You know I have been on here for a while now and I have seen people come and go but in the last few months I have seen alot going on that just does not make sense to me.. Most of the oldtimers have left why, well I guess they just got sick of being jumped on everytime they tried to tell people what worked for them.. People do come on here and ask for help but then they do not really like what they are told so they get defensive that is pretty normal, sometimes it takes awhile for it to sink in... I am not knocking someone elses way of getting clean but why it is when someone comes here and tell someone about aa or na people jump on them .. For a while now everytime that Cowgirl posted anything about aa or na or anything a bunch of people would come out and jump on her ... and they kept it up until they gave up and just stop posting I have seen this happened alot it happened with Teresa with Gina and Bob and now Cowgirl and I have seen it happen to Rachel..and August.. I am so sick of this why is it that it is allright to ask what works but not alright to tell them what works.. for them .. If it had not been for these people I would probably still be deep in addiction or dead ... This is a recovery board, and we are suppose to help others but all some seem to do is run people off..
Amen.
ditto
Well you guys, I can see your perspective. And I hope you can try to see others. I also see when someone tries to offer their personal experience and manner of getting clean, old timer, or new timer, it can at times be met with derision. It really does cut both ways. Other then a raw newbie, I've never seen anyone jump on anyone for sharing their NA/AA experience. But I've seen people who don't use this method being told they are lazy and not willing to do the work. That their recovery isn't real.
It's a two sided issue of a single sided coin. That's what is really to bad. A lot of good people on here have let this go beyond mature debate and turn into a petty vindictive game. We are capable of better. Beck
It's a two sided issue of a single sided coin. That's what is really to bad. A lot of good people on here have let this go beyond mature debate and turn into a petty vindictive game. We are capable of better. Beck
Very well spoken Beck!
sweety people are scared to humble themselves ...amen to the truth ,IM afraid we lost our guiding lite,,cg,golly this sadness me ,,,we need to face the truth ,it sets us free......love to all of you ,,cowgirl you are so loved ..poopie ,,,,
I think a DEBATE SECTION would do a world of good..Enter at your
own risk to debate such issues. Scares me..but could be good for those
that like a good debate now and then.
own risk to debate such issues. Scares me..but could be good for those
that like a good debate now and then.
i agree debate is healthy as long as all parties have a mutual respect for all. i am not perfect hey when my program gets slammed and i get called not clean for taking communion hahaha now come on. that is petty in my eyes. that communion is setting me on the road to relapse? well i think i should be able to come in and debate that. then the gangs come bat for each other, i dont know very many people who are not guilty of some sort of controversy or drama here. if you have managed to stay out well you are reall super new (besides trix) or you are a lurker. or just chose to remain neutral. i have said several times i respect all ways. i always will. but i wont tolorate my way being attacked because some cant put personalities before princibles, and i even accept that, we are all but only human. who here can say they havent honestly and truely say that have not been involved in the drama, the sly digs, the accusations, assumptions, judgements, pointing fingers and blaming? all i know is what i have and that is my sobriety and nothing or nobody is powerful enough to take that away from me. i wish no ill will on anyone anywhere and only have tried to work along side the great people of this board to get us all to work on and achieve toward the same goal.
terrianne
terrianne
Well said by all above!!
boo - Luckily, I have been able to bite my tongue and keep off my keyboard when the drama erupts. Oh, but I have wanted to GO OFF so many times..... (I hope I have not jinxed myself now....LOL)
Even though I strongly believe in the NA program, I will not bash those that choose not to work it. Everyone has free will to make their own decision and choose their own program or choose no program at all. (Though I honestly believe that those without ANY program are doomed to fail ..... maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen one day ..... JMHO ..... there will be a few exceptions - VERY few )
Recovery is about more than just not using pills !!!
I wish that everyone would at least give NA an honest try before saying it is not for them.
I read your thread about your NA experience and competely understand why you choose to not return to NA meetings. I am happy that you did go to some in the beginning of your recovery. It breaks my heart that some sick, evil person did that to you!!!! I admire your strength & courage to make it after that horrible ordeal. You may not work the NA program, but you ARE working a program that is working for you.
<<<HUGS>>>
boo - Luckily, I have been able to bite my tongue and keep off my keyboard when the drama erupts. Oh, but I have wanted to GO OFF so many times..... (I hope I have not jinxed myself now....LOL)
Even though I strongly believe in the NA program, I will not bash those that choose not to work it. Everyone has free will to make their own decision and choose their own program or choose no program at all. (Though I honestly believe that those without ANY program are doomed to fail ..... maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen one day ..... JMHO ..... there will be a few exceptions - VERY few )
Recovery is about more than just not using pills !!!
I wish that everyone would at least give NA an honest try before saying it is not for them.
I read your thread about your NA experience and competely understand why you choose to not return to NA meetings. I am happy that you did go to some in the beginning of your recovery. It breaks my heart that some sick, evil person did that to you!!!! I admire your strength & courage to make it after that horrible ordeal. You may not work the NA program, but you ARE working a program that is working for you.
<<<HUGS>>>
I agree that if you are following a program of recovery no matter what that program is it should be respected by others.. I am not one to say that my way works for everyone, never will, I respect anyone that can get clean and stay clean..So I listen to all ways and then I chose what worked for me.. I started going to aa before I even got clean and it really did help me I do not go as much as I should now but still believe in the program..and go when I can.. I also think that you have to really want to quit or be willing to quit.. I guess I just have seen so many on here that have replied to a post or spoke up about what worked for them or gave a suggestion about what they think will work and have had people comming right and left at them telling them that there way is not the only way.. and people have been hurt and it seem funny to me that the people that this have happened to are the ones that are going to aa or na.. JMHO
Hey Doing4Me, you are so right. It really sucks that when people are just trying to help they get attacked. It is not right, nor is it fair. Every person is different, each individual has their own means and ways of getting clean and staying clean. AA/NA works for some, for others it doesn't. I think it is sad that people aren't accepting of others views or ideas here. We are all here for the same reason, support. In my mind this is a form of aa/na, without the specified steps, that is the only difference. God Bless keep the support coming!!
We are all adults and choose to stay or go.
Unless we are banned, it is completely our choice.
I was as the term is used "attacked' when fairly new and lived through it, probably made me stronger. Many came to my defense. I would then go to the defense of a friend or a newcomer. One friend asked me not to come to her defense - it just keeps it going so I learned to stop that - it was so true. Like I say, we are all adults, I'm sure we all have more than this board to validate us, not saying anything bad about his board b/c it truly helped me at a time when nothing else could.
More than just a few have been "attacked" if they feel that way. I'm sure some sure didn't feel they were attacking anyone, just giving their opinions.
This is a recovery board. We email our friends that we have met on here and talk about any and everything like any email.
On the board, we do talk about recovery and fun stuff - I don't see anything wrong with the lighter side sometimes.
The toxic part is TOXIC - just ends up with people who have all come together to help each other taking sides. Even sometimes leads to name calling, that's so elementary. I, for one am as serious about my recovery as anyone else and I'm not saying what should and shouldn't be said but until we accept each other's way of "getting there" I'm afraid this will keep happening, taking the good part of the board away, making everything personal. This thread sounds like we all agree on that. To suggest but not push. If your way is working for you, that is wonderful. Human nature is that what we are doing and is working so well is the best but I know that others feel the same about their way. I am happy when someone finds their way. I know some are still working hard, going through W/D's, I love to try and help them instead of the "drama" as it is called. A debate to let the newcomers see choices they have is good but it sometimes turns bad.Some take things so personal.
I will not be that type person on this board. If someone attacks again, I will just ignore them and then we get back to business faster.
I've only been here since 5/31 but have met many smart people, and I don't mind asking for their advice on or off the board. I have learned this is the way for them.
That's it - OUR CHOICE - No one can run us off. I decided I needed this board so I stayed, and also I felt I owed the newcomers s'thing as I had been helped.
I try and help them, if only one, it makes me happy. It helped me so much to read success stories, showed me that it could be done. Also, sometimes after we have been around a little or a long while, we may need to ask for help. I feel that's what this board is all about.
Love to all,
Jean
Unless we are banned, it is completely our choice.
I was as the term is used "attacked' when fairly new and lived through it, probably made me stronger. Many came to my defense. I would then go to the defense of a friend or a newcomer. One friend asked me not to come to her defense - it just keeps it going so I learned to stop that - it was so true. Like I say, we are all adults, I'm sure we all have more than this board to validate us, not saying anything bad about his board b/c it truly helped me at a time when nothing else could.
More than just a few have been "attacked" if they feel that way. I'm sure some sure didn't feel they were attacking anyone, just giving their opinions.
This is a recovery board. We email our friends that we have met on here and talk about any and everything like any email.
On the board, we do talk about recovery and fun stuff - I don't see anything wrong with the lighter side sometimes.
The toxic part is TOXIC - just ends up with people who have all come together to help each other taking sides. Even sometimes leads to name calling, that's so elementary. I, for one am as serious about my recovery as anyone else and I'm not saying what should and shouldn't be said but until we accept each other's way of "getting there" I'm afraid this will keep happening, taking the good part of the board away, making everything personal. This thread sounds like we all agree on that. To suggest but not push. If your way is working for you, that is wonderful. Human nature is that what we are doing and is working so well is the best but I know that others feel the same about their way. I am happy when someone finds their way. I know some are still working hard, going through W/D's, I love to try and help them instead of the "drama" as it is called. A debate to let the newcomers see choices they have is good but it sometimes turns bad.Some take things so personal.
I will not be that type person on this board. If someone attacks again, I will just ignore them and then we get back to business faster.
I've only been here since 5/31 but have met many smart people, and I don't mind asking for their advice on or off the board. I have learned this is the way for them.
That's it - OUR CHOICE - No one can run us off. I decided I needed this board so I stayed, and also I felt I owed the newcomers s'thing as I had been helped.
I try and help them, if only one, it makes me happy. It helped me so much to read success stories, showed me that it could be done. Also, sometimes after we have been around a little or a long while, we may need to ask for help. I feel that's what this board is all about.
Love to all,
Jean
