I started them about 2 yrs ago.
Im suprised I didnt actually start them 10 yrs ago. Back them I had Crohns Disease, nose surgery and then 5 yrs ago started have Rectal Prolapse surgeries (4) in total. Even when I had the Rectal Prolapse surgery I couldnt sit for 3 weeks at a time and I didnt even take anything then???
It wasnt until about 2 yrs ago when training was very, very important to me and I has a super stressful job. I badly injured my left rotator cuff (shoulder). I actually couldnt lift it up to scratch my balls for like 2 months. It was as if my hand was dead???
To make a long story short I was prescribed Percocet and then OxyContin. Also be complete luck I met a guy at the gym who took them alot and then he offered me some, etc.
The worst feeling through everything was when I was addicted at I ran out or about to run out. I would get so scared and nervous that I needed some, etc. I hope to never have that feeling of hopelessness again...
Now I really screwed myself because now Im in more pain then ever with my fractured back, rotator cuff, compressed vertibrates in my neck, severe osterarthritis, and my double surgery for carpel tunnel syndrome that DIDNT work. Not to mention dealing with IBS everyday, and Im just 28 yrs old... Now I can't take anything for pain...
Not gonna lie there are alot of times where I just lay down and think what it would be like to put a gun under my chin and pull the trigger, or park my car in the garage and shut the door and sit in the car with it running. Sometimes I even drive close to the center line when driving my car and kinda inch closer and closer to the centre line thinking what would happen If I swerved fast to the left onto an oncoming semi truck... Game over for me.. But then no more pain either...
Kiwi
Kiwi,I can tell you what will happen if you swerve the way you were talking about,a great big bang and you will do a lot of damage to other peoples lives too,besides your own.
Kiwi,Im not trying to flame you or anyone else,but living with pain in this day and age shouldnt be happening,cant you find a way to take pain relief so that you dont become an addict again.
I know someone who has a problem with their pain pills but he lives in awful pain if he doesnt take them,he gets his from the chemist each day,that way he doesnt have any pills on him to abuse,just a thought.
Kiwi,Im not trying to flame you or anyone else,but living with pain in this day and age shouldnt be happening,cant you find a way to take pain relief so that you dont become an addict again.
I know someone who has a problem with their pain pills but he lives in awful pain if he doesnt take them,he gets his from the chemist each day,that way he doesnt have any pills on him to abuse,just a thought.
I was prescribed them after my second son. I thought nothing of it I honestly needed them, until my nurse friend said they were the most abused drug on the market and I should be careful. I got past the pain and remembered her saying that and thought well lets just see what they do when you don't need them. Thats all she wrote. I have worked so hard to get to where I am today only to distroy it with this constant physical emotional financial hole Im in. I pray everyday to feel the way that use to be " normal" but now I have to take these damn pills just to do that.
i started working 10-12 hours in heels working in a salon with my hands inconstant motion above my head cause severe neck and shoulder pain, not to mention back pain and was prescribed vicodine and soma and was off and running, then had a a blocked bowl and had surgery for that twice two years in a row second was due to scar tissue and that was all she wrote. i met a neighbor who taught me how to dr shop and exactly what to say to get exactly what i wanted and exactly what dr to go to who would prescribe (she worked in a dr office and new them all. she taught me how to work the pharmacies some friend huh? to this day i cant even look her in the eye, she is actually my neighbor. i dont blame her. but i was truly very naive and thought well it is legal and its all dr prescribed. you know all those justifications we tell outselves. i honestly had know idea what i was getting myself into. i never did street drugs.i dont even realy believed i knew what addiction really meant. untill i ran out and even then i was thinking what is wrong with me, something really bad is wrong with me, i didnt know what w/d's were i was so naive.
terrianne
terrianne
Wow...it's amazing the many different reasons we all started. Sadley, we have ended with the same result. An addiction to a very abusive drug.
I work for a lab that does a lot of cocaine, and methamphetamine studies (on rats, please don't flame me about animal rights), and you would have thought that I would have known better. I see what this stuff can do over time to just a rat, now I know why people are so self destructive, including myself.
I truly hope that all of us find peace with our addiction, learn from it, and move on with our lives without looking back (ok, I am not singing Koom by ya, but you know what I mean). I want this nightmare to end, and never come back to find me.
PS: Kiwi, you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. One day, you will look back at this, and be glad you choose life! Oh, by the way, put a bug sheild on your car that says "This is Kiwi", so if I ever see ya coming, I can move WAY over. LOL.
Michelle
I work for a lab that does a lot of cocaine, and methamphetamine studies (on rats, please don't flame me about animal rights), and you would have thought that I would have known better. I see what this stuff can do over time to just a rat, now I know why people are so self destructive, including myself.
I truly hope that all of us find peace with our addiction, learn from it, and move on with our lives without looking back (ok, I am not singing Koom by ya, but you know what I mean). I want this nightmare to end, and never come back to find me.
PS: Kiwi, you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. One day, you will look back at this, and be glad you choose life! Oh, by the way, put a bug sheild on your car that says "This is Kiwi", so if I ever see ya coming, I can move WAY over. LOL.
Michelle
