Hiya guys
was gonna say sumthin but cant get it out yet but.....a few days ago i spoke to a very close family member,,the closest and he told me bout sumthin that happened at the docs,n,u know what..it never regesiterd for about 3days as i was too wrapped up in my own s*** bcoz yup,i am strugglin,strugglin gettin through each day without using,,i really have to but will i be able to??fcuk-knows,all i know is its so hard on the sanity..
The person above i,m talkin about reckons i need professional help...I,ve had professional help and agree with mom or jaz,when they said the authorities have us by the balls when on meth..I reckon i,m too old anyway,plus i just want to be free,free from everything..Sorry guys but i,ve been there and dont want to go down that road again..At the moment i,m on nothing,i feel it...i dont know if it,ll last and as i said to my fam member,what do u want me to do then just throw the towel in??He was told of a christian re-hab,,maybe it,ll come to that but i reckon the only way i,ll go there voluntary is if i lose everything i,ve got..
I,m not slaggin the peeps on meth but i,ll lose my job fr a kick-off thats b4 i even give it any thought so no...Am i the only one whos trying to get by without these things,,serious question..coz as Kat says i,m cream crackered with it all i really am...
Anyway,sorry fr boring any of u coz i do not like starting a thread,never have,never will.....Eck....
Eckie, sorry you're feeling so close to the edge. I guess only you know what you're willing to do to hang onto sobriety. How long have you been clean now? It was Jaz that was talking about the 'chains' of methadone, but hey, you need what you need. Have you ever been on MM before? The subs really helped my daughter and she detoxed off them fairly quickly as she was pregnant...said it wasn't as bad as she'd been led to believe. But if there's no rush, then a slower taper would be better for sure.
You oughta show up here more often, pal.
Love ~
You oughta show up here more often, pal.
Love ~
Hi Eck- -
Youll be al right- - use your umbrella
and I gotta tell ya - that cream crackered line , is the best***
If I was in your shoes, I might give the subs a try before the mdone- especially if your against it -
Its all about how deep your in - and I think you can do the sub thing instead of a mdone thing
keep in touch
Youll be al right- - use your umbrella
and I gotta tell ya - that cream crackered line , is the best***
If I was in your shoes, I might give the subs a try before the mdone- especially if your against it -
Its all about how deep your in - and I think you can do the sub thing instead of a mdone thing
keep in touch
Feel for you eekie
hell it's been a hard summer on this board did I say summer where was it?
As Jack you'll get through put up that big umbrella all the people who care about us that's what stops us getting soaked.
x
hell it's been a hard summer on this board did I say summer where was it?
As Jack you'll get through put up that big umbrella all the people who care about us that's what stops us getting soaked.
x
Thanx Guys
Though i wish i hadnt posted the friggin thing as its not even close to what i was trying to say..I am strugglin though,though not in deep as you say Jack m8,,just having a hard time just now which makes me want to use though i,m fighting it at the moment and the thought comes,n,goes,ncomes again.
Too much going on in my life right now though that needs my attention and i guess i,m just feeling the weight of it all right now,,Got the world on ma shoulders so to speak,,,I do pop in Mom,though not really got much words that could help anyone at the mo though and as i,ve said i hate starting a thread apart from the odd one when i,m lookin for someone in particular..
Thanx again and i,ll have a crack with u all later....Eck.x
Though i wish i hadnt posted the friggin thing as its not even close to what i was trying to say..I am strugglin though,though not in deep as you say Jack m8,,just having a hard time just now which makes me want to use though i,m fighting it at the moment and the thought comes,n,goes,ncomes again.
Too much going on in my life right now though that needs my attention and i guess i,m just feeling the weight of it all right now,,Got the world on ma shoulders so to speak,,,I do pop in Mom,though not really got much words that could help anyone at the mo though and as i,ve said i hate starting a thread apart from the odd one when i,m lookin for someone in particular..
Thanx again and i,ll have a crack with u all later....Eck.x
The words and struggles of a fellow addict are always a help to those who wish to know they are not alone...hang tough, pal.
Love ~ M&M
Love ~ M&M
Ah the bold Eck wits up wae ye? It's no like you te have yer face trippin ye!
Seriously Eckie are you ok? sounds like your'e taking the wieght of the world on you again love, TRY to remember youre just one man have a day or two thats just for you and nobody else. Im sorry youre not feeling great mate, you've got my email so if you want to vent feel free. love kitty xxx
Seriously Eckie are you ok? sounds like your'e taking the wieght of the world on you again love, TRY to remember youre just one man have a day or two thats just for you and nobody else. Im sorry youre not feeling great mate, you've got my email so if you want to vent feel free. love kitty xxx
Ah The Bold ECK is awe the better fr seeing u post Kitty,u dont half make me laugh chick..xx
Awwww i'm glad i gave you a wee tickle lol. I'm thinking wit tae have tae eat i forgot to eat today and noo am 'hank marvin' i think i'll be a grubber and order a takeaway.I hate it when i get this hungry my eyes are bigger than my belly i always order the one person meal thingy but the portions are massive and i never get past the chicken noodle soup lol. So whats the plan for the morra? Anything exciting planned???? love kittyxxxx
A hink thats whits wrong Kitty,
I,M fcukin pissed right off doing what i do,,gonny speak to someone about it bcoz its only a matter time b4 a get into bother.Doin the kids t school etc is ok but as soon as i,m with adults they think they can talk to you the way they want,that yr just a tube,n,believe me i take the bait..I once told you i was 5ft2ins,well i,m actually a bit bigger than that.lol
I,ve no got the right tempremant fr dealing wi the public pal,so although a dont want to let my bro down i,m gonna have to start thinkin of maself,n,go do my own thing,i can always still help in ma spare time,so thats the plan,either that or am gonna get into bother as i,ve said....speak l8r bud..Eck..x
I,M fcukin pissed right off doing what i do,,gonny speak to someone about it bcoz its only a matter time b4 a get into bother.Doin the kids t school etc is ok but as soon as i,m with adults they think they can talk to you the way they want,that yr just a tube,n,believe me i take the bait..I once told you i was 5ft2ins,well i,m actually a bit bigger than that.lol
I,ve no got the right tempremant fr dealing wi the public pal,so although a dont want to let my bro down i,m gonna have to start thinkin of maself,n,go do my own thing,i can always still help in ma spare time,so thats the plan,either that or am gonna get into bother as i,ve said....speak l8r bud..Eck..x
Hey my buddy! How you doing? I just read this and had to reply. Eckie mate, I'm in the priory. 25 days clean and T is 2 and a half weeks on subs. Mate, we have to do what we have to do. As long as you're not using. It's so good to come on here and see you post. Been in a haze for the last while, we lost the dog and went on the biggest bender ever, hence i ended up in here. I've had enough of it, i can't do this s*** anymore! Keep strong buddy, you're a strong cookie. Hey, Celtic got their arses kicked tonight, smile!!!! Love and hugs, Linz xx
Linz,i,m so happy for you pal,its great to hear from you again..I,VE got to get out this rut and move on in my life pal,,to be honest i dont think i,m completely over T yet,,at least not when i feel like this anyway..I still see her all the time,shes still my m8,n,t be honest i would rather we were m8s bcoz of the kids..Shes not moved on with anyone else yet either and i hope i,m strong enough to deal with it when she does..I really need to get my confidence back as all the youthful cockiness has gone..
Its a vicious circle,i want someone in my life again though not this second as to be honest i,m fcukin lonely,just my dog for company and thats the way its gonna be till i,m right,though if i meet someone it,ll be bcoz i like them and want to spend time with them not just bcoz i,m desperate...lol..
Did it cost you to get in there pal and whats the deal with it..Keep in touch buddy,,i,ve missed you,s..luv..Eck,,,n,,good luck..xx
Its a vicious circle,i want someone in my life again though not this second as to be honest i,m fcukin lonely,just my dog for company and thats the way its gonna be till i,m right,though if i meet someone it,ll be bcoz i like them and want to spend time with them not just bcoz i,m desperate...lol..
Did it cost you to get in there pal and whats the deal with it..Keep in touch buddy,,i,ve missed you,s..luv..Eck,,,n,,good luck..xx
Ecktooooo! The mighty (lmao) 'tic got their arses handed tae them yas! A wis howlin' they'll aw be doon the harp club greetin' in tae their pints lmfao! just the thing tae plaster a grin on yer chops. Any chance you're going to the Rangers v Man U game? I'll no be going down to England but might try and get to Ibrox game fingers crossed eh?
I hear you pal about working with the public there's more than a few fanny's about, how you resist the temptation to skelp them in the dish i dont know . I understand you dont want to let down your brother but its your health at stake dont put your recovery in jeopardy for anyone. If he loves you and wants he best for you he'll understand and if he doesnt he never deserved your help anyway.
So i'm gonna put on my nurses hat and order you some time to remember all the cool stuff about being clean, spend time wae the weans, go away for a few days, go to the fitba whatever makes you smile or i'll hunt you down and stick ma size 4 boot up yer bum lmao much love kittyxxxxxxx
I hear you pal about working with the public there's more than a few fanny's about, how you resist the temptation to skelp them in the dish i dont know . I understand you dont want to let down your brother but its your health at stake dont put your recovery in jeopardy for anyone. If he loves you and wants he best for you he'll understand and if he doesnt he never deserved your help anyway.
So i'm gonna put on my nurses hat and order you some time to remember all the cool stuff about being clean, spend time wae the weans, go away for a few days, go to the fitba whatever makes you smile or i'll hunt you down and stick ma size 4 boot up yer bum lmao much love kittyxxxxxxx
Hey bud! Good to hear from you! I'm hearing you mate, I'm struggling myself in here but only when i'm bored. T is asking for you, he's doing the subs at home. This is all paid for through my medical insurance. I couldn't afford it, it costs over three grand a week! I just got tired of being sick. Been off work for months and I need to get my life back on track. Been fighting this s*** forever it feels like! They detoxed me using subs but took me off them at 2mg, I was ill for 4 days so they had to give me other stuff for the withdrawals. Then I came of valium so had to go through that s*** too. It's not been easy but I need to keep telling myself if i go back, i'll have to do it all again and won't get this opportunity again. I hope you get the result you're after today at the fitbaw! Got something to tell you about yer team but not here. Maybe when I'm out we can catch up one night. Would be good to catch up. Hang in mate, I'll be on later if you're up for it?? Watching the x factor and being all sad as you do, then I'll come on. One of the guys here is off home for the night and he's left me his laptop! Very trusting lol. Imagine leaving your laptop with a junkie!!! Give T my love and keep going mate. We can do this!!!!
Linz x
Linz x
Linzie ma wee buddy..
1-Dont call yerself a junkie pal,your now a recovering addict,ma pal ,!!So dont call yerself that it sounds horrible and you are far,far,far away from being horrible.Any of you guys reading this,me and Linz have met and if you knew her you would agree wi me that she is far from being that..Kitty !!Linz is one of ,us,though she,s a wee Jambo fae Lothian region....Kitty,s fae Loch Lomond Linz..Linz is fae the auld gang that oor Bryn talks of,,Bryn really likes her as does everyone..A know bottom line,brass monkeys are what we are,a just hate that word Linz..
I,m so glad that you have got yerself in there pal,where is it??Anythings a canter compared to Detox 5..I,M gLAD T,s on the subs too,is it detox or maintenence in his case??The good thing about them also i think is the fact that gear will have little or no affect if he uses,might be an idea to stay on them..
A was up at Ibrox today though never went in as i,ve got all my bills to pay on Tuesday and i need every penny+more to get level again..How long are you there for?No wantin to put any pressure on you pal but if you want to make that wee dream of yours come true then you need to stay clean..I honestly really hope u make it pal,u and T,,COZ a really like him tae..Aye the Gers got there in the end tday,,I do the same supporters club every week and its by far my favourite hire,,i know alot of the people on the bus and get on good with everyone on it,n,bcoz some of the people know me they know what i,m like so we have a good crack,,a wish they were all like them..I,M on facebook as well linz,n,my e-mail is eckblueplean@aol.com though i think u might have that..Anyway,i,ll keep poppin in to see if your about as thats me in for the night now,so until l8r buddy.....katch ye..xxxx
1-Dont call yerself a junkie pal,your now a recovering addict,ma pal ,!!So dont call yerself that it sounds horrible and you are far,far,far away from being horrible.Any of you guys reading this,me and Linz have met and if you knew her you would agree wi me that she is far from being that..Kitty !!Linz is one of ,us,though she,s a wee Jambo fae Lothian region....Kitty,s fae Loch Lomond Linz..Linz is fae the auld gang that oor Bryn talks of,,Bryn really likes her as does everyone..A know bottom line,brass monkeys are what we are,a just hate that word Linz..
I,m so glad that you have got yerself in there pal,where is it??Anythings a canter compared to Detox 5..I,M gLAD T,s on the subs too,is it detox or maintenence in his case??The good thing about them also i think is the fact that gear will have little or no affect if he uses,might be an idea to stay on them..
A was up at Ibrox today though never went in as i,ve got all my bills to pay on Tuesday and i need every penny+more to get level again..How long are you there for?No wantin to put any pressure on you pal but if you want to make that wee dream of yours come true then you need to stay clean..I honestly really hope u make it pal,u and T,,COZ a really like him tae..Aye the Gers got there in the end tday,,I do the same supporters club every week and its by far my favourite hire,,i know alot of the people on the bus and get on good with everyone on it,n,bcoz some of the people know me they know what i,m like so we have a good crack,,a wish they were all like them..I,M on facebook as well linz,n,my e-mail is eckblueplean@aol.com though i think u might have that..Anyway,i,ll keep poppin in to see if your about as thats me in for the night now,so until l8r buddy.....katch ye..xxxx
Aw, you're a wee gem! It's in Glasgow mate. It's good, they know their stuff. It's all up to me now mate. It's scary but good too. My moods are up and dow like a yoyo though! We were both on the subs for a couple of months but we were just using on top mate. They are so hard to come off too! Mind you, my doctor stopped me al 2mg. I told him he was nuts but he didn't listen till I was dying for 4 days and couldn't get out my bed! I don't think there's an easy way though, you have to go through some pain eh? Did yous win 2-1 today? T isn't on an official detox anymore, he couldn't make his appointments with me being here but we have a huge stockpile of subs so he can take them a while till he's physically fit and then off. He's only on 2mg a day and not using so fingers crossed. I'm on naltrexone now too, just keeping myself safe what with both of us being in early recovery. No point taking chances, I learned that when I came out detox 5. Never again!
Hey Kitty, good to hae another Scot on here, nice to meet you!
Linz xx
Hey Kitty, good to hae another Scot on here, nice to meet you!
Linz xx
I,ve just wiped a huge reply by accident,n,fcukin gutted..
Linz,the blockers are a great idea,i think its recommended that u stay on them for at least 12months..I was on them once b4 but didnt like them,,at that time i thought i could go back to my old life b4 the drugs,going out with the boys,getting drunk etc which i think lookin back was the reason i didnt feel good on them as i sweated horribly after drinking and blamed the naltrexone when really it was bcoz of the drink..I didnt want to accept at that time that drinking was a thing i couldnt do safely anymore bcoz of the high risk of relapse and after putting it to the test(several times)i now realise that i cant do it anymore..Best of it is my brother who has tried to help me thought that if off the drugs that i could go back to being the old Eck too but even he realises that i cant do it anymore..I,m a slow learner..
Linz,do u remember Kev fae Dundee??Well he went down the naltrexone route and he is an absolute picture of health now(facebook pics)dont worry Kev,yer no ma type...But i,m assuming Kev was the same as the rest of us at one point but he really seems to be doing great..When i detoxed off the subs in a clinic in Aberdeen they took us down to .4mg,,I think we came down to 2mg/then .8/.4 then off i think,,it maybe even went down to .2 but 2mg is too much of a drop,totally defeating the purpose after the great work of coming down.Hopefully our time is up on drugs and its recovery all the way now Linz bcoz like yourself i,m worn out with it all.I want my life to change for the better oh so much and am too old for that kind of life and to be honest i feel like i,m pathetic still to be strugglin with it at my age i really do..
Keep in touch Linz and be strong,,you,ll be an awesome wee chick wi 6months clean time i really believe that..catch ye in a bit..Eck..xxx
Linz,the blockers are a great idea,i think its recommended that u stay on them for at least 12months..I was on them once b4 but didnt like them,,at that time i thought i could go back to my old life b4 the drugs,going out with the boys,getting drunk etc which i think lookin back was the reason i didnt feel good on them as i sweated horribly after drinking and blamed the naltrexone when really it was bcoz of the drink..I didnt want to accept at that time that drinking was a thing i couldnt do safely anymore bcoz of the high risk of relapse and after putting it to the test(several times)i now realise that i cant do it anymore..Best of it is my brother who has tried to help me thought that if off the drugs that i could go back to being the old Eck too but even he realises that i cant do it anymore..I,m a slow learner..
Linz,do u remember Kev fae Dundee??Well he went down the naltrexone route and he is an absolute picture of health now(facebook pics)dont worry Kev,yer no ma type...But i,m assuming Kev was the same as the rest of us at one point but he really seems to be doing great..When i detoxed off the subs in a clinic in Aberdeen they took us down to .4mg,,I think we came down to 2mg/then .8/.4 then off i think,,it maybe even went down to .2 but 2mg is too much of a drop,totally defeating the purpose after the great work of coming down.Hopefully our time is up on drugs and its recovery all the way now Linz bcoz like yourself i,m worn out with it all.I want my life to change for the better oh so much and am too old for that kind of life and to be honest i feel like i,m pathetic still to be strugglin with it at my age i really do..
Keep in touch Linz and be strong,,you,ll be an awesome wee chick wi 6months clean time i really believe that..catch ye in a bit..Eck..xxx
Aw, cheers mate. I do remember kev, that's sound. I still haven't got round to facebook, I thought I was too old! I'll maybe set one up. I'm on Bebo but never bothered to even put a photo on it. My life has just been one bit puff of smoke for too long! Was having bad cravings today but I know it was boredom so when I get out, I need to get busy, get back to work, join a gym, meetings etc. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Hey, you liking my new NA lingo? It's pretty full on in here but it's ok. I'm too old for this s*** too. I just want to be normal and maybe even have a baby. Is that too much to ask?
I am going to stay on the naltrexone for a year, i think in my situation i'd be mad not to. You still working for your bro?
Linz x
I am going to stay on the naltrexone for a year, i think in my situation i'd be mad not to. You still working for your bro?
Linz x
Aye am still workin fr ma bro pal.
Facebook is supposed to be the adult version of bebo,its amazing the amount of people on there,its awesome fr finding people fae the past etc..
When a spoke earlier about u needing to be clean fr the wee dream u had,it was a baby i meant bcoz i know u want to be a mum,,,
The cravings are a thing everyone has to deal with,even people who,ve been clean fr years still get them,though they reckon it gets easier to deal with it..I,M gonny go back to the meetings tae Linz,bcoz a reckon a really need to,a like it when a went b4 apart fae folk who were clean fr a couple of years sitting fcukin gouching,,that was hard to deal with,n,a dunno how people thought it was anything else..I used tae get a kinda high fae the meetings so i,m gonna go back,anything fr a clean and sober life..Had tae go rescue a coach fae Queensferry a cpl of weeks ago,the tube slid on the cobbles in hit to posts in that skinny wee bit of road in middle of town on way to the carpark where u turn,,u know where i mean,,Thats the beauty of the blockers when yer craving,s,what there for and yer also right about the boredom,its a big part of the problem so we,ve got t be busy..
Sorry to hear about yer wee dug by the way...Reading Festival this weekend,,used to go there every year,n,sometimes land at Nottinghill carnival tomorrow,,,oh,those were the days my friend..x
Facebook is supposed to be the adult version of bebo,its amazing the amount of people on there,its awesome fr finding people fae the past etc..
When a spoke earlier about u needing to be clean fr the wee dream u had,it was a baby i meant bcoz i know u want to be a mum,,,
The cravings are a thing everyone has to deal with,even people who,ve been clean fr years still get them,though they reckon it gets easier to deal with it..I,M gonny go back to the meetings tae Linz,bcoz a reckon a really need to,a like it when a went b4 apart fae folk who were clean fr a couple of years sitting fcukin gouching,,that was hard to deal with,n,a dunno how people thought it was anything else..I used tae get a kinda high fae the meetings so i,m gonna go back,anything fr a clean and sober life..Had tae go rescue a coach fae Queensferry a cpl of weeks ago,the tube slid on the cobbles in hit to posts in that skinny wee bit of road in middle of town on way to the carpark where u turn,,u know where i mean,,Thats the beauty of the blockers when yer craving,s,what there for and yer also right about the boredom,its a big part of the problem so we,ve got t be busy..
Sorry to hear about yer wee dug by the way...Reading Festival this weekend,,used to go there every year,n,sometimes land at Nottinghill carnival tomorrow,,,oh,those were the days my friend..x
Hiya Linz nice tae meet you mate, any pal of Ecks is a pal of mine ( I wis gonna say any pal of Ecks is a....nutjob but he might take the nip lmao) If you dont mind me asking how is the priory? I've heard horror stories about detox5 and im hoping the priory is better just incase i ever venture down that path. Again nice tae meet you and well done on sticking out rehab x Much love Kittyxx
