Yeah, it was kind of a big deal for me. I have been involved with the whole music scene for a long time. Everyone thinks they are superstars. Generally, I am a supporting player so I never had that trip, but it seems that drugs are a part of the lifestyle. Lord knows, I've tried almost everything!
I realized, a couple of years ago, that I needed to get out. I got my teaching degree and I work with inner-city middle school students. It was a good decision because I know many musicians who get messed up because they lament the fact that they never "made it." I built a studio at home and play for fun.
Here's the irony.....after I got out of the whole club scene and settled down, I have a perfect wife, two babies, and a nice home, I got hooked on vicodin!!!!!!!!
WTF!!!!!
It seemed like such a great substance because I would feel so mellow and happy, get MUCH done around the hous, play with the boys. A couple of months ago things started to go South......you all know about the payback. So here I am trying to get this off my back.
I feel just lousy today, but I know that I have so much and these will be the best years of my life when I realize that the pills just get in the way.
So....Friday night was cool this week!
Jer
Jer,
Sittin' at home doing nothing is kinda nice isn't it.
Your going to feel like you have been drug behind a buss for awile. When I was feeling like crap I always reminded myself that I did it to myself with all the pills I took. Don't dwell on it, it will just make you feel crappier.
Today I feel great. I sleep like a normal person. I have normal energy. You're going to feel great in no time.
You are living the dream many musicians would give their right arm for. You have your music, your children and your sobriety. Gloat Jer, Gloat.
Catherine
Sittin' at home doing nothing is kinda nice isn't it.
Your going to feel like you have been drug behind a buss for awile. When I was feeling like crap I always reminded myself that I did it to myself with all the pills I took. Don't dwell on it, it will just make you feel crappier.
Today I feel great. I sleep like a normal person. I have normal energy. You're going to feel great in no time.
You are living the dream many musicians would give their right arm for. You have your music, your children and your sobriety. Gloat Jer, Gloat.
Catherine
mrjer:
I can totally relate to the "tried everything". I am 44, so, I lived through the 80's...I think we all know what that decade was about.
I dabbled in everything...never a problem, never even habitual. Thought it was fun, thought it was okay. But the feeling it was "okay" led me to taking a few pills when there was no pain...and like you, I became super woman. Tremendous amount of work going on....man, was I productive...
But, it was a lie. I was just an addict. HA! What a joke.
I felt like crapola for a while too. But, it does pass...and we do have to pay to play, nothing in life is free....everything is a trade. I traded feeling like crap for a while for being free of the constant obsessing over pills.
Counting pills, scoring pills, recounting pills, taking pills, counting pills again, scoring more pills, thinking about taking pills, making sure I had my pills with me, checking to see where I had put my pills, checking to see how many I had taken, counting them again, making calls to get more pills, checking all my hiding places to see where I had extra pills, faking sick to get pills, calling dangerous people to go get more pills, hiding pills, finding pills, checking pockets of jackets to see if there were any pills there.........ENOUGH.
By the time I was done, trust me, I had rolled in that dogs*** enough to know I wanted to be done. I wasn't exactly sure how, but I reached out and found nothing but support. I made a plan...and I work my plan. I am grateful that it didn't get worse than it did...
Hang on to thoughts of your family. Your children deserve to be talking to their "sober" father...you deserve to really be hearing your children without the opiate filter.
Sarah
I can totally relate to the "tried everything". I am 44, so, I lived through the 80's...I think we all know what that decade was about.
I dabbled in everything...never a problem, never even habitual. Thought it was fun, thought it was okay. But the feeling it was "okay" led me to taking a few pills when there was no pain...and like you, I became super woman. Tremendous amount of work going on....man, was I productive...
But, it was a lie. I was just an addict. HA! What a joke.
I felt like crapola for a while too. But, it does pass...and we do have to pay to play, nothing in life is free....everything is a trade. I traded feeling like crap for a while for being free of the constant obsessing over pills.
Counting pills, scoring pills, recounting pills, taking pills, counting pills again, scoring more pills, thinking about taking pills, making sure I had my pills with me, checking to see where I had put my pills, checking to see how many I had taken, counting them again, making calls to get more pills, checking all my hiding places to see where I had extra pills, faking sick to get pills, calling dangerous people to go get more pills, hiding pills, finding pills, checking pockets of jackets to see if there were any pills there.........ENOUGH.
By the time I was done, trust me, I had rolled in that dogs*** enough to know I wanted to be done. I wasn't exactly sure how, but I reached out and found nothing but support. I made a plan...and I work my plan. I am grateful that it didn't get worse than it did...
Hang on to thoughts of your family. Your children deserve to be talking to their "sober" father...you deserve to really be hearing your children without the opiate filter.
Sarah
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
Sarah...that post was so powerful...when I read it...it was like watching myself!
Hey Kee Kee...
I know we are all individuals, but in reality we are all one big self...just struggling with life, and trying to find happiness. Somehow, we (the addict us) got side tracked into thinking those dang pills were making us feel better.
It was a dream, huh? I am so grateful we woke up. I am grateful for being sober and I am grateful I can share with others...learn their wisdom, and share hope.
For today, I am clean. And if I make it another day, then I can have a tomorrow. In active addiction it is so hard to see tomorrow. When we are using, tomorrow doesn't really hold much mystery...just more of the same.
I can actually say, that I am finally looking forward to what a new day holds...even with all the pain...there is some joy. At least I can see that now.
That fog really does lift, doesn't it?
S.
I
Hey Jer!
So glad you are doing so well with your recovery. Since you are a musician, you may like listening to Blue October....if you have not already. Justin, the lead singer, is a former addict and has overcome such adversity and it shows in the way he writes his songs. Very neat band .....check them out...www.blueoctoberfan.com and let me know what you think. :)
Much love and support, Cherie
So glad you are doing so well with your recovery. Since you are a musician, you may like listening to Blue October....if you have not already. Justin, the lead singer, is a former addict and has overcome such adversity and it shows in the way he writes his songs. Very neat band .....check them out...www.blueoctoberfan.com and let me know what you think. :)
Much love and support, Cherie
I will check them out.
All of my heroes seem to have died!
All of my heroes seem to have died!
Jer, check out Chameleon Boy by Blue.....he talks about how all his idols have passed away. Have a great day! Cherie
Keep it up buddy. What day are you on now? Is it 5, you are off work tomorrow as well. Thats very good. Maybe hit up a MAss tonight and pray a litte?
Keep it up. Soon you have one week, that QUICKLY moves to two weeks. That third week is a big changer. So im happy for you!
Fight fight and fight. Its the battle of your life
if u need me let me know. I am new to this, but i have 30 days and get my chip tonight
Im very excited
Keep it up. Soon you have one week, that QUICKLY moves to two weeks. That third week is a big changer. So im happy for you!
Fight fight and fight. Its the battle of your life
if u need me let me know. I am new to this, but i have 30 days and get my chip tonight
Im very excited
"I know that I have so much and these will be the best years of my life when I realize that the pills just get in the way."
awwww mr jer i love what you just said.
you're strong.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
awwww mr jer i love what you just said.
you're strong.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
