..The old bill nicked ya for..mine was a box of mars bars that i nicked outta the youth club when i was about 17..there was about 12 in the box.They (the police) was gonna do me for robbery haha!! laughable..but just kicked me outta the station a couple of hours later..i was just reading tinmans escapades with the razors so thought i'd throw this in ?..Robbie..
..Edit to say..Might seem strange that sumone called the old bill just for a box of mars bars being nicked..but lets just say me and my mates emptied the canteen of its goods..but i had a box of mars bars under me arm when the old bill collared me..
Robbie,
I am smiling big time...
And I can't help but ask do you even like mars bars?
I think the oddest of incidents I had with the police was getting tossed in the back of the patrol car, read the riot act and hauled home cause I was hanging upside down from the top of a swing set...
Still blows my mind...
Lovin your signature, you write that yourself...If you did I hope you don't mind me copying it and saving it cause I love the message...
Have a great day!,
Love,
Tina
I am smiling big time...
And I can't help but ask do you even like mars bars?
I think the oddest of incidents I had with the police was getting tossed in the back of the patrol car, read the riot act and hauled home cause I was hanging upside down from the top of a swing set...
Still blows my mind...
Lovin your signature, you write that yourself...If you did I hope you don't mind me copying it and saving it cause I love the message...
Have a great day!,
Love,
Tina
..Alrite Tina..
..Yeh i don't mind a mars bar or two..i was happily munching on one when they pulled me over :).. " Tossed into a patrol car "--" Hanging upside down on a swing set " haha!!..wudda loved to of seen that on the tv programme cops :)..i
got that signature from a lyric from a song called > One Day, the verve..i think i listed it when i sent ya an email with the verves songs a while back, i can't remember..
but cheers all the same..nice to see ya post, it mad me laugh :)..take care..
..Robbie..
..Yeh i don't mind a mars bar or two..i was happily munching on one when they pulled me over :).. " Tossed into a patrol car "--" Hanging upside down on a swing set " haha!!..wudda loved to of seen that on the tv programme cops :)..i
got that signature from a lyric from a song called > One Day, the verve..i think i listed it when i sent ya an email with the verves songs a while back, i can't remember..
but cheers all the same..nice to see ya post, it mad me laugh :)..take care..
..Robbie..
I gotta say I have been nicked for a vast amount of hilariously stupid things...
- A B/L/T Sandwhich from a BP Garage : Value 1.95 result : Conditional Discharge
- 2 Legs Of Lamb from Sainsburies : Value 8.97 each : Result - 1 month imprisonment - yeah REALLY!
- Wrigleys Chewing Gum (Various Types) Value : 87.65 aprx. Result - 2 months imprisonment (That was a hell ov a lot of gum lol)
Can Anybody beat that ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ???
I can go on. But i wont as its just TOO darn embarasing!!
The police really dont know what to do with there time do they ??
Oh also I got arrested a little while ago now, i was drunk, an i started shouting abuse at some doormen at a wetherspoons pub (not a good move as there were 4 of them an one (drunken) me) - I got arreseted for calling them "Essex boy Wan*ers" an other such terrible profanities ....what a joke the police are in this country !!!
See YA
TINMAN
- A B/L/T Sandwhich from a BP Garage : Value 1.95 result : Conditional Discharge
- 2 Legs Of Lamb from Sainsburies : Value 8.97 each : Result - 1 month imprisonment - yeah REALLY!
- Wrigleys Chewing Gum (Various Types) Value : 87.65 aprx. Result - 2 months imprisonment (That was a hell ov a lot of gum lol)
Can Anybody beat that ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ???
I can go on. But i wont as its just TOO darn embarasing!!
The police really dont know what to do with there time do they ??
Oh also I got arrested a little while ago now, i was drunk, an i started shouting abuse at some doormen at a wetherspoons pub (not a good move as there were 4 of them an one (drunken) me) - I got arreseted for calling them "Essex boy Wan*ers" an other such terrible profanities ....what a joke the police are in this country !!!
See YA
TINMAN
I've always escaped being arrested but the silliest run in with the police was when I was 13. I was approached by 2 policemen who were patroling the park. They took my cigarettes and said if they ever caught me smoking again, they'd send me to Juvie. They informed me that they were going to call my parents. I sat by the phone for 3 days in anticipation of intercepting the call....which never came. It kept me off the streets for an entire weekend though!
At 15, I was with a bunch of friends and we climbed the fence to a football game. The cops found me wedged between the fence and the hedge, helplessly caught on the chain link. My friends? Well, they all jammed and left me hangin' there. They were so busy threatening to leave me there that they didn't smell the Boones Farm Strawberry Hill on my breath.
Later that night, we were driving around trying to find a party and the Strawberry Hill caught up with me. We pulled over behind a pizza parlor so I could do my business ( I didn't want to go inside because I was too drunk and didn't want to call attention to myself. Well, the same cops from the football game thought they'd better check out the goings on behind the dumpster only to find that it was just me...peeing. Oh lord! I even surprised myself by how fast I could think up a good lie with my pants down around my ankles.
When I got caught peeing in the cemetary, I'd said that I'd had a bad dream about my Gramma and just HAD to come and visit her grave. I said the boy hiding behind the tree was my cousin whom I'd called in the middle of the night to drive me out there. The cops didn't know that my Gramma was alive and well in S. Dakota and my closest cousin was in Nebraska. They didn't bother to check out my "cousins" car either. They'd have found a beer can on wheels!
At 16, at 2:30AM, I was stopped going the wrong way on a one way street....twice!. I told the cops I was from a few towns over, trying to find my aunts new house. They asked me if I'd been drinking. Noooooo, of course not!!! I didn't even have to lie that time. They never asked me if I was high on chocolate Mescaline! After the second time, they asked for the address to my "aunts" house and they were kind enough to lead me over there. Thank God the party was almost over and there were only a few stragglers in the house.
Boy, I'm glad those days are over!
At 15, I was with a bunch of friends and we climbed the fence to a football game. The cops found me wedged between the fence and the hedge, helplessly caught on the chain link. My friends? Well, they all jammed and left me hangin' there. They were so busy threatening to leave me there that they didn't smell the Boones Farm Strawberry Hill on my breath.
Later that night, we were driving around trying to find a party and the Strawberry Hill caught up with me. We pulled over behind a pizza parlor so I could do my business ( I didn't want to go inside because I was too drunk and didn't want to call attention to myself. Well, the same cops from the football game thought they'd better check out the goings on behind the dumpster only to find that it was just me...peeing. Oh lord! I even surprised myself by how fast I could think up a good lie with my pants down around my ankles.
When I got caught peeing in the cemetary, I'd said that I'd had a bad dream about my Gramma and just HAD to come and visit her grave. I said the boy hiding behind the tree was my cousin whom I'd called in the middle of the night to drive me out there. The cops didn't know that my Gramma was alive and well in S. Dakota and my closest cousin was in Nebraska. They didn't bother to check out my "cousins" car either. They'd have found a beer can on wheels!
At 16, at 2:30AM, I was stopped going the wrong way on a one way street....twice!. I told the cops I was from a few towns over, trying to find my aunts new house. They asked me if I'd been drinking. Noooooo, of course not!!! I didn't even have to lie that time. They never asked me if I was high on chocolate Mescaline! After the second time, they asked for the address to my "aunts" house and they were kind enough to lead me over there. Thank God the party was almost over and there were only a few stragglers in the house.
Boy, I'm glad those days are over!
Cheapo....Aldi vitamin tablets...when i was stoned with my bro...we did a runner but the asian security man was a real jobsworth....i ended up being chased up Mare st.Hackney by him...so i hid under a car...he found me (i was laughing that much)and tried to pull me out by the legs...my bro turned up and gave him a boot up the arse and off we went .....dunno why we even nicked them...not like we were on a health buzz or anything.ATB.......Davey
potato chips....but as you see I got away.....LOL. Seriously.....the silliest has to be erasible ink pens and yes I did get caught and BOY did they laugh at me. I was going for a more expensive pen sets but I was so high(drawing MAD attention to myself) I grabbed the wrong ones.......it was not funny then but man is it now.
Great stories guys thank God we've grown up. Gyac awsome video i cracked up. I all too well remember my early teen years with the boones farm you know now a days i can't even smell it without gaging that and mad dog 20/20 were the top cheap choice drunks of my youth.
Hard is it is to belive i've had several run ins with the cops i've even been in handcuffs but, I'VE never spent a single night in jail!. Yeah i'll be 30 I have no record at all.
I've been there at a drug raid of my house nothing was found to charge me with thou i had 3 needles and a spoon under the T.V not one foot from the cops. They were pulling up heating vents looking in the bathrooms they missed all of 7-10 needles a small bag of dope in the house where 4 addicts lived. Blows my mind they were looking so hard could not find anything but, some crack in my brothers pocket.
Funniest stories was my ex and i use to stand on the highways with a empty gas can bumming money "we had no car". We just got $28.00 in about 45 mins of being there "almost enought to score" i see this dealers car i hand the gas can to my ex hop in the car to get a bag of dope. Soon as i get in a cop stops my ex is giving him mouth about panhandling tells him it's against the law i'm right there scoring dope watching this cop having a fit over the ex bumming money he got a ticket and court date over it. So funny to see a cop getting all bent out of shape over a bum i'm scoring dope watching him. This dealers has 2 grams on him. That cop was to buzy fighting petty crime to even notice me.
So many stupid things i've done I must be a lucky chick i've got away with tons of stuff.
Hard is it is to belive i've had several run ins with the cops i've even been in handcuffs but, I'VE never spent a single night in jail!. Yeah i'll be 30 I have no record at all.
I've been there at a drug raid of my house nothing was found to charge me with thou i had 3 needles and a spoon under the T.V not one foot from the cops. They were pulling up heating vents looking in the bathrooms they missed all of 7-10 needles a small bag of dope in the house where 4 addicts lived. Blows my mind they were looking so hard could not find anything but, some crack in my brothers pocket.
Funniest stories was my ex and i use to stand on the highways with a empty gas can bumming money "we had no car". We just got $28.00 in about 45 mins of being there "almost enought to score" i see this dealers car i hand the gas can to my ex hop in the car to get a bag of dope. Soon as i get in a cop stops my ex is giving him mouth about panhandling tells him it's against the law i'm right there scoring dope watching this cop having a fit over the ex bumming money he got a ticket and court date over it. So funny to see a cop getting all bent out of shape over a bum i'm scoring dope watching him. This dealers has 2 grams on him. That cop was to buzy fighting petty crime to even notice me.
So many stupid things i've done I must be a lucky chick i've got away with tons of stuff.
I was pulled over about 5 years ago, figures when I got out I had platforms on and the cop stopped me on a slight incline, needless to say I did a bit of stumbling. I lied and told the cop I had only 2 drinks (like they hadn't heard that number before, actually it was ladies drink free and I probably had 8) and I had taken a Xanax during the day, but didn't realize it would affect me with the alcohol. Liar, liar, I took half a Xanax bar before I went out. Anyway, I had a really, really bad day at work and I started sobbing about it and going on and on. The cop ended up calling my husband to pick me up, he probably didn't want me whining and crying all over his back seat. That was the closest I ever came to a DUI. Whenever I went out drinking from then on, I went the back streets on the way home.
Ya pack of heathens!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER did I get nicked or arrested by a cop.......well that one time I was stupid enough to cop dope knowing something was amidst and they tackled me and I peed my pants........and I swallowed the dope and they swore they were taking me to get my stomach pumped......if ONLY you tell the TRUTH...we'll leave ya go.
Who tells cops the truth? Then they got fuming mad when they asked my name and social security number cause I go "Do I have to tell ya the truth? My real name and all?"
Bwwwwwwwwwwahhhhhhhhhhhahahahaha!
Man, I knew from being raised by a cop that they say if ya tell the truth they'll let ya off......he*l no they don't.
Bad, bad kids the lot of ya's........and Janet walks the line in platforms.
NEVER did I get nicked or arrested by a cop.......well that one time I was stupid enough to cop dope knowing something was amidst and they tackled me and I peed my pants........and I swallowed the dope and they swore they were taking me to get my stomach pumped......if ONLY you tell the TRUTH...we'll leave ya go.
Who tells cops the truth? Then they got fuming mad when they asked my name and social security number cause I go "Do I have to tell ya the truth? My real name and all?"
Bwwwwwwwwwwahhhhhhhhhhhahahahaha!
Man, I knew from being raised by a cop that they say if ya tell the truth they'll let ya off......he*l no they don't.
Bad, bad kids the lot of ya's........and Janet walks the line in platforms.
..Had to laugh when i read sum of the posts in ere..Darin,cool video of the bird ;)..ya gotta admire its thinking and the way it has a quick glance to the side before he swipes them and ups the pace as he trots outta the shop haha!!.nice one ;)..Robbie..
Robbie,
LOL! Ta....I had to post that because it reminded me of when I was out stealing....just like that bird I would glance and glide in....once I got what I needed I would speed it up and hightail it outta their. ATB!
LOL! Ta....I had to post that because it reminded me of when I was out stealing....just like that bird I would glance and glide in....once I got what I needed I would speed it up and hightail it outta their. ATB!
..Darin..
..Yeh for sure :)..i think the bird was a shoplifter in its previous life and still has'nt learned the error of his ways when he was reincarnated as a bird for his bad deeds he did in life heh! heh! ..ATB back atcha mate ;)..Robbie..
..Yeh for sure :)..i think the bird was a shoplifter in its previous life and still has'nt learned the error of his ways when he was reincarnated as a bird for his bad deeds he did in life heh! heh! ..ATB back atcha mate ;)..Robbie..
Christmas eve '99 going from london up to dundee for xmas, stole 500 diazepam and 100 DF's from my work the week before...so i'm on the train, who's sitting next to me? some forensic scientist. So, i'm a little worse for wear ( 20 blues and a bottle of vodka) and i'm telling my mate to meet me off the train as i need to sell some of these.... the forensic guy phones the polis as he heard idiot here on the dog n bone...
So, i'm on the phone to my wee mum telling her i just got off the train when..." kevin, ( the polis guy lifted me in '97) do you have any ....blah blah blah" xmas eve, xmas day, boxing day and the 27th i was in bell St...one of the turn keys gave me a cadburys rose ofr quality st on xmas day..'.i was pure gutted...feeling right sorry for myself.
It came out in court that i was " overheard" speaking on the phone... i must have been out my head...dafty. you learn from your mistakes though, eh? Just my luck.... a forensic sitting next to me..
Am sitting LMAO at the posts....quality!
So, i'm on the phone to my wee mum telling her i just got off the train when..." kevin, ( the polis guy lifted me in '97) do you have any ....blah blah blah" xmas eve, xmas day, boxing day and the 27th i was in bell St...one of the turn keys gave me a cadburys rose ofr quality st on xmas day..'.i was pure gutted...feeling right sorry for myself.
It came out in court that i was " overheard" speaking on the phone... i must have been out my head...dafty. you learn from your mistakes though, eh? Just my luck.... a forensic sitting next to me..
Am sitting LMAO at the posts....quality!
Ok....I thought about this one on my lunch break today.....back in the day I was at Saks5thAve. and at this particular time I had not"seen the doctor yet"....nose running, shaking like a leaf, and the feeling of my legs carrying 50lbs. weights. Well....I get in and grab 3 bottles of expensive perfume and like the bird above hit it to the door and made it outside.....YES I thought as I kept walking in the direction of the subway. I turned once and with no one behind me I slowed a few steps, turned around and 3 of the biggest security officers were on my heels. I tried to run(yes folks.....ill as a f'ing lab rat I tried to run.....HA)and made it cross the hill with the subway clear in site...as I looked down that hill I saw a welcoming committe of 2(LOL). I was walked back to their office and they sat me down to do their job and one of them said"sir you have good taste"....another followed right behind him and said"yeah but he has bad eye's cause these bottles are tagged fatice(dummy bottles filled with colored WATER).
I got pulled over after drinking long island teas all evening. He had me try to stand on 1 foot and touch my nose. I made him let me try 3 times. I kept assuring the officer that I could touch my nose with a little practice. Afterwards, I had to walk a straight line, which also to some practice runs. (not without a few stumbles) By this time there were 2 more cruisers there. He had called his buddies to join the fun. One of them asked to count to 10. I'm happy to say that I had that one down pat! Then he asked me to count down to 1..... I did it. Once again, after several practice runs. The entire time assuring them that I was an expert at this counting thing. Then one of those smart- a##,s told me to count to 10 in spanish! I did it, although it was my most difficult feat of the evening. Just standing erect was difficult! Finally, the cop tells me if I can count back down to 0 in Spanish, he'll announce me sober and allow me to drive away! I think I tried a few times and got to 8. I said, "just take my a## to jail. I'm getting tired!" While all this was going on, my roommate is setting in the car, trying to eat pizza. It's all over her! The cop followed me home. He told me to never drive again. Drunk or sober! I didn't even have a license. Of course, I assured him I could pass the test with a little practice! :) All true!
Okay, this is one of my silliest things. I've already told this one, so forgive me if it's a repeat.
I was sitting in Walmart parking lot, trying to find a good vein to stick my needle in and 2 Jehovah's Witnesses started heading towards me. They saw what I was doing and quickly made a beeline the other way.
I was sitting in Walmart parking lot, trying to find a good vein to stick my needle in and 2 Jehovah's Witnesses started heading towards me. They saw what I was doing and quickly made a beeline the other way.
Wow, I haven't thought about this in a while but these posts brought it all back.
Thanks for all the laughs.
I was 13 and stoned drunk. Passed out under a viaduct in Chicago. Two officers come rolling by in their squad car and pick me up.(Literally). One under each arm. They get me in the squad car and they start to drive. I start to get sick. I yell, I'm goona throw up. The cop pulls over, opens my door as I puck all over the curb. They asked me if I was done. Well, I thought I was.
As we got closer to the police station, I started to get sick again. This time I didn't make it before they stopped the car and opened up the door. It was all over me and their back seat. The cops pulled into the back of the police station and opened the door, took me out and handed me a hose. They told me I had to clean it up and depending how good I cealned it, depended if I went home or went to juvie.
One of the cops went inside while the other went, got me a few rags and turned on the water full blast. I cleaned myself up and then started to clean up the car. It was horrible but I wanted to get home. I got the rags wet and I set the hose down. There was no nozzle so the water kept running. As I was leaning in the car wiping down the seat, I got sick again so I got out and pucked in a garbage can that was close by. Next thing I hear is "What the hell". I look over and there is water pouring out of the squad car. Apparently I had layed the hose down inside the car and not on the ground like I thought I did. I tried to convince the cops I didn't do it on purpose but I ended up inside the police station and my mom and dad had to come pick me up.
So much for me cleaning up after myself. LOL
Thanks for all the laughs.
I was 13 and stoned drunk. Passed out under a viaduct in Chicago. Two officers come rolling by in their squad car and pick me up.(Literally). One under each arm. They get me in the squad car and they start to drive. I start to get sick. I yell, I'm goona throw up. The cop pulls over, opens my door as I puck all over the curb. They asked me if I was done. Well, I thought I was.
As we got closer to the police station, I started to get sick again. This time I didn't make it before they stopped the car and opened up the door. It was all over me and their back seat. The cops pulled into the back of the police station and opened the door, took me out and handed me a hose. They told me I had to clean it up and depending how good I cealned it, depended if I went home or went to juvie.
One of the cops went inside while the other went, got me a few rags and turned on the water full blast. I cleaned myself up and then started to clean up the car. It was horrible but I wanted to get home. I got the rags wet and I set the hose down. There was no nozzle so the water kept running. As I was leaning in the car wiping down the seat, I got sick again so I got out and pucked in a garbage can that was close by. Next thing I hear is "What the hell". I look over and there is water pouring out of the squad car. Apparently I had layed the hose down inside the car and not on the ground like I thought I did. I tried to convince the cops I didn't do it on purpose but I ended up inside the police station and my mom and dad had to come pick me up.
So much for me cleaning up after myself. LOL
Oh man, Robbie started a good thread.........y'all are bad to the bone.
GYAC that was a blessing in disguise cause if you sold that colored water on the street as au de toilette and they got wind of it.......rather no wind........you'd be in bigger trouble.......LOL.......good taste indeed.
The cardinal rule is ya don't mess up a police officers uniform or his squad car.
So the puke episode I bet they were mighty mad........LOL......flooding a cop car............not good.
Again, I remind half the free world.....the cops will say "Just tell us the truth and we'll let you go".........."Don't you lie to me now"..........WHAT WHAT? No way cause they're simply going to bust yer tail anyway........might as well tell a little white lie.............it's only a venial sin.........not a mortal one.
GYAC that was a blessing in disguise cause if you sold that colored water on the street as au de toilette and they got wind of it.......rather no wind........you'd be in bigger trouble.......LOL.......good taste indeed.
The cardinal rule is ya don't mess up a police officers uniform or his squad car.
So the puke episode I bet they were mighty mad........LOL......flooding a cop car............not good.
Again, I remind half the free world.....the cops will say "Just tell us the truth and we'll let you go".........."Don't you lie to me now"..........WHAT WHAT? No way cause they're simply going to bust yer tail anyway........might as well tell a little white lie.............it's only a venial sin.........not a mortal one.
Oh and ummmmmmm, Janet in that parking lot........good thing you live way South of me or I'd swear you're the chick pulled out of the Wal-Mart parking lot and crossed the double yellow lines cause ya nodded, and we crashed into.
Let me tell ya I wanted to beat that chick senseless in the ambulance.......I didn't get to do my dope yet..........and here comes the cops to the scene.....I didn't care what was broke or smashed or crushed on my body.......I CARED where I was going to hide my bags of dope.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, and worry what my excuse was why I got taken to a particular hospital ER when it's in the Badlands..........what was I doing down there?
Best is the straight up out there excuses we give what we're doing while copping dope too...........WHY AM I HERE........ummmmm, I'm looking for the animal shelter and got lost.........oh I have Texas tags because well I'm lost, sir.
Yes, I know Texas is many states away, but I got on the wrong highway.
Oh I'm looking for my long lost friend who called me and needed help.......what street..........ummmmm, THAT street.......what addy.......ummmmmm, I forget that's how I got here........crazy, awful times.
Let me tell ya I wanted to beat that chick senseless in the ambulance.......I didn't get to do my dope yet..........and here comes the cops to the scene.....I didn't care what was broke or smashed or crushed on my body.......I CARED where I was going to hide my bags of dope.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, and worry what my excuse was why I got taken to a particular hospital ER when it's in the Badlands..........what was I doing down there?
Best is the straight up out there excuses we give what we're doing while copping dope too...........WHY AM I HERE........ummmmm, I'm looking for the animal shelter and got lost.........oh I have Texas tags because well I'm lost, sir.
Yes, I know Texas is many states away, but I got on the wrong highway.
Oh I'm looking for my long lost friend who called me and needed help.......what street..........ummmmm, THAT street.......what addy.......ummmmmm, I forget that's how I got here........crazy, awful times.
