Well, it has been awhile since I posted, but my stepson is still in jail. His attorney and the DA are trying to reach a deal to present to the judge. The possession(crack) charge probably will be dropped (1st offense/too small a quantity).
Evading arrest is being STRONGLY pursued by the DA, and burglary of habitation is the one the attorney is worried about in regards to how the judge may sentence him. Attorney feels probation, mandatory rehab and atleast 5 year probabtion is eminent and if he messes up ONE time to the pen he goes.
In the meantime my ss is going on his third week in jail and is showing the same signs (calling collect-11 times yesterday,having other inmates call for him to ask questions, begging) as when he had only been in for 6 days. My husband, his parents, his sister have all been to visit and said he looks great. But, when it comes to his father and grandfather speaking with him, he will not take "No, we are not getting you out now" for an answer and it really is starting to take a toll on them. My husband talked to him once yesterday (we would not accept the following 10 c.calls) and it was the same story and he ended the conversation by saying "thanks alot dad!".
I have tried to convey to my husband IF (hypothetically speaking) someone got him out prior to sentencing and before rehab, in which he has never stayed, the psychological craving that "myeyestell" spoke of, will happen and he will cave.
He says he wants to go the rehab, but yet when asked where he would stay if he got out.....He listed his old friends..he just doesn't get it, because he doesn't have the "mental ammunition" to deal with the real world if he doesn't go the rehab first! My husbands mind is mush right now, regardless of how much he reads. I just wish he would turn things over (alot easier said than done).
I just needed to vent..... but by the way one bright note is that my husband volunteered to sing a solo in church for Easter Sunday "The Old Rugged Cross"! That makes me soooo happy.
I can tell you from personal experience that if your stepson doesn't go straight to a drug rehab program chances are that he will end up locked up again.
I think the system doesn't help addicts get the help they need. I know when my b/f was locked up I tried to get him into a drug program inside the prison I even wrote to the judge that handled his case...
Once out I went through the phone book but the drug programs that are available only take people who have insurance,
Whatever you do please get him help cause once he's out you have no control over the situation.
Good luck!
I think the system doesn't help addicts get the help they need. I know when my b/f was locked up I tried to get him into a drug program inside the prison I even wrote to the judge that handled his case...
Once out I went through the phone book but the drug programs that are available only take people who have insurance,
Whatever you do please get him help cause once he's out you have no control over the situation.
Good luck!
Marie...you are exactly right. I have tried to educate the family on what crack addiction does to a person and the addicts family. They just aren't following how bad this addiction is! They feel that as long as he knows if messes up just ONCE that he will go to pen is enough of a deterant to keep him out of trouble/smoking crack. Their minds do not think the same as ours.
We to have a 9 month rehab in TX that is within the prison system, but we found out that is under funded and has cut this from some of the prisons.
Thank you for responding, I am just having a hard time w/ feeling like the rest of the family is wanting to cover their eyes about this problem. I am an only child (raised "it is our way or the highway" type parents-they are great!), I have no children of my on, and unfortunately when I met my husband my ss was 16 and already involved in marijuana. Wish we could have met when he was a child, who knows!?
We to have a 9 month rehab in TX that is within the prison system, but we found out that is under funded and has cut this from some of the prisons.
Thank you for responding, I am just having a hard time w/ feeling like the rest of the family is wanting to cover their eyes about this problem. I am an only child (raised "it is our way or the highway" type parents-they are great!), I have no children of my on, and unfortunately when I met my husband my ss was 16 and already involved in marijuana. Wish we could have met when he was a child, who knows!?
cherise, thanks for checking in here. with what is at risk if your ss is released, serious consideration should be given to leaving him where he is.
if you are in Texas, the Texas system will have no further patience with him if he uses and gets caught in a problem situation. with his history, the probability of his getting into further legal difficulties is not only extremely high, but virtually certain.
the family should know that he is currently like a mental patient who is not in control of his faculties. he has no control over his activities because the mental obsession is just too strong -- overwhelming actually. regardless of how good he looks or how straight he is speaking, he has no control. regardless of what he says or what buttons he is pushing with family members -- sympathy, guilt, etc. -- he is not in control of his mental faculties.
you husband's family sounds like very nice, caring people. but the reality here is that your ss is very sick. very sick. he really needs to be treated as a family would treat a mental patient right now.
soothing family feelings and all is not what is necessary. like dealing with a very small child, decisions have to be made by the family -- and his best interests have to be determined. he can't make decisions for himself right now. decisions have to be made for him.
Sunday evening now...........thank you Bob B. and Marie for words of wisdom/strength.
Bob, I read in one of your earlier post that you lit a candle for the addicts and their families in Church one day last week. What a difference God makes! This has made the second Sunday I have attended service at our local Church and I have been able to speak to my husband with soooo much more confidence and strength than when I do not attend.
We have not heard from my ss this weekend. I have called the jail earlier and spoke to a captain.........nothing had changed.
I ask for all of you that read this tonight (Sunday) through next Sunday...please say a prayer for all of our youth. On the Texas coast is Spring Break, we already..in one week have had FOUR kids O.D. on our (very small) peninsula.
Bob, I read in one of your earlier post that you lit a candle for the addicts and their families in Church one day last week. What a difference God makes! This has made the second Sunday I have attended service at our local Church and I have been able to speak to my husband with soooo much more confidence and strength than when I do not attend.
We have not heard from my ss this weekend. I have called the jail earlier and spoke to a captain.........nothing had changed.
I ask for all of you that read this tonight (Sunday) through next Sunday...please say a prayer for all of our youth. On the Texas coast is Spring Break, we already..in one week have had FOUR kids O.D. on our (very small) peninsula.
yes, cherise, the God that we serve is a good and gracious God. and he fills us with his spirit when we turn to Him.
yes, the youth need our prayers and counsel. i have 3 children between the ages of 21 and 25. still recovering from their teen years. the challenges and the things they are exposed to these days are just about overwhelming. the overdoses are not surprising, all things considered. one at a time, one day at a time.
and yet, the children are our future. and most of them are full of hope, energy and a gusto for life.
yes, gathering in the "assembly" helps. and quiet prayer in solitude helps also --I'm a contemplative at heart, i suppose.
hope your husband's family is mustering the courage to deal with the addiction. you are in my prayers.