I smoked weed daily for 5 years. I started smoking to help with depression, and it worked really well for the first two years. I thought I had found the miracle drug. Then the last three years I started to isolate myself. Lost all my friends, lost my job because all I wanted to do was get high. I was becoming weirder and weider, I didn't make sense anymore when I would talk to people. I was losing my mind so I had to quit. I thought after I quit my brain would go back to normal. Its been 7 months since I quit. After quitting I became very derpessed, loss of motivation in everything. No motivation to live life. Loss of interest in everything and I lost my sense of humor and my personality, lost my job everything. So I quit 7 months ago, I thought all this would pass and I would get back to normal again and have motivation again and my sense of humor back and be back to normal. But I'm not, I still feel like I felt when I first quit. How long does it take for the brain to get back to normal. I just want my life back. I feel like my life is completely ruined.
Hey,
I'd love to say it gets better... I've been not smoking and sober for 15 months now. I'm still a mess, but a much better mess. At the bottom of my addiction I was miserable, much the way you are describing. I'm still miserable. But sometimes less so and sometimes I'm bright and shiny. The later is less so though I'm afraid. I'm on an emotional roller coaster at all times, never really knowing what is going to set me off. That first year is HELL. I've done it 3 times now. Please don't give up.
I know that my brain is messed up now. I know this is why I am having such trouble. I desperately smoked weed every day at least 5 x a day for 15 years (with two other stints of a year of sobriety) that I'm not counting in the 15. Each of those times I went back out. I wasn't convinced that weed was bad for me. It often made me feel so good (well for 15-20 min anyway). And in this day and age its so alluring with it becoming legal everywhere and everyone saying how not addictive it is. I wish I had before and after scans of my brain. I used to be pretty smart and well functioning... played sports, was a good student. I'd like to show young people. I want them to know the kind of roulette they might be playing.
I believe that it doesn't effect everyone the way it does me. Most people don't get addicted to alcohol... but some do. Weed is so elusive... very hard to tell that its is causing harm. It's not like shooting an eightball you know? I knew it was a problem for me about 3 years into daily smoking. My brain felt huge inside my head... pressing against my skull. Inside I felt so incredibly bad that those 15-20 minutes of pleasure were worth the next 12 years of my life. Man that sucks.
Anyway, I didn't mean to get into all that. I really just wanted to reach out to you. To tell you to hang in there. That the clean and sober life is for sure better than the other. I won't go back. Not ever. I'd really rather just die. At least I have a chance for things to improve on this side of the fence.
Please take care.
I'd love to say it gets better... I've been not smoking and sober for 15 months now. I'm still a mess, but a much better mess. At the bottom of my addiction I was miserable, much the way you are describing. I'm still miserable. But sometimes less so and sometimes I'm bright and shiny. The later is less so though I'm afraid. I'm on an emotional roller coaster at all times, never really knowing what is going to set me off. That first year is HELL. I've done it 3 times now. Please don't give up.
I know that my brain is messed up now. I know this is why I am having such trouble. I desperately smoked weed every day at least 5 x a day for 15 years (with two other stints of a year of sobriety) that I'm not counting in the 15. Each of those times I went back out. I wasn't convinced that weed was bad for me. It often made me feel so good (well for 15-20 min anyway). And in this day and age its so alluring with it becoming legal everywhere and everyone saying how not addictive it is. I wish I had before and after scans of my brain. I used to be pretty smart and well functioning... played sports, was a good student. I'd like to show young people. I want them to know the kind of roulette they might be playing.
I believe that it doesn't effect everyone the way it does me. Most people don't get addicted to alcohol... but some do. Weed is so elusive... very hard to tell that its is causing harm. It's not like shooting an eightball you know? I knew it was a problem for me about 3 years into daily smoking. My brain felt huge inside my head... pressing against my skull. Inside I felt so incredibly bad that those 15-20 minutes of pleasure were worth the next 12 years of my life. Man that sucks.
Anyway, I didn't mean to get into all that. I really just wanted to reach out to you. To tell you to hang in there. That the clean and sober life is for sure better than the other. I won't go back. Not ever. I'd really rather just die. At least I have a chance for things to improve on this side of the fence.
Please take care.
You are completely worth it Ben. You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. It may take a few years to get completely healthy and get your spring back in your feet but it will happen and it will be worth all the hard work! You can have a very bright and peaceful future if you really want it because there is so much life (out there and also inside of you) to enjoy.
Cheer up, it will take time to recover and you need to divert your attention to some activities that would make you calm, excited and happy. You have all the time in the world to achieve your goals. Dont lose hope. If let your self down, you will never get through this so have the positive attitude and do the work. I wish you the best luck.
