there are quite a few women on here who are the significant other of men who are using, but i have yet to see the other side--maybe i just havent seen it or are we being chumps--i know ive done it and waited and cried and begged and kidded myself but you dont see many men who will put up with the same--or maybe we just talk about it more--your thoughts???
my partner and i r users( in treatment) although i am the driving force in getting clean(tryin). i have more willpower and am constantly nagging 4 her 2 b stronger and stop. sometimes i will b the weaker one and give in but mostly the other way round.i think that when ur using,it's harder 2 post on these sites and when i'm using i don't post as i feel guilty and can't b bothered.lol.but i do believe that those r 2 factors as 2 why u don't hear from the other half ...herms.
Girl, what chu worrying about that for........LOL........no, no you're right and I was gonna say that maybe men aren't as apt to use the board, but that's plain daft ain't it.......cause lots of men do.
Oh I'd like to say "Psssssssshhhhhh, you know how men are, Amity".....LOL...but I can't.......ummmmm, let's see.........it depends I guess.
All about the exchange........if ya have a man ain't a user, but wants to have the full upper hand.........I'd like to say keep ya held down, but we know better.....only person can hold us down is us.
Probably yeah in my experience anyway.........power..........all about it.......you're whacked then I'm in.......and well maybe literally.........oh who knows? Chica, Men are from Mars don't ya know...........LOL.......good question though.........where's our Zero Girl she'll have a good answer.......she's on logical lady...........I love her for that.
Stop concerning yourself with the battle of the sexes and tell me something funny...........LOL..........naw, man that's a good post Amity.
Oh I'd like to say "Psssssssshhhhhh, you know how men are, Amity".....LOL...but I can't.......ummmmm, let's see.........it depends I guess.
All about the exchange........if ya have a man ain't a user, but wants to have the full upper hand.........I'd like to say keep ya held down, but we know better.....only person can hold us down is us.
Probably yeah in my experience anyway.........power..........all about it.......you're whacked then I'm in.......and well maybe literally.........oh who knows? Chica, Men are from Mars don't ya know...........LOL.......good question though.........where's our Zero Girl she'll have a good answer.......she's on logical lady...........I love her for that.
Stop concerning yourself with the battle of the sexes and tell me something funny...........LOL..........naw, man that's a good post Amity.
No Amity you're not being a chump!! Far from it! I don't know why it is.Woman have just got a softer side to their nature and are more caring.. just my opinion. The girl i've been seeing has told me she is coming off H this week as her mum is away on hol for a fortnight. I told her i'd help her 100%. She has been taking Dihydrocodeine since yesterday and she has booked friday and monday off her wpork and she is gonna just stay in all weekend. I've told her i'd stay with her and give her help. I've never done a rattle that i've prepared for... i only ever done it twice(properly) when remanded in prison. Anyone any tips or advice for me to make Clare's weekend easier?? Any suggestions greatlty appreciated. Hope you all have a good day, Kev
Lol BRYN: not much logic here I agree most men don't run off emotion like women. Men do think diffrent.
I had never noticed before the unbalance between women with addicted bf/hubby, and the men with adicted gf/wife.
I have been the addicted gf with a clean bf. I met Rob in bad shape. I lived with 3 guys all addicts. I met him 4 months before getting into m-done treatment. He is the best friend of my best friends boyfriend. He watched as i lost my kids, got my arm infection, lost house, car, and was homeless. He did not get INVOLVED relationship wise untill i was in m-done clinic. He never would give me money while i used. I would call him for $ he would hang up on me everytime. Only thing he would do when i was active using he would call 2x a week take me to diner or bowling to play pool or something.
He was there when no one else was for me to do my cluck to get into the m-done treatment. YOU HAVE TO GO IN the clinic in active withdraw. He stayed up with me while i was runny nosed, puking, sweating, drove me to get in the clinic at 5am. He was real CLEAR after taking me to m-done clinic that if i started using again he would not be there for me. He is a elementary school teacher he was very worried about the school knowing he was dating a addict. He works in a upscale neighborhood where word spreads fast thru the school. He never took me to meet his family untill i had months of methadone treatment. He put up with a lot he was there when i detoxed from m-done was crying all the time not sleeping. I ask him what he saw in me.
He says, dope was something i DID never was who I am.
He's told me he'ld never do it all over again with me if i started using again he would take the baby and leave. I fully belive he would. He went thru it with me to get me clean it was crazy hard on him. Bless his heart
I had never noticed before the unbalance between women with addicted bf/hubby, and the men with adicted gf/wife.
I have been the addicted gf with a clean bf. I met Rob in bad shape. I lived with 3 guys all addicts. I met him 4 months before getting into m-done treatment. He is the best friend of my best friends boyfriend. He watched as i lost my kids, got my arm infection, lost house, car, and was homeless. He did not get INVOLVED relationship wise untill i was in m-done clinic. He never would give me money while i used. I would call him for $ he would hang up on me everytime. Only thing he would do when i was active using he would call 2x a week take me to diner or bowling to play pool or something.
He was there when no one else was for me to do my cluck to get into the m-done treatment. YOU HAVE TO GO IN the clinic in active withdraw. He stayed up with me while i was runny nosed, puking, sweating, drove me to get in the clinic at 5am. He was real CLEAR after taking me to m-done clinic that if i started using again he would not be there for me. He is a elementary school teacher he was very worried about the school knowing he was dating a addict. He works in a upscale neighborhood where word spreads fast thru the school. He never took me to meet his family untill i had months of methadone treatment. He put up with a lot he was there when i detoxed from m-done was crying all the time not sleeping. I ask him what he saw in me.
He says, dope was something i DID never was who I am.
He's told me he'ld never do it all over again with me if i started using again he would take the baby and leave. I fully belive he would. He went thru it with me to get me clean it was crazy hard on him. Bless his heart
It was good to read your post there ZG, you've got a good man there! Take it easy, Kev
Kev, as for advice on helping the girl you've been seeing. I don't know, CAN ONLY SAY what I think. All Rob did for me was be there: let me whine really, ears to listen, shoulder to lean on. I'm glad i had him if i had it to do all over i would have rather had more sober time before getting relationship involved. I had a lot to do to SORT me out sometimes it was bad to have his needs to. I was not ready or stable i ended up pregnant lil over a year later while detoxing mdone. It was really all more then i needed to deal with. I think it's great advice to avoid relationship at least the 1st year getting clean, WISH I HAD FOLLOWED THAT ADVICE!.,Your heads such a mess getting clean feelings emotions so mentally hard everyone knows you can't give to a relationship untill your in a good place yourself.
..Alrite kev..
..Ya say she's been taking dihydracodeine since yesterday..does that mean she's stopped using gear?..i ain't really got no advice as to wot to do cos peeps react differently to withdrawal..but as ZG just said..just being there for her and tryna make her as comfortable as she can get..try keep her headstrong with support not to use if she feels like using..maybe others will post with better advice..but be careful yaself not to fall back into the geartrap..getting with someone whos on gear/tryna come off it is like watching someone do gear in front of ya..it can be such an easy trigger for you to lapse..is this her first time in trying to get off it ?..if it is..then shes gonna need more time off work to get herself focused..she dunno wots in front of her and it'll be to soon mentally to go back to work..she may think work will take her mind off the brown ?..it won't..it'll just make it harder for her to concentrate on her job and it'll be so easy for her to lapse..sorry mate..i know its not wot ya wanna hear..but ya gotta look at it from both angles..so just try make sure she's got some sorta recovery plan in place ?..and tread carefully yaself..i wish her well ; )..Robbie..
..Ya say she's been taking dihydracodeine since yesterday..does that mean she's stopped using gear?..i ain't really got no advice as to wot to do cos peeps react differently to withdrawal..but as ZG just said..just being there for her and tryna make her as comfortable as she can get..try keep her headstrong with support not to use if she feels like using..maybe others will post with better advice..but be careful yaself not to fall back into the geartrap..getting with someone whos on gear/tryna come off it is like watching someone do gear in front of ya..it can be such an easy trigger for you to lapse..is this her first time in trying to get off it ?..if it is..then shes gonna need more time off work to get herself focused..she dunno wots in front of her and it'll be to soon mentally to go back to work..she may think work will take her mind off the brown ?..it won't..it'll just make it harder for her to concentrate on her job and it'll be so easy for her to lapse..sorry mate..i know its not wot ya wanna hear..but ya gotta look at it from both angles..so just try make sure she's got some sorta recovery plan in place ?..and tread carefully yaself..i wish her well ; )..Robbie..
Kev...i echo all Robbie has said..yer being a very good mate to this lady...she is obviously doin a 4day home type dtox with the Dfs...but ye know how a rattle goes ya just have to ride it but you can only do so much...did she get the DFs off a doc.?or just off the street.
Also the plus side is she is working so after the weeknd she may feel bad but by taking the time off work to give herself those first crucial 4days..she has sumtrhin to return too.
Good luck to yer mate Kev.but as Robbie said be careful...i know you will..and fairplay to ya yer doin a great thing being so supportive to yer mate.Take care....Davey
Also the plus side is she is working so after the weeknd she may feel bad but by taking the time off work to give herself those first crucial 4days..she has sumtrhin to return too.
Good luck to yer mate Kev.but as Robbie said be careful...i know you will..and fairplay to ya yer doin a great thing being so supportive to yer mate.Take care....Davey
Cheers for the posts ZG and Robbie, appreciated. From what she has told me the past months she has been taking it now n again but over the past month she has been taking it much more. I know a habit is a habit, but i don't think hers is that bad compared to alot of people i know( d'you know what i mean?), if what she is telling me is the truth... you never know. Robbie, i've been there n done that mate, i'm not going back. She has been taking DF'S since yest and she says she is going to taper down 'til Fri then do a rattle, i'll try n get her some aunt sallies as that'll take the edge off a bit, eh? If she touches the brown i'll just get out of there.... i'm on Naltrexone anyway, even if i did want some, which i don't!! Take it easy, Kev
Kev, thinking of your friend..........I hope she makes it........and like we all know every kick is different..............ya got good advice here, Kev.
Here's to Clare and hoping she kicks that the sooner the better.......I don't think she is lying to ya Kev.........she don't have to ya know.......so if it's early on then that's good.........every time we pick back up and feed it the worse it gets.
Here's to Clare and hoping she kicks that the sooner the better.......I don't think she is lying to ya Kev.........she don't have to ya know.......so if it's early on then that's good.........every time we pick back up and feed it the worse it gets.
Cheers Everyone hope you all have a good Wednesday, Kev
valium might take the edge of it.. helped me b4..good luck , herms..
