I'm struggling here. It's been 12 days and today is a really bad day. I went cold turkey off the vics and I thought I was doing better on Monday. Maybe I just tried to do too much. I went back to trying to do all my work, handle the house, etc, etc. and then I just fell apart last night and today. It's just too much. I feel like such a loser being unable to cope with a normal day's routine. How long will this last? Do I need anti-depressants or something? I'm trying to stay away from a traditional doctor approach of prescribing something to help as I'd like to see what my "normal" brain chemistry is for at least a couple of weeks before they figure out what I may or may not need, but geez, all I want to do is cry today. Or bite somebody's head off. Or kick the dog! Thank goodness we have dogs to yell at. They always continue to love you even when you're a grouch.
Maggie Im sorry for what your going through.Day 12 is great.I know you don't feel great but for you & your body it is.I wouldn't just jump into anti depressants they aren't a cure all(i wish) I think you should give your body some time.It is an adjustment for all of you...body mind soul.I hope it gets better for you take care.....mj
MJ...How are you feeling these days? I was reading thru some posts and see you were having some tough days. Are you feeling better?
mjOh GHF thank you yes I am doing better.My main complaint is still the lack of energy.I'm not use to feeling I guess drained is the word.I saw my MD the other day & he seems pleased with my progress.My MD has been mine since I was 17 so thats 20 years ago.He has seen me go through alot.How are you feeling?
Maggie, it takes a while for your brain chemistry to get back to normal. Your gonna have days where you feel like your taking two steps back, but then you'll have days where you take three steps forward. Its a long slow process but you'll get there.
hang in there,
JohnDee
hang in there,
JohnDee
MJ...(I always think of the girl in Spiderman. LOL)
I am glad to hear you are feeling better. Remember there are always going to be tough days. Just keep the good ones in your back pocket so you can think about them when you are going thru a tough day!
I can't complain. I feel great other than having a virus this past weekend. Sometimes when I feel like I have no energy I go for a cup of coffee or take my dog for a long walk, just to clear my mind. It helps me, maybe you should try it. But I am soooo glad to see you are feeling better. That must be nice to have a doctor you have had for so many years!
I am glad to hear you are feeling better. Remember there are always going to be tough days. Just keep the good ones in your back pocket so you can think about them when you are going thru a tough day!
I can't complain. I feel great other than having a virus this past weekend. Sometimes when I feel like I have no energy I go for a cup of coffee or take my dog for a long walk, just to clear my mind. It helps me, maybe you should try it. But I am soooo glad to see you are feeling better. That must be nice to have a doctor you have had for so many years!
Maggie.......JohnD is so right. Two steps back some days is normal. The blues come and go. Kicking the dog is OK. Screaming, yelling and crying is OK. Get it out and start fresh tomorrow. Your body is still adjusting to the lack of chemicals you were feeding it. It takes awhile, but it does get better, honest. I was on day 12 at Thanksgiving and don't know how I got through it, but I did. And then I made it through Christmas! OMG! It's almost the end of Jan. and I am smiling today. All that is a blur and it will be for you soon, too. Hang on!
It is so worth it! Take a nice hot bath, always worked some for me.
Yes it is good and bad because he was one I played but I'll tell ya when I fessed up & was honest & asked for his help he was right there to answer questions & talk about the sub.But yea he is a good MD but I also remember hes human too so he can /will make mistakes if that makes sense.I'm glad to hear your doing good.I come to this board & everyday someone has either made 1 day 15 hr and ya know I'm pulling for them.It is inspirational to read some of these post....mj
Maggie,
I think you did try to take on too much hon. I have to really commend you for trying to figure out who you really are and how you really feel before going to the doctor. Thats really good.
So, you go ahead and cry, yell at the dog, do whatever, just keep up the good work.
Love,
Briar
I think you did try to take on too much hon. I have to really commend you for trying to figure out who you really are and how you really feel before going to the doctor. Thats really good.
So, you go ahead and cry, yell at the dog, do whatever, just keep up the good work.
Love,
Briar
nope.. antidepressants only help for clinical depression...and your would be situational depression right now due to the withdrawal.. that is not to say that a doctor would not give you them and try to help but it wouldnt do much good as they generally take 2 to 3 weeks to help and so forth....
I would ask what outside support do you have.... talking f2f with people who have been there and know what you are going through... can make all the difference in the world... this board is great but nothing takes a place of a warm hug or a friends smile and kind eyes.... no I am not preaching a meeting exactly... but... that wouldnt be sooooo bad would it.... (lol...)..
any way your are completely normal in your feeling and just dont substitute one thing for another... nothing not over the counter energy things... not alcohol... notthing .... this will pass... (* I only add this cause some new people get really frustrated at not being able to do there normal work stuff and do the stackers thing or other stufff... dont mean to imply you imparticular... please dont take offense..)
This will level off.. it still wont be a walkin the park but it does get a little easier with time... I promise....
Teresa
I would ask what outside support do you have.... talking f2f with people who have been there and know what you are going through... can make all the difference in the world... this board is great but nothing takes a place of a warm hug or a friends smile and kind eyes.... no I am not preaching a meeting exactly... but... that wouldnt be sooooo bad would it.... (lol...)..
any way your are completely normal in your feeling and just dont substitute one thing for another... nothing not over the counter energy things... not alcohol... notthing .... this will pass... (* I only add this cause some new people get really frustrated at not being able to do there normal work stuff and do the stackers thing or other stufff... dont mean to imply you imparticular... please dont take offense..)
This will level off.. it still wont be a walkin the park but it does get a little easier with time... I promise....
Teresa
Being one of the newer ones I can say yes you will feel better.Thats what I need to keep doing for me.I want & miss being superwoman ball of energy that I tend to forget it may take awhile.hang in there
Tmom I didn't realize your doing that well I'm so glad.Must of been the best Christmas present you ever gave yourself mj
Tmom I didn't realize your doing that well I'm so glad.Must of been the best Christmas present you ever gave yourself mj
Maggie,
I posted almost the same message on day 12. Wondering if I needed anti depressants. give it more time, I know its hard. You will start to have some good days. Good luck.
-Tom
I posted almost the same message on day 12. Wondering if I needed anti depressants. give it more time, I know its hard. You will start to have some good days. Good luck.
-Tom
Maggie,
Hey kid, what's happening? I'm sorry I haven't been on to post much in the last few days. I've been much like you...I feel like most of the physical w/ds (shakes, chills, etc, etc) are subsiding, and it makes me angry that I still don't feel "great". Last night I think I had a small panic attack, because I spent half the night literally pouring sweat out of my body...that's never happened to me before in my life. I hope that day 13 goes better for you. I think you are doing great. You're one day ahead of me, so you always give me something to shoot for!
Keep going but take it easy when you need to. I've been surprised at how quickly I've gotten some spurts of energy back, but then I've just got some really dead times. Most of all, what I'm worried about is that as the physical symptoms start to die away, my mental cravings have become stronger again. Can't my mind realize that it was just 5 or 6 days ago that my body was going through hell? But there it is anyway...and I'm constantly having to deflect that thought out of my head. Today has been especially hard for me as far as that goes.
Here's praying that you get some much needed rest tonight Maggie. You'll be in my thoughts.
JD
Hey kid, what's happening? I'm sorry I haven't been on to post much in the last few days. I've been much like you...I feel like most of the physical w/ds (shakes, chills, etc, etc) are subsiding, and it makes me angry that I still don't feel "great". Last night I think I had a small panic attack, because I spent half the night literally pouring sweat out of my body...that's never happened to me before in my life. I hope that day 13 goes better for you. I think you are doing great. You're one day ahead of me, so you always give me something to shoot for!
Keep going but take it easy when you need to. I've been surprised at how quickly I've gotten some spurts of energy back, but then I've just got some really dead times. Most of all, what I'm worried about is that as the physical symptoms start to die away, my mental cravings have become stronger again. Can't my mind realize that it was just 5 or 6 days ago that my body was going through hell? But there it is anyway...and I'm constantly having to deflect that thought out of my head. Today has been especially hard for me as far as that goes.
Here's praying that you get some much needed rest tonight Maggie. You'll be in my thoughts.
JD
JD - Hey there. I was wondering about you. Figured you felt about as motivated as I have felt. Today, I just feel like I've been hit by a truck. I did have a massage/body work by a holistic "de-tox" individual who is awesome. This was done yesterday and she is really good for healing past trauma. I think I have just been trying to overdo it. I am a person who is usually very busy juggling 3-4 things at a time, never sitting still, so this is new for me. I just have to be kind to myself. I had an appointment with my counselor and decided to talk further with my husband and let him know what I needed help with around here. I still don't think he gets this at all and thinks I should be feling great by now. I also plan to talk to the folks at work and try to get myself cut a little slack for the next week or so. I don't want them wondering why I've been slacking a little bit. I'm sitting here right now trying to get some tapes transcribed for work that I should have done today but keep playing on the internet instead. Oh, well. I hope you continue to hang in there. Fight those cravings. Do you really want to go through this again??? I keep having these "blips" in my brain, sort of like heart palpitations only in my head. Weird.
Hi Maggie, try to be easy on yourself....it takes time for the brain to re-adjust. For me at least, the return of feelings, both good and bad, were unpredictable at first -- they often had little to do with any event or situation outside of me. I think I was kind of thawing out....I had been cold and numb from the pain pills for quite a while.
I can identify with the instinct jump right back into everything and expect to be "bigger and better" than ever before...I did the same thing to myself. It can be a recipe for meltdown. Try to lighten up on yourself and give yourself some credit for just not using today....that's a huge accomplishment, in and of itself. Same for JD -- you guys are kind of tracking each other. M.
I can identify with the instinct jump right back into everything and expect to be "bigger and better" than ever before...I did the same thing to myself. It can be a recipe for meltdown. Try to lighten up on yourself and give yourself some credit for just not using today....that's a huge accomplishment, in and of itself. Same for JD -- you guys are kind of tracking each other. M.
