Why I Self Medicate

[whitekitty]

my anniversaey date is Jan. 6th 2006 will be 1 yr. clean & sober what lead me to recovery was I lost everything I had my family friends my car ,house everything so I had to get it this time or it was going to kill me.I self medicate because I always thought and beleived it was my one and only choice to deal with all my problems and I did'nt know how to deal with my situaitions other than to medicate myself.Self medicating to me was my security, a safe way of letting others know to leave me alone and also let them know I have a problem and needed help, but instead it was turning my family and friends away so I would continue to self medcate ignoring the harm I was causing my family and friends and also myself. I also medicate to take away the pain I'm feeling for how my life has turned out.I would medicate for feeling guilty for the things I've done and said to my children and family and the pain I have caused them. But for today I know longer have to medicate for now I do beleive in a higher power and if you let go and let God things will start to get better for you, and beleive me it don't happen overnight, but if you keep the faith even when things aren't going so good you will see a change for the better like I did, just remember one day at a time and you too can be a recovering addict not an active addict. Best wishes on your journey to recovery it's a tough road ahead of you and if I can do it after being a addict 25yrs. anyone can , but you truley have to want it or you will fall down,as I did time and time again but if you do fall brush yourself off and start over, May God be with everyone