Withdrawl Day 21

Well I finally think I experienced a few minutes of a peaceful mind. Unfortunatly the shakiness is back. Is that normal? I did my breathing and made some camamile tea, hope it helps. And I really hope the calm feeling comes back soon. It was such a relief to not think about it for a minute. I hope it gets better and better from here. I am never turning back, ever. I hope the person who posted the week by week symptoms will post again, they are just ahead of me and it was VERY helpful. You guys are all helping me so much. Today I feel like I'm going to live.
llh,

The calm moments come and go, but you should be having more of them as time goes on and your body heals.

Tea is always a good idea. LOL, I drank gallons of it through detox (but not black tea -- find something non-caffeinated, as you did today).

You're sounding much better today and getting out and doing something to take yourself out of your own head was an excellent idea.

Congratulations! Is this day 21? You're doing grand.

Love,
Gina
Hi llh...
Congrats on making it to day 21 and those glimpse of peace do get better everyday, longer and then for me, the serenity came...For me, it was around the 21 day mark that most of the physical symptoms started going away and I started to sleep and feel good during the day....This last time around, the 4 week mark things were much brighter and that's when I decided I didn't want to risk a relapse so I went and sought f2f support like so many with years of clean time suggested....

You are doing awesome! Thanks for sharing...you are in my prayers....

Take care,
Stacey
Thanks you guys......I just had a little episode of anxiousness, I could tell my heart was racing. Did the breathing, This will end right?? I know it won't just be gone all the sudden, but will I feel majorly better soon? Man I hope so I don't lke going backward. I cleaned out my refrigerator, that was a good distraction.

I am so happy to hear that day 21 was a stage for someone, I need to hear that it could be any time now. Thanks again.
Hi llh...
QUOTE
This will end right??


Yes, sweetie, it'll end....be patient, when it happens do your breathing and think calming thoughts....I remember praying & also repeating over & over in my head "baby steps" and I did the best I could do that day, didn't use and made it through the day....

You cleaned out the fridge, that is huge....I remember going grocery shopping and could barely load the groceries when I was done because I was so exhausted but it wasn't soon after that, my energy started to return and the nervousness started to disappear....

(((hugs))))
Stacey
YES...thats what I need to hear. thanks Stacey
I don't feel as good as I thought I did : ( Anyone else want to tell me about day 21 for them? I could use some more happy stories about how great this is going to be..
I could only wish that 21st day would come...you are envied by both those who've quit and those who haven't made it there yet. If nothing else, I hope letting you know that will help you proceed to success.


your doing great, just think of all the toxins that have left your body....

keep going.....
your are doing the RIGHT thing for your life.........

God Bless you

thumper
IIh,

I am just wondering how we can help it sink in that everything you are feeling is normal. The good, the bad, the anxious, the peaceful, the depression, the euphoria.

What else can we tell you that will help you really understand that it's all normal, and the more you get yourself worked up, the worse you will feel.

Does that make sense, IIh?

Are you seeing a therapist at all?

SP
thanks you guys. I hope all this feaking out I am doing is just another symptom of the withdrawl. I know it is worse for me because I am doing it alone at home, but that is the way I want it. I never ever want to take another one of those stupid pills, I just want my life back. I know you are all probably getting tired of reassuring me all the time, but It is litterally keeping me going. My husband will be back in 3 days and then I will have some support again. I feel really alone and even though Its by choice I just get scared. thanks for posting to me. Sp I am glad to hear from you again. L
Also SP you are a nurse right....would you be on tomorrow ,so I could ask you a question about tapering ativan? I am ready to stop taking it at night. All I have been taking is 1mg at night so I could get some sleep. But now I am scared to just stop. I know we talked about it before but I want to do it with the least stress to my body. so I wondered what you think. I am only taking it at night never in the day I have been breathing through my anxiety and just taking it to sleep. So go down to 1/2 for 3 days the 1/4 for a couple. would that be safe. This is just one more thing stressing me out and I don't need that right now. Thanks for caring about me. L
llh, you will feel better soon. You are doing so well. Anxiety was hard for me as well; I think your brain was subdued for so long and it is getting back to the normal state.

Exersize really helped me with that. It got the endorphines going and helped me feel better faster.

This is worth it; getting your life back is going to take some time, but you will get there.

IIh,

I will post to you tomorrow about the ativan thing (tis bedtime). It shouldn't be that big of a deal at all -- you really haven't been on it for so long and your dose isn't that high. But since I know that you are worried about this we can just go the wicked safe route. How's that sound?

I'm glad your hubs is coming home.... You really need some good support (I mean, this is one thing, but you know what I mean)...

SP
Hey,

I also think you should post on the "What makes you happy..." thread. It's really nice to reflect on that to remind us that yes, the world isn't ending and even just the little things are sometimes enough to help us get by.

I think is might be a really good distraction for you, and maybe even a way to center yourself a bit. It definitely just helped me...

SP





lil
I have been there as has so many of us. This time last year I was terrified that I would never get off of the drug that I knew was killing me, one mg and one day at a time. Then in September after a very bad bout of depression that I had never had before and knew was related to my methadone use, I made a bold move and started the Buprinorphine with out tapering my methadone and with out being in any wds whatsoever. I wanted off that methadone and I knew it could be bad as far as wds go but I had no idea. If I took all 12 of my cold turkey's from percs and hydros and rolled them into one and then multiplied that by 1,000,000 then that was what the first 24 hours were like. Every muscle in my body cramped at once. For 24 hours, I was one big Charley Horse.

The next few days was rough. I do not regret doing it the way I did, although I do not recommend it. To go from methadone to Bupe is the hardest of transitions compared to all other opiates. According to protocol, I should have tapered to 30mgs or less and then stopped 36-48 hours prior to making the switch from the methadone to the Bupe. I was on 400mg/day and I did not want to be on methadone any longer, especially for the length of time it would have taken me to go slowly from 400mg down to 30mgs. I had also ran out of methadone before and after 24 hours it was hell, so I also had that to look foward to when and if I got down to 30mgs. I reasoned that if I could just taper that easily and stop for 48 hours, I probably would not be the addict I had been all those years. I decided I had rather been in severe wds for a shorter period of time than be in moderate wds for the whole time I was tapering.

This applies to you. You have cold turkey'd and not tapered which IMO is the fastest way to get any wd syndrome behind you. Since you were on oxys and hydros you should at any moment( I would have thought so already but everybody is different) be standing in the light. If you can muster up the desire and energy to clean the refigerator then trust me, you have one foot in the light already. My problem is I could not stay clean, hence the methadone maintenance therapy. Methadone has helped a lot of people and helped me in the beginning but it soon became obvious to me that I had been conned. I replaced one opiate that was easier to get off for the hardest of all opaites to get off.

You are on day 21 and the end is near. I have been off of methadone for 5 months today and I am still in some mild wds, even while on Bupe. As it concerns wds, you are never alone. There is always someone out here that is even with you, ahead of you and for sure, after a long 21 days, would give anything if they were presently where you are.

Hang in there. I wish you all the best. You are almost at one month with no oxys or hydros. If you only knew how many people do not make it as far as you have. Don't ever forget, like I did, what these last, slow moving days have been like for you. You never have to repeat them.
JW
L
I just wanted to drop you a note and tell you I feel for how bad you are having it. I know though that it must end soon. It does sound like you are having some breakthru moments of good. I think God only gives us what we can handle and He is making sure you remember the hell that it took you to quit!!! So hopefully this will stay with you and you won't use again. The w/ds do suck for me too but it is the 3-6 months time of being clean that I have always stuggled with. Always thinking I could use again just a little. I know I can't. I just wanted to say hi and hang in there
Roxy
Thanks everyone.
Morning llh...
How are you doing today? I understand the anxiety as I had it for awhile, I just had to reassure myself I wasn't dying and that everyday would get better and I hung on until it did....

I too did CT at home but I had to return to work on day 5 but I think that was a blessing in diguise because I had to show up & fake it until I actually did start feeling better physically....For me, around week 3 I started making lists of things I wanted to get done (at work and home) so I wouldn't forget (my mind was foggy) and at the end of the day, I checked off what I did get done and it helped so much to see myself accomplishing anything....

It is a slow process but so worth it and one day soon you'll be on the other side of the fence....

Thinking of you....
(((hugs))))
Stacey
Thanks Stacey. If I could just eat it would help.