Well, I feel a bit guilty consulting people whose problems are undoubtedly more restrictive than mine.. However, lately I've been scaring myself. I'm 18 years old and have been drinking for four years. Two years ago, I got in with a circle of friends who range from 20-28, all of whom consume alcohol frequently. I can now outdrink everyone of these heavy drinkers. Being in with this crowd raised my drinking from three times a week to every day. I drink either 18 beers or the majority of a fifth of 40%. I was never in control of my buzz, always wanting to obtain higher levels until I would eventually pass out or get sick. This past year, however, I've yet to do either one despite the fact I'm drinking MUCH more than I would crash at previously levels. This leads me to my next problem - I've been making the worst decisions of my life in the times I should be unconcious, making a complete a** out of myself, and ruining almost every friendship I have (outside of my few remaining drinking buddies). I don't remember half of what I've done in the past few months, I just know from what I'm told. I've driven without even knowing I did it, punched 10 holes in my mothers wall and put my head through it, and last night I was walking around my apartment complex after heavy consumption. I walked up to a group of people and was too drunk to realize they were threatening me. After a few minutes they all starting attacking me, and I walked away beaten and confused.. falling on the hoods of peoples cars. I can't currently find my car keys and am stranded. I do similar things almost every day. I don't know what to do, alcohol is something I use to forget my troubles and all it does is create more of them. I just need to know, can it be that I have some level of addiction? And if so, could it be the cause of my new antisocial behavior?
JLF,
Please seek help. I am 34 with 20 odd years of being addicted and it is not fun.
I have made the choice that tomorrow I am going to go to an AA meeting.
Yep I am scared by the whole process, but I want my life back. The whole black out thing, scares me.
I would love love to wake up knowing exactly what I did and said the night before. No more catching up with friends and forgetting the things we spoke about whilst trying to hold it together.
I have hit a real bad place with drinking, which has resulted in huge panic attacks and anxiety attacks, which believe me are horrific.
Please if you can, get help. I will think of you tomorrow when I do my AA meeting, because tomorrow I will try my hardest to do sobriety.
Do not waste 20 years of your life being told by your mates that you do not have a problem, when you know in your heart that you really do.
I wish you well and I wish that I had had the courage 20 years ago to say enough is enough.
Please seek help. I am 34 with 20 odd years of being addicted and it is not fun.
I have made the choice that tomorrow I am going to go to an AA meeting.
Yep I am scared by the whole process, but I want my life back. The whole black out thing, scares me.
I would love love to wake up knowing exactly what I did and said the night before. No more catching up with friends and forgetting the things we spoke about whilst trying to hold it together.
I have hit a real bad place with drinking, which has resulted in huge panic attacks and anxiety attacks, which believe me are horrific.
Please if you can, get help. I will think of you tomorrow when I do my AA meeting, because tomorrow I will try my hardest to do sobriety.
Do not waste 20 years of your life being told by your mates that you do not have a problem, when you know in your heart that you really do.
I wish you well and I wish that I had had the courage 20 years ago to say enough is enough.
Your tolerance is at an increased level, you are experiencing black-outs and are most likely starting the process of breaking down your liver...it starts with enlargement, fatty liver and then eventually cirrohsis. Also, pancreatitis (either acute and chronic) can take place, with gall bladder problems...how do I know because I drank like you do...ignored the emotional symptoms that you are experiencing (thought I was a functioning drunk) and finally hit a physical, emotional and spiritual bottom that you cannot believe. I work a 12 step program which is saving my life one day at a time. Sounds like your drinking may have stopped working for you, not sure but just guessing?
Hi I am Bri and i am a recovering alcoholic/addict. Your story sounds similar to mine... i use to drink until i was sick... there was never a time i could stop drinking when i had enough. I made a big fool of myself many times in public... passing out in the restroom- while i was still on the toilet... falling on peoples tables as i was being escorted out... the list goes on. When i first went into recovery it was for pain meds. The longer i attended AA meetings the more i realized that i was also an alcoholic. I thought it was normal to pass out and to black out every time you drank. But, it's definitely not normal. I would suggest checking out some AA meetings and listening to their stories... definitely try going to a speaker meeting. This may help you in deciding whether you are an alcoholic or not.
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
