Guys, I'm sorry for going on but I feel so weepy and fed up today. I've not been able to get to a meeting all week but going to one tomorrow which I feel I need to for sanity. I know I'm doing well 10 wks or something like that now, the time is going by and I've still not taken a drink. Today I've had thoughts of a drink and I dont know why. I have a couple of partners friends coming over tonight (partners old college buddy) and his girlfriend whom I havent met b4. It doesnt usually bother me I will get along with everyone but I feel uncomfortable. I have asked my partner to go get them a bottle of white as I know they drink wine and why should they be penalised cos I dont drink/cant drink I think its the "cant drink" thats sticking in my throat. Does this make sense?I'm still waiting on my big book to arrive from over in the states so I can refer, relax and read and there's a bl**dy postal strike on over here in the UK!!
Hey Flojo, I know the feeling. The dynamics between the drinkers and non-drinkers can be uncomfortable sometimes. Sometimes I feel inferior to people who can drink and then tend to think that the success that I have had getting sober was just silly exercise; being faced with people who drink "normally" makes me feel like I should be like them, not a pathetic teetotaler who can't handle booze.
Be proud of your success, 10 weeks is great!!! You have gotten your drinking stopped and obviously you are learning how to keep it stopped if you have made 10 weeks arlready. As for people who drink "normally" or otherwise, thats their business, you have every right to be a non drinker.
I'm sorry to hear that you are having a "down" day, but thanks for posting, I feel the same way at times and writing this has made me understand my own feelins, I hope it helps you too....
one day at a time, Cookster
Be proud of your success, 10 weeks is great!!! You have gotten your drinking stopped and obviously you are learning how to keep it stopped if you have made 10 weeks arlready. As for people who drink "normally" or otherwise, thats their business, you have every right to be a non drinker.
I'm sorry to hear that you are having a "down" day, but thanks for posting, I feel the same way at times and writing this has made me understand my own feelins, I hope it helps you too....
one day at a time, Cookster
I used to feel sorry for myself when folks around me were drinking and have made it a point of steering clear of the situations when I can. I just don't have time for it anymore and, like the ex-smoker that I am, I wouldn't hang around the smoking area to breathe in all that stuff and burn my time.
These are the days that we have to rely on one another 'cause it's easy to get into the pity-pot and glamourize our thoughts. I have to play the whole thing through, though, to include the hangover and the viscious cycle of drinking before drinking to get ready to go drinking; the money; the disappointment in myself, etc. I also have to get to a meeting or simply call a fellow AA member--not to whine and wimper, but to laugh and feel good.
It's a WE program, and sometimes we need to be with our kind...
These are the days that we have to rely on one another 'cause it's easy to get into the pity-pot and glamourize our thoughts. I have to play the whole thing through, though, to include the hangover and the viscious cycle of drinking before drinking to get ready to go drinking; the money; the disappointment in myself, etc. I also have to get to a meeting or simply call a fellow AA member--not to whine and wimper, but to laugh and feel good.
It's a WE program, and sometimes we need to be with our kind...
Gidday Everyone
What is pathetic? ......not drinking or laying in my own urine and vomit at some party, pub or my own house. Be proud of the fact that as people we are doing something to better our lives and there are plenty of people who dont drink, the thing is addiction wants us to see ourselves as lesser people because we dont drink and then the seed for a redrink is planted and if we allow it to grow by giving it light then things get shaky. We shouldnt be so hard on ourselves by putting our new circumstances in a negative light so build the gratitude and dont put ourselves down with a label that is lesser just because we choose not to drink because our lives and sanity depend on that miracle of a decision.
Of course there are people who can drink and most of them dont give a toss weither i do or not and the ones that are persistant about me not drinking have there own agendas.
Flojo good on you there will be tough times but get some contact numbers and build some strategys for these times and do what you are doing posting etc
light and love zac
What is pathetic? ......not drinking or laying in my own urine and vomit at some party, pub or my own house. Be proud of the fact that as people we are doing something to better our lives and there are plenty of people who dont drink, the thing is addiction wants us to see ourselves as lesser people because we dont drink and then the seed for a redrink is planted and if we allow it to grow by giving it light then things get shaky. We shouldnt be so hard on ourselves by putting our new circumstances in a negative light so build the gratitude and dont put ourselves down with a label that is lesser just because we choose not to drink because our lives and sanity depend on that miracle of a decision.
Of course there are people who can drink and most of them dont give a toss weither i do or not and the ones that are persistant about me not drinking have there own agendas.
Flojo good on you there will be tough times but get some contact numbers and build some strategys for these times and do what you are doing posting etc
light and love zac
Hi Flojo
I know it can be tough - damn tough. But remember it is people like you who give newbies like me hope and courage. Try not to envy those "normal drinkers". Who is to say they don't envy you and the fact that you can enjoy yourself and be sociable without poisonous piss in your glass!! Many people cannot imagine enjoying themselves without alcolhol and that is where the greatest tragedy is.
In my old days of being 'sociable' I would inevitably fall around the place drunk and insult anyone who dared to look crooked at me. At least now I can hold my head up high and if poeple have a problem with me not drinking well then "Tough s***!!"
You hang in there - This too shall pass.
Lotsa luv, Ruth.
I know it can be tough - damn tough. But remember it is people like you who give newbies like me hope and courage. Try not to envy those "normal drinkers". Who is to say they don't envy you and the fact that you can enjoy yourself and be sociable without poisonous piss in your glass!! Many people cannot imagine enjoying themselves without alcolhol and that is where the greatest tragedy is.
In my old days of being 'sociable' I would inevitably fall around the place drunk and insult anyone who dared to look crooked at me. At least now I can hold my head up high and if poeple have a problem with me not drinking well then "Tough s***!!"
You hang in there - This too shall pass.
Lotsa luv, Ruth.
Hi Flojo...
It's Monday morning and I'm so hoping you got to that meeting yesterday....
I know for me, when I am spiritually fit and keeping in God's shadow, life is much simplier but I have to keep up my program and that means getting to at least 4 meetings a week, talking to my sponsors, reading the literature and reaching out to other alcoholics otherwise my disease is working on me telling me I don't have a disease and I can have just one....My thought process gets out of sorts when I don't get to hear God's message and I usually get to hear what I need to hear sitting in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous...
I get where Zac is coming from too...I have to play the tape all the way to the end and if I picked up a drink, I would be to the incomprensible demoralization stage in just a few drinks because I can't have just one, it'd be the whole bottle and then I enter into the blackout stage where I harm others, either with my actions or my words....
I hope you made it through the weekend and the sun is shining today for you...
Big smooches,
Stacey
It's Monday morning and I'm so hoping you got to that meeting yesterday....
I know for me, when I am spiritually fit and keeping in God's shadow, life is much simplier but I have to keep up my program and that means getting to at least 4 meetings a week, talking to my sponsors, reading the literature and reaching out to other alcoholics otherwise my disease is working on me telling me I don't have a disease and I can have just one....My thought process gets out of sorts when I don't get to hear God's message and I usually get to hear what I need to hear sitting in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous...
I get where Zac is coming from too...I have to play the tape all the way to the end and if I picked up a drink, I would be to the incomprensible demoralization stage in just a few drinks because I can't have just one, it'd be the whole bottle and then I enter into the blackout stage where I harm others, either with my actions or my words....
I hope you made it through the weekend and the sun is shining today for you...
Big smooches,
Stacey
Hi there everyone, thanks for your posts they are REALLY helping, I got to my meeting yesterday, sat there and listened and drank everything in I HAD to store it and everything on this forum I'm so glad I found you all. I was told yesterday by one of the ladies that I'm ready, I'm in that place I just know I can do it. I never understood what my HP was and I still dont really, I just know that I believe its the something within me that is spiritual and I let it just wash over me now and the moment goes. I do need more numbers, I guess I should pick up the phone more, I'm gonna ring my sponsor tomorrow I havent heard much from her in the last couple of wks which is making me edgy as it works both wasys doesnt it? she could be having a really s**t time couldnt she? I'm off to a meeting tomorrow again. thank heavens for AA. I got thru Saturday night even poured the wine, didnt feel any compulsion just sickness inside. How are U feeling now Ruth? I always read your posts. I cant wait to be comfortable in my alcoholic skin, to start doing the steps like u have all done too with success but hard work I know. thanks for your wisdom, I know theres plenty of s****y days ahead...x
Gidday Flojo
Your sponser probably has her own sponsor and rings her when needed and i think that she is there for you to ring when you need to, or maybe you should ring her and sort out a system that keeps you both in touch and i know i tell anyone in AA that i know, my phone is connected 24hrs and so is the kettle.
light and love zac
Your sponser probably has her own sponsor and rings her when needed and i think that she is there for you to ring when you need to, or maybe you should ring her and sort out a system that keeps you both in touch and i know i tell anyone in AA that i know, my phone is connected 24hrs and so is the kettle.
light and love zac
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness...
I used to think the Promises were just another brainwashing mechanism developed by the "Cult of Drunkards" to beat their god into me. Now that the fog of fear of being sober has passed, I can honestly attest to this serenity and peace. It comes and goes, but it'll happen if I let it. I no longer try to be the center of attention (okay, maybe here on this forum but it's only because nobody else will SHARE, dammit) as my fears of acceptance and you liking me are resting. They'll roar back if I let them, though, so The Promises have become my mantra.
I no longer NEED to be needed or be amusing for others because I'm enjoying exploring a new me. Not an observer of life, but an appreciative recovering alcoholic who's pretty much seen death already. This is a better alternative....
I used to think the Promises were just another brainwashing mechanism developed by the "Cult of Drunkards" to beat their god into me. Now that the fog of fear of being sober has passed, I can honestly attest to this serenity and peace. It comes and goes, but it'll happen if I let it. I no longer try to be the center of attention (okay, maybe here on this forum but it's only because nobody else will SHARE, dammit) as my fears of acceptance and you liking me are resting. They'll roar back if I let them, though, so The Promises have become my mantra.
I no longer NEED to be needed or be amusing for others because I'm enjoying exploring a new me. Not an observer of life, but an appreciative recovering alcoholic who's pretty much seen death already. This is a better alternative....
