I am 66 days sober now. Picked up my blue chip last Thursday:)
I have a temp. sponsor that approached me at my home group meeting way in the beginning She has been helpful during those first 30 days as I worked to get rid of the obsession to drink.
Well I can feel that obsession lessening each week and I am working on my spiritual path and willing to turn it over to God. I am praying every day...even getting on my knees at times because that is what i hear at the meetings.
I have been feeling pretty good this past week. i haven't seen my sponsor at our weekly meeting and didn' t feel a need to call.
I have been getting in contact with long time friends (outside the AA world) who wanted to know about my recovery. I've talked with another friend who is 2 years sober.
So really my sponsor needs seemed met for now.
But I do want to find a permanent sponsor because I'm just not 'feeln' it with this one' and there are couple woman in my home group that I like and seem to have similar interest.
This seems like such a huge commitment which I have a hard time with at times. I will frett over which brand of workout trainers to buy!!!!
How did your experince work with finding the 'just right ' sponsor for you???
First of all...congrats on 66 days!!! WTG. As for the sponsorship question, I am probably one of the last to take advise on this b/c I don't have a sponsor and my meeting going is sporadic but what I can share is for you to go with your gut. If you aren't feeling open and receptive to the temp, ask someone else. If she doesn't work, ask someone else. Remember, your recovery is about you. Don't worry about how the temp or sponsor will take it...that is their business, not yours.
Congrats, again.
Congrats, again.
Just MY opinion, but if you're waiting for the perfect sponsor, you're gonna be dead before He/She/It shows up. Think about this: It's about The Process, not the personality helping you with The Process. You're probably NOT going to have a life-friend, but more like a mentor. Look for someone with a successful track record of recovering Sponsees who's got a good Program working for themselves. In essence, someone who's got what YOU want to have in recovery.
If you're looking for a friend, you're looking in the wrong seats.... Just a suggestion...
Of course, YOUR results may differ.
If you're looking for a friend, you're looking in the wrong seats.... Just a suggestion...
Of course, YOUR results may differ.
Hi Congrats on the 66 days that is awesome. As for me I have the same sponsor that I started out with(almost 7 months now) and I think my HP was looking out for me. He's a man who is like a father figure to me. I agree with what skg said about looking at their track record. MIne devotes his life to helping others and he do indeed have a wonderful track record.He has stood by me through thick and thin and believe me at times I was and can be hard to deal with He is from the old school and doesn't sugar coat anything and I believe that is the best kind to have. anyone can tell u what you WANT to hear but You need someone to tell you what you NEED to hear whether you like it or not.It hasn't been all roses and sunshine but he has never let me down and for that I am truly grateful. As for me I definitely would NOT be able to do without my sponsor. I wish you all the best in your recovery . Good luck on finding a sponsor who is suited for you and one day at a time thats all we can do. God bless and take care ((((( ))))
Thank your for the congrats and the advice.
I did pray on it a couple nights ago and interestingly enough I hadn't thought about it these past couple days. So I took that as a message that I need to be patient ( impatience is a character flaw I am working on!!!) and just continue with what I am doing cuz it seems to be working. This past week I have felt the most positive about my sobriety!
You guys are right about not looking for a friend and I think that's what I was doing. I can still make AA friends but a sponsor needs to be my mentor.
I don't really know much about my Temp. I need to ask her more questions about her road to sobriety. Then pay more attention to the other's track records. Right now I'm just 'letting go and letting God' on this matter.
What I'm looking for most is someone who can guide me in the steps. I feel I am ready for Step 4. I mean have I completed 2 and 3? I am working on my relationship with God and using pray daily. But I could be wrong.
Then if I am ready for Step 4 I will need guidance to work through recognizing my flaws and drawing up that list of amends- steps 8 and 9.
I have already started trying to make amends with some people in my life- my mother is one of them but we are still trying to repair our relationship and it's been up and down.
With this temp sponsor I have I do all the calling...not that I want someone calling me all the time because then I will feel pressured and watched.
She has started a new job and has had surgery on her arm so I don't want to add anymore stress with my Steps questions or complain about my mother for example. I have a therapist that has me coming every week since I got sober so he fills that role for me. I can sit in his office and hash out fights with my husband, family or co-workers there. He tells me I am making progress. In fact I shared how I handled a fight with my husband last week and he told me that I am my own therapist now!!! I actually applied the principals from the 12 steps/12 Traditions book!
Maybe I am making a bigger deal out of this. I see how important a sponsor is for many AAs when I go to meetings and I am a bit envious of that bond (yes, I know another flaw!!!). I get concerned at times that if I don't' cement that bond now then eventually I may slip. Am I making sense?
Thank you again for reading this and offering advice.
You guys have been very helpful. I don' t post often but I do check in periodically. This website has become another tool in my Sobriety Bag:)
I did pray on it a couple nights ago and interestingly enough I hadn't thought about it these past couple days. So I took that as a message that I need to be patient ( impatience is a character flaw I am working on!!!) and just continue with what I am doing cuz it seems to be working. This past week I have felt the most positive about my sobriety!
You guys are right about not looking for a friend and I think that's what I was doing. I can still make AA friends but a sponsor needs to be my mentor.
I don't really know much about my Temp. I need to ask her more questions about her road to sobriety. Then pay more attention to the other's track records. Right now I'm just 'letting go and letting God' on this matter.
What I'm looking for most is someone who can guide me in the steps. I feel I am ready for Step 4. I mean have I completed 2 and 3? I am working on my relationship with God and using pray daily. But I could be wrong.
Then if I am ready for Step 4 I will need guidance to work through recognizing my flaws and drawing up that list of amends- steps 8 and 9.
I have already started trying to make amends with some people in my life- my mother is one of them but we are still trying to repair our relationship and it's been up and down.
With this temp sponsor I have I do all the calling...not that I want someone calling me all the time because then I will feel pressured and watched.
She has started a new job and has had surgery on her arm so I don't want to add anymore stress with my Steps questions or complain about my mother for example. I have a therapist that has me coming every week since I got sober so he fills that role for me. I can sit in his office and hash out fights with my husband, family or co-workers there. He tells me I am making progress. In fact I shared how I handled a fight with my husband last week and he told me that I am my own therapist now!!! I actually applied the principals from the 12 steps/12 Traditions book!
Maybe I am making a bigger deal out of this. I see how important a sponsor is for many AAs when I go to meetings and I am a bit envious of that bond (yes, I know another flaw!!!). I get concerned at times that if I don't' cement that bond now then eventually I may slip. Am I making sense?
Thank you again for reading this and offering advice.
You guys have been very helpful. I don' t post often but I do check in periodically. This website has become another tool in my Sobriety Bag:)
Let me ask you this...is she taking you thru the steps? If not, why not? If she is not, ask her why. Maybe she will tell you she is only a temp and you need a sponsor to take you thru the steps. Maybe she'll tell you something else. We get a sponsor to take us thru the steps, not to be a buddy although that usually happens, not to be a banker, therapist, realtor, no outside stuff. Another thing, don't do the steps by yourself. You'll need a sponsor for that to teach you what the Big Book is about. Good luck to you.
I'm glad you told me that the sponsor is key to working the steps. My therapist recommended a workbook. I looked at a couple already and I just don't feel up to filling out pages and pages of it. I already have a 7 page questionnaire that he works me thorough. I journal most every day!!
I just need someone I can call and share how I attempted to apply the principles in my daily life. To make sure I am interpreting the steps correctly and then guide me so that I can begin to go through them on my own.
I am going to broach his subject with my Temp sponsor and then begin to look for one I feel comfortable with doing this with.
Honestly my temp has shared some advice and/or pearls of wisdom that just don't' seem to jive with me as the person I am trying to become....
I just need someone I can call and share how I attempted to apply the principles in my daily life. To make sure I am interpreting the steps correctly and then guide me so that I can begin to go through them on my own.
I am going to broach his subject with my Temp sponsor and then begin to look for one I feel comfortable with doing this with.
Honestly my temp has shared some advice and/or pearls of wisdom that just don't' seem to jive with me as the person I am trying to become....
