Honey i cant find the PAWS test you bumped up for me..
Am I blind????
Hugs,
Ali
I will do it again...watch the top of the threads...click on view new posts..
dear ali ~
i was thinking about you earlier today, wondering how you are doing. here's a link that describes post acute withdrawal in detail. be sure you click on the second page at the bottom to continue reading:
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
ali - post acute withdrawal is something that happens when we have ceased taking mood altering substances. you have tapered quickly from some very high doses. i would think you are still are in the acute stage of withdrawal and am a bit concerned for your health. have you had a chance to get yourself checked out by a medical doctor?
the emotional symptoms you are writing about are pretty par for the course for where you are in the detox process. i hope you are ok, dear ali. you deserve to live a life that is happy, joyous, and free.
God bless you, dear one -
sammy
i was thinking about you earlier today, wondering how you are doing. here's a link that describes post acute withdrawal in detail. be sure you click on the second page at the bottom to continue reading:
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
ali - post acute withdrawal is something that happens when we have ceased taking mood altering substances. you have tapered quickly from some very high doses. i would think you are still are in the acute stage of withdrawal and am a bit concerned for your health. have you had a chance to get yourself checked out by a medical doctor?
the emotional symptoms you are writing about are pretty par for the course for where you are in the detox process. i hope you are ok, dear ali. you deserve to live a life that is happy, joyous, and free.
God bless you, dear one -
sammy
Ali,
The PAWS post is over on the Friends/Family board.
The PAWS post is over on the Friends/Family board.
Thankyou so much...all of you..will check it out.
Sammy, I have to go to my Dr soon..Ive been taking my blood pressure and its only a little higher than normal....Im so proud of myself I am looking forward to seeing my Dr. and letting him know how Im doing...only hes not a warm and fuzzy guy and doesnt have time to talk..he keeps a laptop on his lap and types while you talk which ususally flusters me...lol
About a month ago...my bone pain stopped and I was so happy about that and then I realized how badly i still need the pills...even though i wasnt in pain, I literally couldnt function.....my leg or arm kept shooting out, I was sweating, anxious and MAD....I knew I had been using the for emotions as well as pain and was mad at myself big time.....this was a moment Id ben praying for, the pain was gone and I wasnt able to appreciate it.....I flushed my pills down the toilet in a moment of both gratitude and false bravado.
The following day i was jerking so bad i went to see the dr, was white, crying and shaking....( but no bone pain) the Dr. was pissed at me, said I WASNT addicted and was tolerant...saw no signs of addiciton. Ive told this beofre so dont want to bore you with the rest of the conversation....but suffice to say
I stuck to my guns and said i wanted off the pills, want to take advantage of this here and now. ( no pain issue)
He sent me home with minimal long acting pills...wanted me back in 4 days.....tried them only one day but felt worse then ever...went back and he gave me my usual short acting ones....I felt like such an idiot....such a whiner...
But i asked for 100 less than normal...i told him that if i got the usual amount I would feel like such a loser...he obliged....
I still have that bottle and its half full...normally it would have been gone by now.
I have such gratitude to God and to all those that have helped me.
my heart is full.
Anyway...I will go to him, but think I might need to see a PAWS specialist about the emotional problems Im having.....Im confuse because this inability to complete ANYTHING has been with me BEFORE i started the big drop in dosage and taper...started i think a month or 2...maybe 3 months before.
i really am scared that I have killed some brain cells. i have never procrastinated and or avoided and isolated myself like this before...Its worst than anything Ive ever imagined....OVERWHELMED and cant make my brain finish anything............even simple things like opening the mail and paying a bill.
Sorry to run on like that...I pray this is temporary and i have not permanently altered my brain.........it wasnt a great one before but it worked enough to make me complete things..lolol
I can and will tolerate the physical w/d...its the mental that is starting to cripple me.
Sorry to everyone, Im spending too much time talking about myself...Mia colpa...mia colpa...mia massima colpa,....lolol
Hugs to all,
Ali
Sammy, I have to go to my Dr soon..Ive been taking my blood pressure and its only a little higher than normal....Im so proud of myself I am looking forward to seeing my Dr. and letting him know how Im doing...only hes not a warm and fuzzy guy and doesnt have time to talk..he keeps a laptop on his lap and types while you talk which ususally flusters me...lol
About a month ago...my bone pain stopped and I was so happy about that and then I realized how badly i still need the pills...even though i wasnt in pain, I literally couldnt function.....my leg or arm kept shooting out, I was sweating, anxious and MAD....I knew I had been using the for emotions as well as pain and was mad at myself big time.....this was a moment Id ben praying for, the pain was gone and I wasnt able to appreciate it.....I flushed my pills down the toilet in a moment of both gratitude and false bravado.
The following day i was jerking so bad i went to see the dr, was white, crying and shaking....( but no bone pain) the Dr. was pissed at me, said I WASNT addicted and was tolerant...saw no signs of addiciton. Ive told this beofre so dont want to bore you with the rest of the conversation....but suffice to say
I stuck to my guns and said i wanted off the pills, want to take advantage of this here and now. ( no pain issue)
He sent me home with minimal long acting pills...wanted me back in 4 days.....tried them only one day but felt worse then ever...went back and he gave me my usual short acting ones....I felt like such an idiot....such a whiner...
But i asked for 100 less than normal...i told him that if i got the usual amount I would feel like such a loser...he obliged....
I still have that bottle and its half full...normally it would have been gone by now.
I have such gratitude to God and to all those that have helped me.
my heart is full.
Anyway...I will go to him, but think I might need to see a PAWS specialist about the emotional problems Im having.....Im confuse because this inability to complete ANYTHING has been with me BEFORE i started the big drop in dosage and taper...started i think a month or 2...maybe 3 months before.
i really am scared that I have killed some brain cells. i have never procrastinated and or avoided and isolated myself like this before...Its worst than anything Ive ever imagined....OVERWHELMED and cant make my brain finish anything............even simple things like opening the mail and paying a bill.
Sorry to run on like that...I pray this is temporary and i have not permanently altered my brain.........it wasnt a great one before but it worked enough to make me complete things..lolol
I can and will tolerate the physical w/d...its the mental that is starting to cripple me.
Sorry to everyone, Im spending too much time talking about myself...Mia colpa...mia colpa...mia massima colpa,....lolol
Hugs to all,
Ali
dear ali ~
what a great idea you have to see your doctor and getting some support emotionally - wow - i tried to prove to myself over and over and over again that i could do this alone. there was absolutely no reason why i should do go this alone except my big fat ego kept getting in my way.
my feelings would vascillate between those of false pride - too proud to admit that there was nothing i couldn't do to feelings of being less than...feeling i didn't deserve to live life drug free. talk about an emotional roller coaster! i didn't have a clue as to who i was and worse than being clueless, i didn't care for a long to time to discover myself. it has taken a whole lot of help in the way of physical, emotional, and spiritual support, that today i'm so grateful for asking for it.
this sense/perception that i have of you ali is that there is a beautiful, brilliant, talented, loving woman just bursting to break loose and free from this chain of addiction. please know if there is anything i can do to support you, i'm an email away.
much love and tons of encouragement to you, ali ~
sammy
dsam2u@comcast.net
what a great idea you have to see your doctor and getting some support emotionally - wow - i tried to prove to myself over and over and over again that i could do this alone. there was absolutely no reason why i should do go this alone except my big fat ego kept getting in my way.
my feelings would vascillate between those of false pride - too proud to admit that there was nothing i couldn't do to feelings of being less than...feeling i didn't deserve to live life drug free. talk about an emotional roller coaster! i didn't have a clue as to who i was and worse than being clueless, i didn't care for a long to time to discover myself. it has taken a whole lot of help in the way of physical, emotional, and spiritual support, that today i'm so grateful for asking for it.
this sense/perception that i have of you ali is that there is a beautiful, brilliant, talented, loving woman just bursting to break loose and free from this chain of addiction. please know if there is anything i can do to support you, i'm an email away.
much love and tons of encouragement to you, ali ~
sammy
dsam2u@comcast.net
Nobody should have to do this alone. We need support to survive, just like we need food, water and air. The best thing I have done for myself is getting my addiction out in the open. What a relief!
