the addicted portion of my brain, the part that was controlling me, that was asking those questions. And it was asking them so I could find some morsel to disagree with or use to justify unhealthy behavior.

See the word I don't see in your question is BELIEVE.

In my case my addiction is rooted in AMBIVALENCE, or in the inability to make a clear cut choice. It survives on only one thing DOUBT.

These are the cold hard facts in my life, I'm not sure about yours brother.

1. When I use drugs for the purpose of feeding my addicted mind. (I've never used a drug for any other purpose, there is however very valid reasons to take drugs.) My life is destroyed, I am degraded beyond description, I die.

I have discovered however, I am not POWERLESS over them. I must first however stop JUSTIFYING their use.

In the final days of my active abuse, Powerlessness was my biggest justification for continued use.

Once I was shown that. I was able to move past it.

I stopped listening to my addictive voice. For me that is ANY thought, feeling or emotion that tells me it's OK to take a pill.

It IS never OK for me to feed my addictive mind. Nor will it ever be.

Now once I stopped using the addicted portion of my brain began to lose control. I began to get higher brain function to return.

My addictive brain is incapable of formulating a belief. It's animalistic It lives for pleasure. It can not feel or see negative consequences, It can not accept responsibility, It can not BELIEVE in anything but itself. It can not understand, or tell time. It uses.

Now the good news.

Once I stopped, I just began to quietly search for a force, a power, something that I could rely on.

And I FOUND IT.

It started very simply. Someone pointed out to me. "In the beginning was THE WORD."

So I thought about that, What was around before drugs, See I needed to go back to that time in my life before I first fed my addict mind. seemed like the place to start again, or for those in the program the place to begin the restoration. What could I BELIEVE in besides drugs.

For me it was Words, I Love Words. THEY are where I found my Power to go on. To Sustain, To get the force needed to move forward against all odds.

They led me to a WONDERFUL, ALL LOVING, NEVER FAILING, ALL FORGIVING, ALL POWERFUL GOD.

A God that is real, not imaginary, not a fairy tale. God is as real to me as air.

Once that power was REVEALED, I CHANGED. I am no longer the person I was. I am a NEW person. I must continue now on learning how to live as a New Person.

So maybe a more appropriate question to ask YOURSELF is.

WHAT DO I BELIEVE TO BE TRUE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! WHY AM I ASKING THE QUESTIONS IN THIS POST?

Sorry for the long posts. But this topic is the core, the life and death issue. The one that every other issue or outcome depends on.


Best wishes.
Really? Not a metaphor? Hmmm. Learn something every day. Well, anyway, I don't have any anymore, but Depends are right around the corner.

And the metaphor you came up with? You are such a talker.... xxoo
DeadHead 82,

Great post, phenominal. YOU HAVE TOUCHED ON , WHAT I THINK IS THE ROOT OF WHAT I MADE THIS POST FOR.

I am asking for real strong personal reasons, some of which I are not clear to me. If you knew me when I was a little kid, or in school or as an adult, you may have thought I was stupid or very odd at times, and eventually would see something different.

My mind seems to work sometimes way differntly then other peoples. The more important or complex the concept, the more far out I might seem. I don't know if its ADD, Or just how I learn, but on involved issues , my mind seems to work almost in circles. I need to understand the whole basic thing before the 1,2, &3 that is easy to follow for most, can be understood by me. Without any conscious effort, I almost immediately confuse myself by seeing all the seeming inconsistincies, or lack of sense these steps make. But somehow I get through that, completely confused inside, wonder if Im an idiot as everyone else at least acts like they understand everything, but how could they when it makes no sense, and then somehow the total picture is presented and I almost have complete understanding of the whole concept or process. Many , many times what ultimately occurs is I come to realize I'm one of the few, and sometimes the only one who completely understands whats going on.

ANYWAY, THAT LITTLE TANGENT ASIDE, It has been difficult for me to understand some things and accept some NA things.

You have helped a lot, hitting the nail right on the head, with the addict mind, the possible avoidance these inner questions represnt, etc etc.

This is so helpful a post to me and I thank you for your wisdom.

Harry
Yeah Browndog I can identify with your thought process.

I used to here this saying in meetings. "My best thinking got me here". I used to agonize over that one.

Well in hindsight, that saying is true, however I was focusing on the wrong word. It would always have me look at THINKING, and hell I'm the smartest guy in the room, and it was the bad decisions, that led to my suffering, not the good ones

I have learned that the key word in that little diddy is MY.

If i was to continue to use MY same thought process upon stopping dope, well history shows me I do not stay stooped.

The statement is not condemning thinking but rather closed mindedness.

Intelligence in never bad, A flawed thought process on the other hand can be troublesome.


Back before I was in NA (which I no longer attend) I was an AA guy. A young cat around 22 when I hit the AA rooms, I wasn't any where near the end, but I did here one thing that eventually helped change my course.

"Lack of Power, that was our dilemma".

That statement "Wow"

Now even more interesting to me, is the fact that it is located in the chapter "We agnostics"

I would always respond "Yeah I believe in God" when asked.

The truth though, the end of the day bittersweet truth hit me.

"No you don't, you believe in nothing other than yourself."

Now once i admitted that to myself. I followed it up with.

I want to find God, I want to get to know him. He is either real or fake, I made a commitment, I will pursue God everyday. I realize now what faith is for me, it is starting a simple journey everyday with something like "So God are you Real, Please if you are allow me to recognize that fact..

I now get up early and start looking for God, I read, I chat, I pray, I sing, I talk, I laugh, I yell, I give up, I get up, I fall short, I doubt, I deny, I lie, I work, I feel horrible, I feel great, I get scared, I seek comfort, I provide encouragement.

Hell, a whole lot goes down on a days journey to find God.

But this is the miracle, I DON'T GET HIGH, And I get refreshed all the time.

Today again I will look for God, and Today it would not shock me to find him.

Enjoy the journey.