Why Does He Do That?

Families / Partners of Addicts
1
my husband and i have been together since highschool 17 years and married for 12 yrs. about 6 years ago he started using meth and was addicted ever since then. its been a crazy roller coaster with all the up and a lot of downs. its like a cyle every week with him from the time he smokes and the time he crashes!!! all he ever does is watch out for people and accuses me of cheating. he's always paranoid and thinks people are watching him following him. then he comes up with the craziest things of how im cheating on him with so many different men. i can never go somewhere without him thinking im cheating. its always some new man depending where or how he's sees these men. he accused me with numerous neighbors for all the places we moved into, my male coworkers, his own friends, even his own brother!!!! he calls me all the time on my cell phone and especially at work yelling and accusing me of cheating on him there. he even says he "knows for a fact" that i'm a police imformant, or police or cia. he watches others and bases everything on coincidences and time. for example: why does the neighbor leave at the same time you go to work? why does my friends call me right after you do? why does the maintence workers at our apartment complex work when your off? why do i always see this car parked at your work? why why why??? he hangs out with a new crowd. and now he thinks i have something to do with these new people. and its a constant struggle to always prove to him what im doing or what i didnt do. he goes crazy when he thinks he finds a clue of me cheating on him. then i get yelled at for and hour or longer about it. there are nights where he's just on the internet searching online on what he can find out about the man he thinks im cheating on him with. then he'll go in and out of the room to ask me more questions or show what he finds and this goes on all night till morning. when hes finished and is tired and sweating from all the yelling he'll go to what i call it his hibernation mode. when he crashes and sleeps all day and wakes up to eat and use the bathroom. during this time he is grouchy, aggrevated, obnoxious, rude, annoying like a 6yr old kid. im sick of this cycle that is non stop. he blames everything on me. and bcuz i have my guard up with him and not that lovy dovy to him he thinks im doing it to another man. he doesn't get how i feel bcuz of what he's putting me through and saying to me, im feel distant from him and not wanting to be touchy feeling. im at the point where i just want to divorce him but i feel bad bcuz he has nothing. no job, no shelter, no car, no $, no one. i dont get how im the only one supporting him and he treats me this way? and how he doesnt see how im trying to help him. he thinks im just there to be there and not have a name on me that im a cheater. the things he says are so nasty and how he comes up with it in his mind is crazy. hes at the point where he'll throw objects at me or break stuff. and blames me for him acting that way and thats how he feels inside. im so lost i dont know what to do? ive been living like this for 6 years and is numb to it.
advise please how to deal with this paranoia???
2
Nar-Anon is a 12 Step program for family & friends of addicts http://www.nar-anon.org/
You will find many folks there who are dealing with the same issues that you are.

NA (Narcotics Anonymous) will help your husband.

Nar-Anon will help you.

All the best.

Bob R
3
No1totalk2,Well now you do....Sounds like he is trying to take the heat off himself and pin it on you by imagining you having affairs..he wants to play the blame game with you...accusing you of affairs....closing you in by confronting people and such...Why are you there...He is not only a junkie he is out and out emotionally and mentally abusing you...don't you care or love yourself. ..pack a bag move in with family or a friend...tell him your done with his addiction and nonsense and will not return until he fixes himself and for God's sake stick to it...You deserve better.Stop supporting him and his behavior...Make him responsible stop supporting the junkie....
4
I agree with the 2 posters above me.

You are in a dangerous situation, and it doesn't get better on it's own.

There are some real good people on this Board with good advice. However, this is no substitute for working your own program of recovery. Al Anon and NAR Anon are both good options. Often local churches have programs for famlily members. Attend meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, do service work, etc.. These all bear good fruit to live with hope vs. despair.

Good luck.
-Fly